(even if you aren't vegan)
Wikihood/arc/11
Summary
The team has made it in the right place, at the right time. Everyone except for two go looking for the wisest man in all the universes in the one universe. Meanwhile, a big battle between Chaos and Joseph ensues.
Transcript
{The Invincible is flying through a giant wormhole.}
CHAOS: How much further?
ZNEX: Well, apparently, from the looks of the time code, this universe is supposed to be the hundredth one made. Our universe was the 6309278472874295837201st universe made.
SEPHIROTH: And that universe, is mine! We have only about 12 minutes to get there.
ZNEX: No it isn't actually. The time code is one digit off, I looked at yours. We've got 2 days and 12 hours to go.
CHAOS: Actually, we've only passed about 2 universes...so, carry the tw-We're never gonna make it.
SEPHIROTH: Well, what should we do to pass the time?
ZNEX: I knew we should've taken the cuff.
{Cut to a montage of the Wikihood characters playing games, eating, and other things to pass the time.}
CHAOS: Well, we've passed 6309278472874295837100 other universes. Here it is now.
{The Invincible flies into a hole, and is in a new universe.}
CHAOS: What planet?
ZNEX: Uh...
{Znex presses a series of buttons.}
ZNEX: Whoa, the whole thing is going kooky. It can only define that the wisest creature of all is in the {has difficulty pronouncing next word} Alrgrckonl system. Whoa, that's a lot of garble.
CHAOS: I loved that place! I bummed around there a long time ago.
{They fly to the system, where there is only 1 big planet.}
CHAOS: Let's land!
{The Invincible lands in a docking bay. And the Wikihood characters get off. A strange blue being with 4 arms, 4 legs, 4 eyes, a pig snout and yellow spots walks over to them.}
STRANGE BLUE BEING: {speaks foreign language}
ZNEX: Oh, I forgot to turn on the translator. Hang on.
{Znex presses a series of buttons on his cuff.}
STRANGE BLUE BEING: {in English now} --Yuhronkilsu City, home of the Rthorsnklau. My name is Tfgranopkg, and I shall be your guide.
CHAOS: You guys needed a translator for that? Well, Me and Joseph aren't going. We have...something to settle.
{The two sprout their wings and fly off.}
TFGARNOPKG: I have never seen such strange beings as you before. From where do you hail?
ZNEX: Uh, it's a place far far away. You wouldn't understand.
TFGARNOPKG: Oh, but the High Priest of Chaos would understand!
ZNEX: The High Priest...of Chaos?!
TFGARNOPKG: Why yes! Chaos is the god of life! He freed us from the powerful might of Hynukgfop the Destroyer eons ago and made this world suitable for us to live in! He also told us the secret of time travel!
ZNEX: Time travel?
TFGARNOPKG: Why yes! However, we could never find the right sort of energy to thrust us all the way to his galaxy, for that's where he left after he had done all this for us! But he promised he would return one day, to thrust us into glory, and give us a much nicer world, which is what we call Paradisea! We have been waiting ever since.
ZNEX: So, you said the High Priest of Chaos would understand all this?
TFGARNOPKG: Of course! He knows everything you need to know, but for some reason, he has never told us when Chaos will be coming back. Perhaps Chaos has shielded this information from him?
ZNEX: Perhaps. So where does this High Priest live?
TFGARNOPKG: Why, in the High Temple of Chaos, of course! However, no one has ever seen it. The Priests of Chaos give the High Priest all our questions, and he answers them with such wisdom and intelligence!
ZNEX: Okay, thanks!
TFGARNOPKG: It is always a pleasure to help. {walks off}
ZNEX: {to the others} Okay, where do we go first?
4: Let's go find one of those priests! Maybe they actually will take us to the High Temple.
KUJA: I propose we go to the skies, and fly to the temple.
ZNEX: Nah, we don't even know where it is. I think we should follow 4's advice for now. Let's go.
{They walk off. Cut to where Chaos and Joseph are.}
CHAOS: It's been so long since I was last here. The first time, they treated me as a messiah. A god.
JOSEPH: Funny. Shouldn't you be their Satan?
CHAOS: I tried to tell them wrong, but apparently, they just don't listen to reason.
JOSEPH: So, let's pick up where we left off.
{Chaos makes celestial fire with hia gauntlet. When he looks up, Chaos is inhis trance form.}
CHAOS: You wouldn't want to share the same fateas your father, would you?
