(even if you aren't vegan)
Space-Aged Stupidity/eps/9
Summary
The crew has terrible dreams after eating an odd space fungus scraped off of the ship by one of the robots.
Transcript
{Sephiroth is in the captain quarters, throwing darts, and looking rather bored.}
SEPHIROTH: Damn... Can't sleep. {Forcibly throws a dart, making it rebound, and stab Sephiroth in the chest.} Damn.. I guess I'll have to go to the doctors. {Gets up, and leaves.}
{Cut;Chaos' lab. Chaos is duct-taped to the wall.}
CHAOS: I hate my workforce.
{Sephiroth walks in.}
SEPHIROTH: Hey Chaos, I accidentally stabbed myself playing darts again.. Why are you all duct-taped?
CHAOS: Well, I was reprogramming GR-01 to be able to help me in the lab, but he sort of...broke. He duct-taped me to the wall, then jumped out the airlock. I can help you...for the right pr-I mean, if you get me down...{under breath} and for the right price
SEPHIROTH: Sure. {Takes an empty syringe and fills it with his blood. He then dabs his blood on the duct tape, and the duct tape melts away.} Yeah.. Don't ask why my blood is like that.
CHAOS: Thank god the laws of physics don't apply, or else around now I would- {falls face-first into the floor} Fall.
SEPHIROTH: Alright.. All I need you to do is just mend me. And wear gloves. Unless you want skeleton hands.
CHAOS: I don't think you know me well enough to know that I needn't any safety gear to operate.
{Chaos shakes the tape off, pulls out a sewing needle, some string, and a squeegie.}
SEPHIROTH: Alright. {Lies down on the table.} Oh, since mankind has evolved beyond the use of a liver, you can have that if you want.
CHAOS: ...What's a liver?
{Wade walks in.}
WADE: Hey, where are the snaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
{Wade runs off, screaming.}
SEPHIROTH: I forgot to tell him we ran out of snacks. Oh well. {Looks at wound.} Meh. It'll heal itself. See ya Chaos. {Gets up and leaves.}
CHAOS: But I didn't get to use the squeegie!
HOMESTAR TIGER: {Walks in, tired} Ugg... I guess I'll get a snack, and then, back to the grind.
{Cut to the canteen. Sephiroth is searching through the fridges.}
SEPHIROTH: Hungry... No snacks..
HOMESTAR TIGER: AWWWWW!! I guess it's back to the grind. {puts on space suit}
SEPHIROTH: Alright.
{Chaos wheels in a cart of fresh unborn cow embryos.}
CHAOS: Hey, Seph, I forgot to mention that I used all of the snacks to feed my pregnant cows. These babies are going to make great stem cells! JCM won't look a day over 70! Wait...I thought I heard H*t around here. Where'd he go?
SEPHIROTH: He's gone to the surface of the ship to clean it.
HOMESTAR TIGER: Sephy, please open the airlock.
{Sephiroth does so, and Homestar tiger goes to the outside of the ship. He goes to the underside.}
HOMESTAR TIGER: Wow, this part hasn't been cleaned in- ooo, whats that?
{There is a fungus on the bottom of the ship. It is making alternating colors.}
HOMESTAR TIGER: Sephy... I think I found food.
SEPHIROTH: What is it? And what the hell is it doing there?
HOMESTAR TIGER: 1-It's some kinda odd fungus. 2-I don't know, but I blame Chaos.
SEPHIROTH: Alright, scrape it up. We'll analyse it.
HOMESTAR TIGER: OKAY! {Pulls out clay knife, attempts to remove it} Grr, ugh, aaauughh... GRRR {SNAP! The clay knife breaks} I can't!
SEPHIROTH: Lemme see. {Climbs outside with no suit.} Ooh. I see it. {Looks around, and sees a robotic arm floating.} Hey! That arm belonged to my evil robot clone! ....We could try that.
HOMESTAR TIGER: Oh, you mean the one I suspected was evil and I was right? Yeah, that would definitely work!! -WAIT, SEPH, YOU DON'T HAVE A SUIT ON!!
SEPHIROTH: It appears I do not. Oh well.
