RiffText/SSXMails/BHZ/Curse of the Copyright Wizard

WILL BE FORMATTED LATER

Strange Man: Echoing SSX...

LIGHTNING GUY: SSX...SSX...SSX...

you must stop...

SSX: Stop what?

Strange Man: Being you...

MR. CLOUD: Yes, please.

SSX: Why?

Strange Man: The Laws...of

LIGHTNING GUY: Decency

Copyright...

SSX: Am I even illegal?

Strange Man: I don't know, but we might as well play it safe... Change your form, or I will permanately erase youuu...

MR. CLOUD: Finally! A happy ending!

SSX wakes up from a dream.

SSX: Ah! Ookkay... channge ff...form...

SSX travels to an open field, and makes most of his body literally explode.

LIGHTNING GUY: {singing} Ding dong, the witch is dead, the witch is dead, the witch is dead!

He is left with his X, eyes, and mouth, all in a fire.

SSX: There. That works.

MR. CLOUD: No, it doesn't! Why are you still alive?

SSX, now named XOnFire, produces 2 artificial hands. Later, in the computer room, XOF arrives.

XOF: Email again, this might be much harder!

LIGHTNING GUY: I'm too depressed to even "that's what she said".

a>Dear Suh-sux, I've had a terrible problem tolerating the YouTube community with their new creation of YouTube "Poops".

LIGHTNING GUY: Oh god, here we go.

What should I do about that: embrace it or... you know, the opposite of embracing it? Sincerely, Suh-suh-Skye

A>Y...YouTube poops, you ssss...ssay? Well, eh, you...ooh...just...embrace them....and one last tip of advice. Don't use them to modify robot memory...oh, boy...

XOF runs off. Gir then reads the email.

a>Sunky, you've suure done it now! This could be bad for everyone within a 25,000 mile radius of that disembodied robot maniac freak...

MR. CLOUD: I'm sorry. I'm just still getting over how accurately you're writing Gir. It's amazing.

Meanwhile...

XOF: Where is that Skye fellow...I've gotta stuff him full of LOTSA SPHAGETTI!

{Lightning Guy pukes out all of his vital organs.}

Oh, no! It's already begun! I'd better find him fast, OR ELSE I WILL DIE!

XOF bursts into town hall.

XOF: WE GOTTA FIND THE PRINCESS! Named Skye.

MR. CLOUD: Lightning Guy, I think I just stepped on your brain.

Mayor Flibberflabber: What an odd name for a princess. Anyways, there's this kid who came for a visit. He calls himself Skye.

XOF:THAT'S PRINCESS SKYE TO YOU, MAYORIO! *Wheeze*

Mayor Flibberflabber: Perhaps I can direct you to the nearest mental institution.

LIGHTNING GUY: Is there room for two?

XOF: HERE IS THE M-Help! Help! My mind is being controlled by common jokes from the internet.

MR. CLOUD: The internet and YouTube Poop are two thankfully separate things.

Mayor Flibberflabber: Yeah, um, there's a good one a town or two over. They're called Mental Institution For The Comically Insane.

LIGHTNING GUY: Comical!

They're currently looking for viti...PATIENTS! Yes, patients. But, for now, I'll bring out that Skye fellow.

XOF: OVER THERE!

Mayor Flibberflabber: ...Yeah...just meet your friend, then get the heck out.

MR. CLOUD: Of the country.

Skye comes into the room.

Skye: I got your reply, but I think everyone at your house wrote something on it. Not very well, seeing that 95% of the email was gibberish.

MR. CLOUD: And the other five percent was the title.

XOF punches Skye with a comically large fist.

LIGHTNING GUY: Comical!

XOF: SILENCE! RRGGGhh...aaaahhh...GRRR...graaaaa...hhheelllppppp...AAAAHCKGHDSA...

Skye: I know what to do!

Skye grabs the large fist, and pounds XOF with it. XOF slams into the ground, unconcious.

MR. CLOUD: Remember, kids, violence solves everything!

Mayor Flibberflabber: Okay, enough of this.

ONE MONTH LATER, SSX wakes up

LIGHTNING GUY: I should have known it would be a tragedy.

in the asylum's lobby.

XOF: LUIGI, I'M HOME!

Woman: Actually, a prophecy foretold that there will never be a Luigi in this building. Ever.

MR. CLOUD: A prophecy also foretold that there would never be annoying old church ladies in the building, but we all know those things are phonies.

XOF: IT IS WRITTEN?

Woman: If you would step onto that *cough* memory scanner, we can begin.

LIGHTNING GUY: Begin what, you say? Details, details.

XOF steps onto a strange platform. It lights up, and...

TO BE CONTINUED...