Records Of Bell/Records/34

Summary

The cast goes to WonderCon 2805.

Cast: Sarah, Mature Bling, Tracy, Im a bell,

Places: Mature Bling's Living Room,

Insult: rusty old spoons

Credit Joke: Ambush Bug

Episode Information: 604-4chan References Aren't Always Funny

Transcript

{open to MB's living room. The cast, aside from Bell, is here. The door flings open, and Bell marches onscreen}

SARAH: ...Wh-

IM A BELL: ATTENTION! FROM NOW ON WE WILL BE MORE NORMAL!

MATURE BLING: ...Oookay.

IM A BELL: NOW, EVERYONE PUT PAPER BAGS OVER YOUR HEADS AND DANCE AROUND WHILST HUMMING THE DOCTOR WHO THEME {pulls out a paper bag, puts on head, starts dancing in a circle} DOO DOO DOODALEEDOO DOODALEEDOO DOODALEEDOO DAH DOO DOODALEEDOO DOODALEEDOO DOOOOO DAH DOH DOOOO DADOO DADOOOOO DADOODADOOOOO DADOO DADOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

TRACY: HOW THE HELL IS THIS NORMAL?!

IM A BELL: QUIET YOU

{cue opening theme. Cut back to the living room. Once again, Bell is not here. MB is typing something on a laptop}

MATURE BLING: ...Hey, what does the title of this episode have to do with anything?

TRACY: This is episode 34, dumbass.

MATURE BLING: ...DAMN YOU, INTERNETS-

{Bell runs onscreen holding some plastic tickets. He is in his fursona form}

IM A BELL: GUESS WHAT WE'RE GOING TO A CONVENTION GET YOUR FURSONAS ON {hands a pass to everyone else}

TRACY:{transforms into fursona} ANTHROCON YAY

{Sarah transforms into her fursona}

IM A BELL: ...AnthroCon? We're going to WonderCon.

TRACY: ...Then why the hell did you make us transform into-

IM A BELL: Why not?

TRACY: ...Good point.

MATURE BLING: CAN WE JUST GO ALREADY‽

IM A BELL:{nods} Interrobang.

TRACY: Teehee.

{cut to the San Francisco International Airport. A plane lands. Cut to the Moscone Center South. It has a large banner above its doors reading "WonderCon 2805". The cast walks onscreen, and into the building. Cut to inside the building. A security guard slides onscreen}

GUARD: PASSES PLEASE

{the cast shows the guard their passes}

GUARD: Hmm... OKAY YOU CAN GO IN YA STUPID FURRIES

TRACY: How dare y-

IM A BELL: THANK YOU, SIR. {drags Tracy offscreen}

{cut to further inside the convention. The group walks onscreen}

MATURE BLING: Hmm... Where should we go first?

TRACY: Where's the hentai?

IM A BELL: This is WONDERCON. They don't sell hentai here!

TRACY: ...Oh. Right. Hehe...

MATURE BLING: Dumbass...

TRACY: WHAT WAS THAT

MATURE BLING: N-NOTHING! Nothing! Freak...

TRACY: WHAT DID Y-

RANDOM PERSON:{offscreen} SHUT UP!

TRACY: Sorry!

SARAH: Can we just go already?!

TRACY: OKAY, OKAY. JESUS.

RANDOM PERSON:{offscreen} WHAT DID I JUST SAY

TRACY: Eep.

{cut to somewhere else in the convention. The cast walks onscreen}

TRACY: WAIT WHAT IS THAT

MATURE BLING: ...Haruhi figurines, I believe. Figmas, to be exact. Why-

TRACY: HARUHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII {runs toward the figmas}

SARAH: H-HEY! {starts to run after Tracy} COME BACK H-

IM A BELL:{grabs Sarah's arm} No, just let him buy his toys. {sighs}

SARAH: Oh, alright...

{pause}

MATURE BLING: ...I say we leave him here.

BELL & SARAH: Agreed.

{cut to a while later. The cast, sans Tracy, walk onscreen}

IM A BELL: Hmm... {grabs a box set of DVDs} Neon Genesis Evangelion, huh? I've always wanted to see this-

{A nerd that is male, fat, hairy, and dressed as Rei Ayanami walks up to Bell}

RANDOM NERD:' DUUUUUUUUUUDE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN EVANGELION WHAT THE HELL

IM A BELL: ...You reek of sweat and day-old pizza.

