The Super Cryptogamer Super Show!/EP2

Transcript

{open: outside the Yates. No one is here. A wind blows, and all is still for a moment. Suddenly, a black van pulls up. The silhouetted occupant walks up to the front door. Gunshots are heard. The silhouette exits, carrying a covered stretcher that is deposited in the trunk. The figure gets in the van and drives off. Cut to a cliff. The stranger gets out of the van, and pushes it off. Zoom in on the mysterious shadow, who is revealed to be... Cryptogamer.}

CG: HAHAHAHA Did you guys really think that the mafia killed me? ...I know, this opening scene was terrible. {sighs and walks off. We see Jam, hiding in a nearby bush.}

JAM: Chu chu chu chu chu chu chu chu chu chu chu (I know what you did this summer, Cryptopher. BWAHAHAHA Oh who am I kidding he was right.)

{Cue opening theme. Cut to outside the motel. Everyone is here.}

CG: Okay so as you guys know part of the joint was destroyed in the last episode. So we have to find some way to make money to do the repairs. And by we I mean you guys. So begin with the ideas.

VID: Black ops!

CG: {shudders} N-no. J-just no.

SHADOWGAMER: Black magic!

CG: Whatno.

PIXEL: Kill a dragon!

BOB: Yeah!

CG: Whatno.

JAM: Chu chu chu chu chu chu chu! (Stop being such a whiny arse!)

CG: Whatno.

UTAREFSON: LEMONADE!

CG: Whatno.

CLOVINGTON: Learn to use proper English, you pompous twit!

CG: Whatno.

VID: {jumps in front of Crypto} Okay, this is getting nowhere. Shadow, get your skull.

SG: Good idea. {SG goes inside, After a while, he comes back holding his skull}

SKULL: Hey, wassup, mon?

VID: We need a way to make money to repair the hotel. And, possibly, get rid of that creepy hobo.

{Cut to Hammaker, standing just off the stage.}

HAMMAKER: {mumbles}

SKULL: Okay, mon.

SG: ... ... ... ... ... Um, aren't you supposed to be singing some kinda Jamaican song-prophecy-whatever now?

SKULL: Sorry mon. Kinda hard to do when the author has writer's block.

SG: Well, make up something!

{Whatno}

SG: That ain't a song, you moron.

{Okay, fine sheesh. Um...}

SKULL: Get jobs where Cryptopher's sister works, mon.

VID: The hell you talkin' 'bout?! She's been missing for years!

SKULL: The hell you talkin' 'bout, mon. She works at the Subway like tree blocks from here.

{cut to the aforementioned Subway}

VID: {offscreen} What in the name of Sam Hill?

CG: {simultaeneously, offscreen} What? How in the-

L.U.S.C.A.-4: STATEMENT: THIS IS VERY IMPROBABLE.

{Cut to inside. Vid, CG, SG, and L.U.S.C.A.-4 are here.}

???: Welcome to Subway may I t- What the hell? Vid? And... Crypto?

VID: Hey, didja not recognize us, Zoe? So this is where you've been?

ZOE: Well, I had lived up narth for while, but I decided thatI should come back and check on my little bro. But, that's when tripwires and gattling guns come in.

CG: {Wellfaces}

ZOE: So, why are y'all still here?

VID: Oh. Right. We need money to fix the motel.

ZOE: But, what about the bank?

VID: Nah, man. Crypto's only got like $2.05 in there. See, that's where the tripwires and the gattling guns come in.

ZOE: Fine. At least I still have a couple billion. Let's go. {they walk off}

{cut to a while later. The gang is standing in front of the renovated motel.

ZOE: Now, about my payment...

CG: Here's a hobo. {throws Hammaker to Zoe}

ZOE: Ew no.

{Suddenly, a large white limo drives up. A very rich-looking person comes out.}

???? ?????: Hello, peoples. I think I can help.