RiffText/RTOD/KickCheat E-mails/Electromaniacs

KickCheat E-mail #2

Eric asks KickCheat if he wants to join Electromaniacs.

Cast (In order of appearrance): KickCheat, Homsar, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Bear-Shark, Strong Sad, Homestar Runner, 20eric06 (easter egg)

Places: The Computer room, The field, Strong Badia, The stick, Electromaniacs

LIGHTNING GUY: Wait, Electromaniacs is a place?

NAMINE: It could be his universe's equivalent to Best Buy.

Computer: Kickix 500

Lines: 59

Script

KICKCHEAT: {Clicks on e-mail while talking} This e-mail show is brought to by KickCheat INC.

LIGHTNING GUY: Wow, the intro actually gets more boring every episode.

Dear KickCheat,

"We"

LIGHTNING GUY: Those quotes imply

NAMINE: They imply nothing.

that it's actually some dude in his mom's basement

HOMESTAR: Ovewused joke.

kept company by a bunch of underfed cats.

HOMSAR: The Health Code doesn't get a lot of respect from the youngsters, these days.

at Electromaniacs are in need of a new game.
And "we" thought that ou could join "us" for a
payment of $0,00/month.
Would you want to join "us" and help making the most
awesomingly

LIGHTNING GUY: ...

HOMESTAR: And this is any diffewent fwom "Cwapfully Youws," how?

games ever?

Waiting for an answer,
Eric, Electromaniacs CEO, Programmer, Graphics
Designer and Playtester.

KICKCHEAT: Hmmm...this sounds promising!

KICKCHEAT: Make a new game eh Eric? {excited} Count me in!

{cut to a zoom out.

LIGHTNING GUY: Wait, are you cutting or zooming out? If he's just going to leave his stool, neither is necessary. Stop abusing camera functions, please.

KickCheat jumps of his stool and walks off screen. Cut to Homsar in the field}

HOMSAR: I need a tofu pizza milk.

LIGHTNING GUY: Hint: Being random

HOMSAR: If the dice lied, I wouldn't be the best.

does not automatically

NAMINE: Jokes aren't something you just crunch out every line.

make funny.

{KickCheat walks onscreen up to Homsar}

KICKCHEAT: Hey wierdo.

LIGHTNING GUY: At least he can spell.

Do you know where Electromaniacs is?

HOMSAR: Blue is a kind of hamburger.

LIGHTNING GUY: You really have no idea how to write for Homsar, do you?

HOMSAR: The pen is not a challenge compared to the swordsmanship.

KICKCHEAT: If you are going to talk about worthless crap, get out of this e-mail.

LIGHTNING GUY: I could say the same to you.

{KickCheat walks away}

HOMSAR: {Sadly} I do what I'm told.

LIGHTNING GUY: Now you're just copying quotes! Are you that desperate?

KICKCHEAT: {offscreen shouting} No you don't moron!

LIGHTNING GUY: No one knows how to moron better than you.

{cut to Strongbadia. Strong Bad is standing doing nothing}

STRONG BAD {annoyed} I thought that Eric guy said that Electromaniacs is here in Strongbadia!

{KickCheat walks up to Strong Bad}

KICKCHEAT: Hey prank caller,

LIGHTNING GUY: Crap, I've been busted!

HOMESTAR: Why insewt youwself as the pwank callew? It's cleawly Stwong Bad.

have you seen a place called Electromaniacs?

STRONG BAD As a matter of fact, I am looking for that place.

KICKCHEAT: {surprised} You too?

STRONG BAD Yeah. I want to make better games without pay.

LIGHTNING GUY: "Maybe improve the health care system and end world hunger on the way."

KICKCHEAT: {surprised} WHAT?! You get no pay?

STRONG BAD You didn't know that?

KICKCHEAT: No.

LIGHTNING GUY: The action never stops.

NAMINE: One day, I need to get down to business-

HOMESTAR: Bweesness.
NAMINE: And write a long-length action sequence in the most purple of prose imaginable.
HOMESTAR: Wouldn't that just be violet?

HOMSAR: Excuuuuuuuuse me, while I kiss the sky.

STRONG BAD Then do you still want to join?

KICKCHEAT: Yes. No. Yes. No. I don't know! I am heading back to my house!

{KickCheat runs away}

LIGHTNING GUY: Diarrhea?

