(even if you aren't vegan)
Slas Emails/welcome mat
{Tune of "Eye of the Tiger Chorus plays at the computer desk}
SLAS: IT'S THE... EMAIL'S STUPID QUESTION... THAT KEEPS YOU ALL ENTERTAINED. I FEEL LIKE NO LONGER SINGING.
{Tune ends in a record scratch}
Subject: Wlecome to the neighborhood!Dear 977,
Welcome to the neighborhood! Here are a few things to remember:
- Always put out fivesday decorations. ALWAYS.
- Stay away from the old man down the street.
- If anyone asks if you have a finger box, say you have one made out of red plastic.
- Never mention clue around me.
~The other 977
SLAS: No, he messed up. This is what it should read.
{Slas' head blocks the screen while he types. Chalk noises can be heard. After five seconds, he moves, revealing he typed new stuff but chalked out old stuff.}
SLAS: NOW we have a winner.
Subject: Wlecome to the neighborhood!Dear
977Guy who wins the race at the end of Rocky or something,
Welcome to theneighgay-borhood! Here are a few things torememberbeat the hell out of:
Always put out fivesday decorations. ALWAYSMe.Stay away from the old man down the streetMyself.If anyone asks if you have a finger box, say you have one made out of red plasticI.- Never mention
cluegirls around me, as I am a homophobe.~The other
977idiot on Earth, meaning everyone but Slas
{Slas laughs out loud.}
SLAS: {not completly calmed down} Oh, I wish that was what he really sent. {Calms down} 779, I'm afraid you're too late. I already decided I HATE fivesday. It's not even capitalized! Second, the old man gave me this computer! He acted weird though. Said I needed to "repay the favor" later. Third, I frankly told them they can shove it, and really, REALLY did make one, then beat them with it. Fourth, clue.
{Zooms out to show Zoo looking like Goku standing next to . He suddenly screams and goes Super Saian on Slas' ass. Slas screams and is taken offscreen. A "Chuck Chuck" is heard, followed by the Paper coming down.}
Looks like Slas will be busy for a while. |
> Click here to e-mail Slas |
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{5 seconds later Jake comes in.}}
JAKE: {yelling} Whatver he does, Slas, you're paying for it!