User:Mitchell/Emails/1

Overview

Mitchell Email #1: dates

Mitchell and Elly move into a new apartment, only to see that someone already lives there. Ignoring Homsar, Mitchell tries to answer an email, something he soon realizes he hasn't done in a very long time.

Cast (in order of appearance): Mitchell Smith, Elly Parker, Homsar, Trinity003 (Mitchell's computer), Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Strong Mad, The Cheat, Strong Sad

Transcript

{Open up to a view of Bubs’ Concession Stand, as it zooms out and the camera pans to the side and goes behind the stand in a very three-dimensional style, Bubs can briefly be seen yelling at something before he goes off-screen. The camera then zooms in on a large building in the distance. Fades in to a teenage boy with messy blonde hair reaching just passed his neck, carrying a laptop computer and placing it on the desk.}

MITCHELL: Ugh, wow. That was heavy. I guess this makes us, the first humans in Free Country, USA.

{The camera zooms out to show a skinny female with blonde hair, done in a ponytail similar to Marzipan’s with a blue ribbon in her hair wearing a cyan shirt and a darker-shaded blue skirt.}

ELLY: What about Crack Stuntman?

MITCHELL: He doesn’t live in Free Country, USA though. He just visits from time to time.

{Mitchell says this as he scratches his head, walking over to a pile of boxes in the corner of the room and lifts one, revealing Homsar behind it. Mitchell jumps back frightened, dropping the box.}

MITCHELL: Ah! Elly, what on Earth is that? How did it get in here?"

HOMSAR: AaAaAaAaAaAaA! Doing the standing around, I greetings you.

ELLY: {giggles} Aww, it's so cute.

{Mitchell steps back, pointing at it, weirdly.}

MITCHELL: Kill it, kill it.

{Elly just simply rolls her eyes and kneels down until she is at eye-level with Homsar and looks at him with a polite smile.}

ELLY: Hello, my name is Elly. What is your name?

HOMSAR: I'm Homsar! The captain of the gravy train.

{Elly just nods gently and smiles, she stands up and walks over to Mitchell and leans forward, whispering inside his ear.}

ELLY: {whispers} Don't worry about this, Mitch. I'll handle it. Why don't you go check your emails?

MITCHELL: Well, okay then.

{Mitchell responds with a simple nod and walks over to his computer, sitting down in his usual chair and presses a button which starts up the computer. A pixelated female face, resembling Elly's without the ponytail, appears on-screen.}

COMPUTER: {robotic feminine voice} Hello, Mitchell.

MITCHELL: Show me my emails, please.

{The pixelated female face disappears and “Running MS-DOS…” appears onscreen, and then once it is gone, there is a period of silence and an email pops up.}

subject: dating

To Mitchell:
So, with more than one girl around, do you ever go on dates?
I mean, with all those other guys around, there's gotta be competition.

- Zippy P.

{Once he reaches the word “competition” he bursts out laughing and continues to do so for a little while, before he reads out the name of the person who sent the email.}

MITCHELL: Zippy, you win the gold medal. That is just hilarious. This has got to be the best first email I have ever done. {typing} To answer your question, yes. I have been on dates, but never with any of the Free Country, USA women. Doesn’t seem to be many people living here, how many girls could there be?

{Mitchell presses enter, clearing the screen of words and resumes typing.}

MITCHELL: {typing} Regardless, I have been on dates before. Heck, I even dated my friend Elly once, but we decided a while ago that it wasn’t working out, so now we’re just friends with priv—

HOMSAR: DaAaAaAa! Mental asylum!

{Zoom out, Mitchell turns in his chair, so that he is looking directly at Homsar now, with a raised eyebrow, confused.}

MITCHELL: {calls out} Elly, I thought you were going to deal with this little midget.

{At that moment, a knock at the door is heard. Mitchell turns his head back towards the door in confusion.}

MITCHELL: Huh? Who could that be?

{Camera pans to the right, as Mitchell gets out of his chair and walks to the door and then opens it. Homestar Runner is there with an empty basket.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {with speech impediment} Hello, sir. Would you like to donate to a worthy cause? We are trying to put guns in the hands of several Pom Poms. Would you be interested?

MITCHELL: Urm, well, thank you. But, I—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: ‘’{interrupts}’’ Nope? Well then, how about a pamphlet?