RANDOM NERD: WHAT {lifts up shirt, reaches into one of his many rolls of fat, pulls out from it a slice of pepperoni pizza dripping with what appears to be sweat} ... {devours the pizza slice}

SARAH: ... {grabs from offscreen a Stormtrooper helmet, vomits into it, places it back offscreen}

RANDOM NERD: BUT SERIOUSLY YOU HAVEN'T SEEN EVANGELION

{another male, fat, and hairy nerd walks up next to the first nerd. He is dressed as Asuka Langley Soryu}

RANDOM NERD 2: HE HASN'T

RANDOM NERD 1: NO

RANDOM NERD 2: WHAT KIND OF IDIOT HASN'T SEEN EVANGELION

RANDOM NERD 1: I KNOW RIGHT

{the two nerds stare at eachother for a few seconds, and then start making out with eachother}

SARAH: ... {grabs the Stormtrooper helmet again, vomits into it again, places it back offscreen}

IM A BELL: Eeeeuuuuunnnnnnnggghhhhhhhhhhhh...

MATURE BLING: LET'S JUST GO ALREADY

{Bell, Sarah, and MB walk offscreen. A guy dressed as a stormtrooper, sans helmet, walks onscreen}

STORMTROOPER: Oh, HERE'S my helmet! {grabs the Stormtrooper helmet from offscreen, turns it upside down, and places on his head} ...AGH ENGH OH GOD

{vomit starts seeping out from under the helmet. Cut to somewhere else in the convention}

IM A BELL: Hmm... Where should we head now?

MATURE BLING: Let's go find Tracy.

{cut to a disturbingly detailed close-up of Bell's face}

IM A BELL: Eunghhh...

{cut back}

IM A BELL: Maybe later.

MATURE BLING: But-

{cut back to the close-up for two seconds, and then cut back}

MATURE BLING: ...No, really, we-

{cut back to the close-up for two seconds, and then cut to a not-so-detailed close-up of Mature Bling. The camera starts switching between Bell's disturbing close-up and MB's close-up, each lasting two seconds each. Each time, MB's face has a different expression. In order, they are; an exasperated face, O_o, :I, , a facepalm, and a fist. Cut back to the group. Bell is laying on the ground. MB is stepping on his stomach repeatedly}

MATURE BLING:{each syllable is said during a step} We're. Go. Ing. To. Find. Tra. Cy.

IM A BELL: Dear Primus, if you want to find him, look for him yourself and leave us alone.

MATURE BLING: What a wonderful idea! {runs offscreen, runs back onscreen, kicks Bell in the nuts, runs back offscreen}

IM A BELL: Ow.

{cut to somewhere else within the convention. Tracy is carrying plastic bags filled with stuff}

TRACY:{singing badly} I've got Haruhi-chan figmas! I've got Churuya-san! I've got Haruhi-chan figmas! I've got Harunyan! I've got HaaAAH- {is pulled offscreen by an unseen figure}

{MB walks onscreen, looking around. After a few seconds, he walks offscreen. Cut back to Bell and Sarah walking around the convention}

IM A BELL: Hmm... Hmmmmmm... {passes a table with baseball caps that look similar to Ambush Bug's face, complete with antennae, stops walking, looks at the hats} ...

{cut to a short while later. Bell is wearing one of the Ambush Bug hats, and has a face similar to that of Churuya-san's}

SARAH: Okay, I understand that you're a fan of the Ambush Bug series, but did you have to buy four of the hats?

IM A BELL: Yes. I need one for wearing, one for replacing the first one when I forget to adjust the hat size and accidentally rip it in half over my bell-head, one for selling on eBay for a high price, and one for hitting Tracy with.

SARAH: ...Ooookay.

IM A BELL: ...Say, what day is it?

SARAH: Umm... It's the fitfhtifnh.

IM A BELL: ...What?

SARAH:{coughs up a hairball} Sorry. It's the fifteenth. Why'd you ask?

IM A BELL: I forgot.

{Sarah facepalms. Cut to some empty, poorly-lit room. Tracy is tied to a chair in the middle. Three cloaked figures walk up to him}

TRACY: WHO ARE YOU?! WHY DID YOU CAPTURE ME?!

CLOAKED FIGURE 1:{deep voice} That is for us to know, and for you to never find out.

TRACY: You're all weeaboos who spent all your money on junk food and manga and you want to steal my figmas.

CLOAKED FIGURE 3:{nasal voice} Aww, how'd you know?

CLOAKED FIGURE 2:{voice similar to that of the Squeaky-Voiced Teen} Shut up, Larry!

