(even if you aren't vegan)


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As the heroes complete their objective, they get ready to split and travel to new universes, while Tannenbaum begins to put an insidious plan into motion. Noxigar does what he does in the South Park universe, and also uses holograms to make the "heroes" go forth into Maze World as a distraction.


{Chaos is walking out of the Furter Mansion, covered in blood.}

CHAOS: Thank you for the wonderful time, Professor.

FRANK: Anytime. Call me when you're in the area.

CHAOS: Of course. Stay frosty!

{Chaos begins to walk away. As soon as he does, the house takes off, just like in the end. Chaos neglects to notice, and walks away to where he arrived from.}

CHAOS: Oh, I'm much too filthy to go save the Omniverse!

{Chaos presses buttons on his Comm-link and his outfit changes back.}

CHAOS: Now to call that one guy...

{Chaos presses more buttons.}

JOSEPH: {Through Comm-link} Chaos?

CHAOS: Yeah, I just got finished fortifying this universe I'm on. It should be safe. I planted safety measures and failsafes and everything. How about you guys?

JOSEPH: We fixed up Strong Mad and Strong Bad, and we're rooting out the Nobodies as we speak. Plentiful little buggers.

CHAOS: I'm moving on now. I'll check back up when I make contact, or as soon as I can.

{Cut to the Field, with Joseph, as he and the others are battling countless Nobodies which are surrounding them.}

JOSEPH: You heard him guys, let's go!

STRONG SAD: I'll try to hold them off. Go! Get yourself to safety.

JOSEPH: Will you be able to handle them?

STRONG SAD: I'm still a Nobody. I'll work on curing myself later. But right now, I can at least put my skills to work, can't I?

JOSEPH: Be careful. Contact us after you're done holding them off. And don't forget that you've got your brothers to help you...{Cut to Strong Mad's room. Strong Mad and Strong Bad, now complete again, are still coddling each other}...I think. {Cut back} Come on, everyone!

{Everyone else begins to move out. As they advance, there is a portal in the distance.}

JOSEPH: What the? Everyone, slow down!

{The group comes to a halt near the portal. As they get closer, they can see into it, as it reveals the Bonus Stage Universe.}

JOSEPH: What the?

{Joseph slowly brings his hand near the portal. As soon as it gets too close, he gets sucked in. Cut to the Bonus Stage Universe; as he is falling at great speeds, he is about to land horrifically, but falls softly thereafter.}

JOSEPH: Nuts. What the hell?

{Joseph looks up, and the portal is still there.}

JOSEPH: Hey, guys! The portal is open! Just uh, watch that last step. It's a doozy.

{The team slowly falls in or floats down, whatever their preference.}

JOSEPH: So this is the Bonus Stage Universe.

{Phil Argus enters.}

PHIL: Oh, HELL no. You all need to leave now. It's bad enough that we have to put up with that doomsday device hanging in the sky. We don't need tourists now!

JOSEPH: What do you mea-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! {Joseph looks up to see the giant doomsday device Noxigar created staring right down at the planet.} What happened?

PHIL: We were going to blame Evil, town source know, Evil, but we can't find him anywhere. It doesn't look like it's going to get fired anytime soon...

JOSEPH: That doesn't mean we can just let it hang there in the sky! We have to do something about it.

PHIL: Aw, yeah! We should totally go Fooly Cooly on that thing's mechanical ass.

JOSEPH: Yeah, sure...don't you have any friends to help us?

PHIL: No. Everyone else is pretty much useless, except Joel of course...but he's also freaking stupid.

JOSEPH: Trust me, we're probably going to need all the help we can get. Where is he?

PHIL: That is also a good question...I guess I just didn't think too much about it because, well, I hate him. But if he's not under careful supervision he'll probably do something improbably retarded. Maybe I should look for him. {Phil searches around the area for a few minutes, before spotting Joel across the road, talking to a strange-looking man.} Ah. There he is. ..Who the hell is he talking to?