JOSEPH: Guess not. {He takes the gauntlet, and it dissolves}
CHAOS: Hand to hand.
{The two rush at each other, and begin launching rapid punches and kicks. Chaos hits Joseph in the gut with his elbow, and Joseph kicks Chaos in the temple. The two punch each other in the face, at the same time, on the opposite sides. Then, Joseph picks up Chaos and throws him into a mountain.}
CHAOS: Why always the mountains?
JOSEPH: Good question.
{The two then have a rapid punch fight, in which Joseph is sent into a mountain.}
CHAOS: How does it feel?
JOSEPH: Just dandy.
{Chaos shoots Red Thunder while Joseph launches Blue Fire, they each cross each other, and both of them dodge it. Joseph, however, hits a protruding piece of the mountain and begins to fall.}
CHAOS: Idiot.
{Chaos flies down, and picks him up, then lays him in the flowery area above a cliff.}
CHAOS: I have somewhere to be right now. Declare this another win for me.
{Chaos flies away, and Joseph balls one of his hands in a fist. Then, Chaos lands with the rest of the group.}
CHAOS: I'm back. Joseph will be along in a while...If I didn't break any of his bones.
ZNEX: Uh, Chaos, just a question, but have you ever lost anything?
CHAOS: What do you mean?
ZNEX: I mean, have you ever lost any battles?
CHAOS: Well, I did lose a lot, and I ALMOST lost an important one, it sort of relates to this planet, too. Do you want to hear it?
ZNEX: I think I've already heard about it from the guide, but go on.
CHAOS: About 500,000 years ago, I came to this planet. Many thought I was a savior. They called me "The Great one From The Sky". I tried to prove the wrong, but then they took me to this castle court. A large being, yallow and fat, with 100 eyes, on a platform, walked out of a doorway with a humaneaque girl. She had green hair, and was dressed in a beautiful red garment. The king looked at me and scoffed, saying "This is not our calamity." Everyone tried to prove him wrong. They did, too. When I left, a small boy, blue, four arms, four legs, little pig snout, told me that the king was evil, and had stolen their land. I was angry. I went back to the king, and fought him. But, when I went to fight him, in his place was a white being, in red, black, and gold clothing. He told me he was the real king. So, I fought him. I used almost ALL of my best attacks.Eventually, he looked to have gotten weak, but shot a powerful blast at me. I didn't think I'd win. Until, he was shot in the back with a light arrow. And the girl who shot it was the same girl from before. She thanked me. And the day after, I was declared a god. But, I fled with the girl. That same girl is now my general in my undead army, Helsong. I was much different from before when I returned today.
ZNEX: Shows how improbable mythology is.
CHAOS: So, I keep this form, I don't get found. If I don't get found, you don't get in trouble.
ZNEX: Why would I get in trouble?
CHAOS: These people are a little too overprotective. They exxagerate eveything, and may think you kidnapped me.
ZNEX: Ahs.
{They stop at what looks like a skyscraper made out of wood. A plaque is nearby, saying "Yuhronkilsu Temple of Chaos".}
ZNEX: Looks like we're here.
{Moobly appears out of nowhere.}
MOOBLY: Is it just me or is the translator translating written stuff as well? {disappears}
ZNEX: Hey, he's right.
{OOC: I have to get off for a while. I'll be back on. Can we halt the plot for now? You could check out This. That can be edited to death.}
{OOC:Nevermind.}
CHAOS: I don't feel too happy about setting foot in here.
ZNEX: Come on, they'd never recognise you. Besides, this is just some priest.
{The Wikihood characters enter the temple and find themselves in a lit room, where the ceiling goes up as high as the skyscraper itself. A Rthorsnklau priest is praying at a statue that looks remarkably like Demon Chaos. When they walk in, the priest stands up and walks over.}
PRIEST: Greetings, offworlders. Have you come to pray at the holy statue of the god, Chaos?
CHAOS:Umm... Hello. I'm with my companions to-
{Chaos steps on a weird symbol in the floor, and he begins to turn into Demon Chaos.}
CHAOS: Uh...
PRIEST: So, I see you've encountered our hologram projector! It makes you look like the god of life, but only temporarily.
{As the priest says it, Chaos goes back to normal.}
PRIEST: Tourists enjoy it very much!
