Nothing's Gonna Change My Hat/ep2

Transcript

{An opening of the episode shows a split screen of the previous events. Dramatic music is playing. Bullets fly over Ekul and Strong Sader from a fully automatic. The ambulence skids to a stop at the hospital, and the burned and bruised Vanhock is dragged in, Kyves following close behind. The tribe from the previous intro are seen. Cut to the mafia headquarters (at an unspecified location), where Bald Tommy is watching the guys firing at the chinese restaurant. He nods, and a man onscreen sets the building on fire. Cut to Mr. Matthews, who is frantic and looking through receipts. His eyes are bloodshot. He is looking at pictures, and his desperate. In another section, a large adorned warrior is overseeing the building of a raft. The chief appears to be directing each man to build it. Darlon and Nived walk through the door talking inaudibly. Finally, cut to Chwoka, he is trying on the hat, doing the occasional pose in the mirror.}

CHWOKA: This hat totally clashes with my clothes. I'm going to need a whole new outfit!

UNKNOWN VOICE: Ahem.

{The camera pans to show the mysterious character, but cuts out just before reaching him. Cut to a black and white, cleched flashback in front of a store. Strong Sader, then with a fully buttoned shirt and tie, runs out of the store frantically, pan up to show the words "Matthews' Fine Headware" above the door. Strong Sader dashes into the middle of the street, and pulls himself together, though he is still breathing heavily. Just at that moment, he realises he is in the middle of the road. He turns, just in time to see a bus hit him. Just as the bus hits the camera, it cuts to Strong Sader and Ekul in the present. They barge into Kitchen area, avoiding the flames and gunfire. Ekul grabs a few kitchen knives and pots, pans, etc.}

EKUL: Strong Sader, we're outnumbered! And who is that mysterious guy following me?

STRONG SADER: I don't know, I didn't see his face.

{A stray bullet shears through the door and breezes past Ekul's head. Ekul jumps onto the counter}

EKUL: They must be aiming low to account for my size, since they almost hit me... Aha!

{Ekul jumps next to the door and melts a fork into it}

EKUL: We need a plan, we're boxed in back here... There's no way out except the way in, and the sewer.

{Strong Sader lefts up a drainage grate under the sink.}

STRONG SADER: Well, here goes... {Leaps in. A sludgy splash is heard} AH! IT BURNS!

EKUL: Ah what the...

{Ekul grabs a gigantic stirring rod and sticks it down into the sewer. The door starts to buckle}

EKUL: GRAB ON!

{Strong Sader is hoisted out. His clothes are burned, but he is mysteriously unharmed.}

STRONG SADER: The Mafia's put Sulphuric Asid down there! We're screwed!

{The doors hinges are breaking off}

EKUL: We're going to have to hide or attack! Or ambush, which is a little of both. What say you?

{Strong Sader removes a pipe from the wall and brandishes it ready for attack.}

STRONG SADER: Lets do it!

{A few mafia men burst in through the back door, and hold them at gun point.}

STRONG SADER: Oh yeah.

{Ekul swings the pipe at the overhead light and they spark. All blackout for a second}

EKUL: GET OUT OF THE WAY!

{The Mafia fires randomly, Ekul jumps out of the corner}

MAFIA GOON #1: Got one!

STRONG SADER: Let go of me!

{Cut to outside. The mafia member bundles up Strong Sader, and tosses him into a car.}

EKUL: No!

{Ekul smashes one of the guys with a wok and runs outside. The car starts to take off, and Ekul attaches his cane to the spoiler on the back}

EKUL: You're not getting away that easy!

{Ekul opens the trunk, and stows away. Cut to the inside of the car.}

STRONG SADER: {Uneasy silence} Bald Tommy's going to kill me, isn't he?

{The others smile ominously.}

GOON: We gonna send ya to sleep with da fishies. Dat's what ya get for bein' wit' dat Ekul punk. We'll take care of him next!

{The car pulls up to a bridge, and the goons get out}

GOON 2: So long!

{Ekul bursts out, pulls out his guns and points them at the goons}

EKUL: Not so fast!

GOON: Do it!