JOSEPH: Friend of his, maybe?

{Joseph walks over.}

JOSEPH: Hey! You two.

{Joel turns around}

JOEL: Oh hey! Another guy. {Turns to the man.} Is he with you?

???: {Stares at Joseph for a few seconds, observing his appearance.} ..No. I can't really say that he is. Hm. Well, thank you for your time.. What was your name again?

JOEL: Joel. Joel Dawson.

???: Right. Thank you, Mr. Dawson. {Turns back to face Joseph.} So, who might you be?

JOSEPH: Just me Joe. You're not from around here either, are you?

???: You got that right. {Smirks} What gave it away?

JOSEPH: The weaponry and the fact that you don't know anybody around here, and vice versa. I assume you're looking to take down that thing in the sky.

{Joseph extends his hand outward.}

JOSEPH: Well, so are we, and we'd be happy to have you.

???: That's a bit of a risky move, don't you think? We've only just met, you don't know my name, and you're already accepting me into your team? For all you know, I could've been a spy planted by the enemy to follow you around. Or even kill you. I'm just saying.

JOSEPH: I have this knack for reading into people further than some can with just a simple stare. I can tell that you wouldn't step that far out of line. Now, are you really going to leave me hanging?

REMOLAY: I have this knack for killing people. You step out of line I maim you. Shake his hand already.

JOSEPH: You're really good at killing all right; KILLING THE MOOD. Now get out of here, you.

REMOLAY: Oy, I haven't killed anything in days, I'm tense here. {goes and stands guard, hoping for a fight}

JOSEPH: You'll have to excuse my friend. He's just a tad wound up. We just came from a tough confrontation, against some Nobodies.

???: Nobodies? {His eyes widen at this word.} Ha. So we really are against the same enemy. {Grabs Joseph's hand.} The name is Jacques DuFour, and I'm a bounty hunter. I've been tracking this man down for days now, hopping from universe to universe, just to get information on him. {Looks up at the Doomsday device} I would've been here sooner, but I was caught up trying to fix the "No More Heroes" universe. I managed to save a number of people before the Nobodies took over completely. I moved them over to the Pokemon universe temporarily.

{Joseph randomly Style Changes into a flannel shirt.}

JOSEPH: Sorry. That happens sometimes. {shakes hands with Jacques, then politely lets go.} We just came from the Homestar Runner Universe. That place was practically swarmed, but we're certain we've got it under control now. Our friend Chaos is also helping us, but we don't know where he lands.

JACQUES: Before I left, I managed to find out where Noxigar was next headed by talking to this woman from the No More Heroes universe who saw the whole thing happen for herself. Weird lady, she was. She called herself "Bad Girl". Nonetheless, she was at least helpful.

JOSEPH: Let's deal with blowing that thing up first. He'll probably be there for a while.

JACQUES: Right. So, how do we get in?

JOSEPH: It's probably floating in space. The only other way we'd be able to get in is to climb through the cannon and hope it doesn't fire while we go up. Unless somebody here has a spaceship.

{Phil walks over.}

PHIL: We did use a spaceship for two seasons, but Joel probably already disassembled it. Did you know that most spaceships are just gum and toothpicks on the inside?

JOSEPH: The likelihood of that being true seems, well, retarded.

PHIL: Yeah, well, so is Joel.

JACQUES: Well, we could try and see if it still works.. I mean, if it isn't already disassembled.

PHIL: I bet you can get him to fix it.

JACQUES: Really?

JOEL: He's right. I'm an inventor! {Grins}

JACQUES: That's good to hear, then.

JOSEPH: Do you need any supplies?

JOEL: Umm... More gum and toothpicks?

