Wikihood/arc/15

Summary

Noxigar's hack proves useful, and now he has to fight the antagonist, which is a virus with a Power Glove, a Keyblade, and a devotion to Chaos. Afterwards, Namine finishes the last few pages of her sketchbook. And, all of the Characters team up to finally destroy First Chaos, and the Emperor King Wraith.

Transcript

{Noxigar's hack ensures that he goes through unnoticed. He finds himself in the office of the virus.}

NOXIGAR: Hello, anyone here?

{The back of a chair is all that can be seen from the desk.}

????: My name is Sharothi. You are?

NOXIGAR: Your demise. Tell me why you are triggering virtual worlds to go unstable...

SHAROTHI: Well, Mr. Demise, you must be here to "save the world".

NOXIGAR: You haven't explained anything!

SHAROTHI: Aren't we the impatient types... The world has gone mad, and I'm reconstructing the worlds so that they aren't as incompetent as the previous.

NOXIGAR: Your cause is noble, but you're going about it in so many wrong ways. Like the old saying, the path to Hell is paved with good intentions.

SHAROTHI: My Sharothians should have destroyed you all!

NOXIGAR: Stop changing the subject!

SHAROTHI: I prayed to my deity Chaos to guide me, and my world-wiping laser is almost ready. His blessings are the reason.

NOXIGAR: What?

{Sharothi gets out a power glove and a Keyblade}

SHAROTHI: I love the Power Glove. I've made it so bad. Badder than the AVGN's glove, even.

NOXIGAR: And you have a Keyblade for some reason.

SHAROTHI: Some guy with blond, spikey hair gave it to me. He told me to be careful of a "noxious plague". He must've been referring to you.

NOXIGAR: My name is Noxigar. I am your "plague". {he takes out a venomous potion and two cups full of Pepsi} You seem to be witty enough of a man. How about we reference Princess Bride and engage in a battle of wits?

SHAROTHI: No harm no foul, I suppose.

{Noxigar and Sharothi both sit down. An entirely black man walks in.}

SECRETARY: Mr Sharothi? The laser is ready.

{OOC: What laser? - Znex}

{OOC: THE MAJIC LASER THAT MOVES THE PLOT FORWARD! -Vindicator}

{Vindicator kicks the door down and tackles Sharothi}

VINDICATOR: YOU DO NOT SPEAK DOWN TO THE ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD!

{Vindicator punches Sharothi in a fury, until he gets up, dusts himself off, puts Sharothi back in the chair, and leaves the room, closing the door after him.}

SEPHIROTH: Holy Crap! ....Sharothi? I think I've heard of you.... Wait! Didn't you go missing in 46 AD? {OCC: Noxi, you're not making all the Sharothians evil, are you? Is this guy a corrupt person, or what? I don't want the whole race to be evil. It's all neutral.} Anyway, what do you want with the digital realm? ...Wait... Don't tell me. You're gonna do the Sharothian tradition of cleaning it up, and then ruling it for yourself, aren't you?

SHAROTHI: Good guess. {to the secretary} Prepare the shield.

{The secretary nods and runs off.}

{OOC: Sharothi is misguided by his deity. His intentions are supposed to be good.}

NOXIGAR: I put the venom in one of two glasses. Choose wisely, for your life is at stake. {OOC: The poisoned glass is right in front of Noxi.}

{Noxigr puts a glass in front of him and a glass in front of Sharothi. Hades pops up inexplicably.}

HADES: I just love watching someone inevitably die. {points at Sharothi}

SEPHIROTH: Oh yeah! I've seen the movie! They were both poisoned! The guy took a vaccine, and was immune to it! Oh crap! I blabbed!

LAVOS: That always was my brothers problem. He did that in my sons birthday party.

SEPHIROTH: Come on, I thought you bought it for yourself!

LAVOS: Oh yeah, Noxigar, I never met you! Hello, I'm Lavos! Sephiroth's Brother, from the Realm of Water! {Extends Hand.}

SEPHIROTH: I'm from the realm of Wind. I already know a few things about myself in a 1000 years.

