Wikihood/arc/P14

Summary

When Debonair D'Arque has kicked the residents of Townindale out, you know he's up to no good. Leave it to the Sea Hitmen to get to the bottom of it!

Transcript

{D'Arque, still triumphant over his clever ruse, is standing there, expecting idolization at his claims. Instead he is met with confusion and anger at his statement.}

DEBONAIR: Well? You have one hour to gather your things. I can't sit here and entertain you mindless zombies. I have an army of mindless zombies to make!

{Various noises of disapproval can be heard.}

VOLKOV: This is outrage! I climb out of sewer grate for this?

TRACY: As if I'd let you boss me around, you stuffy suit!

MRS. KANG: 참조? 바로 눈 앞에 증거! (See? Proof, right before your eyes!)

MR. KANG: Now now, honey.

SARAH: {In non-regional accent with constant neutral inflection} I can't believe I went to broadcasting school for this! I've forgotten how to speak like a normal person after all of that!

DR. HOBO: REVOLUTION!!!

{Dr. Hobo throws a boot at D'Arque, who swiftly dodges it.}

TRACY: Ey, I like this guy's thinking! DOWN WITH THE SYSTEM!!

{D'Arque crouches behind his podium as the crowd begins to boo furiously and throw missiles in his general direction.}

OLD WOMAN: {A-la Monty Python} I didn't vote for him!

DEBONAIR: {Under his breath} Droll, a distraction!

{Droll gets in front of D'Arque, only for a rock to be thrown directly at his forehead, knocking him down. Cut to Noxigar and Oceanna, back in Bluehaven.}

NOXIGAR: I should probably go back and see if my friends at the Wikihood Manor are doing okay.

{Surveillance cameras at the Wikihood Manor activate and reveal Debonair D'Arque's speech about evicting every living person in Towningdale.}

OCEANNA: Hey! How did those activate?!

{Oceanna's phone rings.}

OCEANNA: Give me a second.

{Oceanna answers the phone.}

QUIGLEY: We have a problem in Towningdale. You need to get to the Black Markets immediately.

OCEANNA: I have company over!

QUIGLEY: That Noxigar chap can come with us. I don't really know or care if he survives, but I bet Dirk Dattebayo and the other Warlocks of the Sea Hitmen will see him as useful. You know the drill, Madam Erebos.

{Quigley hangs up.}

OCEANNA: That humourless prick!

NOXIGAR: So I guess that means I can come with?

OCEANNA: Yeah. I have a 2014 Focus Sedan in the garage we can use.

NOXIGAR: Alright. On the way to Towningdale, I might want to stop by Excaliburger since I have the munchies, and also the post office to deliver a letter to a guy who dresses up as the Genie from Aladdin.

{Oceanna and Noxigar walk to the garage. They get in the Focus Sedan, and drive out of Oceanna's apartment complex in it. Cut back to Townindale. The situation has gotten even more out of control as people try to climb on top of the stage to get their hands on D'Arque. With a fire hydrant handy, Droll is managing to repel hordes of angry citizens.}

DEBONAIR: Day after day, you people went about your ordinary lives, safe under the watchful eyes of D'Arque. Did I once get thanks for what I did for this town? Noooo. All I managed to learn from all this is that every single one of you are ungrateful pieces of work!

SARAH: Ungrateful pieces of work? What the hell are you talking about?

DEBONAIR: Oh, you know perfectly well what I am talking about, Miss McAllister! Coming home from work every day, you're all like "transport in this town is so crap, the buses hardly ever run on time!"

SARAH: Well they don't! I work all the way in Midway, and sometimes I have wait 45 minutes for the bus to Townindale! Do you know how long the wait supposed to be?

DEBONAIR: Enlighten me.

SARAH: FIFTEEN MINUTES.

DEBONAIR: Huh. Well... um.. in my day, you had to walk that far whenever you needed to get somewhere! Just another example of an self-entitled generation! But no, please let me continue.