{As Homestar says this, he gets out a pamphlet from behind his torso and presents it. At this point, Mitchell does not respond and his eyes just widen, as Homsar ‘waddles’ on-screen. Mitchell looks at Homestar, then at Homsar, then back at Homestar again, then back at Homsar, before grabbing on to his head, as if going insane.}

MITCHELL: Oh my crap! They’re multiplying!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {short pause} You sir, have no manners.

{Homestar walks off and Homsar follows him. Both go off-screen.}

MITCHELL: Oh, they left. {smiles} Heh, I guess that’s the easiest way to get rid of them. {turns back} Okay, back to the email.

{Mitchell walks back to his computer, sitting down again, and resumes typing.}

MITCHELL: Before I can go on a date, I’d first need to know what the people of this town do in their spare time. I’ve heard of this band called ‘Cool Tapes’, they’re lead singer is female. Maybe, I’ll have a chance with her. Who knows?

{Mitchell then gets up and walks off, as he briefly looks back and around the room to make sure Homsar is gone. Once he confirms the absence of Homsar, he nods with a satisfied grin and walks out. Screen wipe to Marzipan, Strong Mad and The Cheat playing on a stage in the middle of the field.}

MARZIPAN: {singing} Keep it down with that real cool flavor, me and The Cheat and our bass player. Rockin' the spot. Yeah, we're rockin' the spot.

{As the song ends, Mitchell approaches the stage, but Strong Sad wearing a yellow jacket stops him. Another song starts up.}

STRONG SAD: Woah there, buddy. I've never seen you around here before.

MITCHELL: That's because I have recently moved here from Australia. It is very nice to meet you, I assume you are... hmm, beady cartoon eyes, quite large, no sign of any neck. You must be Strong Mad.

STRONG SAD: {offended} What!? No, I'm Strong Sad.

MITCHELL: Oh, well, what are you doing here? Aren't you scheduled for your daily 'beating-up' by 'Strong Bad'.

{Mitchell does quotation signs with his fingers when he says "beating-up" and "Strong Bad" and puts emphasis on those words.}

STRONG SAD: {surprised, worried} Huh? What? How'd you know about that?

MITCHELL: {points out towards the distance} There are papers posted all over town. On walls, on tress. Everywhere.

{Pan over to view a bush that has a paper on it saying "Live Beating-Ups of Strong Sad by Strong Bad", with the date reading "15th of March, 2009". On it, is a picture of Strong Sad being punched by a cartoony fist.}

STRONG SAD: {sighs heavily} What do you want here? Are you just trying to make my life more of a misery then it already is?

MITCHELL: No, I'm here to meet the lead singer for "Cool Tapes".

STRONG SAD: You think you can just casually walk up on stage and interrupt their performance?

MITCHELL: {smiles} I'll give you some leftover pizza.

{Mitchell gets out a slimey old dirty slice of pizza with flies buzzing around it and quite clearly has a pile of dust on it.}

STRONG SAD: {holds head away in disgust} Eeeuuurrrgh! You expect me to be stupid and desperate enough to eat something as disgusting and--

{Brief pause.}

STRONG SAD: Okay, fine. I'll take it.

{Strong Sad swipes the pizza and walks off. Cool Tapes' music stops.}

MITCHELL: Heh, I knew that'd work...fatty. {grins} I like that guy's style. Maybe I will become friends with him in a later email and then go to the depths of the universe and shoots down robots owned by Dr. Wily, but first I'm going to--

{Mitchell turns to run, but bumps into Marzipan. The two fall to the ground in opposite directions.}

MITCHELL: Ow, who the crap are you, running into me like that!?

{The screen fades to black and then it cuts back to Mitchell's unnamed laptop computer which displays white text on it's screen saying "Click here to complain, ask a question or just simply send an email to Mitchell".}

MITCHELL: {off-screen} No, seriously. Who on Earth was that!? It seemed like a mix between a bell and a baseball bat. I am seriously scared of this place...

Fun Facts

• Mitchell makes a brief reference to Dr. Wily, the main antagonist of the Mega Man classic series.
• Though it may be short, this is just to simply introduce the characters and the email is not actually answered, but unlike my previous email shows. I left it that way on purpose, so it could be re-visited in a later email.