{Chwoka appears out of absolutely nowhere.}

CHWOKA: So, I take it that Sharothi is the bad guy? W-what defenses does he have? It looks like none. Why don't you just kill him instead of letting him get away? If you need to get information, you could always restrain him, THEN kill him.

SEPHIROTH: {4TH WALL BREAK!!!!} Yes, but we're not fans of Sudden Es-Duex-Machinas, or whatever they're called. We're trying to have a plot. Not, a rapidly moving rollercoaster. So, yeah, we're building up a story. {4TH WALL BREAK OVER!!!!}

{Sharothi takes the cup in front of him quickly, after Chwoka and Sephiroth stop interrupting. After 3 seconds, he keels over.}

NOXIGAR: He chose wrongly. Too bad. Well, now we have to deal with that laser thing. Anyone got a manual?

{Silver levitates by and throws Noxigar a manual, knocking him off his chair.}

SILVER: There. Now hurry up! Lunch break is in 15 minutes!

{Noxigar stands up.}

NOXIGAR: Awrighty. Let's end this train wreck!

{Noxigar transforms into Xigbar}

NOXIXIGBAR: Now, watch this!

{Noxixigbar does a barrel roll and shoots the world-wiping laser. It's shield is down.}

NOXIXIGBAR: Now we can leave the Digital World after I find the self-destruct sequence.

{Noxixigbar transforms into Noxiaxel.}

NOXIAXEL: Disco Inferno!

{Noxiaxel melts the World Wiper via a firewall surrounding it. It explodes. Noxigar logs off. Pan to Namine's house.}

NOXIGAR: Alright. Now we can find a new plot laters. How goes the denouement, Namine?

{Cut to Namine in the living room with her sketchbook, drawing Chwoka and Sephiroth in a victory pose.}

NAMINE: Almost done, Noxi!

{Sephiroth walks in.}

SEPHIROTH: Acually, it's not all done. One plot is still happening, and that's the war in Sharoth. See, you destroyed the Digital World, however, unknowably, transported everyone else, back into Planet Elemental. The war, is back where it was, and, well, WE SHOULD FIGHT IT!!! THE FIRST CHAOS IS STILL ALIVE!! SO... {Grabs Sketchbook, and turns a few pages, showing a scene similar to Episode 13.} Come on!

{Cut to the same battlefield from Episode 3. All of the same armies are there, Except for the Wraith Leader.}

SEPHIROTH: Wait.... The war is over. I ended it, by killing the Wraith Leader. .....WE ALL NEED TO DESTROY THE FIRST CHAOS! COME ON!!! EMBERON AWAITS!! {Quintillions of Ships fly into the sky, heading towards Emberon, with Sephiroth's new Ship, the Golden Piece, Leading.}

NAMINE: I think I met the First Chaos at the Trogdor convention. Not like it matters. Mayhap your enemy Cloud can kill him. {shows Sephiroth a sketch of Cloud climbing on the First Chaos with Axel yelling, "Get up on the Hydra's back!"} I don't have very many pages on this sketchbook left, though. I've got around 10 sheets of paper left. Noxi, can you buy a new sketchbook for me please?

{Noxigar warps to a nearby store to get sketchbooks. He gets a dozen and pays with a Visa card. He warps back.}

NOXIGAR: How short of time was that?

{Namine clicks on a stopwatch.}

NAMINE: Over 9000 miliseconds.

NOXIGAR: What? 9000?!

NAMINE: Remember the convention where you outraced everyone who cosplayed as Sonic? It's the same amount of time, only divided by a million.

SEPHIROTH: Man, that would of been so useful, only if this Universe actually allowed that. Here, it's just, an ordinary sketch. Watch. {Grabs Sketchbook, and draws Sean Connery in a Gundam Suit. Nothing happens.} See, no go. By the way, Cloud isn't my enemy, it's the other Sephiroth's enemy. {FF7 Sephiroth flies down.}

FF7 SEPHIROTH: Cloud? Oh, I would like to get even with him!