{Phil groans and facepalms at this. Pan to the doomsday device, as it arms itself, ready to attack the Bonus Stage Universe, then back to Phil moaning and groaning.}

JOSEPH: You know, I wonder why-

{Phil is still groaning. Joseph punches him and he slides off the screen.}

JOSEPH: You know, I wonder why Noxigar would want to destroy this universe.

JACQUES: He has a personal dislike for this universe, that's why. It's a selfish kind of thinking, to be honest.

{Cut: Noxigar drawing in his sketchbook the doomsday device shooting the Bonus Stage universe.}

NOXIGAR: This is the distraction tactic. Anyone who watched the rubbish, like me, would know well that the entire universe is a simulation of which can be unplugged.

{Noxigar opens a corridor of darkness.}

NOXIGAR: To the plug of this simulation!

{Noxigar goes to the simulation's central network. He shrugs, causing Berserker and Viking Nobodies to come forth. Noises can be heard from above as Tannenbaum is crawling along the ceiling.}

TANNENBAUM: Now now, let's not be too brash. If you pull that plug, then you bring the opposition right to you.

{Noxigar use corridor of darkness to get back, while the Nobodies pull the plug.}

NOXIGAR: Me? I'ma go play StarCraft 2 while my Nobodies toy with these "heroes". {Noxigar leaves. Psycho Mantis facepalms.}

PSYCHO MANTIS: ...Tell me again, Tannenbaum.. Why did I leave FOXHOUND for this?

TANNENBAUM: Because fate has other plans for you.

{Tannenbaum falls and lands like a cat.}

TANNENBAUM: He is weak and fails to understand that if he did that then he'd pull the rebels right out in front of him. The smartest thing he's done so far is left.

{Tannenbaum stops of of the Berserkers. As it prepares to reach for it's sword, Tannenbaum gives his toothy smile.}

TANNENBAUM: I suggest looking away now.

{Psycho Mantis looks away. Awful noises and splattering can be heard. Tannenbaum walks up with silvery-looking fluid all over him, which he wipes off.}

TANNENBAUM: I'll deal with the rest in the moment. Now it's time for what I promised you;Great amounts of power. I trust you'll know what to do with it.

PSYCHO MANTIS: Kill Noxigar, stay for a while, kill a few innocents, then go back to my home universe?

TANNENBAUM: If you think it's that easy. You may find that it's not that easy, or perhaps you might change your outlook on these things later. Until then, you know what you must do.

{Tannenbaum's gem turns purple and his hands begin to glow.}

TANNENBAUM: Now stand still, I have to aim and shoot the power, unless you want me to do it the long and drawn out way.

PSYCHO MANTIS: Long and drawn out way? ..In fact, what exactly /is/ this power anyway? Is it an amplification of my current powers, or a whole new set?

TANNENBAUM: For you, it's a little of both. This will infuse you with Void Cells, raw Void energy that will give you entropic powers and enhanced telekinetics. You'll be able to do a myriad of things, including sending objects to The Void, though that's a rather high-end power, itself.

PSYCHO MANTIS: Ah, that's cool then. Because I would not be able to bare it if I were anything other than "Psycho" Mantis.

TANNENBAUM: Are you ready?

PSYCHO MANTIS: ...I guess so. Hit me, Doc!

{Tannenbaum prepares to hit him with the energy. Cut to Joseph and the group, now with Jacques, as the E-Ship is getting fixed.}

JOSEPH: This is going pretty well so far. Given everything else that's happened.

JACQUES: Agreed. I've seen much worse happen.

JOSEPH: So, how should we go about disabling that...thing?

JACQUES: We could try going inside it, and destroying it from the inside.

REMOLAY: If that is the decided plan, I would like to volunteer for that mission.

JOSEPH: That's a little drastic, isn't it?

REMOLAY: It's also very destructive {sighs} Can't I have a little fun? Remadin lets me destroy more than this.

{Cut: Noxigar in Glagitar. He monitors the asteroid layers of all the stars being mined.}

NOXIGAR: Tannenbaum's mentioning of an inside job... was he referring to Psycho Mantis? I can't let myself fall to treachery, so I might want to prepare something.

