Total Drama Island: Bluefox Productions Edition/13

Part 1: The Extremity

{Cut to the dock}

CHRIS: Last time on Total Drama Island...

{flashback to scenes from the previous episode}

CHRIS: Chef had a challenge plotted out that would make an onion cry; a treacherous boot camp. Campers lifted heavy canoes, ate who knows what, wrote tedious essays, passed a difficult obstacle course, and hung out in a tree. Literally. The Bass and the Gophers worked their butts off, well, except for Pter, who made it seem like a breeze. At the end, Ashley was the last one standing, and it was bye-bye Pter.

{Cut back to Chris}

CHRIS: Are the Killer Bass finally tying loose ends? Are the Screaming Gophers going to lose it? Well, you can totally find out tonight. Don't miss out on the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, on TOTAL...DRAMA...ISLAND!

{Cue the opening}

{Cut to the Killer Bass cabin}

LUCAS: Okay, team. We've got another challenge ahead of us. Let's kick some Gopher ass.

{Cut to a shot of Tex, lying on his bed, looking rather down}

ASHLEY: Hey, Tex! Aren't you coming to breakfast? I hear it's actually good this time!

TEX: I'm not hungry right now...

ASHLEY: What's on your mind? You can tell me.

TEX: Well, remember back in the Deer Hunter challenge, I told you about the accident and all? Yeah. That's what's on my mind.

ASHLEY: I don't like seeing you sad anymore...which is why I'm going to find them.

TEX: Ashley, it's near impossible. I don't even remember where it happened!

ASHLEY: Still we can't give up. After the challenge, if both of us are still in, we'll hunt!

TEX: Thanks, Ash. You're a real friend.

ASHLEY: Now let's go win us a challenge!

{Cut to the Beach}

CHRIS: Okay, campers. Your challenge today is the EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEME Triple Challenge! You will be participating in three different events. There's the EXTREME Sofa Bed Skydive, the EXTREME Moose Ride, and the EXTREME Sea-Doo Water Ski Race. How these work, I'll explain later. Anyway, I'll give you time before the challenge.

FOXX: Wait, time for what?

CHRIS: I don't know...fill out insurance forms, write your will, file some lawsuits if you like.

RYAN: Something tells me we're going to die now.

CHRIS: It's possible! Anyway, the lucky thing is not all of you have to do the extreme part of the challenge.

TOM: OH THANK YOU, HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS CHRIST!

{Cut to Heaven}

MARY: No problem.

JESUS: It's the least we could do.

{Cut back}

CHRIS: Campers, get ready!

{Outhouse Cam: Kale}

KALE: {writing on a paper} "To my beloved friend Campy...I leave you...

{Outhouse Cam: Foxx}

FOXX: I knew this was going to be it. I knew I was going to die on this campground somehow. But, might as well go out with a bang.

{Cut to the Beach, a plane is mounted}

CHRIS: First up, the EXTREME Sofa Bed Skydive. We'll get Ryan to dive for the Bass, and Bruce, you'll jump for the Gophers. The rest of you will have to push your sofa bed far enough so that your skydiver will land. Okay, let's go!

{Cut to the skies, Chris is flying the plane while Ryan and Bruce are ready to dive}

RYAN: Okay, I just have to pull the cord at the right time...and the parachute will come out.

BRUCE: I...I can't do this.

RYAN: Bruce, it's okay. Skydiving's scary at first, but it's a thrill when you-

{Ryan starts to stumble}

RYAN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

{Cut to the Beach, the Bass are pushing their sofa bed}

LUCAS: Come on, Tex! Push faster! Ryan's life is at stake!

TEX: I wish I could!

ASHLEY: Give the guy a break! He was in an accident!

LUCAS: Ashley! This is a life or death situation! Ryan could die!

{Cut to the Gophers pushing their sofa bed}

KALE: Bruce! I hope he's okay...

JESS: He's probably fine!

{Cut to the plane}

BRUCE: Here goes...

{Bruce jumps down, screaming}

KALE: PULL THE CORD!

BRUCE: Cord! Right!

{Bruce pulls the cord and it snaps}

BRUCE: {bleep}. AAAAH!

{All of a sudden, Bruce's parachute opens, and he sails away}

BRUCE: My parachute! I'm alive! YEEEEEEHAAAA!

{Bruce lands on a sofa bed}

BRUCE: Man, that was AWESOME!

LUCAS: Wait...BRUCE?! We caught Bruce?

CHRIS: That's a point for the Gophers, even though Bruce landed on the wrong bed! Now we just have to wait for-

{CRASH!}

CHRIS: Ryan?

{There is a big, Ryan-shaped hole in the ground, Ryan pops out of it}

RYAN: Am I still alive now? {Falls over}

Part 2: A Mad Moose and Scary Skiing

{Cut to a ranch area}

CHRIS: Welcome to the second challenge. So far the score is one for the Gophers, and zero for the Bass. Next up, we have the EXTREME Moose Ride. Whoever can stay on these angry moose-

BRUCE: It's moosen! MOOSEN!