ALBERT: We're not self-entitled! Expectations have just risen, and our demands change accordingly!

{The people carry on rioting. D'Arque quickly runs over and takes a megaphone out of the theatre. He runs back outside and yells into it.}

DEBONAIR: WAIT. I HAVE A COMPROMISE.

SARAH: Oh? And what's that? Actual governmental representation? Regular elections? A mayor that not only is aware of the town he's governing, but one that actually listens to us?

DEBONAIR: Oh, but I have been listening to you. And that is why I am offering you all the greatest compromise of them all!

VOLKOV: Compromise? Of what are you speaking of, bony man?

DEBONAIR: Well I'm sure that you're all aware, considering how it's been all over the news, I mean. But over the last few weeks, a neighboring establishment of Townindale has been celebrating some... success, as of late.

SARAH: So what? You're just gonna kick us out and force us all into Midway?

DEBONAIR: That's exactly what I'm going to do! You see, Mr. Rosenberg and I have had a long relationship of sorts, and I've decided to give him a nice little gift from the House of D'Arque! You! The people! I'm sure James will appreciate such brilliant minds among his ranks. After all, you all seem to be rather... confident of your own abilities. So what's the big harm?

SARAH: The fact that we have houses here? Or the fact that several of our families have established roots here?

DEBONAIR: Hm. Good point. You're all smart people. Deal with it yourselves.

{The crowd begins to riot again, storming the stage as Droll fights them off singlehandedly with the fire extinguisher.}

DEBONAIR: If that's how want to play it, then so be it. DANE. LET US GET SOME CROWD CONTROL.

{Pan up to reveal Dane on the theatre's roof, who has his DJ turntable completely set up. He gives a thumbs up to D'Arque who nods back at him. Dane puts on his headphones and presses play on the machine. Suddenly music starts playing throughout every speaker in the city, much like the brainwashing signals in Episode 6. As the music begins to pick up, the citizens begin to become more and more disoriented. Suddenly, the bass drops, and the unadulterated power of the music blasts all the citizens off the stage, leaving only D'Arque, Droll on the stage. The music's power starts disrupting the crowd, the citizens all begin to pick themselves up, they begin fleeing in masses.}

DEBONAIR: NOW SCRAM!!

{Lightning cracks as Debonair begins to cackle in an evil manner. Cut to the Wikihood crew, who have now just arrived back at the front door of the Rosenberg Industries headquarters.}

LEX: Wow, despite the merciless devastation of our parade float, that parade went much better than expected. My feet hurt from standing for so long, though.

CHAOS: I just can't believe Rosenberg liked it. I can't believe anyone liked it. It was a disaster.

LEX: A beautiful disaster!

CHAOS: You can say that again, man.

OIRACUL: Indeed. I just can't wait to get back to Townindale. The last few days have been fun, but.. well, pretty turbulent too. From dealing with these two,

{Oiracul gestures towards Ventin and Sirrus. Ventin shrugs.}

OIRACUL: To suddenly being kidnapped by this guy.

{Oiracul motions to a portrait of Rosenberg on the wall.}

OIRACUL: To suddenly becoming his "business partners", and having adventures with Russian drug gangs and robots, and then being the subject of a parade. I just have to say, after all that, I would kill for a relaxing day of sleep. Or at the very least, a day where I can lounge around and marathon soap operas. Either one is ace to me.

STEPHANIE: Soon, guys. Rosenberg wanted to congratulate you all personally.

CHAOS: Is anything he does personal?

STEPHANIE: ...As close to personal as he can, I mean.

VENTIN: I miss Snoop Lion.

{Chaos puts his hand on Ventin's shoulder.}

CHAOS: We all do. But we must always remember. You can never call Snoop Lion, for he only comes around when he is needed.