{Cut to a flashback. There are three people who look like Demon Chaos standing near the hologram projector. The priest is standing nearby.}
DEMON CHAOS 1#: {trying to imitate what he thinks Chaos sounds like} Hey there, I'm Chaos, the god of life!
DEMON CHAOS 2#: {trying to imitate what he thinks Chaos sounds like} No you're not, I am! I'm so great that I destroyed some destroyer!
DEMON CHAOS 3#: {trying to imitate what he thinks Chaos sounds like} How ironic! No, I'm the greatest, I left an entire civilisation behind, and I'm ignoring everything they say!
{The Demon Chaos' guffaw as they start to change back into cyclopes. The priest grumbles. Cut back.}
CHAOS: Right. Holograms. Cool technology.
ZNEX: Priest of Chaos, would you be able to arrange a meeting with the High Priest and us?
PRIEST: Oh no, he doesn't allow visitors. However, I'd be happy to--
ZNEX: No, we need to see him.
PRIEST: I am sorry, he does not allow visi--
ZNEX: {starting to get frustrated} I don't care, we need to see him.
PRIEST: {sternly} He does not allow visi--
ZNEX: {shouting} I DON'T GIVE A CRAP WHAT HE ALLOWS OR NOT, BUT WE NEED TO SEE HIM!
PRIEST: {shouting} IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE NOW, I SHALL CALL UPON CHAOS TO STRIKE YOU DOWN!
ZNEX: {stops shouting} Okay, call upon him.
PRIEST: {still stern} Very well.
{The priest turns to face the statue.}
PRIEST: O mighty Chaos, I call upon you to strike down these heretics where they stand, for they do not deserve to live!
{A bolt of red lightning strikes Znex.}
CHAOS: What the? How did you do that?
{The priest turns.}
PRIEST: It is by the will of Chaos. Now be gone!
{Cut to outside the temple where everyone is sitting.}
ZNEX: Well, that didn't go well.
CHAOS: How did they do that? Only I can conjure Red Thunder, and Red lightning.
ZNEX: Yeah, but you're the only one you know of who can conjure Red Thunder and Lightning. For all we know, someone could've learned how to harness its power.
CHAOS: I'm going back in there.
{Chaos opens the door, and jumps over the hologram platform.}
CHAOS: Tell me. Now. How can you make that red lightning.
PRIEST: It is the will of Chaos.
CHAOS: It's not my will.
PRIEST: Of course it's not your will, it's the will of Chaos!
CHAOS: I am Chaos.
{The priest turns around, and Watches in amazement as Chaos turns into Demon Chaos.}
PRIEST: Chaos?! You have got to be pulling my legs!
DEMON CHAOS: No. I am the real one.
PRIEST: You really are all heretics! {looks at the statue} O mighty Chaos, strike the heretic down!
{The lightning begins to start, But Demon Chaos takes it and slams it out of the door. it hits Znex again.}
DEMON CHAOS: Believe me NOW!?!
PRIEST: {speechless} I...ummm...errr...oh, fine. I do not know how I could not even recognise my god and master. {kneels down} Will you forgive me?
DEMON CHAOS: Rise. You are forgiven. I understand. Now, will you take me to the high priest?
{OOC:I REALLY have to go to bed. It's 2:00 here.}
PRIEST: Oh, anything for you, o mighty Chaos.
{OOC: Go to bed then. =P - Znex}
{Ahh man. You guys are poopoos. You make me sad. You do it without me. Wah. :( ........ (Kicks Znex, and Chaos, and bludgeons them with a drain pipe.) -Seph}
{Cut to back outside the temple where everyone is sitting. Sephiroth walks over.}
SEPHIROTH: I go, just to get something, and you leave without me! ......GRR!!! {Throws rocks all over the place.}
DEMON CHAOS: C'mon. He's waiting for us.
{They all walk into the temple, where the priest is waiting for them.}
PRIEST: Ah, good. Now, this way, if you please.
{The priest walks over to the statue, and walks around to the back, where he pulls the long horn protruding from the statue's head, and it opens, revealing a small space barely big enough for a whole body. They all then crawl through the space into a small shaft.}
PRIEST: Right, here's where we stop. From here, you'll find a small cart. Ride on it through the shaft until you reach the...ahem, "end". Then, all you need to do is find your way through a giant maze--
ZNEX: But shouldn't you come with us? I mean, you know how to get through the maze, don't you?
PRIEST: I do sometimes, but the maze always changes. {climbs back up the space}
ZNEX: Right, let's go through. Ready?
