(even if you aren't vegan)
The Idiot's Keeper/extra1
Here's a bonus story, starring the wiki's stupidest user and the Idiot's Keeper!
Homestar tiger was riding in a wheelbarrow, using a battery-powered fan to propel himself. He was riding down the sidewalk, speeding by Sephiroth's house, Pee Wee Herman's house, and some creepy guy's house. He nearly knocked Shadow Scythe off the sidewalk, and he sped by and high-fived 20eric08.
"Whee! I'm a speed demon in a messed-up way!" Homestar tiger screamed. But then his cart lost control and he made an immediate turn into a driveway.
"Oh, no."
"Oh, NO."
"OH, NO!"
"CAAAAR!"
Homestar tiger crashed into a car, and he was slung out of the car, right into an open garage. There was some screaming, then some clanking, then crashing, then it got quiet, then it turned into an ear-piercing shriek.
"Woah, I certainly have wrecked myself this time."
Shwoo was sitting in her house, reading her book. She heard a knock on the door.
"Come in."
The door opened and in came her best/stupidest friend, Homestar tiger.
"Oh, hi, Homestar tiiiii...HOLY CRAP!!"
Homestar tiger was in terrible looking shape. He had some of his body parts twisted around, he had a hammer in his eye, and some screwdrivers in his leg, and worst of all, a huge tree chopping axe going through his head. Amazingly, he wasn't bleeding.
"Homestar tiger, what happened?" Shwoo asked.
"I, uh, well, you see, I was fighting a dragon-" Homestar tiger made up.
"Wheelbarrow riding?"
"Yes."
"Well, doesn't that hurt?"
"No."
Shwoo got an irritated look on her face.
"Kinda."
Shwoo was annoyed.
"Okay, yes. AAAAUGH!" Homestar tiger screamed.
"Okay, okay, calm down. We can fix this." Shwoo grabbed the handle of the axe, and pulled it. Unfortunately, instead of removing the axe, she accidentally popped off Homestar tiger's head like he was just put together like a doll.
"Oh, brother, you got some problems."
Homestar tiger was sitting on Shwoo's couch, and Shwoo was wearing a stethoscope. "The doctor will see you now, tiger."
Shwoo pushed down on Homestar tiger's head and pulled on the axe to remove it. When she did, there was a huge hole in Homestar tiger's head left by the axe, and it was completely empty.
"Not surprising." Shwoo remarked.
Shwoo was sliding around Homestar tiger's twisted-backwards leg like a rubix cube section. Unfortunately, it unscrewed right off.
"Just... pop that back in." Homestar tiger said.
"Oooo...kay."
Shwoo was feeling Homestar tiger's chest with the stethoscope.
"This is strange... how come I can feel any pulses?" Shwoo asked.
"Oh, because I sold my heart." Homestar tiger replied.
Shwoo stared at Homestar tiger.
"It's a figure of speech!!" Shwoo screamed.
"Aw, crap."
Shwoo pulled out Homestar tiger's hammered eye and placed in a new one.
"Where did you get that other one?" Homestar tiger asked.
"Homestar Runner Supplies Inc.. I buy 'em in bulk because I know you damage yourself a lot."
"That's convenient!"
"I know, right?"
Shwoo was finally done wrapping Homestar tiger in bandages, and she put his feet back on the ground.
"There we go. All better." Shwoo said.
Homestar tiger thanked Shwoo and walked out the door, but then stopped.
"HEY! Where's my lollipop?"
Shwoo stared at him. Then she slammed the door and locked it.
"THE DOCTOR IS OUT!"
