Wikihood/arc/33

Transcript

{Leotheras and Noxigar arrive from the corridor of darkness to Traverse Town, in Leon's place to battle}

{OOC: Leon and Leo's names are so similar... I'll use Leotheras here}

{OOC: ITS NOT LEOTHERAS GABBLE GABBLE SEISURE}

{OOC: Leonidas?}

{OOC: NO!!!}

SQUALL: Who might you be?

NOXIGAR: No. 0 of Organization XIII. I am here to find Roxas, or at least his sockpuppet Sora. Any knowledge of his whereabouts?

LEO: Hey, have you heard of someone named Seifer?

SQUALL: SEIFER?!.... Rings a bell..

NOXIGAR: He's at the other side of this corridor of darkness.

SQUALL: Oh, great! {runs to corridor of darkness and vanishes}

NOXIGAR: There we go. Now... on to business! We go find that belltower, unleash some Heartless, and Sora will be gullible enough to come here.

LEO: Okay then.

UNKNOWN VOICE: Hold it right there!

NOXIGAR: I think this voice is either Riku, DiZ, or King Mickey. Come on out, unknown guy!

{The person comes out, to show that he is someone in a Robotic Exoskeleton suit, with a Scythe Type weapon. He is wearing a loose fitting robe, and has a helmet, looking similar to a skull.}

????: Greetings. I have no name. I just wanted to meet you, before the impossible happens. Bye now. {Disappears in a flash of smoke.}

LEO: Who the hell was that guy?

NOXIGAR: Beats me.

{Screen darkens}

NOXIGAR: {offscreen} What just happened?

{The lights go on, but Noxigar is in New Bark Town, without Leo.}

NOXIGAR: Hello? Can I get a witness?

ROXAS: {offscreen} Hello, Noxigar. You are trapped in the Gold and Silver remakes. Sephiroth will control you after you take your starter Pokemon. Choose wisely.

{Noxigar goes inside the office}

{Sephiroth appears, but without a face.}

SEPHIFAKE: I have no identity anymore. I gave it to someone else. I am an empty shell of what I was, and what I could of been.

NOXIGAR: Relax. Now let's see here.

{Professor Elm arrives}

ELM: You must be the new trainer, only you're not a hot redhead.

NOXIGAR: That just sounded awkward...

ELM: Just choose your starter.

{Chikorita, Cyndaquil, and Totodile are present, waiting to be chosen.}

NOXIGAR: Totodile's cute, but I already have him in another version. Cyndaquil is overhyped, also cute though, so I'll get a Chikorita and name him Sephiroth in homage of... Sephiroth. Both kinds.

{Noxigar gets a Chikorita, and walks out of the office}

ROXAS: {offscreen} Congratulations, now I will choose Cyndaquil.

{Scatman John appears out of Nowhere}

SCATMAN: I'm the Scatman!

{Cut to Cloak and Dagger in Traverse town.}

DAGGER: I wonder where Noxigar went to...Leo wouldn't mind it if he left for a while...in a ditch in the ground.

{Another Sephifake appears.}

SEPHIFAKE: Hello. I am a small collection of Sephiroth's Memories.

{OOC: If you hadn't known, that explosion screwed him up, big time.}

CLOAK: Do I know you?

{Scatman John Appears out of Nowhere}

SCATMAN: I'm the Invisable Man! {Grabs out a Gun} I'm the Invisable Man! {Scatman John shoots everyone on screen. No one is affected. Sephifake uses a death glare, and Scatman disintergrates.}

{Cut back to Noxigar, now in Violet City.}

NOXIGAR: {sigh} So, this is the Flying-type Gym where my first badge comes from? Since I'm trapped in this game, I might as well listen to whoever controls me in this game.

{Zoom out to view Vivi with a Nintendo DS}

VIVI: This guy who's supposed to be the Pokemon trainer looks suspiciously like a guy we met recently.

SEPHIFAKE: Hello Whoeveryouare. Mind if I borrow some of your memories? I lost mine.

VIVI: Play this game. {Vivi points at his Nintendo DS game}

SEPHIFAKE: Okay. Hey. It's Noxi. My last memory. Hi last memory.

{OOC: The Sephifakes are all of Sephiroth's memories, in physical form.}

NOXIGAR: I kinda need some help here. I'm trapped in I-Want-To-Be-The-Guy difficulty in the Pokemon Gold and Silver remakes. I have a Chikorita that might need my help, too.

SEPHIFAKE: Game Genie.

NOXIGAR: If you have one, please use it!

SEPHIFAKE: Yes. {Plugs it in. All of Noxigar's Pokemon Evolve, Hit Infinite HP, and Go to Level 99.}

{Cut to Traverse Town. Cloak and Dagger are asleep.}

CLOAK: Huh? I'll stab You!

