(even if you aren't vegan)


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Noxigar and Psycho Mantis explore the Void, our heroes liberate the new land they're on, and one familiar face begins a journey he won't soon forget.


{Noxigar goes through the corridor first, then shrugs}

NOXIGAR: Making universes entirely from scratch will help people prosper. However, something about this ordeal seems strange. Now... if I were to clone myself, where would I go?

{Noxigar looks around, and finds a trinket wrapped in a string used for a necklace. The number "13" is on it}

NOXIGAR: Strangely enough, I feel this will help. However...

{Noxigar looks around to see if Psycho Mantis is present. He shrugs after a few minutes of no response, and continues walking.}

NOXIGAR: Now, if I were a captive held in a world, where would I be?

{Noxigar sends out two Viking Nobodies from the No More Heroes universe to aid him in the snap of a sleeve. He sees a path towards a facility, and approaches it. He then looks at the trinket. A hologram of Noxigar himself appears.}

HOLO-NOXIGAR-FROM-THE-FUTURE: Hello there, past me. You're probably wondering what's up with the necklace. So, I'm here to tell you that going into that facility in the Void will deprive you of universe fragments to use in order to reconstruct universes as you see fit. So, don't free the person in the Void unless he offers a very legitimate reason. In doing this I willingly defy temporal setbacks. I gotta go and colonize more EMPTY planets. You'll have a Nobody army fairly soon.

{The hologram dissipates.}

NOXIGAR: ...Interesting?

{He shrugs, and continues walking. Psycho Mantis appears in front of Noxigar from nowhere.}

PSYCHO MANTIS: Oh, I am so sorry about that. I got caught up.

{A voice echoes from afar but sounds fairly close, as nobody is around.}

???: You made it.

PSYCHO MANTIS: Yes. Where exactly are you, anyway?

???: North going north-east. But be careful. This is the low tide in terms of security, but there's still some frighteningly powerful things patrolling the area. Caution is a must.

PSYCHO MANTIS: So this is a stealth mission, then?

???: 90%. There's one particular guard that may be able to see through any amount of cover you grant him, but he's last, so I expect you'll have thought of something in time.

PSYCHO MANTIS: Aha. I see.. So Stealth Camo will work for most of the time?

???: Yes. If you can think of a way to disable the sight of the last guard, then you'll be fine. You also won't miss him when you see him. He only has one eye.

{Noxigar pauses for a moment, then imagines the cyclops guard. If a sight-hindering cloud were thrown, that would be enough for Mantis and Noxi to escape. However, he does remember the hologram's words.}

NOXIGAR: After this, I will make a weapons factory as part of the rainforest universe. In fact, before we do this...

{Noxigar takes out a sketchbook. In the place of the Kingdom Hearts universe is him drawing a rainforest world with not only a Rainforest Cafe, but a weapons factory, exotic animals that grow their own crops and have more sentience, and a huge hospital to aid the sick.}

NOXIGAR: I needed to add a weapons factory so this universe could defend itself from invaders. That, and it acts as a weapons colony in addition to having its own governmental autonomy otherwise.

PSYCHO MANTIS: {Eyetwitch} Oh yes... Excellent plan you have going there, Noxigar. Any other "ingenious" plans?

???: He's not a cyclops per-se, he's just missing an eye after a run-in with, well, me. Not to brag or anything. Now go on and good luck.

{Cut to Joseph, back in the field, with Cheat Slash. Joseph himself is fairly battered, but his clothing doesn't show any signs of damage or struggle.}

JOSEPH: Come on, why won't you die?

REMOLAY: {offscreen} You aren't hitting him where it hurts!

{Remolay Jumps out with a katana aimed towards where Cheat Slash's heart should be. The sword does little damage.}

REMOLAY: Heartless... right. {to Joseph} Name's Remolay, I'm here to help beat this thing down. Can you still fight?

JOSEPH: Yeah, I can go a few more rounds. But where did you come from?

REMOLAY: I wander looking for challenges. There's a fight going on here, I can smell it a mile away along with the burning wreckage. Heartless annoy me more than you do. I'll explain more later, this thing may not wait any longer.

{Remolay pulls out his second sword and runs toward Cheat Slash.}

JOSEPH: Hey, don't call me annoying when you have the gumption to try and steal my kill!

{Joseph raises his swords above his head and leaps into the air. Cheat-Slash melts the sword with his breath, grinning at his recently-discovered boon.}

JOSEPH: Oh no, you didn't. That's it. I thought maybe you deserved to have a shred of decency and dignity left, but now I'm revoking it.

{Joseph sheathes his swords and focuses for a moment. His already perfect clothing begins to glow, and transform. The result turns into a red satin blazer with a gold pin on it.}

JOSEPH: Let's see you try and hit me now.