{Noxigar draws in the sketchbook again. He then remembers a flashback of drawing on Zexion's lexicon because he hardly ever used it. After drawing a new universe consisting of death traps, he places it behind the doomsday device, and opens a corridor of darkness to the end of the "Maze World". He also lets the Doomsday Device fire on the Bonus Stage universe characters, sighing.}

NOXIGAR: I'll steer clear of Glagitar until I've shown my usefulness to Tannenbaum. My Nobodies will hopefully be done mining those asteroid layers and then those stars can be identified and maybe used as part of a defense mechanism. Right now, I'll have to see about destroying more worlds, the Xigbar way. Let's start with the South Park universe, since my doomsday device will distract the "heroes" long enough for me to move on to other worlds long before they care.

{Noxigar opens yet another corridor of darkness, to the South Park universe. He sees the four main characters. Noticing and glaring at Kenny, and outright kills him with the Eternal Flames.}

KYLE: Oh my god, you killed Kenny! You-

{Noxigar turns Kenny into a Nobody, frightening the denizens of the universe already. He then looks at Kyle.}

NOXIGAR: Sorry, had to get your attention through use of an old, unfunny running gag your universe is known for.

KYLE: What the hell, man?

NOXIGAR: My main concern is destroying Cartman. His anti-Semitism reeks of awful, don't you agree? That, and he's always the troublemaker for most cases.

{Kyle pauses for a moment. Then, he nods.}

KYLE: Yeah, I hate Cartman just as much as anybody here does. I guess teaming up temporarily to dispose of him is the best thing to do. Just, don't turn me into whatever Kenny is now, please.

NOXIGAR: Sheesh, being a Nobody isn't so bad.

{Noxigar shows that Kenny is intact, except for his hoodie being black instead of orange.}

KENNY: {muffled}

STAN: Whoa, dude! What's up with you?

KENNY: {He starts speaking in muffled speech again, all while making suggestive signs with his hands. At the end of this, he giggles.}

STAN: {Visibly shocked} ...Dude.

KYLE: Okay, Kenny. We get it, you're intact. Now who here agrees with me that Cartman is a stupid dick to everyone and needs to be punished for it?

{All raise their hands.}

KYLE: Good, good. Let's go and give him the punishment he's been due for since forever.

{Kyle, Stan, and Kenny all leave. Noxigar follows, summoning Nobodies left and right to help. Most are Dancer Nobodies, with a few Beserker Nobodies}

KYLE: Dude, how are they going to help at all?

NOXIGAR: Simple, turn Cartman into a Dusk. That's the lowest rank of Nobody ever created.

KYLE: Oh. I don't get it.

{Noxigar lectures on the concept of a Nobody as he usually does, since no one truly cares anymore to hear the entire thing.}

KYLE: Oh. I still don't get it, but I'll follow through as this means one less selfish prick ruining a universe you sorta deem unworthy because of this person alone.

NOXIGAR: I think you have the gist of my plans down.

KYLE: Just, heh, can we visit Glagitar after you're done with this?

NOXIGAR: Well, you, Kenny, and Stan can.

KYLE: Fair enough. Everyone else is a towel or other wet blanket. Anyway, let's get this over with!

{A montage ensues of Noxigar, Kyle, Kenny, and Stan all evacuating everyone except Cartman and Towely out of the South Park universe and into Glagitar. Noxigar draws an entire two floors devoted to the South Park cast.}

NOXIGAR: Now to destroy Cartman and this universe. I promise all of you a new utopia of which to live in.

KYLE: What? How is that agreeable terms? Eliminate Towely also!

{Towely and Cartman try to attack Noxigar with their fists. Noxigar slices Towely in half using Skysplitter, and kicks Cartman down to the ground. He turns Cartman into a Dusk, and watches as Towely dies.}

KYLE: Better, I guess. Let's go, and then you can create a less suck-filled universe!