HOMESTAR TIGER: Uhhh... is there a robot or something I could use?
{Seph's head explodes}
SEPHIROTH: {Unaware that his head has exploded.}' Dunno.
HOMESTAR TIGER: I'm-aaah... I'm gonna take you to the doc and go see.
{Time passes...}
{Homestar tiger is controlling a robot over a camera and Sephiroth is sitting by him, with a generic head.}
SEPHIROTH: Yeah... {Takes off the generic head, revealing the normal head.} Don't ask.
{The robot scrapes the colorful fungus into a bucket and the robot comes into port.}
SEPHIROTH: Alright. Let's see what this stuff is!
HOMESTAR TIGER: CHAOS! COME HERE IF YOU WANT SOME FREE CHEESE!!
SEPHIROTH: I'm still really tired. After we find out what this stuff is, I'm hitting the hay.
UNHOLY TRACY:{walks in wearing a robe and holding a cup of coffee} H-hey guys. {yawns}
THB:{runs in} HEY EVERY-
{UT flings the coffee into THB's face}
THB: AH OH GOD THE PAIN
SEPHIROTH: Hey Unholy. Hey umm... Your name?
THB: Hmm? Oh, I'm True Hollow Bell. You can call me THB.
SEPHIROTH: Cool, Cool.
UNHOLY TRACY: I hope you don't mind he got onto the sh- {sees the fungus} ...THB, did you do that?
THB: Hmm... It's possible...
SEPHIROTH: We're waiting for it to be Analyzed. There is a chance it could be edible.
{Tiger smells the fungus.}
HOMESTAR TIGER: It smells like warm chicken and potatoes.
B-621: {Proffesor Farnsworth voice} Good news, everyone! I got a dream program install- ... {Normal voice} What the hell is that?
HOMESTAR TIGER: I suspect, some gourmet meal fungus. Can we eat it?
{Wade takes a piece and chomps on it.}
WADE: ... Ooh! It's so meaty and... sweet? Mmm!
{Wade takes a piece and gives it to Tiger.}
WADE: Try it!
{Homestar tiger eats the piece Wade gave him.}
HOMESTAR TIGER: {Heavy Weapons Guy Impression} Mmmm... Moist and delicious! Ahahahaha!
UNHOLY TRACY: Hmm... {takes a piece of the fungus, eats it} ...Hmm. Nice.
SEPHIROTH: ......Ah, what the heck? {Takes a piece and eats it.} For me.. it tastes somewhat like Haddock and Coke. I'm assuming it tastes different for everyone else. .....{Eyes droop a little.} Wow.. I'm tired. I'm gonna try to go to sleep again.
UNHOLY TRACY:{yawns} Ah, me, too.
THB: ... {eats some of the fungus} ...So will I. C'mon UT, let's get back to the TARDIS.
UNHOLY TRACY: Ri-{falls over, asleep}
THB: ...Great. {picks up UT, carries him offscreen}
B-621: ... Ah, what the hell? Nobody else is going to, anyway... {Eats the rest of the fungus} ...That was... new. Anyway, ACTIVATING SLEEP-MODE {Falls over}
{Sephiroth walks back into his quarters. Cut to inside UT's TARDIS. The doors swing open, and THB walks in carrying UT. He lays UT onto a hammock in the corner of the TARDIS. THB then walks over to the other side of the TARDIS, lays down on the floor, and falls asleep. Cut back to the rest of the crew}
{Wade yawns and immediately falls over, asleep.}
{Cut to Sephiroth's room. He is sleeping in the bed. Suddenly, he starts shaking really bad. Cut to inside UT's TARDIS. THB and UT start shaking as well. Cut to B-621, who is shaking while muttering "malfuntion" in his sleep. Cut back.}
{Cut to Homestar tiger's room. He is making frightened moans. Cut back to Sephiroth. He is shaking more rigorously now. The scene fades into his dream. Sephiroth is walking in a field full of strawberries, and the sky is purple. Diamonds are in the sky.}
SEPHIROTH: Whoa... Where am I?