{Remolay stares in awe.}

REMOLAY: Woah, you can transform? I wonder if I can.

{Remolay sheathes his swords and focuses. Nothing happens. Remolay shrugs and stabs at Cheat-Slash}

JOSEPH: It's not a transformation, it's Style Change.

{Joseph covers his fist in large amounts of energy, and then uses it to shoot a barrage of crystals at Cheat Slash.}

JOSEPH: I can have 3 power sources: Psi, Dark, and Bio. This is the Psi Style. It enhances speed and gives me Psionic capabilities. The other two also augment their own attributes and give me additional powers.

REMOLAY: Dang, all I got are these two fine sharp pieces of Japanese weaponry. Maybe I should have studied magic.

{Remolay slashes at Cheat Slash's head with both swords, Grunting in the process}

JOSEPH: Come now, you've got plenty of combat panache. I may be a Jack of All Trades, but I've mastered very little.

{Joseph uses more channeled energy to surround his fists, and he begins furiously pounding Cheat Slash. All the hits connect, but only about half seem to do any effect.}

JOSEPH: Though I have to admit, this thing is particularly good at absorbing the weaker blows.

{Cheat-Slash fire-roars again, and runs off in surrender. Cut: Strong Sad is being chased by Namine, DiZ, and Homsar}

HOMSAR: Strong Sad, is there any way we can come to a more peaceful agreeement? I do believe it would make more sense.

STRONG SAD: Right now if you destroy the Bonus Stage universe then I will talk of treaties. Otherwise, no!

DiZ: Destroy? How do we destroy an entire universe? Does Noxigar really expect us to go to that universe and cream it?

HOMSAR: Perhaps his regard for that universe is so low he expects amateur bombers to do the job while he tends to what he deems to be "superior" universes. This explains Strong Sad's assignment being transferred from him to us in a sense.

DiZ: ...amateur? I put time and effort into blowing myself up, being surrounded by Nobodies all day every day. I always come back, though.

HOMSAR: There's this thing known as a running gag character. You'd happen to be said character.

{Cut: Noxigar. He draws another universe. This time, it is a Viking and Beserker Nobody base replacing the Grand Theft Auto universe.}

NOXIGAR: This base will house the Viking and Beserker Nobodies when we need to conquer any new lands and need heavy troops. They get all the medical boons they need so they can get back into battle at any moment of which they are mortally wounded, and this will be Psycho Mantis' army of Vikings and Beserkers. That is, if he wants to.

{Noxigar continues onward, and finds the first guard, who is wielding three machetes, one held using its teeth. Psycho Mantis activates his camouflage and turns invisible.}

PSYCHO MANTIS: Noxigar, you look like a perfectly able man. Much more skilled than this guy. He's mincemeat compared to you. And I really don't want to get in your way either. So I'm just going to go on ahead while you tackle these guys. Okay, see ya. {Flies past the first guard and goes down the path by himself.}

???: There's only four of them. And the first two are easily susceptible to your poisons. The third one has no nose or mouth, and the last one is just generally immune to poisons. You could easily finish off these two without causing a commotion.

{Noxigar takes out a vial of poison}

NOXIGAR: Okay then. I shall dismantle the first two with poisons.

{Noxigar throws the vial, paralyzing the first guard. He runs off before the guard notices his inability to move. He then sees the 2nd guard, and takes out a different vial, that containing a thick gas which, while not devouring him, makes the 2nd guard have trouble breathing. The third guard's area is where Noxigar decides to take a breather}

NOXIGAR: Okay... that's two vials used.

{Noxigar draws a sketch of one of the other universes being replaced with a chemistry-themed planet. The idea behind the planet gives Noxigar the reagents he needs to hold different poisons and chemicals of differing sorts, some healing and some destruction.}

NOXIGAR: This universe will host my chemicals, be they for healing or be they for destruction. Then I sell these chemicals to other universes and achieve money from them, all the while watching universes go at each other should they war with one another. Economically, my plan(et) is foolproof.

{Cut back to Diz, Homsar, and Namine. They have Strong Sad cornered.}

NAMINE: We need to follow Noxigar's tracks...perhaps talk of a more rational solution to Wikihood's temporal self-destruction!

STRONG SAD: What could be more rational than eliminating useless planets?

DiZ: Perhaps if you told us where Noxigar was last headed, and then we'd be able to solve the problem ourselves. In return, we will demolish the Bonus Stage universe, since you seem so unwavering about it.

{DiZ is busy creating a world-destroying bomb akin to the one he used in The World That Never Was}

HOMSAR: I have a bad feeling about this...

{Joseph, who has returned to his original outfit, and Remolay enter in.}

JOSEPH: Hold it. We can't do that. It's not right to do those things. Do you know what kinds of awful things happen when you leave holes in the omniverse?