{Noxigar opens a corridor of darkness and finishes the evacuation. Noxigar then designs a wintry Canada-esque universe and places all the other South Park characters there, then exits the corridor and eliminates the original South Park universe. In the while, the other South Park characters joyously celebrate by drinking themselves to liver failure. Noxigar laughs at all of this, then the screen pauses.}

???: This is the guy my brother Jacques is after? What a bloody joke. I might as well use my lycanthropy to make mincemeat of this venomancer.

{Cut to the Bonus Stage Universe. The e-Ship is all repaired and everyone is just about ready to go, but as soon as they are ready to get in, the device turns on and begins with a low hum.}

JOSEPH: Oh, crap. We need to gun it. Everyone hop in.

HOMSAR: Let's go inside.

DiZ: How are you able to still talk coherently?

HOMSAR: I tread a line of red, Candy Wrapper.

DiZ: I owe you a Coke, don't I?

NAMINE: Forget the Coke, we have to turn the doomsday device off!

{Everyone gets in the E-Ship. Remolay unsheathes his swords to prepare.}

JOSEPH: Hold it there. I'm not letting you kill yourself. Besides, there's no point behind this death.

DiZ: I don't think suicide is what he was contemplating.

REMOLAY: Yeah, you got it all wrong, We're trying to destroy this weapon thing, right?

JOSEPH: We're heading into space. The vacuum. With no air. Without oxygen tanks. How can he live?

REMOLAY: How does anything happen here? The real world, however you may see it, has no hold on this reality.

DiZ: Did you not prepare the ship with oxygen tanks, Joel?

JOEL: Well, Oxygen is just a formality. Aren't you guys aliens anyways?

REMOLAY: Well, I'm not sure about {points at Homsar} that thing, but I'm an elf. Look it up.

JOEL: Elf, Alien, same thing. Now go outside already.

{Homsar goes outside, floating.}

HOMSAR: This contraption does not seem to have any apparent means of an off-switch, but I'm sure there is one.

JOSEPH: {From inside} Off switch? I don't think we were going to go for that. I doubt Remolay has the patience for such things.

REMOLAY: You got that right. {Remolay goes outside and floats toward the gun. He hits it with his sword and a clang is heard} I think I made a scratch!

{Joseph can see a visible gash in the cannon.}

JOSEPH: I guess we can inflict maximum damage before our descent...

{Joseph comes outside as they exceed the stratosphere. He pulls out his sword, formerly the broken one, and tosses it at the barrel of the cannon. It sinks in pulls back out.}

JOSEPH: Aha! Taste my warped metal vengeance! Hey guys, let us know when the air content gets too thin, I'm going to help Remolay out here.

{Cut back to the inside.}

PHIL: Those two are really stupid, aren't they.

JACQUES: I can tell that their hearts are in the right place though. At the rate we're going, we might possibly have a chance of destroying it.. Before next year, if we're lucky.

{Joel look out at Joseph and Remolay damaging the machine}

JOEL: They seem to be doing pretty good so far.

JACQUES: I would go out and help them, but bullets aren't going to do a whole lot of good out in space. Say, this spaceship must have a laser cannon or two itself, right?

JOEL: What do you think this is, a Science Fiction story?

JACQUES: We're in space, and we're a small force of rebels and misfits trying to destroy a gigantic device that destroys planets. The only thing we're really missing are two quirky comic-relief robots.

JOEL: And your point is?

JACQUES: I wouldn't really be that surprised if this turned out to be a science ficion.

{A starship intentionally crashes into the doomsday device, destroying many of the cannons. Coming out of the fire is an astronaut suit with audible howls coming from the stereo on the E-Ship.}

OIRACUL: Miss me, bro? Might as well save you some time.

DiZ: Hmm? What exactly are you doing?