{Suddenly, the strawberries start coming to life, and they start to march around Sephiroth.}
SEPHIROTH: What the-... {The ground underneath him disappears, sending him down below. He appears in what looks like the meeting room. All the crew are there, standing facing the wall so you don't see their faces.} Hello? ....{Walks over to Chaos.} Chaos? {He taps the Chaos on the shoulder and he suddenly turns around, revealing his face. It is an insane Joker grin. All the other crew members turn around to reveal the same face.}
ALL OF THE CREW: GOO GOO G'JOOB. {Suddenly, Sephiroth wakes up, all covered in cold sweat.}
SEPHIROTH: {Breathing heavily.} Holy crap.. What the hell was that...
{cut back to inside UT's TARDIS. Both UT and THB are rolling around}
UNHOLY TRACY: Hnngh... Ah...
THB: Nhh... Hrr...
{cut to inside UT's dream. He is falling through a red sky}
UNHOLY TRACY: ...Wha-
{UT lands on the ground, which appears to be pink cloud}
UNHOLY TRACY: ...What IS this?
{Haruhi Suzumiya and Kyon walk up to UT. Both of them have Domo-kun's face. They pull out swords}
UNHOLY TRACY: KYON, HARUHI, NO! NOO-
{cut back to the TARDIS. UT falls out of his hammock}
UNHOLY TRACY: Ahh!
{cut to inside THB's dream, which is a funeral}
THB: Huh? Who died? {looks into the casket, which has himself in it} AHH! {falls into the casket, fuses with his corpse} Hey! I'm alive! Hey!
{the casket is closed, and lowered into the ground}
THB: Let me out of here! Hey! HEY! HELP ME!
{cut back to the TARDIS. THB wakes up}
THB: OH GOD LET ME OUT OF HERE
UNHOLY TRACY: Dude! Calm down!
{Sephiroth knocks and then comes in.}
SEPHIROTH: You guys had a bad dream too?
{Homestar tiger (In his room) screams}
{Chaos comes on the intercom.}
CHAOS: ATTENTION, DUELISTS! My hair wants me to tell you that I'm referencing YGO:tAS. Also, I threw out that glowing fungus, and should tell you all that it has incredibly high toxicity levels, with side effects such as bloating, diarrhea, nausea, dream complications, and shortness of breath. So if you guys ate it, it sucks for you! {begins cackling evily!} But no, seriously, I have an antidote for it. But I feel as though you all deserve a challenge.
{Cut to B-621. Suddenly, he wakes up.}
B-621: SYSTEM CORRUPT SYSTEM CORRUPT {Zoom in. The camera goes into his mind, where a smaller holographic B-621 appears} What is this? Could this be... my main computer operating system...?
{Suddenly, gears start to spin at top speed. B-621 gets caught up in one of the gears. The gear stops and launches him.}
B-621: {Lands on a hard metal material} W-what is this? {See's a holographic Seph by an operating system.} C-captain?
SEPHIROTH: {Transforms into a Sephiroth made out of Ones and Zeroes} 1010101011110001! {Pulls a switch. Camera zooms out to reveal the metal material is a conveyor belt. The coveyor belt moves forward}
B-621: W-whats going on!?
{Cut to the end of the conveyor belt. At the end is what looks like a giant garbage crusher. Under it is a a huge metallic container labelled "Scrap metal". Eyes and mouths appear among the scraps of metal.}
JUNK: ONE OF US!!! ONE OF US!!! ONE OF US!!!
B-621: {Gets closer to the crusher. About to fall in} N-NO! N-NOOOOOOOOOO!!! {Wakes up} SYSTEM CORRUPT!!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
{Cut back.}
CHAOS: So, t orecap, you all must gather everyone that ate the fungus into one collective mass, and get them to my lab in one hour. But, each 5 minutes, I'll be spraying sleping gas in every room but my own. Your hour starts now. Good luck!
HOMESTAR TIGER: ______________ YOU CHAOS YOU SON OF A ____________ YOUR MOTHER WAS A _______ AND YOUR FATHER SMELLED LIKE _______!! IF YOU DON'T GIVE US THAT ANTIDOTE: {Pulls out shotgun} TO ________ WITH YOU!