{The goons push Strong Sader over the bridge and he falls into the rapids.}

STRONG SADER: You suuuuuu... {trails off}

{Ekul fires at the goons. As the disc comes out, Ekul's powers catch it aflame. One hits, but the other one misses. The other goon fires back and Ekul jumps to the side and the firefight goes on. Ekul hides behind the limo, but it drives away. The goon jumps in. Ekul looks down}

EKUL: Oh, shoot! Sader... Goons... Sader... Goons... I must find Bald Tommy. If he's survived the fall, I hope he can make it back!

{Ekul ices the ground and slides after the limo. The camera suddenly stops to a halt, no longer following the limo. Chwoka walks by in his new outfit (a tan coat, white undershirt, and brown slacks) wearing the hat. When he gets to the middle of the screen, he turns and looks in the direction the limo was going}

CHWOKA: Man, sometimes this town can get a bit TOO epic for my blood.

{Chwoka continues walking. The mysterious man walks over and starts walking with Chwoka.}

MYSTERIOUS MAN: You must throw away the hat! You've got less chance of living if you don't!

CHWOKA: What!? No! You just want my hat! Well, you can't have it - it's my hat! MY HAT!

{Chwoka takes off at running speed off-screen.}

MYSTERIOUS MAN: {sighs} The fool.

{The man takes off his cloak to reveal he is an inspector in a trenchcoat, fedora and sunglasses.}

INSPECTOR Z: Oh well, I should probably try and stop them Mafia goons before they get to him. I don't want any lives wasted, and I want them behind bars.

{Inspector Z walks off. JCM walks in.}

JCM: I have to do something. This is where I get my best hats. Once I find out who caused this, I will teach him a lesson he'll never forget!

{Darlon walks in from stage left, and carefully examines the kid. He snaps a photograph with a camera from his back pants pocket.}

DARLON: Best hats? Look at that thing! It's god-ugly! By the way, Junior, it's just closed for this one day. Or can you not go a single day without getting a new hat, you little brat.

JCM: Brat?!

{JCM kicks Darlon in the shin, and walks away. Before JCM can get off the shot, though, Darlion yanks his shirt collar.}

DARLON: Eye for an eye.

{Darlon knees JCM in the gut and casually strolls away, off-screen. Cut to the hospital, where Kyves is wheeling out Vanhock, in a wheelchair with a blanket over his legs.}

KYVES: ...I'm glad we settled out of court. One free ride on my plane!

VANHOCK: ...and I get to crush a pedestrian and run away giggling.

KYVES: Right. Well, I should find Ekul... I wonder what's going on with him

{Suddenly Kyves is nearly run over by the limo Ekul is chasing.}

EKUL: Kyves! Follow me!

KYVES: Oh crap! Sorry Vanhock!

{Kyves pulls himself towards the limo with his magnetic powers. He kicks the window, but it's bulletproof and he slightly bounces off. The window opens. Kyves kicks the gun out of the goon's hand and uses the guy's watch on his hand to force him to poke his partner in the eyes}

GOON DRIVER: ARGH! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!

{The limo turns and flips. Kyves falls off and lands hard on the ground. He is unconscious. Ekul catches up. The limo skids on its roof and crashes into the building.}

EKUL: Alright! Time to question-

{The building explodes because it was full of ammunition, taking the car with it.}

EKUL: CURSE YOU, EKUL THE WRITER, FOR BEING SO OVERDRAMATIC IN ACTION SCENES!

{Ekul rolls uphill until he stops in the middle of the street next to Chwoka.}

CHWOKA: Oh, hey Ekul. How's it going?

EKUL: Well, other than the fact that I just was in a firefight, pretty good. That's... a nice hat you have...

CHWOKA: You like it? I got it for half its original price.

{OOC: Hey Znex, when you say "Cuffs" are you referring to the cuffs of time? If so, no time traveling is allowed by the characters. That means no PRIOR time traveling before the show as well. I already said that characters from other timelines could be considered by me if you asked.}

{A manhole behind Chwoka begins to heave upward. It opens to reveal Strong Sader. He is muddy and wet.}

STRONG SADER: Good thing I was washed into the sewers. Had someone bothered to write that scene, it would have been pretty dramatic. {Looks up} Oh hey Ekul. Hey, Chwo- {Gasps upon noticing the hat, and is transfixed to it by terror.}

{OOC: Oh, fine. I'll just change the entire character and waste most of my time doing that. - Znex}

{OOC: There. Happy now? - Znex}

{OOC: Yes.}

EKUL: Yes Chwoka, that's a good deal... Say, you wouldn't mind letting me look at it real quick... right?