SEPHIFAKE: Stabbing me has no effect. I am only memories.

{Cloak and Dagger Wake up.}

DAGGER: Huh? Who woke us up?

{Sephifake disappears, leaving a memory in the form of a VHS Tape.}

DAGGER: Huh. You'd think he'd at least be a more modern video. Now if only I had-

{A TV appears.}

CLOAK: Ah!

{Cloak and Dagger pop the tape in, then pull out Popcorn and a large soda. It starts. The setting is prehistoric earth. It is seen in first person through Sephiroth's view. He is looking through the bushes, watching a little village.}

SEPHIROTH: Hey, this species looks pretty friendly.

{The people bring in a blue alien like creature in, tied to a wooden pole.}

SEPHIROTH: Wait... what are they doing?

CREATURE: PLEASE! HAVE MERCY ON ME!! YOU KILLED MY FAMILY, NOT ME TOO!!!

{All the people crowd around the creature, and chomping sounds are heard. A few minutes later, they back away, revealing only blood, and bits of bone. The people start roaring.}

SEPHIROTH: Oh god... that's disgusting!

{The creatures hear Sephiroth, and start to walk towards him. It is shown they are the Prehistoric Era Glabal.}

SEPHIROTH: Crap.

{The Glabal start to pounce at him, with sharpened teeth, and then the video ends.}

CLOAK: Wow. These tapes and these random fakes must be connected to a random person! I think I know how to do this.

{Cloak Ad Dagger then enter a montage of running by all of the Sephifakes, stabbing them. When inflicted, they turn into tapes. Cut to Cloak and Dagger by a large pile of tapes.}

DAGGER: Fmph. Couldn't be DVDs...

{Leo comes in.}

LEO: Noxi disappeared, so I came here. {Looks at tapes.} What's with all these tapes.

DAGGER: Some blue-haired guy turned into nothing but countless clones, and one just turned into a tape at random. Turns out, these have memories, so I killed all of the ones here. Now I just need to watch them all and piece them together in the correct order.

{OOC:O BOI WIKIHOOD TEH GAME PUZZIL CHALENG MEENI-GAIM.}

{OOC: Don't worry, I had that in mind when I was making this little sub plot. I'll explain on a random talkpage. By the way, is it okay if I temporarily control Chaos for the flashbacks, or do you want to do it?}

{OOC:Please, go ahead and play me. I don't mind.}

LEO: Let's watch one. {Puts on in. It's in present day Sephiroth's Apartment. Chaos is sitting there, switching channels.}

SEPHIROTH: Boring...

CHAOS: Meh. {Turns TV Off.} ....I know what to do. You fight me.

SEPHIROTH: What?

CHAOS: You heard me right! Come on. I won't totally kick your butt. Much.

SEPHIROTH: Hey! ...Fine. It's settled.

CHAOS: I know just where!

{Cut to Chaos's Battels, at nighttime.}

CHAOS: Melee only!

SEPHIROTH: Fine!

{The two of them exchange blows, to which both are knocked down. The tape ends.}

{OOC: Hope I didn't screw your personality up too much.}

{OOC: Well, if you look at the character's section, then think of how I've acted, you'll see I screwed him up long ago..}

CLOAK: Well. How many more of these do we have to go through?

LEO: I wonder who that guy he was fighting was. {Puts another one in.}

{The setting Episode 1. Sephiroth is inside the caverns of time.}

SEPHIROTH: And if I just go through right now... {Footsteps are heard.} Crap! ..... {Climbs to the ceiling, and it's revealed it's Noxigar and Badstar.}

BADSTAR: Who are they?

NOXIGAR: They're the original 4 creators of Wikihood. The one in red is Eric, and the naive one is Strong Sader. The floating chocolate bar in the jet pack is Technochocolate. I don't know who the other one is, though.

{Sephiroth accidentally kicks part of the cave. A giant rock drops above. Indianna Jones music plays in the background.}

VOICE: I'LL SAVE YE!!!!!!!

{Znex runs at a supersonic speed through a passage into where Badstar and Noxigar are, picks them up and speeds back towards the entrance. Once they're gone, Sephiroth drops off.}

SEPHIROTH: Oops. .....They seem suspicious. I'll stick with them for a while, and spy on them, while they're doing it too... Heheh.. {Walks out. The tape ends.}

{OOC: That all happened in Episode 1. So yeah.}

{OOC: I know, I know. I've read all of the old episodes.}

CLOAK: This guy must lead more of a secretive life than imaginable! {Pulls out popcorn} Popcorn?