UNHOLY TRACY: DAMMIT CHAOS
CHAOS: Sorry, this isn't a two-way intercom system. I mean...Uh...NO!
{Chaos disconnects the intercom system. He then laughs at an incredibly loud volume, as everyone can hear it.}
B-621: {Runs by screaming}
UNHOLY TRACY: ...So, we have five minutes, and his lab is... ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SHIP GODDAMMIT ALL
{Homestar tiger breaks open the door with his foot}
HOMESTAR TIGER: I AIN'T GOIN THROUGH THAT DREAM AGAIN! DIE YOU MOTHER________
UNHOLY TRACY: GET YOUR JANITOR ASS OUT OF MY TARDIS
KYUBII: {Walks in} Hey guys! Whats going on? I'm trying to sleep...
{Homestar tiger takes out a sledge hammer, and breaks down one of the doors. Cut to a first person game view of Homestar tiger, and he is running through the ship, smashing and shooting doors, with the others running around, while this music is playing}
CHAOS: Five minute interval number one.
{Chaos fills every room with sleeping gas. Homestar Tiger falls flat on his face.}
B-621: Thank god I'm a ro- ...DEAR GOD ITS LEAKING IN {Passes out}
{Homestar tiger whines in his sleep}
UNHOLY TRACY: GODDAMMIT TIGER QUIT MESSING UP MY TARDI-{falls asleep}
{Homestar tiger screams}
{Meanwhile, Wade is tossing and turning in his sleep. Cut to his dream, in which he is being torn apart by vicious, black, blood-stained hands. After being torn to pieces, he is put back together like a jigsaw. A black hand then takes him and squishes him like a grape, sending blood everywhere. The blood starts to collect in a large pool and begins to swirl around, eventually forming Wade once again. He is then crushed by a large, bloody, silver hammer. His dead body is taken, straightened out, and rejuvenated. Outside of the dream, Wade is quietly mumbling to himself in his native tongue while rolling around, still asleep.}
HOMESTAR TIGER: WADE! WAKE THE ____ UP!!
{The gas has apparently cleared}
WADE: {still half-asleep} mama
KYUBII: {Wakes up} Well, that was a nice nap... anyways, whats going on?
UNHOLY TRACY:{wakes up} Huh? Wha? L-look, I think we should start getting to Chaos' lab.
KYUBII: ... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON
{The intercom system comes back on.}
CHAOS: That was boring. You were only asleep for 5 minutes. Meaning you have 50 to get here. Next gassing break in 5.
WADE: what
{Wade gets up, wobbles around a bit, and falls over onto his face. He begins to sleep again.}
{Homestar tiger picks up wade and puts him in his Janitor shirt pocket.}
HOMESTAR TIGER: I'll carry ya, buddy.
UNHOLY TRACY: QUIT STANDING AROUND AND RUN GODDAMMIT {runs out of the TARDIS}
THB: AAH! {runs after UT}
B-621: GODSPEED {Flies off}
KYUBII: ...Does this have anything to do with that fungus? I skipped it and ate one of our leftover tacos from last night.
UNHOLY TRACY:{offscreen} YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE
{Fade in to Wade's dream. Again. This music plays as the same sequence of events happens as before, except this time with wacky sound effects.}
WADE: {sleeping} Mmf... tee-hee!
HOMESTAR TIGER: I can't wait until that fungus gives me a pleasant dream.
{UT and THB fly past H*t and Wade}
HOMESTAR TIGER: That was utterly pointless. WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!
{cut to UT and THB}
UNHOLY TRACY: ...Did they just say they need to leave the ship instead of getting the antidote?
THB: I think so...
HOMESTAR TIGER: We have to get to the lab and out of this room before-
{The room fills up with gas}
HOMESTAR TIGER: DANGIT!
UNHOLY TRACY: ...Are we even IN a room? I thought this was a hallw-{passes out}
{cut to inside Unholy Tracy's dream. There is someone standing beside him ripping up hentai manga and stomping on a laptop}
UNHOLY TRACY: AGH NO
SKULLBUGGY:{appears onscreen} oh go "hug" your bodypillow
{cut back. UT is strangling THB}
UNHOLY TRACY:{asleep} DIE SKULLBUGGY
{Homestar tiger is making happy mutters. Cut to inside THB's dream. He is being attacked by tentacles}
THB: OH DEAR GOD WHAT THE HELL
{cut to Chaos' lab.}
CHAOS: Funny. I never hit the gas button...
