Records Of Bell/Records/25

Summary

Sarah explores the internet by herself.

Cast: Mature Bling, Im a bell, Sarah, Don Skull, Tracy, Number Five, Rappers, Prostitutes, A FCC/4Kids Guy

Places: A 8-Bit House, The Internet

Episode Information: 501-When Making Secondary Main Character-Based Episodes, Choose Them Carefully

Insult: weird Alabama songs

Credit Joke: The League Of George Bush-Haters

If you don't understand the insult, when you type in "Weird Al songs" in a YouTube comment, and use the Audio Preview, it says "Weird Alabama songs".

Transcript

{open to the outside of an 8-bit house. Cut to the inside, where Bell and co are sitting there. MB is on a couch, alone. Pause five seconds}

MATURE BLING: ...My EYES are BLEEDING. {eyes turn red, swell up, and explode}

IM A BELL: ...WHAT THE F-

{cue opening theme. cut back to inside the house}

IM A BELL: Well, we're stuck here for a while. I suggest we split up and start exploring the place. Any volunteers?

SARAH: I'll do it, I guess.

IM A BELL: Okay. You can start... Now.

{cut to the city. Sarah walks through and trips over something below the screen}

SARAH: AAH! What the-

{camera pans out to show a yellow skullbuggy with 5 on it's sides}

{OOC: SkullB, did I get that description right? Change it if it's wrong.}

SARAH: ...Number Five?

NUMBER FIVE: Yeah, that's me. What of it?

SARAH: What happened to you?

NUMBER FIVE: My stupid older brother canceled The SkullB Movie. Now I don't have anywhere to live, so I just wandered around the internet and ended up here. Once I reached the Mozilla Mountain Range, I couldn't go on any longer. But then, a group of firefoxes led by a Shadow The Hedgehog-like man rescued me and took care of me.

SARAH: Wait, Shadow the Hedgehog-like man? Did he say his name?

NUMBER FIVE: Yeah. Johnny. Johnny K. Bellstrom.

SARAH: My God. Bell's little brother rescued you...

NUMBER FIVE: "Bell"? Is he that git that appeared in Episode 9 of TSS?

SARAH: ...Yes, AND MY HUSBAND IS NOT A GIT.

NUMBER FIVE: ...Oops.

SARAH:{kicks Number Five in the... car-nuts}

NUMBER FIVE: ...WHY DID SKULL INDUSTRIES GIVE US NADS?

SARAH: So you could tell the difference between male and female robots?

NUMBER FIVE: THAT RAISES FURTHER QUESTIONS!

SARAH: ...Shut up.

NUMBER FIVE: Do I have to?

SARAH: I have a knife in my pocket, a shuriken in the other, and I can beat the everloving {bleep} out of anyone as long as they don't grab my upper arm. Fortunately for me, you don't have arms.

NUMBER FIVE: OKAY, OKAY! ...Say, are those real?

SARAH: ... {picks up Number 5, starts repeatedly punching him in the skull-face}

{cut to a few minutes later. Number Five now has numerous cracks in his skull-face}

SARAH: So, are you going to shut up now?

NUMBER FIVE: You still haven't answered my question.

SARAH: For your information, YES they are real. any other annoying comments?

NUMBER FIVE: ...I foresee lower back problems in your future.

SARAH: ...I hate you SO MUCH, but you're gonna have to help me.

NUMBER FIVE:{an eyebrow raises} With what?

SARAH: You have to give me a tour of this place.

NUMBER FIVE:{eyebrow lowers} Oh. I thought you meant something else.

SARAH: ... {reaches into pocket, pulls out a pocket knife}

NUMBER FIVE: I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!

{cut to Sarah and Number Five walking through the town. the place they are currently in is covered in graffiti}

NUMBER FIVE: This is the rapper part of town. There are a few /b/tards here.

SARAH: ...Huh. {walks up behind a rapper} Sir, dare I ask what that is you are singing?

RAPPER: It's Soulja Boy, stupid!

SARAH: ...Who is this boy and why is he a soldier?

RAPPER:{turns around} No, you idiot, SOULJA Boy, not S-Hmm. You're HOT. Wh-why don'tcha come back to my place and maybe we can-

SARAH: For your information, I'm MARRIED. {pulls out the pocket knife}

RAPPER: HEY, EASY WITH THAT THING!

{camera pans over so only Number Five is onscreen. A lot of blood spurts onscreen}

RAPPER: AAGH!! THAT'S NOT GONNA FIT IN THERE!

SARAH: I'LL MAKE IT FIT!!!!

{Number 5's eyes widen. Much more blood spurts onscreen and splashes onto Number 5. Cut to a few minutes later. Sarah now has a lot of blood on her face and shirt}

NUMBER FIVE: I didn't even know you could do that with only a pocket knife and some blue paint.

SARAH: I would've used duct tape and a rabid squirrel as well, but I couldn't find any.

NUMBER FIVE: ...Remind me not to piss you off EVER AGAIN.

SARAH: Aww, why not? My husband's much more fun than you...

NUMBER FIVE: ...You are a VERY scary woman!

SARAH:{smiles} Thank you!