OIRACUL: Helping you destroy this weird contraption.

NAMINE: Just... who are you?

OIRACUL: Oiracul DuFour, Jacques' younger brother and assistant to a majority of his bounties. Say, why don't we split the money 60-40 this time, your way? Noxigar really isn't worth the amount of money others have offered.

NAMINE: ...bounty? Aw, hell, what's he gotten himself into?

OIRACUL: Some mercenaries are having a hard time dealing with his world purges, so money was placed to capture him. How he's even remotely able to evade most of them is a surprise.

DiZ: We'll help with the bounty.

OIRACUL: Nah. Generally I split the money 70-30 my way, since I do Jacques a lot of favors throughout his missions.

JACQUES: {Visibly dismayed} I.. I.. DAMN IT!! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! {To himself} How the hell did he find me? ..How the hell does he keep finding me?

PHIL: Whoa, dude.. Calm down.


JOEL: ...Oh! I get it now! {Grins} Hey Phil, you know when he was talking about us being in a spaceship and whatnot?

PHIL: Um.. Yeah?

JOEL: He was comparing it to Star Wars! And when he said Solo-..

{Phil slaps Joel.}

PHIL: I know.

JOEL: ..Oh.

JACQUES: And now he's come back to "assist" me on this mission as well.

PHIL: It can't be that bad. He's helping you.

JACQUES: Most of his "help" just involves him doing a few things that I am perfectly capable of at the start, only as an excuse to take the most out of my pay.

PHIL: ...Ouch. That's.. bad, man.

OIRACUL: Excuse? The first time we split the money I bought you a new rifle! Your old one had a piss-poor firing mechanism which made it obsolete! Oh, and let's not forget those times that your mercenary "buddies" left you for dead and I paid for your stay in hospitals!

{Oiracul points at Maze World.}

OIRACUL: There's where Noxigar is. He has it set up as a test of your competence. I could easily go there and take care of him myself, and have all the bounty money. But, I'd rather be a GOOD younger bro and let you have him. No money-split this time, on account of Noxigar not even being reasonably worth that much. You get to have it all and get my help simultaneously.

JACQUES: But I don't even use a rif-... {Slams his palm against his forehead} Ugh... It's not worth the time. So, he's in the maze? Hmm. Wasn't aware that he was expecting me.

OIRACUL: I would have dinner since the moon is about to be full. There's a new world with a rainforest theme I might investigate for you after Maze World is done, though.

{Cut: Noxigar has finished drawing all the traps in the sketchbook and copies them in the Book of Retribution.}

NOXIGAR: Every trap-ridden decoy universe needs decoys. And an illusion of myself to handle these "heroes" while I go to the Street Fighter universe and recruit M. Bison.

{Noxigar starts to draw a copy of himself. Then, a holographic illusion appears.}

HOLOGRAPHIC-NOXIGAR-FROM-THE-FUTURE: No need to duplicate yourself, so long as you have that necklace, right?

NOXIGAR: ...huh?

H.N.F.T.F.: Just go, I'll take care of it. Not like their puny weaponry can cut through time and space, right?

{Noxigar opens a corridor of darkness and heads off, taking the Book of Retribution and Namine's sketchbook.}

H.N.F.T.F.: Good luck, past me. You'll wind up saving the entire omniverse someday.

{Cut back to the E-Ship. Joseph and Remolay are back inside the ship again.}

JOSEPH: Where are you from, stranger? {Joseph winks a series of times at Oiracul}

OIRACUL: Hmm... I'm from the same world as Jacques. However, I have spent my time in the Dungeons and Dragons universe practicing my skills as a cleric and practicing absorption of paladin auras. You do seem familiar. Is your name Joseph, by chance? I don't notice a Technicolor Dreamcoat on you, but still...

{Oiracul offers a werewolf paw to Joseph for handshaking.}

JACQUES: {Looks at the werewolf paw and sighs} ...I wish I were still in my glory days.