{Unholy Tracy and THB warp in}
UNHOLY TRACY: Hey, Chaos.
CHAOS: Hey, guys. You need to wait for the others to get here. Perhaps you can help me solve the mystery of who the hell pressed the gas button.
THB: Honestly, we're immune to the death aspect of the fungus. We just like watching everyone freak out. Now, where IS the gas button?
CHAOS: Well, I could tell you, but you wouldn't want to press it afterwards...
THB: ...Ew.
{Cut to R@1ku's dream. Raiku is there.}
R@1KU: FATHER?
RAIKU: Hello, son. I can tell you how to save everyone. Well, I don't want to, but I have to. You have to strink, and take the fungus out of there bodies. Tell chaos I said hi.
{fade back.}
R@1KU: THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE THEM IS TO STRINK, GO IN THERE BODIES, AND TAKE OUT THE FUNGUS. OH, AND CHAOS, RAIKU SAYS HI.
UNHOLY TRACY:{offscreen} CHAOS HAS THE BLEEDING ANTIDOTE
{OOC: Rai, do you even bother to read what's happening?}
R@1KU: RAIKU KNOWS ALL HE'S MY DAD
UNHOLY TRACY:{offscreen} GO THROW YOURSELF INTO A TRASH COMPACTOR
{Cut back to Chaos's lab. Sephiroth is now there.}
SEPHIROTH: Antidote please.
UNHOLY TRACY: Oh, hey, Chaos, it's been five minutes. Press the button.
SEPHIROTH: They're taking to long. Release the tear gas also.
UNHOLY TRACY: Also, put this- {pulls out a dead opossum} -in the air vent.
SEPHIROTH: That will lure them here.
{Suddenly, the door is taken down by a shotgun blast. Homestar tiger runs in.}
HOMESTAR TIGER: YOU JERKS!
SEPHIROTH: Jeez. What's your problem today? Did that fungus increase your jerkatude?
HOMESTAR TIGER: Shut up. Or I'll do to you what I just did to the door.
SEPHIROTH: {Turns around, facing the wall. He then quickly turns around, and faces Homestar Tiger, holding a BFG9000.} You were saying?
HOMESTAR TIGER: Oh... nothing. But, is the fungus deadly? And when do we all get cured?
UNHOLY TRACY: Slow down, Holloway Roberts. Okay. One; Yes, it's bleeding deadly, that's why you ha an hour to get here. And two; When everyone arrives.
SEPHIROTH: Yeah... {Gets out a little microphone and shouts through it.} ALRIGHT YOU LITTLE PUNKS! GET HERE OR I WILL KICK YOUR ASSES WITH MY BFG9000! {Message is repeated through intercom.} There we go.
HOMESTAR TIGER: Oh, snap, I still have Wade! {Pulls wade out of shirt pocket.} Wade? C'mon, little buddy!
UNHOLY TRACY: Wake up, Wade, we're at gramma's.
HOMESTAR TIGER: WADE, WAKE!
UNHOLY TRACY:{rubs Wade's belly} C'mon, Wade. ...Wade? WADE? ... GIVE ME THAT GODDAMN ANTIDOTE, CHAOS!
CHAOS: He's just asleep. Quit whining.
{Wade yawns a little bit and continues sleeping.}
HOMESTAR TIGER: {Nervous groan} Rrr.... AAAAUUUGGGGHHH!! {Starts repeatedly banging Wade against the wall}
{Wade starts to bleed.}
CHAOS: Okay, that probably killed him.
{Wade falls onto the ground and ambles off.}
HOMESTAR TIGER: I WANT THAT-
{Technical Difficulties Screen}
HOMESTAR TIGER: -ANTIDOTE, CHAOS!!
UNHOLY TRACY:{runs off, runs back in Holding Wade in his arms} Tiger, if that fungus doesn't kill you, I will.
