RiffText/RTOD/The Death of Bell

ATTENTION

DAMMIT RAIKU, IT'S INTENTIONAL. IT'S ALWAYS INTENTIONAL.

LIGHTNING GUY: Yelling at a noob. This is off to a great start.
NINJADUCK: RAIKU DO NOT BE A NUBBIE

Part 1: Murder Of Bell

Prologue

{cut to a black screen. The words "Each Planet has a Cataclysm" appears in gold letters}

NARRATOR: Each planet had, is having, or will have a cataclysm.

{the words are replaced by "Time is Up"}

NARRATOR: Earth has evaded the inevitable destruction for an unreasonable amount of time. But it shall now occur.

{the words are replaced by "One Person"}

NARRATOR: The evading of Earth's cataclysm is because of one person.

{the words fade away. Im a bell appears}

IM A BELL: What?

LIGHTNING GUY: Where's the person? All I see is some weirdo with a bell for a head.

{Im a bell is replaced by the words "When Im a bell has Gone"}

NARRATOR: But... When he has gone...

{the words are replaced by "It Shall Arise"}

NARRATOR: The Cataclysm shall arise.

{cut to Homestar's house. The grass around it is completely burnt. The house is inflamed}

IM A BELL:{voice} Wait, I caused all this?

NARRATOR: Kinda.

{fade to black}

LIGHTNING GUY: That was the second or third worst prologue

NAMINE: Which one was the first worst prologue?

I've ever seen.

Chapters

• Chapter 1: The Battel of Doom

LIGHTNING GUY: You enjoy mispelling "battle", don't you?

NOXIGAR: Except it's not a misspelling, at all. Battel is a legitimate word from an admittedly-mediocre film called Kaiju Big Battel, that Chaos liked a whole lot. Bell and Chaos just used the "Battel" spelling a lot as a reference to it.

It's like some twisted running gag for him.

• Chapter 2: The Underworld
• Chapter 3: Attack of The Vandals
• Chapter 4: Surrender

NAMINE: It's a shame that they never actually riffed The Death of Bell; they only got the prologues.

Part 2: Sacrifice Of Bell

Prologue

{Cut to a black background. The words "He Has Resurfaced" appear in gol-you know what happens}

LIGHTNING GUY: In my country, not writing out an entire sentence is a sign of laziness.

NARRATOR: An old enemy has resurfaced.

{text changes to "Unstoppable?"}

NARRATOR: Now he is seemingly unstoppable.

{text changes to "Only Him"}

NARRATOR: Only one man can stop him.

{the text fades away. Im a bell appears}

IM A BELL: Huh? Am I going to die again?

NARRATOR: Well, this IS The Death of Bell!

IM A BELL: Crap. Why in GOD'S NAME do you keep making me DIE?

NINJADUCK: Because it's hilarious.

NARRATOR: Quiet you.

{fade to black}

Chapters

• Chapter 1: Resurfacing
• Chapter 2: Sacrifice
• Epilogue 1: Unholiness
• Epilogue 2: Heavenly

NOXIGAR: Watch, someone's going to make a bullshit statement about the Bell Curse, and I'm going to-

NAMINE: Mind if I ask what exactly the "Bell Curse" is?
NOXIGAR: Some nonsensical conspiracy theory where, if it has Bell in it, either the work never gets finished or is immediately unusable due to "being bad." Briar's the one responsible for the reprehensible conspiracy theory, and either people are just going along with this "Curse" or gullibly believing it.
NAMINE: How do we know you're not cursed?

NOXIGAR: If I were, I don't think I'd be purposefully making a last hurrah to riffing at all. Only riff I haven't finished is GAME 1, because GAME 1 is just that shitty.