{Chaos looks up into the sky. The stars rearrange themselves into the shape of a lion. Chaos sheds one tear of happiness. They walk into the headquarters, to see an older man arguing with the receptionist.}

???: Come on!! What do you mean I can't see him? He's my goddamn uncle, for Christ's sake!

RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry, Marvin. I know you're family and all, but you know how he never takes visitors.

MARV: You really don't get it though! This is a literal matter of life and death, I need to see the man! Do you know how infuriating it is to constantly talk to him on the phone, but not actually get to see him?

CHAOS: Heh, join the club!!

{Marv turns around, and sees Steph.}

MARV: Steph!! Excellent timing!

STEPHANIE: Marv, how pleasant it is to see you. How's the club thing going?

MARV: Oh, pretty good, other than the whole debt thing.

STEPHANIE: Bonifacio's on your back again?

MARV: Yep.

STEPHANIE: DuTempi's on ours.

MARV: Yeah, but DuTempi's not a complete bastard.

STEPHANIE: Hm, good point. Nonetheless, James told me to expect you. Excellent. Follow me to my office, I'll pay you accordingly.

MARV: Why can't I just see the man himself?

STEPHANIE: You know how he is. All isolationist and all.

MARV: Yeah, but for over thirty years? I mean.. come on!

STEPHANIE: If it makes you feel better, I hardly see him either.

{Steph, Marv, and The Wikihood make their way over to the elevators. The receptionist gives Marv a sympathetic nod, and Marv responds with a sigh. Cut to the elevators.}

LEX: So... I assume you know each other, then?

STEPHANIE: Oh, yes. How rude of me not to introduce you all. This is-...

MARV: Marvin Rosenberg, at your service! How do you do?

{Marv awkwardly and enthusiastically goes over to shake everyone's hand, before letting out a small chuckle.}

CHAOS: A relative, I presume?

MARV: Heh, more or less. Nephew, actually. Great nephew, in fact. Although really, we're more related in business than in blood. I run a bunch of clubs, y'know, no big deal. Heheh.

{Stephanie sighs.}

STEPHANIE: Marv, remember the guys I was talking to you about on the phone? This is them. The Wikihood.

MARV: Ohh. Yes, I remember. Heard a lot about you guys. Namely how you're all a bunch of "stubborn gits" who my uncle had to convince you to help him.

{Steph gives him a light jab in the ribs with her elbow.}

MARV: I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Nah, I've heard some good things about you all, really!

OIRACUL: Like what?

MARV: Like your ability to flick the "on" switch, for one! Heh.

CHAOS: Are you always this cocky?

STEPHANIE AND MARV: Yes.

MARV: No, but seriously, I really have heard good things, like your whole "ability to work as a team", and "are able to get things done quickly and efficiently", all that kind of stuff.

STEPHANIE: It's true. I even gave him your contact details, just in case he needed anything from you guys. Not that you're obligated to though. Far from it, in fact.

MARV: Hey!

STEPHANIE: It's a joke!

STEPHANIE: {To Chaos} Don't worry though, he does pay well.

CHAOS: Hey, as long as he pays well and doesn't expect us to constantly go into suicide missions, I am game.

MARV: No promises.

CHAOS: I didn't think so.

{The elevator reaches the top floor, and they all come out, into Stephanie's office. Stephanie walks over to her office deck and pulls out an already written check, which she hands to Marv.}

MARV: I'm never gonna get to see him, am I?

STEPHANIE: I'm sorry, Marv.

MARV: Eh, it's fine. I know he's a busy man. Send the guy my regards, nonetheless.

STEPHANIE: Will do!

{As Marv walks back to the elevator, he beckons to the Wikihood.}

MARV: Nice to meet you all, by the way. I've known about you all for a while, but it's good to actually see you face-to-face before I start bombarding you all with job offers. Heh, I hope James won't overwork you any time soon.

CHAOS: Neither do we!

MARV: Hah! Well, I'll be seeing you all sooner or later. Maybe, or maybe not! Ah, whatever!

