RiffText/NukeNoid/6

{Scene: The belowdecks from the previous episode. Cesar is rubbing his hand against his jaw. Greaser is restraining Nacho.}

NACHO: Rook, you better get your damn hands off of me!

NOXIGAR: {imitating Nacho} I can't touch little boys, or let them touch me!

GREASER: Nacho, Nacho, calm down! You don't want to beat this guy, you're just angry!

NACHO: Damn straight I am!

CESAR: Ow, holmes, that really hurt...you've gotten tougher over the years!

NACHO: And you should've been dead over those years!

CESAR: Listen, Pack, listen, there's an explanation for it all.

NACHO: {steps back from Greaser} Well, you better hurry up and tell it, because my finger {waves gun} is on the trigger, and I'm not as able as I used to be. Might slip.

{cut to some hallways. Pirates are loitering around, talking about something unimportant. A man in a cruise captain's outfit comes running through the halls, pushing them aside. As they look back at him, they are both shot in the head. Bluebry Bullets runs down the hall, after the captain.}

BLUEBRY BULLETS: Can't hide forever, cappy!

{The captain runs around several corners, occasionally firing shots back at Bluebry Bullets. Bluebry can be heard laughing behind him. The Captain suddenly slams a door to his side and quietly keeps on running. Bluebry Bullets reaches the door he shut and kicks it open. He runs down that hall. Around the corner, the captain breathes a sigh of relief. He walks over to a door at the end of the hall and opens it. He walks in the room, which appears to be his living quarters. He goes over to a nightstand, pulls out a gun, and loads it. Suddenly, Danzal appears behind him and forces him up against the wall, holding a blade. He drops the gun.}

CAPTAIN: Wh-who are you?

DANZAL: I am The Crimzon Zerpent, and it lookz like you're hiz next victim.

CAPTAIN: {panicking} No, no, no! I'll do anything you ask, anything! I-I'll...just spare me, please!

DANZAL: Vell...if it vere up to me, perhapz I vould take thiz offer. But my friend here vill have to decide.

CAPTAIN: F-friend?

{Bluebry Bullets crashes through the ceiling. Danzal throws the captain to the floor, allowing Bluebry to put his foot on his back, with his gun aimed at him.}

BLUEBTY BULLETS: You didn't really think I'd fall for that, did you?

CAPTAIN: Henderson! And his partner...I don't know his name...they run this cruise, and they're the ones that hired the pirates...

DANZAL: Vhy vould they ruin their own cruize? {sighs} Villains...

NOXIGAR: It's called a ruse.

CAPTAIN: I don't know why they did it, but they did...if you want to get the guys responsible, it's them.

BLUEBRY BULLETS: {speaking into wrist} Roger, this is Bullets, targets are two men, one named Henderson. Orchestrated this whole shebang, including the pirate attack. No known location.

CAPTAIN: Am-am I spared, then...?

BLUEBRY BULLETS: {puts hand to chin, waves gun around} Hmmm.....

{cut back Belowdecks.}

CESAR: I was scared, Pack. I didn't know what to do. If I'd stayed in San Antone, I woulda been a goner for sure. And you probably would have been, too. I did it for both of us.

{Nacho walks around the room. He goes up to the dead body of Henderson.}

NACHO: Who's this?

CESAR: My employer. Didn't tell me I wasn't just gonna be a security guy.

{Nacho kicks over the body to read a nametag that says Henderson. Suddenly, Bluebry's message buzzes in and Cesar backs away from them.}

CESAR: Hey, what's going on?

GREASER: I think you know a little bit more about this then you pretend to...

CESAR: Well, then...that's bad luck for you, holmes.

{Cesar pulls out a gun and shoots at the ceiling. The lights go out and Cesar is heard running off. Nacho and Greaser try to chase after him.}

NACHO: {slams gun against wall} Dammit! If you hadn't held me back...

GREASER: Listen, old man, I may not have been in this "business" as long as you, but you don't just kill somebody for no good reason!

NOXIGAR: You were about to attack Cesar. Practice what you preach!

NACHO: Maybe if this wasn't my problem, you'd be saying something different. Maybe if it was the people that killed your crew-

GREASER: Let's just stop arguing and get that guy, alright?

{Nacho fires shots forward. Cut to the main deck. Some tourists are tied up in a stairwell. Charging Chwoka rolls down the stairs and unties them.}

CHARGING CHWOKA: Go, go, down there!

{The tourists quickly run down. Dinomyte and Brooks Jaxxon walk up the stairs behind Charging Chwoka, who is throwing a grenade.}

CHARGING CHWOKA: Yeah! {explosion} Take that!

{Dinomyte smacks on Charging Chwoka's shoulder, causing him to jitter back and wave his gun.}

CHARGING CHWOKA: Who the-Jesus Christ, Dino, don't do that!

DINOMYTE: Hey, Chwoko, I'm just excited to see that you ain't dead yet, 'zal!

BROOKS JAXXON: Yeah, but Dino, I think distracting him in the middle of combat isn't a good idea.

{Nuclear Noid walks down to the stairwell.}

NUCLEAR NOID: Not much combat anymore. Deck's all clear.

{Bluebry Bullets, Danzal, and Mu walk up to the rest from the bottom of the stairwell. Bluebry Bullet's boot is splashed with blood.}

DANZAL: And the piratez are cleared from the rezt of the ship.