NAMINE: Now how I'd look at the "runs away" action, no.

Don't worry, it hits us all.

STRONG BAD Now back to finding Electromaniacs.

{cut to KickCheat at his computer}

KICKCHEAT: {says while typing} I don't know where you are Eric,

LIGHTNING GUY: He's pretty much Eric everywhere. Except in Las Vegas. He's known as Pete the Slug down there.

but I still want to join. {stops typing} I am going to play a game I made now. {closes his e-mail and clicks on file and chooses "CheatFreak"}

KICKCHEAT: Now this is a fun game.

LIGHTNING GUY: It never was and it still isn't.

You try to scare The Cheat with The Bear holding a Shark. {He scares The Cheat on his game}

LIGHTNING GUY: Who scares the Cheat on who's game? Your pronoun usage is a crying shame.

Mabye I should have stayed with Strong Bad. I gotta go! {leaves}

{cut to Strongbadia. Strong Bad is gone. KickCheat walks upto the fence}

LIGHTNING GUY: There are so many things wrong with this one line of action. I can't even...

KICKCHEAT: {shouting} Strong Bad! Where the crap are you?

{The Cheat walks upto KickCheat}

KICKCHEAT: Hey The Cheat. Have you seen Strong Bad?

THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}

KICKCHEAT: {gasps} He's been kidnapped?

{The Cheat giggles}

LIGHTNING GUY: There were so many alternatives to that last word.

{The Cheat does the Cheat equivalent of laughing}

THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises}
HOMESTAR: Come to join in on this last huwwah of wiffing from Noxigaw and Namine?
{The Cheat shrugs, then sits down.}
NAMINE: How nice of you.
{Namine leans over to Homestar.}
NAMINE: {whispers} How many more Homestar characters are going to show up?

HOMESTAR: {whispers back} Oh, I'm not suwe. Stwong Bad ignowes my invitations, and I'm faiwly cewtain I didn't send out many.

So many. {breaks down and cries}

KICKCHEAT: {sarcasticly} Oh, like you are a big help. I'm out of here. {leaves}

{cut to KickCheat at The Stick with Strong Sad}

KICKCHEAT: Hey Mr. Elephant.

LIGHTNING GUY: See, it's funny because it just is.

Have you seen Strong Bad?

STRONG SAD: Over there at Electromaniacs. Right behind me.

KICKCHEAT: Thanks.

LIGHTNING GUY: I am literally on the edge of my seat right now.

{KickCheat walks past Strong Sad. Cut to the outside of Electromaniacs}

KICKCHEAT: Found it!

{The paper comes down saying "Click here to e-mail KickCheat at [email protected]"}

KICKCHEAT: Hey, wait a minute. This e-mail isn't over! Homestar hasn't appeared yet!

LIGHTNING GUY: What? I-I thought you were looking for Strong Bad. How did you

{Homestar walks onscreen}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hello blue dots. I am needed like you said.

KICKCHEAT: To late star shirt.

LIGHTNING GUY: But be aware: the road to late is a long one!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {disapointed} Awww man!

{ten seconds later}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ummm...are we suppost

LIGHTNING GUY: That's just unforgivable.

to be doing something?

KICKCHEAT: Yeah, I wanted to join Electromaniacs!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You can't now?

KICKCHEAT: {disapointed} The e-mail is over.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay Red shirt guy! {leaves}

KICKCHEAT: And in I go!

LIGHTNING GUY: Yeah okay Shakespeare.

Homestar would just follow me if I went when he was there!{Runs inside Electromaniacs}

Easter eggs

• Click on KickCheat to see Strong Bad at Electromaniacs.

Script

{cut to Strong Bad inside Electromaniacs}

STRONG BAD This is it!

{Eric walks on screen}

ERIC: Hello Mr. Bad. I got note you want to join.

STRONG BAD: Yes sir.

LIGHTNING GUY: This sounds so much like Strong Bad.

HOMESTAR: It does note his lack of "competition." {Homestar tries to say "competition" in Strong Bad's old-school accent}

It's uncanny.

ERIC: Good. We'll have to put you in our class first.

STRONG BAD: {disapointed} Aww man!

Inside References

• "I do what I'm told" is a phrase from the Strong Bad e-mail Dragon

• The Bear-Shark scaring The Cheat is from the Strong Bad e-mail Date.