SEPHIROTH: Anyway, we're here now. {The ships land on Emberon, which Everyone gets off, and starts running towards the fortress.} FIGHT FOR HONOR, SHAROTHIANS!! EVERYONE ELSE, FIGHT FOR FREE PIZZA!! {Everyone else becomes even more determined, after Sephiroth says that.}

NOXIGAR: How's about Namine dresses up like Cloud? Then she fights Chaos? She has similar "creation" prowess.

{Namine is now seen in the same outfit as Cloud, carrying the same thick sword.}

NAMINE: Sweet!

NOXIGAR: Well, now you don't have to use the sketchbooks where Sephiroth is taking us, because... well... yeah.

SEPHIROTH: I ain't complaining. LET'S STORM!!!!

{Inside the first floor of the Fortress, it looks like the Palace Floor, but wreaked.}

SEPHIROTH: DARN YOU CHAOS!!

NAMINE: Can we use the Magic Flute from Super Mario Bros. 3? It'll warp us straight to Chaos.

SEPHIROTH: We could, but a full scale attack will show him we're determind to kill him.

{Pan to the left. Super Sam, and Eggman Nega are hiding behind it.}

SUPER SAM: .... Seems like they're gonna destroy The First Chaos for us.

EGGMAN NEGA: Paydirt! I heard, the crystal inside him, has the power, to revive, as well as destroy.

SUPER SAM: Then, we could steal it, revive the Enigma, and then...

BOTH: WIKIHOOD WILL BE OURS TO DESTROY!!

{Silver arrives behind them, taking Eggman Nega with him back to the future.}

SILVER: Sorry to ruin your guys' plan, but I have to take a certain fatty back to his timeline. No more strange subplots with little meaning to the storyline!

SUPER SAM: Curses! Foiled again!

{Super Sam jumps off a cliff and lands in a cellar of kiwi fruits.}

SILVER: Uhm... bye now.

{Silver and Eggman Nega vanish into thin air.}

{OOC: You know, this acually was your plot. You started this. This was the original plot. That you made. You can even read the first episodes to rediscover. :P -Sephiroth.}

{OOC: Understood. The kiwi fruit idea wasn't mine though. And wasn't Silver just there whenever the present wasn't coherent? I'm surprised Chwoka didn't use him to "whitewash" time. - No cigar}

{Cut back to Namine and Sephiroth in Chaos' room. The First Chaos is dressed like Castlevania's Dracula}

NAMINE: Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!

FIRST CHAOS: It wasn't by my hand that I was brought back. Humans wanted to pay me tribute, and this is the result.

NAMINE: Your messing-up mankind ends here and now!

FIRST CHAOS: What is a man? A man is a miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk, have at you! ......Anyway, I know why you're here.... You want to destroy me. You want to kill me. You don't know, however, that I am, a God. {Rises into the air, and then transforms into a more Demonic form, 10X in Size. He also destroys the ceiling.} If you want to fight, TAKE TO THE SKIES!!!

{Namine stands on a cloud platform and takes a battle stance to fight First Chaos.}

{Sephiroth's Airship Rises.}

SEPHIROTH: You are the first Chaos, but, you are also, the LAST CHAOS!!!

FIRST CHAOS: Ha! Funny pun. Anyway, Who said it was just us! {An army of Giant Wraiths Made of pure darkness arise. The Wraith Leader is there too.}

WRAITH LEADER: As I said, I would be revived by my master!

SEPHIROTH: Oh, I have an army too! {Sephiroth's army fly up, along with the rest of the Wikihood characters. Including ones who haven't been seen for a while, such as, Daxter and Luigi, flying in a Mushroom Ship from SMG.} Man, this battle, is gonna heat up! {Even Iieca comes down.}

IIECA: Once I heard the news, I came quickly!

SEPHIROTH: LETS FIGHT!!!

{Namine lunges at First Chaos. First Chaos Dodges, and slams her down to the ground, causing a shockwave, that destroys the fortress. Namine gets up and slices one of First Chaos' twenty fingers. She stands back on her cloud platform.}

NOXIGAR: So, what happens if we destroy one of the Chaos deity's fingers?

FIRST CHAOS: It comes back.