{Demon Chaos picks everyone up, and uses his wing, jet, arm protrusions and flies through everything, to the end of the maze.}
DEMON CHAOS: Done.
{Sephiroth appears behind Znex holding a club, but Demon Chaos grabs his arm, and stops him.}
SEPHIROTH: Grr.. {Gets out Portal gun, and portals himself to the end.}
DEMON CHAOS: Sephiroth, you do know that the end is behind that big door that you were only about 10 steps from? So, that was sort of....a waste of time.
SEPHIROTH: I Don't care! I'm still angry for being left behind! I still have the urge to Bludgeon someone! See, when I get left behind in something, I get the urge to bludgeon them.
DEMON CHAOS: Well, you can bludgeon the door.
ZNEX: Right, let's go through.
{Znex opens the door and finds himself facing a portal.}
ZNEX: Right, let's go through. Meet you on the other side!
{Znex enters the portal.}
DEMON CHAOS: Onward.
{Demon Chaos runs through the portal.}
{Sephiroth goes through the portal, and sees a weird statue of Everyone in Wikihood a long way away.}
SEPHIROTH: Weird...
ZNEX: Come.
{The Wikihood characters run along the passageway until they come across another door. Znex opens it, and another portal is behind it.}
ZNEX: Last one through's a chicken! {jumps into the portal}
SEPHIROTH: I ain't a chicken! {Speeds past Znex into the portal.}
{Cut to the other side of the portal, where the two are on a small but extravagant planet. Chaos then goes through the portal.}
ZNEX: Hah hah! CHICKEN! {makes chicken sounds}
SEPHIROTH: Hey, I lost my will to bludgeon people! Wanna hear a historical story?
DEMON CHAOS: I already know it. Let's just go on.
{Demon Chaos walks ahead the other group.}
SEPHIROTH: Really? You know of my story? Well, you wanna hear Znex?
ZNEX: Not now, Sephiroth.
{The group follow Chaos towards a small road just nearby the portal. They then walk along it until they get to the end, which is at a place where a Rthorsnklau is sitting on a picnic mat.}
ZNEX: Uh, hello. Are you the High Priest of Chaos?
RTHORSNKLAU: No, he's on the other side of the planet.
ZNEX: Oh.
SEPHIROTH: Oh come on! Please?!
DEMON CHAOS: Not now, Sephiroth. So, Do you know of a way to get there quickly?
SEPHIROTH: Oh well. We could try this thing I can do. But It's not guaranteed to be safe.
RTHORSNKLAU: I know a quick, yet safe way to the other side. There's a waterfall nearby, and inside it is a portal.
SEPHIROTH: That works.
DEMON CHAOS: Which way?
RTHORSNKLAU: It's just further on. Oh, you might want a piece of cake. {hands them a piece of cake} Made by one of the best bakers in the Alrgrckonl system.
SEPHIROTH: {Eats some.} Whoa! The cake wasn't a lie!
DEMON CHAOS: Told you the cake was the truth.
ZNEX: Right, so we're leaving then?
SEPHIROTH: Hope so, this place is boring me. We haven't learn't anything about Zharanakuva, yet.
{They walk on further until they reach a river.}
ZNEX: Right, if my geographical knowledge is correct, there should be a waterfall connected to this somewhere.
DEMON CHAOS: If MY geographical knowledge is correct, this empties into the waterfall.
{Points to a cliff where the water goes off, into a waterfall.}
ZNEX: Same thing.
{They walk over to the cliff, and start climbing down it towards the waterfall.}
{Sephiroth lets go, and falls at the waterfall.}
SEPHIROTH: I see it!
{Znex and Chaos let go and walk over to Sephiroth.}
ZNEX: {looking through the waterfall} There we go. Let's go.
{They walk through the waterfall and through the portal. They find themselves on the top of a mountain.}
ZNEX: Ah, I think that's him. {points to a small cave where an old Rthorsnklau is sitting}
SEPHIROTH: Hello?
RTHORSNKLAU: Greetings. I foresaw that you would come. Come to my cave.
{The three slowly climb down the mountain to the cave.}
HIGH PRIEST: Now, I believe you wish to ask me what, or who made Zharanakuva evil.
{Demon Chaos returns to normal.}
CHAOS: That's correct.