REMOLAY: Wait a minute, New guy. While you were in that universe, did you see a guy who looked kinda like me, but greyer, slightly taller, and with long red hair?

OIRACUL: If I had seen him, I probably ran him over with the ship. So no.

REMOLAY: Dammit. Are you absolutely certain? I need to find my brother. I think I'm growing soft without him around.

JACQUES: You can borrow mine until we find yours. ...Oh hell, I'm a generous man. You can keep him even after that. You could become a band of brothers.. The Three Musketeers. {Urges closer to Remolay and whispers} Because I will do anything to get this guy off my tail.

REMOLAY: {Whispers back} Brotherhood is an important thing, my french ally. You can never get rid of family, and you never really want to. Once you do lose them, you want them back more than anything, I know, I've lost Remadin.

JACQUES: It's a somewhat different thing when you're the one intentionally trying to get lost, keep in mind.

{Oiracul sighs}

OIRACUL: I'll just mosey on over to the rainforest planet once this Maze World stuff blows over.

JACQUES: Good. Say, has the doomsday device been destroyed yet? Because I'm still waiting for the chance to kill Noxigar.

OIRACUL: I think we've disabled it enough where someone will figure out the offswitch. Say, where's Homsar?

{Homsar floats with several bombs attached to his shoes. His shoes slowly float off, and land on the doomsday device, causing the device to detonate.}

HOMSAR: The finishing touches are added, boss.

{Pan to DiZ with a thumbs-up hand gesture, then back at Homsar.}

JOSEPH: Wait, aren't we going to be caught in the-

{The ship is caught in the blast radius and sent flying back down to the ground.}


PHIL: Dammit you guys, that was almost as dumb of an idea as anything Joel's said!

JOEL: Hey, nobody takes me thunder. e-Ship, execute drastic measure!

{The e-Ship shoots the engine room and the bay out of the back, which then deploys a parachute, as the rest veers off and crashes into the ground.}

JOEL: See, I thought ahead.

PHIL: Yeah, but why are we still in the-

{everyone smacks into the floor.}

PHIL: Fine, you're not as dumb as you were 89 episodes ago.

JOSEPH: Geez, that was a close call.

JACQUES: Ugh, remind me why I decided to group with you all again?

{Joseph points out the window to the giant exploding mass that once was the doomsday device.}

JACQUES: ...Touche.

{A hologram of Noxigar appears.}

H.N.F.T.F.: I'm Holographic Noxigar...From the Future!

PHIL: That's my joke and you know it!

H.N.F.T.F.: Silence, fool! I see you have destroyed my doomsday device? Impressive.

OIRACUL: Not as impressive as Jacques' foot is going to be going through your bowels.

{The hologram cackles madly.}

H.N.F.T.F.: I still have an a-MAZE-ing feat of wonder which replaces said doomsday device. Inside this feat of wonder is, you guessed it, a-MAZE-ing stuff.

OIRACUL: Stop using puns; start using common sense and some logic while you're at it.

H.N.F.T.F.: Oh, and Namine. As a present before Valentine's Day to make that holiday useless and, well, not all heart, I decided to give you the Samurai Nobodies, since I don't want them around. That, and some new Nobodies make them obsolete.

NAMINE: {sarcastically} Great, so you're giving me an army of Nobodies to fight your army of Nobodies. Real genius, Noxigar.

HOMSAR: Hello, Romeo. Did the Poisoner offer a wedding cake for Juliet?

DiZ: Oh shit. Homsar stopped making sense completely.

H.N.F.T.F.: Nah, just my usual Nobody army is growing too big and I thought I'd do right by you.

NAMINE: Hey, Joel. Is it possible for you to trace where the hologram generated from originally?