{First Chaos' finger grows back.}

FIRST CHAOS: Hmph. I know why you're called Nobodies. Because you're worthless. You are Nobody. You're just a carbon copy of a Teenage Girl. Pathetic. And that costume.... Worthless. I've seen better Costumes at over 40 Cosplay conventions! And you, Sharothians, I pity you. Over the Septillion years we've existed, I've given you mercy. You are just weak, compared to me, CHAOS! THE OMNIGOD!!! THE ONE TRUE CHAOS!!!

{Namine takes out the Point Card}

NAMINE: I learned this trick from Legend of Legaia.

{First Chaos ends up taking 9999 damage thanks to the Point Card.}

NAMINE: One good reason to shop. Another reason to decimate annoying bosses.

FIRST CHAOS: My HP is 2 times my age. I'm Septillion years old. {Guides a Pure Darkness beam at Namine and Sephiroth. Sephiroth dodges, and attacks him with a Ultima attack. He then starts charging power.}

NAMINE: Well then I'll just use the Point Card as many times as needed. Or just slash you until your HP is low enough to use the Point Card for a one-turn kill.

{Namine lunges at First Chaos, slicing to aim at the demon's heart.}

FIRST CHAOS: {Take Point Card, and rips it to pieces, then dodges attack.} Hmph. {Backs away, and the Wraiths move forward.}

LEADER WRAITH: ATTACK!!!

{The Wraiths attack each character. The Wraithes get killed, but respawn back at Chaos.}

FIRST CHAOS: Hmm.... FUSE!!

LEADER WRAITH: YESSIR! {All the wraiths form a human pyramid, and then fuse together, to create the Emperor King Wraith.}

EKW: NOW, WE ARE POWERFUL!!

{The Emperor King Wraith starts throwing Blackfire at everybody.}

EKW: FEEL YOUR SOUL BURN!!

{Noxigar joins in, plays a Spell Card known as Polymerization and fuses him, Sephiroth, and Namine to make Final Fantasy}

FINAL FANTASY: Two can play at this game of being the most overpowered!

FINAL FANTASY (SEPHIROTH): Man, I want to be called Dragon Quest.

FF7 SEPHIROTH: Fusion? Good idea. {Joins in, and then transforms into Sereph Sephiroth.}

SEREPH SEPHIROTH: EVERYONE! INTO YOUR MOST POWERFUL FORMS!

VINCENT: Fine! {Transforms into a beast like creature.}

{The AVGN runs and punches First Chaos repeatedly. His right hand is covered by the Power Glove, and he has a backpack that looks like a NES console}

FIRST CHAOS: Everyone in Wikihood.. This is serious.

{Chris Crocker even comes up, and attacks First Chaos with a stick. He is quickly killed, however, when First Chaos crushes him.}

EKW: DESTROY!!!

FINAL FANTASY: Ha! It will be you, who will be destroyed! {Throws a large Ki Blast at EKW.}

{Shadow pops up and continously Homing Attacks First Chaos, using Happy Pickle Man as a parachute for whenever he can't Homing Attack anymore.}

EKW: MASTER, I'LL PROTECT YOU!!! {Throws Shadow to the ground.} Shadow, my enemy. Remember, these? {Has Chaos Emeralds in hand. He throws them at First Chaos, and First Chaos grows more powerful.}

SHADOW: FYI, there's no jewelry store nearby. Looks like using them doesn't help unless you have rings or some form of defense, which you don't. Noxi, I think Vindicator left this. {throws the Deletion Gun}

NOXIGAR: The Deleter Gun! This was used in the first episode.

SHADOW: Just use it to defeat First Chaos. The Emperor is easy for me. {Shadow uses Homing Attack on EKW while Noxigar fires the Deletion Gun on First Chaos, who fizzles.}

FIRST CHAOS: WHAT?! {in Darth Vader's voice} NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

{First Chaos gets sent to a recycling bin in which he is stuck in due to not fitting}

NOXIGAR: I wonder what Tom Servo and Crow would say if they saw me now!