HIGH PRIEST: Well, it happened a long long time ago. The first universe had just been destroyed, and the next one was made. However, this second one was a wicked place. There were thieves, murderers and other criminals around, the people were so desperate that they even killed themselves then let these dreadful things happen to them. But the most evil of all, was the god of death, Chaos.
CHAOS: God of life, god of death, WHAT AM I TO YOU PEOPLE?
HIGH PRIEST: Quiet down, I am merely telling you what has come to pass, for in that universe, you were a god. Now if you're ready, I'll continue.
CHAOS: Just go on.
HIGH PRIEST: Every day, Chaos would come along, and take one in every million to be one of his subjects, and those who objected, he took too. Eventually, the people got so angry and frustrated that they forgot they were supposed to be wicked and rose up together against him and threw him out. But as Chaos went, he swore a curse on them, that he shall return and kill every single one of them and dispose of their souls in a bottomless pit. No one listened however. After a few eons, he returned and killed every last one, even the women and children. But then, one of his most trusted advisors took the chance and killed him, destroying his body. But he kept the soul in a small crystal. Years went by, and the advisor eventually died, passing on the crystal to his eldest son. And on it went, father to son, son to grandson and grandson to great grandson, until it came to one known as Unipater. He grew greedy, and spent his money on luxurious things, things that would've been unaffordable. Eventually, he became broke, and sat in the streets, begging for coins just to satisfy his hunger. Then one day, he heard a voice. "Release me," it said, "and I shall return you to your original glory." Looking for the source, Unipater eventually came upon the strange crystal. Starting to remember his original glory, Unipater greedily agreed and started to smash the crystal open. However, the soul of Chaos had tricked him, and it destroyed him. Since it did not have a body anymore, it searched for a host, and eventually found one by the name of Mersolibitos. However, the host was weak, and the soul searched for a stronger one throughout the many universes. Finally, it came upon the universe of the benevolent ruler Zharanakuva. Since it only needed a small bit of its soul to control Zharanakuva, it sealed part of itself back in the crystal and it then, in the guise of Mersolibitos, gave the crystal to Zharanakuva, and it started to corrupt him.
CHAOS: I think I understand. Do you remember of Chaos killing a king of some sorts, a nice one, and taking his daughter?
HIGH PRIEST: It depends on what you mean. Do you mean the story you told to these two, {looks at Znex or Sephiroth} or do you mean something else?
CHAOS: If you're so wise, you could learn that whatever happens there turns negative here. Or were you not told about this by your hocus-pocus powers?
HIGH PRIEST: ...Perhaps.
CHAOS: That's my point. Zharanakuva was made evil by the magics of this place.
HIGH PRIEST: No, this place does not have any magics.
FF7 SEPHIROTH: Crystal? Do you mean {Takes out red crystal he ripped out of Zharanavuka's chest.} This? ....But I thought this Crystal was the Celesial Crystal. Unless.... This was originally Chaos's power.
SEPHIROTH: Whoa, never thought you were so evil Chaos! Did you know, I used to be pure evil before?
CHAOS: I've never been sealed in a crystal.
FF7 SEPHIROTH: Than, who did? I'm interested to know, who had this divine power before!?
CHAOS: I'm the only living Chaos in any REAL star system. It could have been an impostor. And the only one I know is that fake one that came along after he died. Maybe we can find his real race, and confront them.
SEPHIROTH: Hmm, could be a shapeshifter. ..But only 2 races in existance have that ability! The Sharothians, which is my race, and the Demons, which is yours.
HIGH PRIEST: There have been alternate versions of people in universes.
SEPHIROTH: Yeah, good point. However, if there was, Chaos probably must of located, and destroyed him by now.
HIGH PRIEST: Unless this Chaos was smart enough not to get noticed.
SEPHIROTH: Yeah... But, Chaos does have high senses.
HIGH PRIEST: This Chaos could have masked himself from this Chaos' {looks at Chaos} senses.
SEPHIROTH: He could just be someone of my race.
HIGH PRIEST: Possibly, but unlikely. The first Sharothians originated around the creation of the 563rd universe, long after the destruction of the 2nd universe.
SEPHIROTH: No, you're wrong. We were the 2nd Universe. We found out the power of regeneration when that first happened.
