The Choom Gang Riffs Noxigar's Riffs of The Choom Gang's Riffs/mft3kmain/Bell Quest/5

NOXIGAR: Hello, everyone!

BLUEBRY: hey

It's time to play "UNFUNNY JOKE REVOLUTION".

BLUEBRY: oh bitchin!

If you must know, it involves

BLUEBRY: :D

-Nah,

BLUEBRY: D:

not worth it to turn things into gameshow humour.

BLUEBRY: but i was soooo excited
SKUB: Did he seriously try and make fun of NachoMan minutes after his riffs were posted? I mean, that's—that's really petty of him.

SKULLB: Count your blessings, kids.

NOXIGAR: Start counting your blessings while you're at it.

BADSTAR: Where are they?

CHWOKA: Who are "they"?

ANTI-BLING: Those idiots,

SKULLB: Any idiots in particular?

they fell into their own trap!

{pan down to show H44WP and the newly released Pure Watashi are stuck in a pit}

CHWOKA: He can't see nor hear the people directly below him.

PURE WATASHI: Don't worry, once I'm Demon Bell, We'll break out of here!

CHWOKA: One insecure little trap. You shouldn't be able to break out of it.

{Pure Watashi transforms into Demon Bell and breaks out of the pit with H44}

BLUEBRY: That was quick.

NOXIGAR: She said, with disappointment in her eyes before departing with a metric ton of regret.

BLUEBRY: that was good, but the "metric ton" thing sounds nerdy. maybe something like "before departing with a mass of regret tugging at her heart."

IM A BELL: Crap.

{Demon Bell pushes everybody into the giant mutant rat pit the door shuts. Everthing dark. Only eyes are seen.}

BLUEBRY: IS EVERTHING DARK A PART OF SPOOK CLIFF?
CHWOKA: Become one with Spook Cliff.

BADSTAR: Bellson, you are stepping on my foot.

BELLSON: Uhh... that's not me!

MUTANT RAT: Screeee!!!!!

CHWOKA: I didn't see anything about the Mutant Rat entering, so I should assume he was there the entire time. Thus, part of the main cast. Or they could be in mutant-rat land, I don't know, they never described the setting.
SKULLB: Or, perhaps, it just phased into reality. That seems to be working for the author so far.

NOXIGAR: I thought the setting was described as SPOOK CLIFF.

BLUEBRY: SPOOK CLIFF
SKUB: SPOOK CLIFF

But that's just me.

BELLSON: Why dos everyhing want to bite my head?

BLUEBRY: Why dos everyhing have to me misspelled?
CHWOKA: I wouldn't immediately assume he wants to eat your head. If I were an inexplicably mutated rat, I would go for the feet first so they can't run away.

IM A BELL: Have you ever tasted your head?

VEGEROT:{weirded out} W-what do you mean by that?

BLUEBRY: Well, I thought the question was pretty straightforward.

NOXIGAR: Sarcasm from all angles of the board! ...it's not funny.

BLUEBRY: no its not

BADSTAR: Uhhh... lights please!

{Vegerot lights a match. Camera pans out to show a million giant mutan rats surrounding everybody.}

CHWOKA: Aha! They were in mutant-rat land, apparently! Or mutan-rat, as it may be.

BADSTAR: OH CRAP!!!

SKULLB: Fun fact: exclamation points =/= volume

NOXIGAR: Fun fact: Nobody cares.

BLUEBRY: okay
SKUB: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

HOMESCHOOL WINNER: Hold on. Ba-Weep Gra-Na-Weep Ninnibon!

CHWOKA: Klaptu Barada Niktu!

{one of the rats bites Ebeneezer's arm}

HOMESCHOOL: Why didn't it work? It worked in Transformers, but why not here?

CHWOKA: This, folks, is the smart character.

IM A BELL: NERD!

SKULLB: Coming from you?!

{Everybody runs away, but Bellson stays.}

BELLSON: Uhh... so who likes tacos?

SKULLB: Yeah, nice, nice. Gonna talk about waffles and pie next, o master of random comedy?

ALL RATS: We do!!!!!

BELLSON: Well, too bad!

BLUEBRY: Such charm.

{Bellson headbutts some of the rats. that sends some rats flying through the air. Rats charge at Bellson, but Bellson delivers a very painful Flying spin kick,

SKULLB: Oh, come on. Now he's just making stuff up.

NOXIGAR: Or he's poorly performing karate, to name one out of many martial arts being erroneously used in oh-so-many Hollywood films.

BLUEBRY: i swear to god you are ignatius j reilly
SKUB: Translate that for people who aren't familiar with what the fuck ever you're referencing.

which sends some rats flying. Some more rats charge at him, but he punches them in the stomach and sends an uppercut to their faces, which sends even more rats flying. The rats run away, scared to death.}

VEGEROT: WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO FIGHT LIKE THAT!?!?!?!?

BELLSON: Soul Reaper Academy.

BLUEBRY: Soul Raper Academy.
SKULLB: How eerily accurate.

IM A BELL: Hey, they don't teach you that type of fighting there! I should know. I teach there during my freetime. Ever notice how weak Kenpachi is?

BLUEBRY: Mary Sue.

VEGEROT:{weirded out} Weak?!!

{Bellson feels a tapping on his shoulder. He turns around. 100 hundred Extremeley big muscular rats are staring at him. Bellson sighs and starts beating the crap out of the rats.}

BELLSON: This is getting annoying.

BLUEBRY: OH YES IT IS

Heads up!

{Bellson hits a rat head into Im a bell with a tennis racket}

IM A BELL: Um... EWW!!!

SKULLB: How is this man not today's Hemingway or Twain? This writing... this writing... this writing is.

BADSTAR: Need any help, Bellson?

BELLSON: Nah, I got this covered! Oh, I think you can help.

SKULLB: "I've got it all done with, but you can help me finish the job!"

One of those rats are trying to eat Vegerot.

BLUEBRY: BE CAREFUL I THINK IT ATE SUBJECT-VERB AGREEMENT

Go stop it.

{Badstar save Vegerot.}

BLUEBRY: Subject-verb agreement does seem to have gone AWOL. How I envy it.
SKULLB: I envies it too, Bluebry. I envies it too.

NOXIGAR: AWOL is where you guys should be going as far as this fanfic is concerned.

SKUB: I think... we were just told? Son?

{1 HOUR LATER...}

H44WP: Uhh... Demonic Bellstrom? There's a problem.

END OF CHAPTER 5!

{Everyone walks out of the theater. Chwoka carries Skullbuggy}

NOXIGAR: {excited} YES! It's- {not-so-excited} not over.

SKUB: Wait... wait a minute. Something's not right here.

BLUEBRY: what is it, pray tell?
SKUB: It's like... when we make fun of him... he feeds off of it and instead converts it into ammunition to make fun of us!
CHWOKA: You don't— You don't mean?
SKUB: I'm afraid that we... may be eating out of his hands! We are but his puppets!
NACHOMAN: Curse our hubris! If only we had known that this is what he wanted us to do all along!
CHWOKA: We are the fools! It's us.
BLUEBRY: he really is the puppet master, pulling our strings

SKUB: IF ONLY WE HAD KNOWN! IF ONLY WE HAD KNOWN!