{Marv waves them all goodbye before going back into the elevator.}

LEX: Well he seems friendly.

REMOLAY: Different to his uncle at least.

CHAOS: Not as much of a fuddy duddy, for one.

STEPHANIE: He's a good guy, once you get to know him. Annoying as all hell, but a good guy.

OIRACUL: "Annoying" is an apt assessment.

{The group continues on their way. Cut to one of the many cemeteries in Townindale. Droll has put a facemask on and is painting his face ceremonially. Dane is wearing a full-out gas mask, ready with his keyboard, which he then sets to Pipe Organ. D'Arque is seated just outside the graveyard.}

DEBONAIR: You may begin.

{Droll nods his head. He motions to Dane, who begins a funeral dirge, but then instantly slows down to the point of stopping and reverses the tune, which slowly and slowly builds in intensity. Droll lights a single candle and places it down in the center. Droll lights one stick in incense and begins to chant in beat with the music while shuffling and dancing. Storm clouds form overhead, and lighting begins to strike the area. Each strike slowly begins to travel and drag in the direction of the candle, though for the most part they fade out before they can make it. Droll's chanting intensifies, and so does the lightning.}

DEBONAIR: Come now, don't mess this one up...

{The lightning begins to trace itself to the candle in full. As the music increases in intensity, the lightning begins to travel faster and faster, until the point where many bolts of lightning are traveling at breakneck speeds. At the last cadence when the music has climbed to it's peak, the lightning is all centered on the candle, which then strikes the candle. The fire turns a deep blue as the patterns traced by the lightning leading up to the candle erupt in flames of a similar color.}

DEBONAIR: Resplendent! Now rise, RISE! {Cackles ferociously}

{Though at first the image would normally display many undead rising out of the ground, such is not the case. That image is betrayed as the flames travel along the ground. It's become evident that the shape traced into the ground by the lightning is more indicative of a giant person, and as the ground shakes, bones and tombstones begin to float to greet the emerging form of the raw earth, dirt and stone. The bones fly into the humanoid form, which starts emaciated and skinny, but slowly grows until it's turned into a massive behemoth of undead and soil. The tombstones form spikes, spines, a tail, and nails on this monster. The center of it's eyelids contain two skulls, which then ignite with the same blue fire. Droll is laying on top of the golem behemoth's head, panting.}

DEBONAIR: Yes, yes! Droll, this is perfect! You've created a true masterpiece here.

DROLL: {huffing and puffing} Yes...well...there's still...3 graveyards...to go!

DEBONAIR: {Calling to the behemoth} Who's a good boy? You are! Yes, you are!

{The behemoth picks D'Arque up and places him on the crown of his head. D'Arque lays on a tombstone.}

DEBONAIR: Here's hoping your magic serves us well enough, Droll.

DANE: Good thing I didn't plan on sleeping tonight.

{The behemoth turns to face Dane.}

DANE: Damn, I'm just kidding! You don't have to grill me for it...

{The behemoth picks Dane and his keyboard up and trundles along towards the next graveyard. Cut to Oceanna and Noxigar, in the Black Markets. The Black Markets are desolate, save for the Sea Hitman's Underwater Coney Island Disco Palace people that are present. Oceanna and Noxigar get out of the Focus Sedan and approach the other Sea Hitmen.}

OCEANNA: Okay, Fort Knox. Whatever you do, let me talk first.

{Noxigar shrugs.}

OCEANNA: So, what's up?

{One of the other Sea Hitmen steps forward.}

??????: Good timing. We were hearing seismic disturbances.

OCEANNA: Where are the other people, Polonium?

POLONIUM: They are scouting to see where the earthquakes are coming from.

NOXIGAR: Earthquakes? Any places that are hit?

POLONIUM: A couple of clustered apartment complexes built near Towningdale's university. Otherwise, nothing consequential.