{Cut to outer space, where Tom Servo and Crow are watching.}'

TOM SERVO: No way! A deus-ex-machina pwned the Final Boss! But why isn't the enemy dead?

CROW: {sarcastically} First Chaos could be killed methodically and not physically!

TOM SERVO AND CROW: Hooray!

{First Chaos comes back, Unscathed.}

FIRST CHAOS: Fooled ya! {Grabs Deletion gun, and smashes it.} It takes much more to destroy me.

EKW: Hmph. {Puts up barrier, which stops Shadow from attacking.} MY SPAWN! ATTACK! {Lots of normal wraithes spawn, and attack the characters.}

{Namine chops up all the wraiths, while Shadow rides a vehicle which runs First Chaos over. Judge Roy Spleen takes a ride, too}

JRS: Don't leave me out of the plot! I still had to declare my verdict! And this guy is guilty of godmodding to the infinite degree!

SEPHIROTH: No, it would take much more to kill him. {First Chaos rises up again.}

FIRST CHAOS: Oh, I'm godmodding, aren't I? All big bosses god mod.

SEPHIROTH: We can't beat him. We must... surpass the boundaries. We must... become, as powerful as him, to take him down. That would involve... the Septofusion. But, that has a 99% chance of killing us all.

NOXIGAR: Alright, we have to get someone to take attendance of all Wikihood characters. Even Plank the future Master Emerald.

EKW: Man, this is gonna be so funny.

FIRST CHAOS: They think they can beat us.

EKW: Quite Sad, really.

FIRST CHAOS: Yeah. Let's sit back, and watch.

SEPHIROTH: Alright, lets read the list!

{Noxigar brings all the characters, lined up in order of chronological appearance.}

SEPHIROTH: Right, lets do it! LET'S GO! Everyone crowds together, then start charging towards First Chaos. As they pick up speed, they light into a multicolored Phoenix flame, and then, the flame becomes a large Golden Phoenix.}

PHEONIX: We are 1. WE ARE WIKIHOOD!!! {Flies right into the EKW, impaling him, but still leaving him alive. It goes level with First Chaos.} We, are now equal. Both, Omnigods. You, the God of Darkness, and me, the God of Ultielemental. I have deal for you. You, stop your evil deeds, and I'll spare you. But, if you carry on, I will destroy you, like wind on a tiny flame.

FIRST CHAOS: I'm not afraid o' you! I know that phoenixes have a time limit or become an egg. An egg that I can devour. So, you have an hour to defeat me. I'm still at 75% my HP, despite the annoying attempts to defeat me.

{The phoenix charges at First Chaos and knocks his HP to 1.}

FIRST CHAOS: Close, but no cigar. Now you have to wait for my turn like in typical RPGs.

'PHEONIX: Oh, we don't need to. {Charges at First Chaos again, knocking his HP down to Minus 10,000. First Chaos, however, is still alive. He starts to laugh like a maniac.}

FIRST CHAOS: YOU THINK THAT ALONE CAN STOP ME? YOU DON'T GET IT, DO YOU? I AM GOD!!! {Starts to attack Wikihood with an Energy beam. Wikihood also fires one, and it becomes a battle of Beams. Suddenly, both beams go into Beam Lock.}

PHEONIX: Now I just have to finish you off one last time, and not with the Point Card. {The phoenix shoots fire at First Chaos, who is downed}

FIRST CHAOS: About time you defeated me... now the Sharothians will be free... but without their leader Sharothi.

{First Chaos fizzles away, and Phoenix defuses. Pan to Namine in her living room turning to the final page of her sketchbook, which is Noxigar and Sephiroth doing a victory pose.}

NAMINE: Hey Noxi! The story's finished!

{Namine shows the book to Noxigar.}

NOXIGAR: Sweet! Now we can finish Season 1 of Wikihood!

NAMINE: What do you want to do next? You still owe me dinner and a movie due to me beating you at blackjack.

NOXIGAR: Oh yeah...

{End credits roll at half the framerate that the credits usually roll at. Dramatic music plays throughout the credits}

{The episode ends with all the characters in a victory pose.}

END!!!