HOMSAR: Somehow it feels like those holes are being patched... or maybe it's just that replica of a sketchbook.

{Homsar approaches a hologram of Noxigar that holds a sketchbook, demonstrating different worlds that replaced the ones he destroyed, via illustrations thereof.}

DiZ: Holograms that appear out of nowhere? Bizarre, if anything...

CHAOS: {scratchy} It doesn't help that he's manufacturing artifical universes.

{A shaky and silhouette hologram of Chaos appears, though the eyes are still visible.}

CHAOS: And what's wrong with holograms out of nowhere?

DiZ: Nothing. 'Twas just surprising, that's all.

CHAOS: Anyways, Noxigar is tearing holes in temporal space. The mass at the center of the omniverse, The Void, reacts to that. there are awful things that cause awful situations in The Void, and it creates many leaks, opportunities for other beings to enter. Leaks that allow things like Tannenbaum to get out.

HOMSAR: Ah, so the universes Noxigar's creating... he's creating them to patch those holes in temporal space, or so it is implied.

DiZ: Now that you make more sense, Homsar, I find you a more admirable fellow.

HOMSAR: You can thank the heart-shaped stasis that Noxigar had us in. Still... how he managed to copy Namine's powers with impunity is still something worth asking.

{DiZ shrugs}

DiZ: Perhaps a Nobody does have feelings, yet it takes longer to harness, or some stupid poppycock of that nature.

NAMINE: Eh, the idea of his is still not reasonable.

{The Noxigar hologram shows him drawing in the sketchbook. The illustration is a series of asteroids saying, "I miss you, Namine. Oh, and you too, Chaos."}

CHAOS: Those holes don't help. If even the slightest tear is made, the things in the void may be able to reach out. The Void is a scary place. Or it was, at least. The Eldritch Circle used to rule until there was some sort of intervention many centuries ago. My father used to call it "The Wipe", because it wiped them off of the face of existence and into some other world. One beyond even the reach of the void. All but three of them were transported. Two were sent far away, but one of them was locked within the Void. I fear that if that one reaches out, even to the least suspecting person, that he'll be able to influence them into breaking him out. And then who knows what will happen.

JOSEPH: So what does that mean?

CHAOS: It means you have to get help, stop Noxigar, protect the other universes, and find a way to reverse the damage permanently. You can't just put a bandaid over something like this, and that's all those fake worlds are.

JOSEPH: Right. Guys, I think we should go and look for more people to help us on this world and see if we can't reach others. It looks like they were heading to the Bonus Stage Universe next, so I suggest we try and head there to protect against them. Let's go!

{Jonouchi runs off the screen and through The Field, finally smashing into The Pole. Cut back.}

CHAOS: Idiot. I'll try and meet up with you guys ASAP. Uh, keep him safe, and good luck.

{The figure of Chaos disappears.}

REMOLAY: So, I'm not too big on fixing damage. I'm usually causing it, but I think I can make a special case for this. Is there anywhere special I should go, or should I just blindly follow someone?

{All of a sudden, a loud clang is heard, followed by a thump.}

???: That'll teach ya!

{Casey walks onscreen, sneering behind her. She bumps into Remolay. She then jumps backwards, landing while holding a spanner like a gun, facing Remolay.}

CASEY: Who are ya?

{Joseph walks onscreen holding his head.}

JOSEPH: That damn pole. {Looks up} Who are you? Too late you didn't answer fast enough-INTRUDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR {Joseph won't stop holding his "r".}

CASEY: {lowers her eyelids and arms} Can I hit him with my spanner now.

REMOLAY: {annoyed} Go ahead. Just watch out for his swords.

CASEY: {opens her green-blue purse, puts her spanner away} You coulda just said no. {closes her purse} I'm Casey.

JOSEPH: Just call me Joe. Who are you, and how did you get here?

CASEY: I dunno. {looks to her left.} I just woke up here. I think the {the screen pans to show a slightly obese middle aged man knocked out on the ground, a small pool of blood under his face.} pedo with the broken nose dragged me here. {pans back} Anyways, why d'ya wanna know?

REMOLAY: Well it's not every day that a little girl, {Remolay points at himself} Not much emphasis on little, shows up attacking things with wrenches.

CASEY: I didn't hurt ya, did I?

JOSEPH: Well, where do...or come from?

CASEY: Bittersweet city. Where am I, anyways?

JOSEPH: Homestar Runner Universe. I hate to suggest this, but perhaps your universe was erased by Noxigar. He's our current power-hungry hero turned villain.

REMOLAY: If he destroyed my universe I'm going to kill him. As much as I hate to admit it, I actually like my brother.

CASEY: Alright, then how did 'e guy bring me to an alternate universe?

REMOLAY: Perhaps this is a form of Traverse Town and We got sent here because our universes were destroyed.