OCEANNA: Why are the Black Markets empty?

POLONIUM: A majority of Towningdale's living townsfolk have been evicted from the premises. I guess this time, they looked everywhere, not even sparing the markets.

NOXIGAR: Wow, that sucks.

POLONIUM: Indeed, it does. However, we do not know if the Mayor is still around in Town Hall, let alone anyone else. I've sent some of Dirk's men to see if they'd give us a clue as to what's going on.

OCEANNA: And what of the others?

POLONIUM: We are trying to gather clues elsewhere.

NOXIGAR: The "clues" seem to be right in front of you. Debonair D'Arque's probably planning to remake Towningdale into the image he's had in the 1800's. He'd be able to do this by resurrecting everybody from Towningdale who died and was from D'Arque's era.

POLONIUM: But you haven't-

NOXIGAR: I do know the Mayor fairly well, since he gave me a sketchbook and seemed spooked by some of the unfortunate mysteries going on. I also have it back in my manor, which coincidentally is not far from Town Hall, or Towningdale's prestigious campus.

POLONIUM: Hmm... I guess you could lead us the way.

NOXIGAR: Okay.

{Noxigar and Oceanna walk back to the Focus Sedan. The other Sea Hitmen people are in their respective cars, of varying sizes and brands. They then proceed to drive to the Wikihood Manor, and stop at it.}

OCEANNA: Noxigar, what's the point of going to the Manor?

NOXIGAR: The other residents of the Manor are away at Midway. If Towningdale's living are evicted from here, that means there's going to be plenty of traffic stopping them from coming back. I'd like to keep the house in one place, as in its basement is a daemon-possessed recluse who, if left unchecked, would make Debonair D'Arque look like a chump in the process. Meanwhile, we've been constructing and expanding on the Manor over time thank to Fritz and Lang's efforts.

{The other Sea Hitmen start occupying different rooms within the Manor's second floor.}

NOXIGAR: Since Town Hall seems to be exempt from this eviction policy, I figured half of the crew can also survive here while we go and confront the Mayor and any armed guards he might have with him. If he's holding people hostage, or whatever, it would seem fitting to confront him with some of our more elite.

POLONIUM: Hm. I reckon we can pick up Dirk Dattebayo and his Warlocks along the way?

NOXIGAR: Probably. Depends on who we take along with us from here. I get the feeling a majority of you guys will want the safety and comfort of the Wikihood Manor, so I say we bring a handful and pick up some allies with us while heading to Town Hall.

OCEANNA: This initiative seems... unnatural.

NOXIGAR: I'd like to see the Mayor myself. But first...

{Noxigar heads upstairs and grabs his sketchbook from upstairs.}

NOXIGAR: There. The Mayor gave me this weird sketchbook as a gift, claiming it had magical powers. I figured it might be useful, but I wanted to see if some magical experts would analyze it to see if it is magic or if the Mayor was just an old coot. Better to be safe than sorry, right?

OCEANNA: I'll stay to look at it. As much as I'd like to come with, I get the feeling this confrontation you plan to have with the Mayor is personal.

NOXIGAR: You're correct on that feeling. I guess I better get going. I probably won't fight the Mayor, but I can at least ransack his place and steal everything he has.

{Noxigar leaves the front door of the Wikihood Manor, using a skateboard as a means of travel from the Manor to Town Hall. A few minutes later, and several of the Sea Hitmen follow Noxigar from their automobiles. Getting to Town Hall does not take very long. Noxigar heads inside through the back, making sure to check every hallway for guards. There are none. Noxigar moves through and busts a door open to the Mayor's office. At the end of the room, he sees a collection of armor that is incomplete, encased in a glass display case.}

NOXIGAR: Hm, I wonder where the Mayor got these relics from.

{Noxigar looks at the case.}

NOXIGAR: I really don't want to do this, but... Oh who am I kidding, I've always wanted to do this!