HIGH PRIEST: Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
SEPHIROTH: Sharoth is acually a mixed type race. We have different classes: Warrior, Thief, Defender, and many more. I'm a Fighter. The 4th most Elite Type. I was sent to Earth's universe, in the Genesis times, to destroy all life, and recreate it. I did a pretty good job in it. I got an award for a few things, including, Trees, Grass, Lions, and Monkeys. However, somethings I didn't destroy, and that's Humans, and Alligators. I loved alligators. I got teased for creating Mosquitos, Midges, and Stinkflies. Man, I don't get much credit for what I created....
{Everything freezes as it washes over with white. Chwoka walks in front of everything.}
CHWOKA: What the hell? Where am I? How did I get here? Who are those people?
{Chwoka looks around}
CHWOKA: Holy crud, I'm seeing through the internet. I must have found that place Dark Sader and Darlon found that one time...but who are these people? Hold on, what is that?
{Chwoka circles a little black spot in the sky, and a red circle is drawn. The picture zooms in to reveal it is Chwoka flying through space, holding his breath.}
CHWOKA: It's me! This must be the future...I have to find a way to get there!
{Cut to the Basement from Wikihood 2. Chwoka climbs out of a hole in the wall.}
CHWOKA: Guys, you'll never guess what I just found!
STRONG SADER: What?
CHWOKA: We're not the main focus in a new Wikihood. Rgiht now the viewers are watching a new Wikihood...Wikihood 3, possibly! We have to find a way to get to them!
{Cut back. The whitewash goes away, and everything resumes with nobody knowing what happened.}
SEPHIROTH: {Looks at screen for 10 seconds, and blinks 3 times.} Oh.... Weird, I felt paused...
ZNEX: Hmmms. What were we talking about?
HIGH PRIEST: We were discussing what species the first Chaos might be.
ZNEX: Oh, that's right.
SEPHIROTH: Wanna know who inhabited Earth before the Dinosaurs?
ZNEX: Prehistoric things?
CHAOS: Me?
SEPHIROTH: No Chaos, not you. I mean, before the Demons and the Angels had any contact with Earth. A ruthless band of warriors, called the Glabal. These people were known for killing ANYONE who wasn't one of them, and feasting on their flesh and blood. When I was a mere child, I was sent to earth, to clean it, and rebuild it with a few things that was decided by the Elders, which was taken from other universes. It took me 20 years to reach there, by Space Pod, in which I aged. When I reached there, the Glabals found me, and automatically decided to Kill me. They captured me, and kept me in a cage made of bones. I escaped, and slaughtered them all. Then, I had temporarily been given the power of Create, and I could create anything I needed too, to make it inhabitable for the things, I didn't destroy. Things including, Plantlife, Water, and Minerals. After that, and Earth became its modern pride and glory, I had hidden from civilization for 6 Millenia. I lived, in a cave, full of future technology, invisible to the eye of Mortals. After the humans started to civilize even more, I came out, and lived with them, pretending that I was one of them. Much later, I had lived over 3 billion years, with supplies being transported to me from my universe. I pretty much sat back, and relaxed after all that. Chaos probably knows of the Glabal.
CHAOS: The Glabal were brutes. But I'm not complaining. I killed most of them. And I could remember seeing you, if you have as sharp a memory as I.
SEPHIROTH: I just cleared 'em off earth. Humans should be thanking me. If it wasn't for me, they would still be 2nd Course Freeroaming Meals. I didn't acually create The stuff I mentioned though. I spawned them from other universes. However, I did Extinct lots of Species of Animals, including the Barrel Tongues. The meat tasted like... crap.
{Suddenly, the DeLorean pops into existence next to everyone. Chwoka climbs out}
CHWOKA: Hey, cool, I'm on screen again! {looks at screen} NOTICE ME. {looks towards everybody else} So, who are you?
SEPHIROTH: I'm... The guy who's gonna kick you in the butt. {Does it really hard to Chwoka, with a 10000000000000000000000000KG Titanium Boot.}
CHAOS: How do we know he's not an ally?
ZNEX: Dunno. Anyway, I'll say thank you for us. {extends hand to Sephiroth}
SEPHIROTH: I just had a feeling. I felt like he had transformed wikihood into.... I just can't say it. Anyway, shouldn't we be looking for the Faux-Chaos, or where he came from?
{Chwoka parachutes down right back where he was}
CHWOKA: Me? Transforming Wikihood? If anything, you've transformed Wikihood! So, seriously, what is going on here? What's the plot? What's the dealio or however you new guys say it?
{long pause}
CHWOKA: So, you guys don't even know? How pathetic.