BROOKS JAXXON: {pointing to Bluebry Bullets' boot} What's the deal with that?

BLUEBRY BULLETS: Hmm? {looks down} Oh, interrogation with the ship's captain. Got a little messy.

NOXIGAR: IT'S FUNNY 'CAUSE YOU BLEW HIS BRAINS OUT INSTEAD OF ASKING HIM QUESTIONS.

DANZAL: That waz...not an experience I'd like to relive.

BLUEBRY BULLETS: {shrugs} Gets the job done.

BROOKS JAXXON: It looks like the entire Team is here.

NUCLEAR NOID: Yeah, except for Nacho and Greaser. No idea where they are.

NOXIGAR: Doing something useful and chasing the actual antagonist, unlike the rest of you.

MU: I haven't received any communication from either of them. They're supposed to be Belowdecks, though.

NUCLEAR NOID: Well...making rounds won't hurt.

NOXIGAR: Especially since they're someone else's rounds.

{The others curse and groan as they walk down the stairwell. Cut to a large boiler room. Cesar runs behind a crate and ducks down as bullets pierce through it, soaring above his head. He crawls forward, looking back and firing from his gun. He reaches a fork in the path of crates and heads left. Nacho and Greaser run up to the fork. Greaser goes left while Nacho goes right. We switch to an overhead shot, where we see them maneuvering through a seemingly maze-like path of crates, until Greaser hits a dead end. He turns around to see Nacho there, sighing.}

NACHO: Damnit...looks like he threw us for a bit of a loop.

GREASER: Well, he's definitely still on the ship, at least. And I'll bet he's still in this maze. Come on, let's go.

NOXIGAR: A-MAZE-ing assertion!

{Greaser walks forward and down a path. Suddenly, he hears Nacho yell, and a loud clang noise. He turns around to see Nacho standing over Nacho, transforming into Cesar. Nacho is holding a pipe.}

NACHO: Bastard.

GREASER: What...I don't understand...

NACHO: He's a shapeshifter, rook. Probably got it from Gitmosplosion or some of the fallout.

CESAR: {getting up} It was the fallout...

NACHO: Now you listen here, Cesar. I don't care why you faked your death back in San Antonio or what you've been doing since then. But I wanna know what the deal is here.

CESAR: Alright, alright...Henderson wasn't my employer. He was my partner.

GREASER: You're the other guy? They would've said if you were Hispani-oh...

NOXIGAR: SHAPESHIFTER, ROOK. SHAPESHIFTER.

CESAR: Yeah, pretty good, right? I can go hopping. If something goes bad, I'll just reinvent myself. Start anew. But it went a little too bad here. I got...conflicted in some business. And the only way out was to get some attacks, you know. And Nacho, I swear to you, I was clean and everything and-

NACHO: Don't you lie to me, Cesar. You haven't been clean since, hell, ever.

CESAR: That's cold, holmes. You know me better than anyone and you know what it was like for me back in the SAPD.

NACHO: I thought I knew you, Cesar. But I'm not sure I ever really did at all now.

CESAR: That's too bad...I guess you'll just have to {pulls out a remote} die that way.

{He presses a button on the remote and charges through some crates, running off. Suddenly, the boilers across the room explode, causing predictable damage. Fires start to engulf everything, and Greaser and Nacho head for the stairs, sprinting as fast as they can.}

GREASER: What about him?!

NACHO: Let him die!

{Greaser looks at Nacho for a second and they continue sprinting on until they reach the doors. The slam them open and climb up the stairs until they reach the rest of the Team.}

MU: Guys, what the hell was that explo-

NACHO: No time! We need to get out of here, on the pirate's ship! Move!

{The Team runs up the stairs. Cut to the main deck. You can see the pirate ship nearby it. They all board the pirate ship as the cruise liner begins to sink.}

BROOKS JAXXON: What about the hostages?

MU: They're all here already, Brooks. No need to worry. Mission accomplished.

{Nacho looks down uneasily as the others, save Greaser, cheer. It then fades to an image of the boat at sea, at nighttime. The Team is sitting at a table, playing poker and drinking. Dinomyte is enthusiastic.}

NUCLEAR NOID: Guys, before we play this next hand...I just wanted to make a toast {raises glass} to Sixpack Smith, the ass that's leaving us in the cold! To Nacho!

{The others toast to Nacho and drink their glasses.}

GREASER: So, what are you gonna do now, Nacho?

NACHO: I actually don't think I am retiring now. There's still plenty of scum out there, and I just realized that I need to help take care of them.

NOXIGAR: Cool story, bro. You finally stop being a static character.

{The rest of the Team cheer for Nacho. Dinomyte gets up off the floor and begins to take his armor off.}

DINOMYTE: Let's have a divin' contest!

{The rest of the Team gets up and follows him, except for Greaser and Nacho. Mu is holding a video recorder.}

GREASER: Say, out of curiosity...was this "not retiring" thing influenced by Cesar?

NACHO: Kid, I'm not gonna let my past control what I do.

{Nacho turns around, looking out at sea. The scene cuts to an oil tanker, where a worker is in the same position, looking out to sea. Suddenly, he transforms into Cesar and runs around a corner.}

NACHO: {voice} But yes.

{The shot cuts to an overhead view of the oil tanker for a few seconds before fading to a black screen with "THE END" on it.}

NOXIGAR: Almost finished...