{Noxigar goes over to the Mayor's desk and picks up a bust. He smashes the glass case and takes the articles of clothing out, observing them all.}

NOXIGAR: If the Mayor expected looters, he probably shouldn't have just left all this stuff laying here.

{Noxigar then puts on armored leggings first.}

NOXIGAR: Siege-Resistant Size 31 Leggings. Finally, some pants that fit me!

{Noxigar then puts on some blue shoes.}

NOXIGAR: These must be Debonair D'Arque's Favorite Pair of Blue Suede Shoes. I guess I'll just be taking these, since D'Arque was stupid enough to leave them in the care of this senile fool.

{Noxigar puts on a belt to keep his armored leggings in place.}

NOXIGAR: The Spoony Bard's Hopeful Codpiece.

{Noxigar then puts on two different gloves. One is a long, yellow gauntlet. The other is a sequin diamond glove.}

NOXIGAR: Now why would the Mayor get mismatched gloves? I only see one Yellow Beauty Action-Pump. And then there's this Singular Diamond Glove of Triumph. I guess these'll have to come with me, regardless of whether there is an actual second glove for either. If legend serves, one glove allows me to punch with fire, and the other allows me to punch with ice. I'll need both to kill D'Arque once and for all.

{Noxigar then has his assemblage complete for now, ready to leave Town Hall. However, he notices the Mayor has other things, like wads of cash, and he puts it all in a giant sack on his way out.}

NOXIGAR: Now that I've robbed the man completely, I shall leave the poor Mayor be.

{Noxigar leaves Town Hall. Most of Dirk's Warlocks are outside, showed by Dirk himself.}

DIRK: Wait a sec. Quigley didn't send you here.

NOXIGAR: I came with Oceanna.

DIRK: Oh, for the love of-.. ugh, never mind.

{Noxigar shrugs.}

DIRK: I was actually on my way to publicly hold the Mayor to ransom while we have control over the television station.

NOXIGAR: Wait... we're on TV?

{One of Dirk's Warlocks has a camera on hand, recording everything around them.}

DIRK: Yeah. They don't know it yet, but we're in full control right now. I'm sure they won't mind us borrowing some of their equipment for a little while.

NOXIGAR: How long did that take to set up?

DIRK: We found transmissions towers not too far from Town Hall. It took about thirty minutes, tops.

NOXIGAR: I see.

{Noxigar waves at the camera.}

NOXIGAR: I hope the rest of the Wikihood crew are getting this.

DIRK: They will. The media station is already reporting on the mass-evacuation situation. But this? Oh man, this will be the scoop of a lifetime. They should be thanking us for what we're gonna be giving them.

NOXIGAR: I have to complete my ridiculous get-up so far, as you can see.

DIRK: Heh. Good luck.

{Noxigar swiftly returns to the Wikihood Manor, satisfied with his robbery of Town Hall. Meanwhile, Dirk and his Warlocks enter the transmission towers.}

{Cut back to Noxigar, who is in his room with all of the Necromantic Armor pieces he's collected equipped. He is heading downstairs to greet Oceanna and the other Sea Hitmen as they are planning to leave.}

OCEANNA: Hey, Fort Knox. We want to stay here, but we have to get word to Midway about this whole eviction.

NOXIGAR: I don't see the problem. Won't the news be able to tell Rosenberg all this?

OCEANNA: Yeah, but we also looked out the window and saw undead behemoths walking about aimlessly.

NOXIGAR: Wow. That sounds like something you should tell them.

OCEANNA: We took pictures, and are amassing an exodus to Midway.

NOXIGAR: Here's to hoping Rosenberg doesn't blockade the place.

{Noxigar hugs Oceanna.}

OCEANNA: Bye.

{The Sea Hitmen leave. Noxigar is now on his own.}

NOXIGAR: Hm, I'm hungry. I should make something to eat, then try to locate the last Necromantic Armour piece. Once I have it, I'll be able to fight back against D'Arque's asylum.

