RiffText/RTOD/Kirbychu emails.pie/Brawl

Summary

Tommyspud asks Kirbychu who he'll play as in Brawl. Kirbychu gets a vacation at the beach out of it.

Cast (in order of appearance): Kirbychu, a guard, Homestar, assorted prisoners, Strong Bad, The Cheat.

Places: The Jail, Outside the jail, The Blimp, Kirbychu's House, Kirbychu's Computer Room, The Beach.

Date: February 25, 2008

Transcript

{Cut to Kirbychu's jail cell from the last e-mail. Kirbychu is sitting inside wearing a scarf with similar patterns on it as a prison uniform.}

LIGHTNING GUY: Strangely, he wasn't wearing a prison uniform with it.

NOXIGAR: That doesn't merit a "Strangely."

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Hey Mr. Guard, can I have my 1 phone call? I didn't get it when I was thrown in here.

GUARD: Fine, but you had better not try to make more than one!.

LIGHTNING GUY: Or I'll add a question mark to this sentence!.

{He lets Kirbychu out and escorts him to a small phone. He picks up the phone and gives it to Kirbychu.}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: {whispering} Homestar? I'm in jail. {mumbling from the phone} I said I'm in jail. Do you know where to get a helicopter?

LIGHTNING GUY: And three to four years of piloting experience?

{more mumbling} No, HELICOPTER, not helium tank. {mumbling} Good. {hangs up}

{Cut to an outside area of the jail. Kirbychu is using a pick to break rocks.}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: {quietly} He should be here any minute now.

{A large helicopter passes over the jail and stops above the area Kirbychu is. Homestar sticks his head out the door.}

HOMESTAR: Hey Kirbychu!

LIGHTNING GUY: Sorry, but jail takes the hey out of a man.

Don't worry, I'll let down a ladder so you can climb up! {He rolls out a rope ladder. The end whacks Kirbychu in the head.}

LIGHTNING GUY: When in doubt, hit someone with a rope.

Sorry about that.

{Kirbychu climbs up, followed by every other prisoner. Strong Bad walks in from the pilot's room.}

STRONG BAD: Great, thanks a lot Dorkychu!

LIGHTNING GUY: A lot Dorkychu will never earn my thanks. Ever.

Now the helicopter's gonna be filled with every prisoner in this jail!

KIRBYCHU HR'D: I'll take care of that.

LIGHTNING GUY: Because he can't risk encouraging prison breaks or anything.

{Kirbychu takes his pick and uses it to cut the rope ladder off before any prisoners could get in.}

LIGHTNING GUY: But if Kirbychu's on the helicopter, didn't he already fail?

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Okay, now that that's done, could you just drop me off at my house?

LIGHTNING GUY: Because that will be the last place the cops will look.

STRONG BAD: Sure.

{Strong Bad flies the copter over Kirbychu's house. Kirbychu jumps out and goes straight down the chimney. He ends up in a fireplace right next to his computer room. He goes over to the computer and opens Outlook Express.}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: I'm not in the mood for an opening song.

LIGHTNING GUY: That's great,

NOXIGAR: "For me."

because neither was I.

Dear Kirbychu,
Since you are probably getting Brawl when it comes out,

LIGHTNING GUY: You are a master of presumption.

who are you going to play as more, Kirby or Pikachu?
From,
Tommyspud

KIRBYCHU HR'D: {typing} What is with me getting e-mails from plants? My first e-mail was from a cucumber, and now I get one from a potato.

LIGHTNING GUY: We're very worried about your eating habits, Heavychu.

{clears screen} Well Tommytater, sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm not getting Brawl. I don't have a Wii. Fortunately my friend X on Fire has it reserved so I'll still be able to play it.

LIGHTNING GUY: How freaking convenient.

As for characters, I'm not so sure. Kirby can copy anyone, and his final smash where he cooks everyone is good to. On the other hand, Pikachu has great electric attacks, and his final smash sends enemies flying with a blaze of electricity. And there's so many other characters in the game too! Ug... IT'S SO HARD TO CHOOSE! I need a vacation, maybe that'll help me decide... somehow.

LIGHTNING GUY: It won't. He just wants to lay on his fat rear all day.

{Cut to a beach. Kirbychu is there lying next to Homestar, The Cheat, and Strong Bad.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

LIGHTNING GUY: Translated: Why the crap are we on the beach in the middle of the winter?

NOXIGAR: Wouldn't the middle of the winter be January?

STRONG BAD: I don't know why Kirbychu gave us a vacation.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: I gave you three a vacation so I could go on vacation without being alone.

LIGHTNING GUY: You tell this kid has mommy issues.

NOXIGAR: Sometimes, I wonder if people use the terms "mommy issues" and "daddy issues" exclusively to make light of people's attachment issues in a way that sounds condescending.

HOMESTAR: Oh, that makes scents.

LIGHTNING GUY: The word is sense, not

STRONG BAD: The word is sense, not scents, idiot.

LIGHTNING GUY: Oh, screw it all.

HOMESTAR: Ya, you're probably right. At least half.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Wait Homestar,

LIGHTNING GUY: "Who are you talking about weight to, mister?"

THAT'S IT! {runs off}

{Cut back to Kirbychu's computer room. Kirbychu runs in and sits down.}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Well Potato Ted, to answer your question, I'll play them both an equal amount of times.

LIGHTNING GUY: Exactly zero for each, because the characters suck.

{The DS comes down.}

{After a few seconds, Kirbychu begins to talk again}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Wait, I feel like I forgot about something. Something about the beach... hmm...

{Cut back to the beach.

LIGHTNING GUY: Well, what do you know? It was about the beach.

Homestar, The Cheat, and Strong Bad are lying there. They all have sunburns.}

HOMESTAR: Hey Strong Bad, shouldn't we leave? There's no one else here

LIGHTNING GUY: Not even that period guy.

STRONG BAD: We would've left already, but Kirbychu had my car keys when he ran off.

HOMESTAR: Ooohh...

LIGHTNING GUY: Burn.

haha get it it's a joke

NOXIGAR: I don't get it, actually.

{The DS comes back down}

Trivia

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