{A badly injured Goon crawls out of the car holding a deagle. He takes aim at Chwoka.}

GOON DRIVER: {Under his breath} Die!

{A fast-moving bullet flies out of nowhere, and disarms the goon.}

VOICE: Not so far, you Mafia scum!

{Inspector Z walks over holding a gun. The disarming bullet ricochets and hits Strong Sader in the shoulder.}

STRONG SADER: {Deadpan} Ow.

INSPECTOR Z: Ow, you're unlucky. {gives Strong Sader a healing plaster}

{Cut to Matthews' shop. He is crouched on the floor, sifting through a file full of rescepts. His eyes are bloodshot, his hands are trembling and he is whispering inaudably. The door is heared opening.}

MR. MATTHEWS: WE'RE CLOSED!

MYSTERY CHARACTER: {Accusingly} Really?

{Matthews frantically searches through the receipts, until he stays transfixed on one. His eyes widen.}

MR. MATTHEWS: Chwoka...

MYSTERY CHARACTER: Ahem!

{Matthews looks up, to see a figure that terrifies him even more.}

MYSTERY MAN: That's right. You remember me? And you remember this?

{The mystery pulls out a strangely shaped knife and points it at Mr. Matthews.}

MR. MATTHEWS: I thought you were dead! Or fired!

MYSTERY MAN: Let's just say my organization is a little more powerful than you thought. I want what I gave to you back.

MR. MATTHEWS: Look, Geltoss, the mafia-

GELTOSS: Forget the mafia. Either they can protect you, or we can. I wouldn't trust them if I were you...

MR. MATTHEWS: They're bigger than-

GELTOSS: Well then, make your choice. I'll be waiting. If you need me call the distributor.

{Geltoss leaves}

MR. MATTHEWS: I have never been more afraid of a person who works for a hat distributing company...

{JCM walks in very slowly. He looks up and sees Mr. Matthew.}

JCM: {quieter than usual} Mr. Matt, why did you close the store today? And why are you on the ground?

MR. MATTHEWS: Oh, uh... I have to be honest, I'm at a dangerous crossroads. I can either find a hat and give it to the mafia, or find that hat and give it to a corporation. Either way, the other side wants me dead.

{Cut to the Mafia headquarters, based in a legitimate, three floored Butcher's shop named "Savastano & Co." Cut to the Attic, which acts as Bald Tommy's 'office,' an extravigently decorated room with leather furniture and heavily polished wooden desks. A Mafia Goon walks in.}

GOON #3: Mr. Savastano, sir. Johnny the Slick's bin caught by some schmucks. He was in a car accident, and they ambushed 'im. Legs was killed in the accident.

BALD TOMMY: This mildly concerns me... They were useful. Marsupial, keep up da reports.

MARSUPIAL: Thanks boss. {Bows, then leaves.}

BALD TOMMY: Cowslip. {Snaps his fingers} How's the police catchin'?

COWSLIP: Those guys are nowhere near catching us, and with a little more work, dey's gonna be under our control. Even if dey did get to us, we outnumber 'em by too much.

BALD TOMMY: Good. Get snipes in here.

{The sniper from the last episode is dragged in and thrown at Tommy's feet.}

BALD TOMMY: Snipes, you were like a son to me, {Short pause} and then you go, and screw up a simple shootin'! I'm not sure what I should do. {Gestures ominously to Bicepts.} But my only option is clear.

SNIPES: No! Not that!

{Cut to the hallway right as Bald Tommy gestures to Bicepts to do something. What happens is not seen. Cut to outside the hat store. JCM walks out the door.}

JCM: Bye, Mr. Matthews!

MR. MATTHEWS: See you soon.

{JCM sits down and thinks for a while. He then gets up and leaves. Cut to Savastana and Co's outside. Darlon and Nived stand outside.}

DARLON: I'm on a bit of a reviewing spree, aren't I? I suppose I am. Well, irregardless, I'm going to criticize the meat in this butcher.

