(even if you aren't vegan)
The Super Cryptogamer Super Show!/EP7
{open: a golf course, with gray grass. Shadow Keith Pom and Shadowgamer are here. SG hands SKP a 3 wood, and SKP begins to swing it. As he does, he whacks SG in the head with it.}
SKP: Fore! {swings}
SG: {staggering back} I think I have a concussion...
SKP: Oops. Sorry.
{swings it, but KO's SG}
SG: {weakly} Owwwww...
SKP: Dammit! I always hit them! Tell you what, I'll let you teach my kids at the school I own.
SG: I... just won't question the myriad of things wrong with that.
{Raiku pops in.}
RAIKU: Welcome to Horribly Evil Golf Courses! {pops out}
SG: {rubs eyes} ...What.
{cut to SG at a kindergarten room tied in a chair and tipped over with kids running all over}
{kid comes up to his face}
KID: You're UGLY!
{kicks him in the nose}
SG: Careful, now, little boy-slash-girl, I was the former bodyguard and wizard to the overlord!
{kicks him again}
KID: Daddy says if you are stupid, he would take away your powers!
SG: "Daddy" says a lot of things... I know a secret or two...
{kicks him a third time}
KID: Daddy figured out your secrets!
{repeatedly kicks him}
RAIKU: GO KID!
SG: But do you know Big Br- Er, "Daddy"'s secrets?
KID: {suspisous} What secrets?
SG: Well, everything you know is a lie. The stuff they teach you is a lie. Your medication is a lie. The cake is a lie. Plus, he likes to put on a big ol' pink bunny suit and tango.
KID: I want a new daddy!
SG: Will you help me get to the Inverse Dimension, then?
KID: Daddy, I can do ANTHING.
SG: Uh... Good. But, we'll need some help. {claps hands; shadow versions of Squatcha, Zoe, Utarefson, Vid, Raiku, All the VG group, Racer, and Clovington show up.} Impressive, eh? Alright, guys, let's go have a chat with my good friend NPS...
{cut to all of them but the kid tied up, hanging over a tiger}
NPS: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
SHADOW RAIKU: "We are hanging over a cat, get us back on the welcome mat" {they are brought down.}
SG: Nice jorb, ya stupid robot. You got us from dnagling over a tiger, to right next to a tiger. Reeeeaaal nice.
{tiger suddenly walks offscreen. Cut to the tiger heading for a treat paced by the kid}
SG: Wow, good job kid! Now let's— NPS is right behind me, isn't he?
NPS: But soon I'll be behind a corpse.
SHADOW RAIKU: I don't know any spells that get rid of a psychopath.
SHADOW VID: {looks at Shadow Utarefson}
SU: HINDENBURG!
SV: {pulls out a lighter}
{NPS turns the whole shadow VG group to ashes}
THE REST: Aw, hell.
SHADOW RAIKU: REVERSO! {everyone turns back to normal.}
{NPS does it again}