User:Conchris/Random Stuff/story1

Summary

The story of how Newsman McNewsman finds out how Conchris does it, the inventing and what not... or not.

Story

"Crap!" I said, as I drop the hot cup of coffee on my lap as I type up my report.

I am Newsman McNewsman, typing the report on the computer at home. Why? Because I was on the verge of being fired out of a cannon. Okay, that last part about being fired out of a cannon isn't true but I am on the verge of being fired. It's all because of that... THAT... MONSTER! Bob's his name, he has been stealing my spotlight, my fangirls and, soon, my job. I was writing a report in hopes of staying on with my job.

The report? Well, it's about this one man who lives in Wikity, what was his name? Oh yeah, Conchris. He's that mysterious inventor guy that everybody loves to go on about and how he stars in his own show that he calls "Conshow" which is an incredibly lame title to say the least.

I let the hot coffee sit on my lap for a bit before yelping in pain and then hopping around the house to find paper towels whilst ignoring the searing pain that is now on my legs.

After I had done that, I sat back down and looked at the report. I tried to make heads and tails of all the sources that I had found, some say that he is just an ordinary inventor, others say that he pays omni-potent beings to make his stuff for him and others say that he uses a magical wrench, which may or may not have been stolen from a bird at one stage.

I slammed my head against the desk as hard as I could, the only words that came out of my mouth were:

"I'm going to get fired."

I really am serious. My report was nothing but jumbled letters on the screen, even a hobo wouldn't make heads OR tails from it. I was going to get fired for sure until, it hit me.
No, not the idea, the bowling pin that I had perched precariously on the top of the shelf above my computer. And THEN it hit me. I was going to find out the truth behind this mysterious inventor. I tried to find out the truth about that girl once... what was her name? Cieeia "Katie" Goldilin, I presume? Yes. But all I got was a well aimed solar-powered laser to the crotch, in which it took MONTHS before I recovered, my crotch has never been the same since.

I got up from my desk, went downstairs, put on my truth-finding gear, which looks surprisingly similar to my regular clothes and then I opened the front door and went outside. The streets were rather cold at night, but I didn't care. I walked on down in the general direction of that household, his house of course.

When I got there, I quickly dashed to the back side of the house and began to scope out a way to the basement, which is where this man does most of his experiments.

As I looked about I saw a light come on and then I saw a rather tired man walk into the kitchen (I could see it through the window) and opened the nearby window. He looked around for a bit and then suddenly looked at me.
I was suddenly taken aback, has he spotted me? What will he do next?
Instead, he shrugs and walks off, leaving the window open.

I quickly darted for the window and then jumped through it, in which I then landed face-first with the table, causing several plates (at least, I think they were) to fall to the floor.

I could hear the man's voice say, "Who was that?"

The man darted over and inspected the plate carnage that I left. I quickly scrambled for the cupboard, which I then opened and hid in. I watched the green-haired man's movements carefully for a while before he stops searching and walks off, but not before closing the window and turning off the light. I sighed with relief and slowly clamoured out from the cupboard. I then crept slowly to the basement, but not before I accidentally turned the TV on, full blast and all.

I was blown back by the sudden sound wave that was created by the picture box. When I looked up, I saw that it was on the News channel and you wouldn't believe who was hosting it.

BOB! THAT FREAKING FRICK FRACK!

"As we all know, Mayor Spyden has commented that today he will save Wikity from recession somehow and not share the secret with the rest of the world! More after this."

I slowly reached for the remote just as the advertisement for that damn DamnTow came on. As soon as I picked up the remote, I tossed it at the power button, turning the TV off. I breathed a sigh of relief for a second as I looked around to see if anyone saw me.

Apparently not, as I saw nothing coming from the stairs or the kitchen.

I got up from the sofa (couch, seatee... WHATEVER!) and crept really slowly towards the door and then I placed my ear against said door. All I heard from the door was the sounds of construction going on down there.

I knew I had found my goal, so I opened the door (slowly, mind you) and slowly crept downstairs... before I fell and landed face-first into the bottom step. I could hear the sounds much more clearly, though.

I got up and looked around for the source of the noise and found the man himself with three strange looking creatures. One of them looked a bit like Bob, only a little bit taller and his ears are a bit floppy. Now, I didn't know what the other two creatures were but I could assume that they were either the man's creations or more of those weird aliens from outer space. I'm getting sick of those aliens coming into the country like they own the dang place.

I observed closely as they worked on some kind of machine, I couldn't really tell what it was at first but...

And then the machine hit quarter-life and then the room slowly become vaporised.

MORE SOON, WHEN I GET BORED