RiffText/Kirbychu emails.pie/Zoo977

Summary

Kirbychu finds out who sent his second e-mail!

LIGHTNING GUY: And two emails from now, he'll discover who sent this one. It's a wonderful cycle of stupidity!

Cast (in order of appearance): Kirbychu, Albino, Homestar, Bubs, Strong Bad, Zoo977.

Places: Kirbychu's Computer Room, The Stick, Kirbychu's Lab, Bubs Concession Stand, Strong Bad's basement.

Date: February 26, 2008

Transcript

{Cut to Kirbychu's computer room. Kirbychu walks in and sits down.}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: I haven't seen The DS today. Oh well, he'll probably show up by the end of the email. {opens outlook express}

LIGHTNING GUY: Were you not in the mood for an email song today, either? It's all right. Take your time.

Dear DS-less,

LIGHTNING GUY: How coincidental.

Your Nintendo DS is currently shattered into many of pieces by the stick. I took all of the most important pieces and burned them. And it was ME that sent the email that got you in jail! HAHA! And considering i bend reality, DOUBLE HAHA!

LIGHTNING GUY: Suck on that, Mary lack of Sue.

Sincerely,
Albino(zoos cheat)

{He stops reading at "I took all of the most important pieces and burned them."}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: NOOOOOO! Well, at least it's I fire-proofed it.

LIGHTNING GUY: Apparently extremely bad if they managed to get burned.

I also have all of the tools to fix it at my lab. I'll go get the pieces!

{Cut to The Stick. Albino is there wit a fire burning

LIGHTNING GUY: wit da s'moes an da steeks

in front of him. There is also a pile of plastic pieces next to him. Kirbychu walks in}

'ALBINO: Good, you're finally here. Now to...

KIRBYCHU HR'D: {interrupting} Oh, hi Albino. Look, I'm a little busy now, can we talk later? {he gets all of the pieces} See ya later. {runs off}

LIGHTNING GUY: Impolite much?

{Cut to Kirbychu's lab. Kirbychu is there with the DS pieces. He is standing next to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR: Why am I here again?

KIRBYCHU HR'D: You need to hand me things when I ask for them.

HOMESTAR: Oh.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Glue.

HOMESTAR: Glue. {hands Kirbychu a bottle of glue}

LIGHTNING GUY: The action never stops.

{The screen fades to black. The words "2 HOURS LATER" come up. The screen fades back to Kirbychu and Homestar.}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Well it took 2 hours, but at least it's fixed. Now it just needs to charge. In the mean time, I should finish reading that e-mail. {Kirbychu walks back to the computer room and sits down. He then reads the rest of the e-mail.} THAT WAS YOU! I don't believe you. It was obviously your owner, Zoo977.

LIGHTNING GUY: He knows this stuff because he knows everything.

{Cut to The Stick. Albino is still there. Kirbychu walks up.}

ALBINO: FINALLY!

KIRBYCHU HR'D: I'll get you an ice cream if you go get Zoo.

ALBINO: Okay!

LIGHTNING GUY: But I thought short guys like him were all lactose intolerant.

{They walk off. Cut to Bubs Concession Stand. Kirbychu and Albino walk up.}

BUBS: Hello, what do you need.

LIGHTNING GUY: What do you have.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: 1 ice cream cone, please.

BUBS: What flavor?

KIRBYCHU HR'D: What flavor?

ALBINO: Vanilla.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Vanilla.

BUBS: What size?

KIRBYCHU HR'D: What size?

ALBINO: Waffle cone.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: A waffle cone.

BUBS: How many scoops?

KIRBYCHU HR'D: How many scoops?

ALBINO: Three.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Three.

LIGHTNING GUY: This was the most useful conversation on the page.

BUBS: Here you go. {hands Kirbychu an ice cream} That'll be $50.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: WHAT!!

LIGHTNING GUY: In that economy, you're lucky to see that.

How about $50 in pencil shavings?

BUBS: That's fine.

LIGHTNING GUY: This is why the economy's so bad there.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Here you go.

{He hand Bubs a pile of pencil shavings and walks off.}

ALBINO: Thanks. I'll go get Zoo.

LIGHTNING GUY: But Kirbychu didn't give you the ice cream y-

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Good. {walks off}

LIGHTNING GUY: Oh, you sly...whatever you are.

{Cut to Strong Bad's basement. Strong Bad is on the couch. Kirbychu walks up.}

STRONG BAD: What do you want?

KIRBYCHU HR'D: I need your help fighting Zoo977.

LIGHTNING GUY: Don't people talk it out anymore?

Will you come?

STRONG BAD: I've got nothing better to do.

{Cut back to The Stick, where Zoo is standing. Kirbychu and Strong Bad walk up.}

ZOO977: Ready to fight?

LIGHTNING GUY: Why can't we be friends?

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Yep, But first why don't you put on some fancy aftershave so you smell good?

LIGHTNING GUY: There's no point in getting dirty if you already smell like crap.

ZOO977: Fine.

STRONG BAD: Here you go. {hands Zoo a container of gas}

LIGHTNING GUY: That's not suspicious at all.

ZOO977: Thanks. {He covers himself with the gas}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: And who would fight without having a fancy gum cigar first?

LIGHTNING GUY: This dude is the queen of physical conflicts.

This thing is so fancy, you even need to light it! {hands Zoo a gum cigar}

ZOO977: Thanks. {He pulls out a lighter and lights the gum cigar}

LIGHTNING GUY: That's even less suspicious.

{Zoo catches fire,

LIGHTNING GUY: How ever did that happen?

and flies away.}

ZOO977: I'LL BE BACK!

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Where will I find another paper to end this email?

LIGHTNING GUY: Maybe you could actually use a paper this time.

{a tv pops from the top of the screen}

LIGHTNING GUY: This is no time to watch Desperate Housewives!

KIRBYCHU HR'D: A tv to replace The DS? Perfect! {begins to dance}

{"Kirbychu HR'D is currently partying.

LIGHTNING GUY: By himself.

please leave a message." appears on the TV.}

Trivia

• The "fancy aftershave" and the cigar are reference to to the Strong Bad e-mail "Lady...ing".

• It is unknown who really wrote the email. Albino could have written that he bends reality to blame it on Zoo, and Zoo could have signed it from Albino.