CLOAKED FIGURE 3: No, you shut up!

CLOAKED FIGURE 2: No, you!

CLOAKED FIGURE 3: No, y-

CLOAKED FIGURE 1: BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! ...Now then. Give me the figmas.

TRACY: No. {kicks Cloaked Figure 1 in the face}

{Cloaked Figure 1's hood is knocked off, behind his head, revealing... nobody, yet. Cut to MB traversing the convention}

MATURE BLING: Traaacyyy! Heeere Tracy Tracy Tracyyy! I have a bodypillow for youuu! {pulls out a Haruhi bodypillow}

{many fat nerds suddenly run onscreen and try to take the bodypillow}

MATURE BLING: AGH! THEY'RE... SWEATING... ALL OVER... MY SLEEVE... HELP...

{more fat nerds run onscreen and cover MB}

MATURE BLING: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHLGHGBLGHGHNGHHLLLHLHLLLLLLH

{cut back to Bell and Sarah, somewhere else within the convention}

IM A BELL:{stomach growling} Hmm... I'm hungry.

SARAH: Yeah, me too. Let's go find some food.

IM A BELL: Do they even sell food here?

SARAH: I hope so.

{cut to a kiosk in the convention with a sign reading "FOOD SLIGHTLY RELATED TO STUFF" on it. Bell and Sarah walk onscreen}

IM A BELL: Hmm...

{Chaos pops out from behind the kiosk}

CHAOS: Hello. You need help with anything?

IM A BELL: Huh? Oh, hey Chaos. You working here?

CHAOS: Why yes, I-Wait, how do you know my name?

IM A BELL: ...Chaos, it's me, Bell.

CHAOS: ...Really?

IM A BELL: Yeah, of course it's me.

CHAOS: ...Well, you two seem kinda hairier than usual.

SARAH: Oh, we're just in our fursona forms.

CHAOS: ...Fursona.

IM A BELL: Yeah. We're furries, didn't you know that?

CHAOS: ... {slides a few inches away from Bell and Sarah} Now I do.

IM A BELL: Look, it's so we don't look very strange.

CHAOS: ...You're both covered in hair.

IM A BELL: It's better than having a giant golden bell over my head.

CHAOS: ...Okay, but why Sarah?

IM A BELL: So me and Tracy won't be the only ones.

CHAOS: Tracy's here? And also a furry?

IM A BELL: Yeah. He's... Somewhere.

SARAH: And MB went to go look for him.

CHAOS: And he's a furry, too?

IM A BELL: Well, he doesn't have a fursona form, if that's what you mean.

CHAOS: ...That kinda defeats the purpose of the whole thing, doesn't it?

IM A BELL:{sighs} Look, it's winter, and our fur keeps us warm. Now, will you get off our backs and sell us some food already?!

CHAOS: Okay, fine. Asshole.

IM A BELL: HEY!

RANDOM PERSON:{offscreen} I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!

RANDOM PERSON 2:{offscreen} YOU SHUT UP!

RANDOM PERSON 1: NO!

{fighting is heard. Cut back to Tracy, whilst Cloaked Figure 1's hood is still being knocked off, revealing...}

TRACY: ...Gilligan?

GILLIGAN:{deep voice} Yes, i-{clears throat, voice becomes normal} Yes, it's me. Who else would try to steal those figmas from you?

TRACY: Uhhh... Skullbuggy.

GILLIGAN: ...Why?

TRACY: So he can melt them down and fling the molten plastic at my window.

GILLIGAN: Oh, right.

TRACY: And not only would it be hard to clean very hot, liquid plastic off of a window, the constant stream of tears blocking my vision over the destruction of my figmas would make it even more difficult.

GILLIGAN: ...Wow. I'm not even that much of a Haruhi fanatic.

TRACY: Well, anyway, I'm not giving you the figmas. Although, I can loan you some money.

GILLIGAN: You will?

TRACY: Only if you pay me back.

GILLIGAN: ...How much time do I have to pay you the money?

TRACY: Uhh... A week, maybe?

GILLIGAN: Okay.

TRACY: Great. {pulls out wallet} How much do you need?

GILLIGAN: ...A hundred bucks?

TRACY: Alright. {pulls out a hundred dollar bill and hands it to Gilligan} Pay me back as soon as you can.

GILLIGAN: Okay! Thanks! {runs off with the two other cloaked figures}

TRACY: ...Wait, come back! Untie me! Hey! HEY!

{cut to the pile of nerds that is covering MB}

TO BE COMPLETED