RiffText/Remolays crap/Sombaf/3

Should Sombaf get eyes?

REMOLAY: would anyone care and or notice?

Characters in order of appearance: Sombaf, Bubs, Strong Bad, The Cheat

Locations: Sombafs computer, The Field, Bubs' concession stand, House of the Brothers Strong

Transcript

SOMBAF: Check it. Sombaf Rappin' is really bad.
you heard better rhymes from the big guy Strong Sad!

REMADIN: I want to show how the writer's rapping skills have improved, but they really haven't.

{Types SEMAIL.EXE}

Dear fabmoS, Don't you have trouble seeing without eyes?
I think you should go to Bub's and buy a pair.
Sincerly, Raggonix

{says "I'm not even gonna make fun of this" instead of sincerly, reads Raggonix as "Xinoggar"}

SOMBAF: {typing} I'ma get straight into this now.

REMADIN: This is NOT how you answer a "How do you type with boxing gloves on" email.

Like a month after I moved here Homestar asked that same question. Wavy flashbacky thingy, if you please?

REMADIN: And here, the writer suddenly learned how to format on a wiki.

{wavy transition to the field, bottom of the screen reads "5 months ago" Sombaf walking to Bubs' concession stand}

SOMBAF: {voiceover} I see just fine without eyes somehow, even I'm not sure of that one,

REMOLAY: Magic. You know, the Joe Quesada school of lazy writing.

but I thought perhaps I would look better with eyes.

BUBS: What can I get for you fine gentleman?

SOMBAF: Um... what do you have in the... eye department. {muttered to self} That didn't sound weird at all.

REMADIN: It really didn't...

BUBS: Well, I could let you try out these.

{Bubs pull out slanted angry type eyes, Sombaf jumps, startled}

REMOLAY: Pussy.

SOMBAF: Gyah! {Calms down} I don't want to give anyone the impression that I'm evil!

REMADIN: You'd just look angry you dumbass!
REMOLAY: Look at me. I look evil. I do not look angry. You look like a cruel joke. You do not look evi- well that's actually debatable.

What do you have that says, "I'm calm, and I have eyes"

BUBS: I could let you try my new "Regular ol'" eyes.

REMADIN: New, from RonCo!

{Pulls out pair of normal eyes}

SOMBAF: Perfect! I'll take them!

{Sombaf grabs eyes, puts them in, and runs off}

BUBS: COME BACK HERE AND PAY FOR THOSE!

REMADIN: Larceny, now added to The Eyeless One's list of crimes.

{cut to normal field, Strong Bad and The Cheat walk by, stop when seeing the eyed Sombaf}

STRONG BAD: Woah, this guy looks cool. Who are you, new guy?

SOMBAF: It's me, Sombaf. You've known me for about a month now?

STRONG BAD: I'm pretty sure I would remember that... Hey you wanna come over to my place tomorrow and play the bloodiest of bloody video games?

REMOLAY: Jeez, at least take me to dinner first!

SOMBAF: You need to ask? I'll be there!

SOMBAF: {voiceover} It turns out that Bubs' "Regular Ol' Eyes" disolve over night,

REMADIN: Officially on the top of the list of dumbest things I've ever heard of.

so the next morning I was again eyeless. I didn't think it would make much of a difference, so I headed on down to S B's place.

{cut to in front of the House of The Brothers Strong. Sombaf Knocks, Strong Bad answers.}

STRONG BAD: Who the crap are you?

SOMBAF: It's me, Sombaf... from yesterday

STRONG BAD: No that can't be, Sombaf haves eyes.

REMADIN: I really don't think anyone's memory works like this

SOMBAF: No reall...

{door is slammed in Sombafs face, cut to inside the house.}

STRONG BAD: Now I just have to wait for What's-his-name

REMOLAY: I wish this was how object permanence worked

{cut to present, Sombafs computer}

SOMBAF: {typing} And that's why Strong Bad can never recognize me, because I don't "haves eyes." Now if You'll excuse me, I still have to pay Bubs for those Regular Ol's.

REMADIN: Bubs would have your kneecaps by now if you had any.
REMOLAY: The email's gone it doesn't exist anymore... DAMMIT! I knew that wasn't how it worked!