HOMESTAR TIGER: You wanna mess with a guy who's been shot, burned, blown up, bludgeoned, cut, banged, and everything of that manner over 5000 times in his life, and survived? I'LL END YOU!!
UNHOLY TRACY: Yes, yes I do.
HOMESTAR TIGER: Dude, I survived thousands of beatings. You can try anything. I'll survive.
UNHOLY TRACY: ...Okay, you've forced me to do this. {sets down Wade, grabs H*t by his shirt, warps off with him}
{cut to the entire universe. UT and H*t appear there}
UNHOLY TRACY: You see all this, Tiger? This is the universe.
HOMESTAR TIGER: Pretty! {Pulls out camera, takes picture}
UNHOLY TRACY: And now for the fun part.
{UT and H*t break into an infinite amount of microscopic pieces. They are scattered across the universe}
UNHOLY TRACY:{echoey} What do you think of it now, now that you can see everything in it?
HOMESTAR TIGER: Also pretty. {shattered piece takes picture}
UNHOLY TRACY: ... And now the final part.
{the shattered pieces fly directly towards a point in space, which is the LeviathanX. Once inside, they transform back into UT and H*t}
UNHOLY TRACY: Now what do you think?
HOMESTAR TIGER: It was really cool. I wanna do it again.
B-621: Doctor... please... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE US THE ANTIDOTE! I HAD A DREAM WHERE I WAS A WAFFLE BEING EATEN BY TEN FAT KIDS.
HOMESTAR TIGER: Oh my god!!
UNHOLY TRACY: ...Usually when I do that, your brain will rupture. ...DAMMIT OF COURSE HOW COULD YOU RUPTURE A BRAIN IF THERE IS NO BRAIN TO RUPTURE
HOMESTAR TIGER: It's true. I don't have a brain.
UNHOLY TRACY: YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING INSIDE YOU DO YOU
HOMESTAR TIGER: {Spits out shotgun} I have this.
UNHOLY TRACY: ...I MEAN ORGANS AND STUFF
HOMESTAR TIGER: Oh, I've got organs. My stomach just takes up a lot of torso space.
UNHOLY TRACY: Oh, okay then.
{Homestar tiger and Unholy Tracy stare at eachother for a few seconds.}
HOMESTAR TIGER: How much longer 'till the fungus kills us?
UNHOLY TRACY: Well, I'd say it wouldn't kill us, per se, as I know I'm immune to the deadly effects, and I'm pretty sure you're immortal. But, we seem to have about... 15 minutes left.
HOMESTAR TIGER: I feel relieved and panicked at the same time.
UNHOLY TRACY: Even so, I suggest we do have some of the antidote, as without it, we'd likely still have the nightmares.
SEPHIROTH: I feel weird.... {Cut to Sephiroth's point of view. He looks at Unholy Tracy and Homestar tiger, and everything starts to change appearance, until the end result resembles this.} Whoa.. I think the fungus is taking effect on what we see in real life too now..
UNHOLY TRACY: Actually, that's probably because I put some LSD into the ship's water supply...
SEPHIROTH: No, it's not that.. I built an immunity to that years ago.
UNHOLY TRACY: Oh. Well, I guess it is the fungus. ...Well, I don't know about you, but I like the new indoor Pepperland.
SEPHIROTH: You see it too?
HOMESTAR TIGER: I see it.
SEPHIROTH: WE NEED ANTIDOTES OR SO HELP ME I WILL KILL EVERYONE ON THIS SHIP
HOMESTAR TIGER: I WANT TO END THIS
UNHOLY TRACY: I LIKE YELLING
SEPHIROTH: Alright... Let's calm down... If Chaos won't give it to us, we'll have to find it! GUYS! LET'S PLUNDER AND PILLAGE THE LAB!!
UNHOLY TRACY: Guys. Calm down. We need to handle this like sane people.
CHAOS: How about this; I'll give you the antidote if you can each spell a word.
SEPHIROTH: ...Fine.
UNHOLY TRACY:{honest} This should be hard...
CHAOS: Homestar Tiger, spell "Cat".
HOMESTAR TIGER: Errrr... C.... A.... uhhh... thinking, thinking... T?
