RiffText/RTOD/KickCheat E-mails/European Cartoon

KickCheat E-mail #3

Jemissu-F asks KickCheat what he would be like in an European cartoon.

Cast (In order of appearrance): KickCheat, Strong Bad, Kikchittosan, European Homestar runner, European Strong Bad, Homestar Runner (easter egg)

Places: The Computer Room, White Background, Eiffel Tower, European Cartoon Field, Homestar's house (easter egg), Strong Bad's Computer Room (easter egg)

Computer: Kickix 500

Lines: 40

Script

KICKCHEAT: {Clicks on e-mail while talking} Time for an e-mail.

LIGHTNING GUY: YA OUTDID YASELF

Dear Kikchittosan,
There are way too many Japanese cartoons. So,
what would you look like in a European

LIGHTNING GUY: Because Europe is such a smaller place than Japan.

cartoon (i. e. Maus) and what would it be about?
From Jemissu-F

KICKCHEAT: {says while typing} Eurpean

LIGHTNING GUY: My God! The word was in the email and you still can't spell it right!

cartoon eh? I've never seen an eurpean cartoon before. I don't know about Maus either. I'll forward this to Strong Bad later, but for now. Japanese cartoons I have seen before. Well, its the only way to go. Japanese cartoon or no e-mail. I pick cartoon.

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Hey, wait a minute! You've seen one of those europian

LIGHTNING GUY: I'm going to go bang my head against the wall now.

HOMSAR: This smells like a familiar ex-girlfriend.

HOMESTAR: Does evewyone bang theiw heads on walls when jokes fly ovew theiw head?

NAMINE: Yes.

cartoons before!

KICKCHEAT: Oh yeah. Now I remember! It was that movie that did horrible in theaters.

KICKCHEAT: So I have seen one. Lets see what I remember.

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Don't mess up moron!

LIGHTNING GUY: He's already messed up moron and every form of it.

HOMESTAR: He fowgot Lionel Wichie!

{Cut to a white screen with KickCheat standing there. As he describes how he would look different, the changes are applied}

KICKCHEAT: Okay, so first. All of my hair would be hanging down.{a poping sound is made} My eyes would be as small as peas, and my voice would sound british. {speaks gibberish in british} Oh, I would also have a long mustache like old-timey Strong Bad for some weird reason. Top hat maybe. Then it could be about me in France as some sort of hero that gives bread and does stunts on the Eiffel Tower.

LIGHTNING GUY: that's pretty much an accurate description of european cartoons

{Cut to Kikchittosan jumping off the Eiffel Tower only to fall 3 feet. Cut to Kikchittosan riding on a bike down the steps of the Eiffel Tower. Wipes out.

LIGHTNING GUY: Or, as they say in France, "wipes out" in French (I mean British since it's a cartoon).

HOMSAR: CaaaaAAAAn Thunderbolt Bloke get a do-over?

Cut to him jumping off the peak of the Eiffel Tower. Cut to him landing in the european cartoon version of the fieldFrench

LIGHTNING GUY: ugh

music is played in the background}

KICKCHEAT: {offscreen} The voices would be done by an United Kingdom person.

LIGHTNING GUY: ...you mean a British person?

NAMINE: English

Since they speak British?

NAMINE: No, seriously, you mean English. British is not a language.

Like they do everywhere in Europe?

NAMINE: Not everyone is fluent in English in Europe.

Come on! I'm trying to work

NAMINE: You're really not.

with you here!

{European Homestar and European Strong Bad walk onsreen}

EUROPEAN STRONG BAD: Hey Kikchittosan. Can he have some bread?

EUROPEAN HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah! Can we?

KIKCHITTOSAN: Aren't you guys suppost to hate each other?

EUROPEAN STRONG BAD: Oh, right.

{European Homestar runner and European Strong Bad begin fighting}

LIGHTNING GUY: That seems like something they'd do.

HOMESTAR: Actually, Stwong Bad and I get along wathew well. It's intewesting to have people think we hate each othew, though.

KIKCHITTOSAN: You two we're raised by Stinkoman. {under his breath} Freaks.

{cut to credits that are made teen girl squad way}

Executive Producer

Nine Nine

Producer

Doreauxgard

Director

Douglas Franz

Douglases stupid little brother

LIGHTNING GUY: Do you have any idea what a proper noun is? ANY?

'{Cut back to the Kickix with KickCheat asleep. Wakes up a few seconds later}

KICKCHEAT: Huh? Oh! {says while typing} What kind of saturday morning cartoon was that?

LIGHTNING GUY: A European one, apparently.

{Stops typing}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Something that shows me beating up Homestar.

KICKCHEAT: Shut it up Strong Bad!

LIGHTNING GUY: I love how they were best friends in the last two emails.

Anyway, see ya next time...maybe!

LIGHTNING GUY: Maybe not. PLEASE be a maybe not.

{The paper comes down saying "Click here to e-mail Kikchittosan at [email protected]"}

KICKCHEAT: Cut it out about the cartoon! Lets see Strong Bad answer this! {Clicks on Fw} Good luck Strong Bad!

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} The e-mail is over stupid!

Easter Eggs

• Click on cartoon to see Homestar watching the european cartoon

• Click on saturday to see Strong Bad answer the e-mail

Homestar Easter Egg Script

{Cut to Homestar watching television}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: This is one good cartoon. I should become a character.

LIGHTNING GUY: I love your enthusiasm.

HOMESTAR: Except, that's how I nowmally talk. I have no idea why people wwite out my speech impediments, though.
{Homestar makes a :9 face, while pronouncing "though" as "dough"}

Strong Bad Easter egg Script

{Cut to Strong Bad on the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: KickCheat is in for it big time.

Dear Kikchittosan,
There are way too many Japanese cartoons. So,
what would you look like in a European
cartoon (i. e. Maus) and what would it be about?
From Jemissu-F

STRONG BAD: This is crap! Time to get DELETED!!

LIGHTNING GUY: Yeah! That'll teach him!