JOEL: {Stares at Namine with a blank face for a few seconds, before bursting a great big grin.} ...OF COURSE I CAN! {Thumbs up}

{A hologram of Chaos in his new outfit appears next to the Noxigar hologram. He begins to make some sort of audible noise, but then he notices the Noxigar hologram and punches it in the face, hologram style. The Noxigar hologram is on the ground, rubbing his new bruise.}

CHAOS: Guys, I've touched down in another universe. I think I'm going to be here a while with this one.

JOSEPH: Where'd you land?

{Cut to Chaos surrounded by Super Mario Bros. Motif. He looks upward, and the scene pans up to show a large castle.}

CHAOS: I think I'm in the Mario Universe...

{Cut back.}

JOSEPH: Oh, sweet! We're going to be hopping universes soon, maybe we'll meet up there!

CHAOS: That's a big if. Deal with Holo-Noxigar for now. I'm going to move on here. 'K?

JOSEPH: Sure. See you.

{The Chaos hologram prepares to kick Noxigar again, but he fades out before the hit lands.}

H.N.F.T.F.: Heh, good luck in Maze World. I designed it to test you guys.

{Cut: Noxigar in the Street Fighter universe.}

NOXIGAR: Hmm... perhaps this universe can wait. I really ought to go for the Mario universe like Psycho Mantis said to earlier. Before I had other plans.

{Noxigar opens yet another corridor of darkness and heads on over to the Mario universe, over at Bowser's Castle. He walks around, then proceeds to find Bowser sitting at his throne.}

BOWSER: Well, well, what do we have here?

NOXIGAR: Just a fan of you.

BOWSER: Woah, really?

NOXIGAR: Yeah. I was hoping to get you an autograph, and, you know, get you and Princess Peach married already.

{Bowser smiles.}

BOWSER: That, my good sir, is the nicest thing anyone in this universe has said to me.

NOXIGAR: I'm a foreigner wanting to do some awesome stuff.

BOWSER: Foreigner? Like "Cold as Ice" Foreigner?

NOXIGAR: Sure, let's go with that.

{Noxigar takes out Frozen Pride and wears it on his left sleeve.}

NOXIGAR: Alright, let's go find Mario and turn his friends into Nobodies. Or at least Mushroom Heartless; those will be a pain to deal with.

BOWSER: I don't understand a lick of what you said. Try speaking in Koopa, it's the only language I underst-

NOXIGAR: No. You're speaking English to me right now, you're being contradictory.

BOWSER: Whatever. Let's go and propose to the princess.

{Bowser and Noxigar step out of Bowser's Castle, and make their way to the Toadstool Castle. They then barge in, disregarding all of the Toadstool civilians trying to block their way.}

BOWSER: Princess Peach! I have a diplomatic idea and it involves you and me.

{Peach steps outside.}

PEACH: What happens to be the case this time?

{Bowser takes out a wedding ring and kneels on one leg.}

BOWSER: Will you marry me?

{Peach looks at Bowser oddly, then shrugs}

PEACH: Either you or Mario. And you are more charismatic at times. So yes.

{Peach takes the ring from Bowser and places it on her right hand. She and Bowser then walk back to Bowser's Castle together.}

NOXIGAR: Mission accomplished. Now Mario will have a bringer of "bad news" and he will try to intervene. That, or he'll be pissed enough where his rage will consume him, thus allowing for a Heartless, thereby a Nobody will accompany him. I hope there's a decent Nobody out of that annoying red plumber.

{Chaos walks around the universe for a while until he sees something on the horizon.}

CHAOS: What in the...

{Chaos attempts to peer closer at the mystery object. It appears to be candy red.}

CHAOS: What is going on here?

{Chaos closes one of his eyes. He focuses and can see the figure better.}

CHAOS: That's better. Wait, it looks like it's getting closer...

{as the figure gets closer, it begins to look more like Tannenbaum.}

CHAOS: Oh son of a-

{Tannenbaum gets up close to Chaos and punches him out. As Chaos falls to the ground, the screen goes black.}