{Noxigar goes into the fridge and begins rummaging. Cut to D'Arque and Dane, still seated on top of a behemoth, but now followed by two other ones. Droll is being carried in the arms of one of them, looking old and withered. As the behemoths take steps, they sometimes drop various undead out of them as if they were sweating undead.}

DANE: Is that supposed to be like that?

DEBONAIR: Of course! The behemoths are just like transports for them. They pack their own punch and when you finally take them down and cut them open - out pops a whole graveyards' worth of undead!

{Droll has begun wheezing frantically. He puts his thumb up in approval.}

DANE: What's wrong with Droll?

DEBONAIR: Nothing I haven't seen him pull through before. Necromancy always took quite a toll on one's body, and Goblins are no exception.

{The behemoths have reached their destination; An old and mostly burnt down forest. in the middle of the hills on the outskirts of town. The behemoth carrying Droll lets him down.}

DEBONAIR: Yes, Droll! This is it! Animate these trees! Let them breath the sweet fragrance of undeath into the atmosphere!

{Dane puts his gas mask back on and pulls out a Casio mini keyboard. He plays a shorter and simpler version of the same song he used to animate the graveyards. Droll, who can't stand up, raises his hands and shimmies on his knees. With lighting striking the stumps, each one returns to a rich brown, and then fades into purple, before dulling closer to grey. Most of them arise from the ground as withered trees with various mouth-shaped orifices and eyes on them. As more and more rise up, most of them begin to emit a noxious purple gas.}

DEBONAIR: Yes! Let the miasma flow!

{Dane leans into D'Arque.}

DANE: What's this stuff do again?

DEBONAIR: It's bad juju. It's like nerve stimulants, but for undead. When they get a whiff of this, not only will they become more powerful than before, but living people will be reduced to a withered husk!

{Dane looks over at Droll, who's almost in a puddle, like a dried up scarf tossed on the ground.}

DANE: Speaking of looking withered...

{D'Arque slides down the back of the behemoth he's on and takes the hand of one of the undead females. He drags her over to D'Arque.}

UNDEAD: Hey! Let go of me! I'm not one of your little casting couch playtoys!

DEBONAIR: Of course not, my little cherry blossom. But you've run your course and clearly if you can't be of use to me then you can better serve Droll over here.

{He tosses her onto Droll. She is hesitant to move away, but Droll simply takes her hand and begins cuddling it. She seems sympathetic, until he pulls her in and starts necking her. At first it's harmless, and she even starts laughing, until he sinks his teeth in and tears off a piece of her flesh. As he does, she erupts in a violent purple flame of magic as her being disintegrates her body. As soon as she is devoured by the flames, which promptly disappear, he seemingly slips off into death.}

DANE: What the hell just happened! He just ate her! And was she self cooking, or...?

DEBONAIR: Quiet! The process is almost finished.

{Droll's corpse begins to shake violently, until it bursts open like a balloon. Confetti and streamers accompany the explosion, and out pops a new Droll, complete with birthday hat and party horn. He's covered in brown ichor and is stark naked.}

DROLL: Surprise! It's a boy!

DEBONAIR: {Clapping with glee} Splendid, Droll! Simply Splendid!

DANE: {To nobody} I feel incredibly uncomfortable right now.

{D'Arque hands Droll a new shirt and Droll puts it on. Droll starts looting his old body for the rest of his suit and voodoo equipment and proceeds.}

DROLL: Anything for a hard day's pay.

DANE: I hope he doesn't expect me to be able to do that...

{Dane pokes at his stomach for a minute. Cut to Dirk and his Warlocks, in one of the transmissions terminals.}

DIRK: So.

WARLOCK 1: So.

DIRK: Have we transmitted the information?

WARLOCK 2: Only part of the info's made it through, boss. The remaining bits and pieces are suddenly blocked.