{Chwoka gets in the DeLorean}
CHWOKA: Before I go, anybody wanna go kill the bad guy with me?
ZNEX: But we don't even know where he is!
HIGH PRIEST: Actually, we do.
SEPHIROTH: We do?
CHWOKA: Awesome. I'm assuming he has very, very strong defense on the outside, is this correct?
SEPHIROTH: We're not entirely sure. For all we know, he might already be dead.
CHWOKA: You guys certainly are uncertain lil' buggers. Seriously, who wants to come with me? We've got room for 2 more people.
SEPHIROTH: Hmm... I guess you are trustable enough. However, I'm not sure on travelling to a universe in an Old, Overused Car.
CHWOKA: OLD? It's only 23 years old, possibly 34 if you count the time travel! Now come on, it's not going to fall apart.
SEPHIROTH: 34? That explains why it looks like a car that's been handed down from Dad to son.
CHWOKA: Well, if that's your attitude towards this beauty, then NO. You don't get to help utterly destroy the monster through time exploits and a little help from my friends. So there. Anyway, if somebody could point me in the general direction of whoever the bad guy is, I'd be much obliged.
HIGH PRIEST: Actually...
{Close-up on the High Priest's mouth.}
HIGH PRIEST: It's me.
{The cave starts to vibrate as the opening to the cave closes with a loud thump. The small cave then lights up as the High Priest transforms into a more powerful and bigger Demon Chaos. The cave also becomes larger.}
THE FIRST CHAOS: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! Who better to be the wisest being in all the universes than the most powerful being in all the universes?
{The crystal starts to vibrate, and flies out of FF7 Sephiroth's hands. Despite his efforts, it returns to the first Chaos and explodes in a cloud of red gas, that flies into the area where the heart usually is.}
THE FIRST CHAOS: Heh heh heh, I practically called you all here.
SEPHIROTH: That explains why you know a lot. At first, I thought you stalked Chaos. ........Crap. I told you some secret information. You're not gonna enslave Sharoth, and Earth, are you? If so... {Gets out a little device, and presses some buttons in a certain musical order. He then puts the device away.} There we go!
FF7 SEPHIROTH: Oh Crap! I just got that crystal!! NOBODY STEALS FROM ME!! By the way Chwoka, that car could do a little work. There's a scratch there, and there, and a little rust stain there, and a dirt patch there... ....... Anyway, {To normal Chaos.} Chaos! Aren't you gonna do something about this Chaos?!
CHWOKA: This car needs work? What are you talking about? {laughs, closes the door, and hits the gas pedal}
{cut to the past. Chwoka has just been hit by Sephiroth. Present Chwoka drives straight over the fake High Priest and stops}
PRESENT CHWOKA: {sticks head out window} He was the bad guy in disguise. By the way, I come from about 1 minute in the future, when he revealed himself, thinking he was invincible. This car ain't lookin' bad NOW, I bet. {hits the gas pedal and goes Back to the Future.}
{Past Chwoka lands. Cut to the newly-altered present. Chwoka arrives and climbs out.}
CHWOKA: So, now that we've got that plot over with, what next?
{Everythings the Same, with The First Chaos looking at him with a nasty look on his face. He then picks up the Delorean, and crushes it into dust.}
FF7 SEPHIROTH: We didn't believe you until now.
CHWOKA: What the hell? Time does not fix itself! :psyduck: How did he get to this?
FIRST CHAOS: I am the First Chaos. Don't you think I know how to do that?
CHWOKA: Well, if I changed time, you would have no memory of the alternate timeline, so no. You wouldn't remember what it was like in the other timeline. Nobody but the time-traveler would.
{long pause (OOC: Why do you guys hardly ever answer my questions?)}
CHWOKA: If you can't answer it, then-{everything changes back to the reality where Chwoka ran over High Priest.}-reality is going to revert to the one...where...I...ranyouover. Woo! So, seriously guys, what are we doing next?
{Everything starts flashing, and then, everyone, except the First Chaos is in a tomb, chained to a wall.}
FIRST CHAOS: You think you are 2 Steps ahead of me, but I have the game board!
FF7 SEPHIROTH: What are you talking about?
FIRST CHAOS: I mean.. Well, look above. {Everyone looks above, to see they are game pieces in a gameboard.}
SEPHIROTH: What?!
FIRST CHAOS: Welcome to Demon World!
SEPHIROTH: Demon World?