CHRIS: Sorry, Bruce. "Moosen" is not the plural of "moose." Anyway, whoever can stay on their moose for 10 seconds wins. Foxx, you'll ride for the Gophers. Lucas, ride for the Bass.

{Cut to Foxx on a moose}

FOXX: Okay, big guy. Just cooperate and we'll-

{Chef opens the gate, and kicks the moose. The moose gets furious}

FOXX: Oh sh...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

{Foxx flies off and lands next to Chris}

CHRIS: Only 4 seconds. Lucas...it's your turn.

LUCAS: Time for me to show you how to ride!

{Chef opens the gate and ticks off the moose}

LUCAS: Woah! AAAH! WOOAH! SOMEONE STOP THIS THING!

{LUCAS flies off and lands in a tree}

CHRIS: Hm...11 seconds! The Bass win!

{The Killer Bass cheer}

FENRI: Way to ride, Lucas! Lucas?

TEX: Where'd he go?

CHRIS: Onward to the final challenge! The EXTREME Sea-Doo Waterskiing!

{Cut to a mud track ridden with green and red flags}

CHRIS: Campers will have to waterski on mud and collect all five flags before crossing the finish line. The twist is, the driver will be on the opposite team than the skiier! Tom, you'll ski for the Gophers while Tex drives you, and Fenri will ski for the Bass while driven by Kale. Let's go!

ELYSSA: Tex, you know how to drive one of these?

TEX: {nervously} Uh...yeah! Sure I do!

CHRIS: Aaaaaaaaaand...GO!

{Tex and Tom dart off}

{Tom collects the first two flags, Tex is driving hectically}

TEX: Woah! WAH!

CHRIS: Two flags for the Gophers...

TOM: Score!

{Tom grabs the third flag}

CHRIS: Three!

TEX: There's only one way out...

{Tom grabs the last two flags}

CHRIS: Four! Five! Tex has to cross the line noW!

TEX: Eat this, kid!

{Tex goes careening into a nearby tree and jumps off before collision. Tom's rope snaps and he goes rolling toward the finish line. Tom crosses the finish}

CHRIS: And that's a point for the Gophers! If the Bass get this, it'll be tied! Ready? GO!

{Fenri and Kale's team dart off}

CHRIS: Fenri approaches the first flag, and takes it!

{Fenri grabs the first flag}

KALE: There's no way I'll let him win.

CHRIS: Two flags for Bass!

ASHLEY: Come on, Fenri! You can do it!

CHRIS: Fenri has all five flags!

KALE: Oh no you don't!

{Kale ramps off of a rock and does a 360-degree spin with the jetski. Fenri's rope snaps and he is slingshot into a tree}

FENRI: OW! I LANDED ON MY ICE SPEARS!

{Kale stops on the track}

CHRIS: And that's a point for the Screaming Gophers! They win!

BRUCE: Nice plan, Kale!

TOM: That was impressive!

TEX: Ashley...I...

ASHLEY: It's okay. You lost, but I still like you. {hugs Tex}

{Cut to some random section of the woods, Lucas is walking. He trips on something and then gets up to look at it.}

LUCAS: It can't be...

Part 3: Brother, my Brother

{Cut to the Campfire}

CHRIS: Campers, your votes are in. Whoever does not recieve a marshmallow tonight must walk the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and never come back. That means it's over for you.

{All of the Killer Bass are there but Lucas}

CHRIS: There were a lot of mixed votes...but this is how it goes. The first marshmallow goes to...Fenri.

{Fenri recieves his marshmallow}

CHRIS: Elyssa.

CHRIS: Ashley.

CHRIS: When he gets back...Lucas.

{Tex and Ryan look at each other nervously.}

CHRIS: This is the last marshmallow. One of you will be going home. And the last marshmallow goes to...

{Ryan has his fingers crossed. Tex is shaking}

CHRIS: Ryan.

{Tex hangs his head in depression}

CHRIS: Sorry, man. You gotta go.

ASHLEY: Tex...I'll miss you.

TEX: So will I. But promise me this. Promise me that you'll fight hard and keep strong without me. I hope to see you again, and it's possible I'll see you come with a check for 100 grand!

ASHLEY: Oh, Tex... {hugs him}

LUCAS: BRO!

TEX: Oh, joy. My brother's here to laugh at my failure.

LUCAS: Wrong, dude. I came to give you...hm...a parting gift.

TEX: Is...that?!

ASHLEY: It's your missing legs!

TEX: Lucas...after all we've fought...

LUCAS: I just thought I'd do something nice for you. I'll miss having you here.

TEX: Thanks, bro.

ASHLEY: Hey, if you don't wanna walk alone...I'll come too.

TEX: Thanks, Ashley.

{The two walk to the Boat of Losers, and before Tex gets on, they sit down and hold hands. They hug, and then Tex walks (OMG!) to the Boat of Losers. He starts waving to Lucas and Ashley, but the push of the boat driving away causes him to stumble and fall down.

TEX: Right...I need to officially reattach it first...

{Cue credits}

Fun Facts

• HOLY SHIZZLE TEX HAS LEGS NAO
• The whole moosen thing is a Brian Reagan reference.