CASEY: So this is heaven? ...Kinda dull.

JOSEPH: No, no no, you're still alive and everything. You're either here because you had a purpose and he wanted to keep you safe, so he sent you here, or you somehow had the ability to escape yourself. And that probably means, Remolay, that your brother also probably escaped. We'll have to find out.

CASEY: So I either killed god or am a superhero. Sweet.

JOSEPH: What? No. You don't have to be a superhero, just be really lucky. Better lucky than good, right?

REMOLAY: I'll say, being good sucks. Man, I hope Remadin is alive. We may need his healing at some point.

JOSEPH: Not that kind of good. Now, if you want, you can join us, then we'd be happy to have you, miss.

{a truck is heard in the background}

JOSEPH: Now what?

{Joseph goes outside and sees the truck. Raggon and Raggonix exit.}

JOSEPH: Who goes there?

RAGGONIX: Uh....I'm Raggonix, and this is my bro Raggon. Is there a.... {looks at card} Chaos here?

JOSEPH: There WAS one here, kind of...He was just projecting himself here. He's gone now. Probably off doing something. Why do you need to know?

RAGGON: We were walking down the shore of the Miami beach, when some silver alien-looking dudes popped in, grabbed him, and popped out.

JOSEPH: Wait, what? How did you even get to-oh hell this is the homestar universe why am i questioning that-Look, I think you've got the wrong guy. Or the wrong Aliens.

RAGGONIX: He called Raggon fat. I swear I saw a playing card emblem, like a spade, on the aliens.

JOSEPH: Wait, spade? Well, the Nobodies have a symbol that kinds looks like a spade, if you're you're blind...and sedated. This is all questionable. People are just being picked up left and right. Maybe he's targeting them for a reason. This could be bad. Oh, I hope Chaos is alright. {Cut to, and then pan out from a small monitor. It turns out to be part of a comm-link attached to Chaos' arm.}

CHAOS: Now that that's done, I have to set out myself. I can't believe Noxigar is doing this. I barely escaped the last two universes he destroyed, I don't know if I can keep it up.

{More panning out reveals Chaos is within his hometown of Pandaemonium, outside a large building.}

CHAOS: I probably should've called them first and let them know I'd be back. Oh well.

{Chaos opens the door and enters in. The Grand Foyer is empty, but Chaos walks in and up the staircase.}

CHAOS: The place seems barren. Maybe they're just out.

{Chaos walks down the right hallway and ends up in a whole new looking environment. He continues down the hall and finds a room labeled '1408'.}

CHAOS: My bedroom. Hope it's still got my stuff in it.

{Chaos opens the door to lead into a dark-toned room with a closet, sarcophagus, bed, and chains on the wall. There is dragon paraphernalia everywhere and a few obscure things, such as adorable stuffed animals.}

CHAOS: New epic adventure, NEW EPIC OUTFIT.

{Chaos runs to the closet, which then turns into a giant gaping maw and swallows him. It turns back into a door, and he opens it and jumps out. He emerges with just his underwear and socks on. He holds his dramatic pose as his smile atrophies into an embarassed face. He then covers his undies and shimmies back into the closet.}

CHAOS: {muffled from closet} Let's try that again.

{Chaos emerges in new clothing, with fur lining, a hooded undershirt with gloves that also have fur, and long boots that have the ends of his new pants showing, and his traditional belts.}

CHAOS: That's better. Now I have to...{pulls out sunglasses}...Write my dad a note!

{Pan out, as Chaos is now in front of a very tall door with lots of unique markings on it that reads "T. Malifact" on it. Chaos pulls lout a piece of sticky paper and a pen.}

CHAOS: {with a close up of the note as the words appear} Dear Mom and Dad, came back for a while, you were out or something, so I just popped in. Took an outfit out of my old room, wrote this note, am going to go stop a power-hungry friend from destroying the fabric of existence, probably be back in time for Easter, not like we celebrate it here. If I die then I leave everything to Joseph, my human friend, and wish the rest of my family good wishes forever. May stop back later.}

CHAOS: There. {sticks note on the door} I'm ready to go.

{Chaos walks away. He walks right by a stylized board that reads a note. Zooming in slightly shows a notice for the revocation of Chaos' Heritage, and it is stamped "APPROVED". Cut to the Foyer.}

CHAOS: I wonder where they went. Oh well, I'm probably just delving into nothing. Away!

{Chaos generates a portal and runs into it. He emerges in the rain outside of a large manor house, where all but one light is on.}

CHAOS: Hmm. I wonder where I am now. My comm-link {raises arm} isn't working, probably because of the weather. And it looks like there's a light there. I better see if anyone is inside. Maybe they can help...

{Some kind of music about being alone in the dark rain and seeing a house and heading into it begins to play very softly as Chaos walks forward to the house.}