FIRST CHAOS: It's a little game I made. Except, if you lose, you die.
{Cuts to Chaos, looking at the board.}
CHAOS: "First Chaos"? Pfft. I'm the oldest being in this pitiful existence. Now, how do we play?
???: Who said you were playing that?
{Cuts to Joseph, outside the cave, with a metal mask over his face, making him speak like Red X from Teen Titans, and tons of feathers growing out of him.}
JOSEPH: You're going to finish our battle. Now.
{Joseph then turns into Angel Joseph.}
JOSEPH: Come and get me.
{Chaos turns into Demon Chaos, and the two tackle each other, and fly away.}
CHWOKA: A game board. Where you can die. {pause} What is this, like, every faux-psychological anime EVER MADE? I mean, this doesn't even answer my question about how they managed to keep their memories in the altered timeline. The least you could have done was technobabble! But no, you just alter reality with your "HAR HAR I AM A GOD YOU CAN'T DEFEAT ME BECAUSE THE PERSON WHO WRITES ME WANTS HIS SELF-INSERT CHARACTER TO BEST ME" powers which have 0 explanation, which trumps my complex time-altering scheme that actually has an explanation. LOGIC POWER...ACTIVATE!
{Cut to the altered timeline, where First Chaos is dead, and nobody has any memory of the unaltered timeline.}
CHWOKA: Jesus Christ, guys. What the hell? {Chwoka goes into his car} If you need me, I'll be talking with somebody through the internet.
{WHITEWASH!}
CHWOKA: Wow, hey, awesome. {knocks on monitor} Um, hello, real people? Uh, I'm looking for whoever wrote that "First Chaos" guy up. I need to have a word with him.
{Cuts to Angel Joseph and Demon Chaos.}
ANGEL JOSEPH: Think you're friends will be alright back there?
DEMON CHAOS: By now, Chwoka's pulled some form of idiot timeline alteration that everyone will deny forgetting.
'{WHITEWASH AGAIN!}
CHWOKA: {talking to Joseph and Chaos} Who is more idiotic, the man who makes a great plan, or the man who simply ignores said plan working?
SEPHIROTH: {Appears behind Chwoka and picks him up. He then keeps punching him in the face, until he throws him down on the ground. He then starts kicking him, and lifts him up, in which he kicks him down again. He throws a Ki Blast at him.} GRR!!!!
CHWOKA: Ow! What the hell!? What's making you so angry? I saved the day!
CHAOS: They both die. Why wonder when they can be replaced? Then it starts again.
SEPHIROTH: What? SAVED THE DAY? SAVED THE DAY!?!?! YOU RUINED THE WHOLE BASIS OF THE EPISODE BY RANDOMLY POPPING IN, AND KILLING THE VILLAIN, WHO WAS THE WHOLE FOCUS OF THE EPISODE!! YOU'RE MAKING ME ANGRY!!!
CHAOS: Me and Joseph are going back to the Invincible. We're taking off in 2 hours. See ya.
{Chaos and Joseph walk back to the Invincible.}
CHWOKA: I killed the bad guy because he revealed himself at an inopportune moment. What, don't you WANT to win? Or am I not allowed to do anything logical at all, because it impairs your Oh-So-Thought-Out plans with loopholes and cliches from snatching you all the glory! I'm just a new guy who was trying to weasel himself into the plot. I knew he was the bad guy, so why not just kill him before he can kill you? I know it skips Cliche Death Trap H-9, but honestly, if you come up with creative solutions for problems, shouldn't that be praised, not punished? (OOC: #wikiuserwiki, anybody?)
SEPHIROTH: I know the solution to this problem.
{Everything turns back, to where the First Chaos was just revealed.}
FIRST CHAOS: I AM THE FIRST CHAOS!!!
CHWOKA: What the HELL? You just IGNORE all I do! Where did you get the powers? Where did they come from? You have no right to do this at all!.
{Cuts to the Invincible.}
CHAOS: Seriously, why can't these writers just MAKE, UP, THEIR, MIND!
JOSEPH: Whatever.
FF7 SEPHIROTH: Well, I think it's staying now. I came here during the bickering.
CHAOS: No! Forget it! They can't make up their feeble mortal minds. I'm leaving, and I'm taking The Ark, and the rest of the episode with me!
{Chaos pilots the Invincible away, back into the wormhole. Everything turns black.}
THE END!
