Records Of Bell/Records/16

Summary

THE PURGE SPECIAL!!!!

Cast: Narrator, Man on TV, Tracy, Im a bell, Doctor Octopus, Mature Bling, Sarah, Don Skull, Misc. HRFWiki users, Chaos, Super Sam

Places: BSoW, Bling's Living Room, FCUSA

Episode Information: 304-Never Postpone Purges Lest There Be A Riot

Insult: inactive HRFWiki users who come back to find a purged wiki

Credit Joke: Some Band You Haven't Heard Of

Transcript

{open to Black Screen of Warnings}

NARRATOR: Warning. This cold open may be inappropriate for the kiddies.

{cut to Bling's living room. Everyone is watching tv}

MAN ON TV: I'm finally booted up! ...Hey, is that a URL? I should look at it.

TRACY: THIS IS A STUPID COMMERCIAL! Typing in random URLs can get you viruses!

IM A BELL: Tapping random asses can get you viruses, too.

{a clock moves ten minutes forward}

IM A BELL: What the hell?

{the clock moves another ten minutes forward}

TRACY: Every time there's an innuendo and/or curse word spoken, the show gets aired a little later.

IM A BELL: That's... Umm...

{pause five seconds. Doc Ock flies in}

DOC OCK: DOCTOR OCTOGONAPUS B-

IM A BELL: BLAAAAAAAAAH!!!! {fires lazer at Doc Ock's face}

{cue opening theme. cut back to Bling's living room}

TRACY: Hmm...

MATURE BLING: Uhh...

SARAH: Fff...

DON SKULL: Yea-

IM A BELL: OMG LOOK AT THE TIME! {points to a previously unseen countdown on the wall. it looks like the one on the HRFWiki before the purge. This clock shows there's an hour left}

TRACY: HOLY CRAPS THE PURGE IS IN AN HOUR!!!!

IM A BELL: We should go see it!

MATURE BLING: I must see my childhood get destroyed!

DON SKULL: I LIKE YELLING!

SARAH: Let's go already!

{cut to FCUSA. There are many, many HRFWiki users running around panicking. In the center of the city stands a large clocktower with the countdown on it. There are thirty-two minutes left on it. Bell and co walk in}

IM A BELL: Wow. I can barely remember life before Zoo's shadow forced me here. {sees Chaos} Hey, Chaos! You here to see the purge, too?

CHAOS: Nah. I've been hired by the mayors of FCUSA {OOC: the sysops} to bring the souls of the residents to purgatory until FCUSA has been rebuilt.

IM A BELL: Neat. Say, how exactly ARE they purging FCUSA, anyway?

CHAOS: Look over there.

{camera swings around to reveal many subspace bombs being unloaded from a rather large helicopter}

IM A BELL: Subspace bombs. I shoulda guessed.

SARAH: But, so many bombs going off at once would mean FCUSA would never-

CHAOS: EXACTLY! After all the bombs go off, the mayors will just get a Mary Sue to traverse subspace, defeat Tabuu, and the bombs will disappear, leaving the mayors with a rather shiny piece of air to rebuild FCUSA from.

IM A BELL: Where's the Glorious Gravy Boat?

CHAOS: We already set off a bomb in an uninhabited section of FCUSA and navigated the GGB into it. Once Tabuu is defeated, it'll simply reappear, sitting in the shining crater that was once FCUSA.

IM A BELL:' Huh. Hey, look! They're activating the bombs!

{cut to the bombs. Many ROB Sentries wheel in and activate the bombs. If you don't know how they activate subspace bombs, watch this video. If you had to watch it, you are uncool. the subspace bombs show there are 30 minutes left}

IM A BELL: Half an hour. Well, we better make the most of it.

MATURE BLING: Imma go find the hospital where I was infused with Bell's DNA and go light it on fire. {walks off}

TRACY: Ooh! Let me help! {runs after MB}

DON SKULL:{transforms into robot form} I'm gonna go slaughter a bunch of bad Homestar dresser characters. {runs off}

CHAOS: I really oughta get started on transferring those users. {warps off}

IM A BELL: Well, it's just you and me.

SARAH: So, um...

IM A BELL: Wanna go do it in some abandoned office building?

SARAH: Sure, why not?

{the subspace bombs and the clocktower moves ten minutes forward}

IM A BELL: Oops. Ah, well. {grabs Sarah, warps off}

{cut to a little bit later. there is one minute left until the purge. Bell and co warp in. Bell and Sarah's clothing are dirty and wrinkled. Don Skull is covered in blood. MB and Tracy are slightly charred}

IM A BELL: Well, there's one minute left.

SUPER SAM:{walks up} Hey, there, meaningless third generation mary sue.

IM A BELL: Hi, Supes. You goin' down with the ship?

SUPER SAM: No, I WAS going to misuse my sysop powers to protect me, but that's preposterous. Now I'm counting on you to use your godmodding to save me.

IM A BELL: Right. {creates a barrier around him, Super Sam, MB, DS, Tracy, and Sarah} five seconds left.

TRACY: Five...

SARAH: Four...

MATURE BLING: Three...

DON SKULL: Two...

EVERYONE: One...

SUPER SAM: Hold on to your butts!

{everyone hugs eachother and close their eyes tight. cut to above FCUSA. all the bombs go off. fade to black. cue credits}