DIRK: Hm? What could possibly be-

{Dirk looks outside the transmissions tower's window, to see a noxious cloud forming.}

DIRK: Guys. We've gotta go to Midway to finish the rest.

WARLOCK 3: Hm?

{Dirk puts on his gas mask, signalling the others to do the rest. They do.}

WARLOCK 4: Okay, so what do we do now?

DIRK: Easy. D'Arque's left his message. We depart for Midway. Does anybody have a soulstone on hand?

WARLOCK 5: I do!

{Warlock 5 tosses Dirk a soulstone, as he opens a portal.}

DIRK: Miasmas may block satellite transmissions, but they don't block portals. Everybody get through!

{All the Warlocks enter the portal, which slowly begins to vanish after everyone else has departed. Cut to Oceanna and the other people in the cars, also witnessing the miasma. It takes a few minutes before they realize something's afoot, and everyone puts on their gas masks while they continue driving to Midway. Cut to Noxigar, who's now outside of the Wikihood Manor. At the end of the street, he spots a group of undead guards, patrolling the area for anyone living.}

NOXIGAR: So it's true. The undead have come out to play. Hm, if I play my cards right, I might be able to evade them. Or I could try getting through by force, but...

{Pause.}

NOXIGAR: What is that awful stench?

{Noxigar looks at his surroundings and begins to notice the miasma filling the air. As he carries on breathing it in, he begins to choke. Immediately, he rushes back into the manor, shutting the door behind him.}

NOXIGAR: Not only has D'Arque evicted all this town's tenants in favor of his own, but he's even begun to fill the town with noxious gas. I'm not sure if I should admire this, or be offended at the fact that he's totally ripping off my specialty!

{Noxigar surveys the area around the house, before spotting the basement door.}

NOXIGAR: It's a good thing I can actually survive some of these gases. Still though, I'd rather not stick around to see how long it takes for me to fall victim to them. I'll see if I can try and concoct some kind of counter mixture against this, or- no, not enough time.

{Noxigar runs to the basement door, locking it behind him as he goes through. Walking to his experiment desk, he sees Vindicator in the shadows, sleeping peacefully.}

NOXIGAR: Awwww, it's almost as if this guy wasn't a complete danger to us all back in the day. In this moment, I'm kinda jealous.

{Noxigar notices that the television is still plugged in, and that the light is on, indicating that there is still electricity in the household.}

NOXIGAR: I could try and build some kind of makeshift gas mask so I can escape this town without choking to death. But before that, I wanna see what the news says about all this.

{Noxigar goes to turn the TV on. Cut back to the Wikihood in the Rosenberg Industries tower. Stephanie leads them all to the room with the giant monitor.}

CHAOS: Yo, Rosie. We're back!

LEX: We gotta say, the parade went better than... well, we had expected! Even with the whole accident.

CHAOS: Yeah, all the adoring crowds, the music, the free food, gotta say, we actually had a pretty good time. I do hope the camera got my good side though.

{Silence.}

STEPHANIE: Sir?

OIRACUL: Is he alright?

STEPHANIE: He should be, it's not like he goes anywhere. Sir?

{Silence.}

STEPHANIE: Hm. This is not like him. All in all, he really just wanted to congratulate you all personally. That's a shame. Nonetheless, I won't keep you waiting. Come with me, I'll write you all a paycheck, and you can go your way.

REMOLAY: Oh yay, I can't wait. I am exhausted.

CHAOS: Tell me about it, I'm starting to miss my bed.

{Steph and the Wikihood turn around, to go back to Steph's office. Suddenly, the monitor turns on.}

ROSENBERG: I don't think that's an option at the moment.

{They turn back around, to see that the monitor is on.}

CHAOS: What? What do you mean?

ROSENBERG: You should see this.

{Everyone looks at the monitor as it changes channel. Just before the news comes on, we cut to black.}

END.