SEPHIROTH: Whoa.. You actually got it right... You do have a brain!
CHAOS: {Throws a small vial containing the antidote to Homestar Tiger} Very good. Tracy, spell "Wandering".
UNHOLY TRACY: Okay then. Wandering. W-A-N-D-E-R-I-N-G. Wandering.
SEPHIROTH: Me next!
B-621: NO ME
CHAOS: Fine, B, spell "Social".
UNHOLY TRACY: ...Can I have my antidote first?
CHAOS: You can have it after B-621 finishes spelling Social.
UNHOLY TRACY: Thank you. {thinking} Hmm... That's strange... If I know Chaos, these words should be really hard... Wait. Could I have... {eyes widen, normal} I'VE LOST MY GENRE SAVVINESS! {screams, runs off}
B-621: S-O-C-I-A-L. NOW GIVE ME THE ANTIDOTE.
{UT is about to run straight into Chaos, but he punches him and sends him to the ground. Chaos drops a small vial on him, and gives a disc containing the antidote program to B-621.}
CHAOS: Now, for captain Sephiroth.
B-621: {A small compartment opens out of his mouth. He puts the disc in. More robotic voice.} PROCESSING... PROCESSING... PROCESSING... COMPLETE. {Normal voice} DEAR GOD I'M FREE
CHAOS: Sephiroth, you have the honor of spelling... Lopadotemachoselachogaleokranioleipsanodrimhypotrimmatosilphioparaomelitokatakechymenokichlepikossyphophattoperisteralektryonoptekephalliokigklopeleiolagoiosiraiobaphetraganopterygon
UNHOLY TRACY: Eh? ...OH, THANK PRIMUS, I WAS RIGHT. {grabs the vial of antidote, drinks}
THB: I suggest that after Seph, Wade goes, then me, and then, if he hasn't died yet, Tiger.
HOMESTAR TIGER: I already got the frickin' antidote! {Drinks antidote} What, you wanted me dead?
SEPHIROTH: Alright! I can do this! L..... O...... P...... A..... {Sephiroth's heart starts beating loudly.} D.... O.... T.... E.... OH GOD GIVE ME THE ANTIDOTE!! RAWR!!! {Lounges at Chaos and forces his hand through Chaos's jacket. He pulls out a heart.} Oops. Sorry. Wrong Pocket. {Goes to the other pocket and pulls out the antidote. He then drinks it.} There we go. Umm.... Do you want your heart back?
{Zoom out and long pause.}
CHAOS: Yes...my heart...
SEPHIROTH: Right... Now the the other guys.
CHAOS: Love to...but I'm out.
{Chaos is blasted and he falls to the ground. All the antidotes fall out of his pocket, intact.}
HOMESTAR TIGER: {Holding shotgun} THIS IS MAH BOOMSTICK!!
CHAOS: Oh, maybe I do have one more. Well, I guess I can treat Wade.
{Chaos pours the antidote into a small plate of nachos, and puts them near Wade.}
SEPHIROTH: I wonder if what Tiger did constitutes as a ballkick offence? ....Then again.. it was justified.
HOMESTAR TIGER: Explain.
SEPHIROTH: Well, as you know, the punishment for injuring another crew member without cause is a swift kick in the gonads, but since Chaos was pretty much refusing to treat us and you shot him... It was justifyed.
CHAOS: What are you talking about? I treated almost all of you. I didn't know I still had some antidote on me. So it was NOT justified.
SEPHIROTH: Oh. Sorry. Then you may kick Tiger in balls.
{Chaos prepares to kick Homestar Tiger in the balls, but instead he takes out a rocket launcher and shoots a rocket at H*t, sending him flying.}
CHAOS: Fatality, asshole!
SEPHIROTH: Right... You know what.. I'm going to go back to bed now. Hopefully I will actually be able to without nightmares. Good night guys! {Walks off.}
CHAOS: Right, I neglected to mention that the antidote gives you a small case of diarrhea, so it may be a long night for you guys.
SEPHIROTH: {Offscreen} Whatever.
WADE: {offscreen} AUUUUUGH ITS SO PAINFUL
{End episode.}