LEO: Thanks. {Takes some.} Nice. {Puts another one in. The setting is a Coliseum. Sephiroth is facing a big bulky creature, made of Sand. The announcer is Mario.}

MARIO: MATCH 12: SEPHIROTH VS. MR. SANDMAN!!

SEPHIROTH: I'm gonna win! {Raises fists, to show it's a boxing match.}

MR. SANDMAN: YOU'RE GOING DOWN TINY!!!

SEPHIROTH: Yeah, my fists are gonna be so furious, you're gonna be glass!

MARIO: Ready.... START!!!

{Punchout Match music plays. Sephiroth, and Sandman start to punch each other. Sephiroth then knocks him down.}

MARIO: TKO!!!!

SEPHIROTH: Yes!!!

{Sephiroth enters a boxing montage, with him beating lots of boxers. It then changes to Sephiroth running after a bike. Sandman is in it.}

SEPHIROTH: SANDMAN STOLE MY BIKE!!!

{The tape ends.}

LEO: God, it's like watching Rocky. But no Mr. T.

CLOAK: I pity this fool. Look at how he wastes his life. Next tape.

{Leo, Cloak, and Dagger enter a montage of watching tapes. They are then down to just one.}

DAGGER: Wow. That consumed much less time than I thought it would.

{They put the tape in, but the tape is rejected.}

CLOAK: That's new. we just watched everything else on his life. Why can't we watch this?

LEO: Let's try again. {Puts it in again. It's still rejected.} Darn, it still doesn't work.

{The Exoskeleton Man appears again.}

????: Hmm.. All these tapes look familiar... {Picks one up, and puts it down again.} Weird.

CLOAK: Can we help you?

????: No... Nothing can help me. I can only help others.

CLOAK: Than help us get this tape to work.

????: Let's see. {Grabs TV from the bottom, and flings it up in the air. He then throws the tape in there. It works this time. However, the TV projects a weird image.}

TV: Information Classified. Any further attempts to play this tape will end up with immediate memory blanking.

CLOAK: {Puts on shades} I 'aint afraid of no ghost!

DAGGER: Wrong movie.

CLOAK: Oh.

{The TV Ejects the tape, and sends it far away.}

????: Sorry. Well, see ya. {Flies off.}

CLOAK: Well now what?

LEO: Dunno.

{OOC: And now, the Sephiroth crisis will have to wait for a few episodes.}

{OOC:Dang. Well, back to the Adel Crisis.}

{Cut back to Davros' ship. Adel and Davros are there.}

ADEL: Well, we finally got rid of those useless characters! Now, let's go find Chaos and others. They can't be far in this barren wasteland.

DAVROS: By the way, we have an issue. The First Chaos. he hasn't done anything at all.

ADEL: Blame whoever controls him, and all that fourth wall junk. Not my problem. His men are all probably dead, anyways.

DAVROS: I'll wake him up. {Goes to his bedroom. Everything is quiet, until} HEY! FIRST CHAOS, YOU JERK! GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND HELP US!!! {Beating sounds are heard. He comes back.} Nope.

ADEL: Look, I could really care less what he does. The thing is that I needed his men.

DAVROS: The wraithes, they're fine! Most of our troops survived actually.

ADEL: Then we'll just need to continue our search.

DAVROS: Fine.

{Cut to Alphamon and Van on the wasteland, fighting what appears to be countless amounts of Wraiths and Glabal. Hundreds of Sharothian soldiers rush the Glabal and defeat them. Among them are Sephiroth's relatives.}

ALPHAMON: Hey, is that Lavos?

VAN: Didn't know half of these guys could take up arms. They really don't look it.

FF7 SEPHIROTH: Neither did Sephiroth himself, but, well... Look now.

ALPHAMON: I guess Sharothians are just...adaptable. So, how about we take down some villains?

FF7 SEPHIROTH: YEAH!!

{Suddenly, a Giant Sharothian comes from the sky, and starts to fight.}

FF7 SEPHIROTH: He's Huge!

ALPHAMON: He's teriffic!

VAN: He's...

{Pan out to show it's Sharothi.}

VAN: Just Sharothi.

ALPHAMON: So, is he a good guy now?

FF7 SEPHIROTH: No, it's not Sharothi. He's there. {Points to Sharothi on the ground, dead, with Pepsi flowing from his mouth.} The giant guy... is a giant.

{The Giant Guy scoops up some of the enemies, and proceeds to eat them.}

FF7 SEPHIROTH: Who eats Glabal and Wraiths.

ALPHAMON: Then why does he-?

{A giant Sharothi mask falls from the sky.}

ALPHAMON: Oh. Well, let's pummel some evil!

{Everyone rushes into the group of enemies. End 'Sode.}