RiffText/RTOD/Kirbychu emails.pie/false-mail

{The screen opens to show Kirbychu's computer room. Only half of the wall is intact, the rest is mainly a wooden frame. Kirbychu enters, carrying a laptop.}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: {sing-songingly} Checkin' my email in a broken room with an old laptop...

LIGHTNING GUY: Oh, now you're in the mood for an intro song.

{Kirbychu sits down at his desk and sets up the laptop, which looks the same as his old one. X On Fire enters.}

X ON FIRE: Kirbychu, what's with this? I thought you were making a new laptop, but this looks just like your old one!

LIGHTNING GUY: It does, doesn't it?

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Well, after I looked over my old laptop again I discovered that the charger was broken, and the laptop's battery was dead. I got a new one of both, and I found that it's screen broke, so I got a spare and fixed it!

X ON FIRE: Oh. I'm leaving now. {exits}

LIGHTNING GUY: I hate when my friends visit just to be an audience surrogate!

NOXIGAR: Oh, now he's in the mood for a legitimate criticism of this fake e-mail.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: That was strange... anyways, let get this show started!

{The computer boots up. Kirbychu opens outlook express}

Dear Kirbychu,
Youre bank account

LIGHTNING GUY: Double whammy! You get the Certificate Medal of Incompetence.

is about to expire. We are terribly sorry to tell you that. In order to keep it running, put every bit of your money into your account, and send your accounts number and password to zoomail.EXE.

The bank

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Um... what? How could my bank account be expiring?

LIGHTNING GUY: Its time ran out.

I just... wait a minute, that's Zoo's email address! That jerk is trying to steal my money!

{Kirbychu copies the text of the email and pastes it in a new message window. He edits "Dear Kirbychu" to "Mr. Zoo977", fixes "your", replaces "Zoomail.EXE" with "[email protected]" and "The bank" to "Your Credit Union". He then sends the e-mail.}

LIGHTNING GUY: It's clever because it's original.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: That'll teach him to try and scam me out of my money!

{Cut to Zoo's computer. The e-mail pops up on screen. Zoo notices it and sits down.}

ZOO977: What!?! How could my bank account be expiring?

LIGHTNING GUY: ITS FREAKING TIME RAN OUT

I just opened it after my old one was canceled! I'd better call the bank and find out what's going on...

MY THIS IS GOING SLOWLY!

NOXIGAR: MY THIS IS NEVER GOING TO UPDATE