NUMBER FIVE: ...Why do I have the feeling you used to work as a god of death?

SARAH: How did you know?

NUMBER FIVE: ...Why did I agree to help you?

SARAH: Because I would reduce you to scrap metal if you didn't.

NUMBER FIVE: Oh. Right.

{cut to a part of town apparently filled with prostitutes}

NUMBER FIVE: And this is the porn section of the internet.

SARAH:{notices a Hentai store} I'll be right back. {runs into store, runs out a few seconds later} Bah. All censored.

NUMBER FIVE: WHY WOULD YOU GO IN THERE?

SARAH: To get something for my husband. ..And also something for my stepson. ...And maybe something for me.

NUMBER FIVE: ...FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE LIKE THIS, JUST KILL ME NOW! I CAN’T TAKE THIS!

SARAH:{pulls out the pocket knife again} You sure about that?

NUMBER FIVE: ...On second thought, I think it would be worse if I knew I died by the hands of YOU.

SARAH: What are you implying?

NUMBER FIVE: You are a horrible, horrible woman, and I think it would be best if I killed you with my Skullbeam.

SARAH: Is that some sort of euphemism?

NUMBER FIVE: Nope. {charges a Skullbeam, fires it at Sarah}

{it hits Sarah, leaving a massive hole in her stomach, which heals quickly afterward}

NUMBER FIVE: MWAHAHA-OH WHAT THE HELL.

SARAH: ...It’s called immortality, dumbass.

NUMBER FIVE: ...I thought if you were immortal, you would survive anything, but would have to heal normally.

SARAH: No, that’s more of an And I Must Scream thing.

NUMBER FIVE: ...Please do not mention stuff from TV Tropes. People that watch this crap likely don’t even know what it is.

SARAH: ...Shut up.

NUMBER FIVE: Make me.

SARAH:{pulls out the pocket knife, stabs Number 5 in the groin-area. It actually bleeds}

NUMBER FIVE: ...You horrible, psychotic bi-{passes out}

SARAH: ...Oh, damnitty damn damn dammit. {pause} Wait, who in their right mind would build a robot that can bleed from his crotch?

{cut to Sarah dragging Number Five around, with a trail of blood from his crotch. Suddenly, a man with "FCC" on his shirt jumps out of a bush. He is not wearing any pants}

SARAH: WHAT.

FCC GUY: This episode is too adult.

SARAH: ...THIS IS BEING SHOWN ON ADULT SWIM!

FCC GUY: So?

SARAH: Wait a minute... {rips off the FCC Guy's shirt, revealing a different one that reads "4Kids"} I KNEW IT! You guys are a disgrace to the entire nation!

4KIDS GUY: ...We're trying to make kid-friendly-

SARAH: That's complete bull{bleep}! The guy that writes this crap is 12 friggin' years old! And another thing, what kind of a name is "Kirby: Right Back At Ya?" It's so stupid it's hard for me to even utter it!

4KIDS GUY: Well, you see, Kirby absorbs powers and fires them "right back at"-

SARAH: SHUT UP. Kirby of the Stars is a MUCH better name than that!

4KIDS GUY: Well, what does THAT have to do with the show?

SARAH: I can name three reasons. One; Kirby comes from space. Two; Kirby was first seen in a star-shaped spacecraft. Three; Kirby uses a magic flying star as his source of power.

4KIDS GUY: I-Uhh-Umm-Well-AaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-{head explodes, revealing a robotic sketeton}

SARAH: ...Malfunctioning robots. That's... Nice to know.

NUMBER FIVE:{wakes up} Huh? Wha-{notices the long trail of blood} YOU DRAGGED ME THROUGH TOWN WITH MY-{notices the 4Kids robot} LOLWUT.

SARAH: ...Look, I think I'm gonna bring you home with me.

NUMBER FIVE: Will you be as sadistic as you are now?

SARAH: No.

NUMBER FIVE: Thank God.

{cut back to the house. Everyone but Sarah is there. She walks in}

SARAH: Hey, guys! Look what I brought home!

{Number Five wheels in}

NUMBER FIVE: Hi, I'm N-

NUMBER FIVE & DON SKULL: OH WHAT THE HELL.

DON SKULL: Sarah, why did you bring a Skullbuggy here?

NUMBER FIVE:{simultaneous} Sarah, why is there a Skullbuggy here?

SARAH: I thought you two would like eachother. Y'know, since you two are brothers.

NUMBER FIVE: Sarah, I thought Skullbuggies 3 and 4 were scrapped. This is like talking to your brother as a zombie.

DON SKULL: Well, I actually don't have much of a problem with it. I know that The SkullB Movie was canceled, and I DO feel sorry for him.

NUMBER FIVE: Y-you do?

DON SKULL: Yeah, but I'm your OLDER brother. Too bad for you, Five.

NUMBER FIVE: Say, could you, I dunno, give me a better name? I don't want to share a name with a malfunctioning robot that looks like Wall-e's older brother.

IM A BELL: Hmm... How about Daigo?

NUMBER FIVE: Hmm... Okay. Daigo it is.

{cue credits}