NIVED: I'm surprised at you, Darlon. Irregardless is not the right word there. It is a nonstandard word.

DARLON: Oh, looks like I made a slip-up. Thanks for the catch, Nived.

{Cut to the inside of Savastana's. Darlon walks up to the counter and rings a bell.}

"WAITER": In a moment!

{A bit of furniture moving is heard, and footsteps.}

"WAITER": Now you may enter. You will be seated.

{Nived and Darlon enter and are seated at a table near the secret staircase.}

DARLON: Well, I will say that this place has fine customer service. Especially FOR A BUTCHER

WAITER: {Takes off mask} Oh. Um... Right, {mutters, Nived and Darlon can't hear} I knew I shouldn't have transferred from the houston mafia {Normal voice} I'm new and used to being a restaraunt, and it's good PR. What would you like?

DARLON: Your finest meat.

BUTCHER: Okay. That is a matter of debate. Steak? Ham? Special? Menu?

{Butcher hands them a menu of their gourmet meat}

{Inspector Z walks in, but he's dressed casually.}

INSPECTOR Z: Hallo, butcher! Do you have a leg of pork here?

{Darlon looks at his menu.}

DARLON: So far, I have to give this place a 5 star...but that might change with the food. Your finest ham, please!

WAITER: Ah excellent.

{The waiter goes to the counter and removes a ham from the display cabinet and places it in a cooking chamber. Then he returns}

WAITER: And you?

NIVED: I'll take some veal.

WAITER: All right.

{The waiter starts cooking some, then walks to Inspector Z}

WAITER: I'm sorry, you have to leave, I'm trying to impress the critics.

{The waiter glares at him. Cut to Chwoka's house. Chwoka, Ekul and Strong Sader have tied Johnny to a chair. Kyves is resting in the corner.}

EKUL: So... You thought you could kill Strong Sader and run. But we got you instead. Anything you want to tell us about the wherabouts of Bald Tommy?

JOHNNY: I don't know nothin'.

EKUL: Don't you lie to me!

{Ekul raises his body temperature by 5 degrees}

JOHNNY: HOT HOT! I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS! I'M NOT ALLOWED IN THE HQ!

STRONG SADER: I don't think we'll get more out of him, but he IS a liability. What should we do with him?

EKUL: We should try to find out the names of his friends. Then we bug him and find out what they do to people who disobey and squeal. Agreed?

STRONG SADER: Agreed. I'll start extratin'. {Preduces a pare of salad tongs}

JOHNNY: NO!

{Ekul puts a bucket of water on his feet}

EKUL: HEY KYVES!

{Kyves stands up and walks over}

EKUL: We need him to tell us who's allowed into Bald Tommy's hide-

{Abruptly, Kyves takes out a sword and electrocutes Johnny}

JOHNNY: YLYLYLYAAAAAAAAAAH!

EKUL: Augh! No! We're trying to torture him, not kill him!

KYVES: He'll live.

JOHNNY: OKAY OKAY! THE ONLY PEOPLE I KNOW ARE RIBS, GRIZZLY, MAR-

{Johnny is shot through the window. Out the window, a manhole closes}

STRONG SADER: Ugghh... I'm going after that guy. Kyves, revive him with your defibulator sword... the head defibulator... {Leaps out the window and jumps down the manhole}

KYVES: He's dead though. I can't save him. A bullet wound to the back of he neck. We need to do this in the basement next time.

{Cut to the sewers, there is four paths. The perp is nowhere to be seen. It is pitch darkness.}

STRONG SADER: I wish I'd brought a torch.

{Several torches, held by mafia surrounding Strong Sader light. He's trapped.}

STRONG SADER: {Sigh} Again?

{OOC: I need to go now. So I won't be able to write for the next few hours.}

EKUL: I hope Strong Sader is alright... I wish I knew if he wanted backup.

{Cut to JCM's house. He is on the couch looking through the phone book.}

JCM: Mafia, mafia. Darn! I can't find it! OK, alternate idea. Mom! Can I go out?!

JCM'S MOTHER: Sure. Be back by dinner.

JCM: Thanks! {picks up a bag, leaves}

{Cut to the butcher. Darlon is waiting for his meal}

DARLON: They're sure taking their time.

{Cut to where Strong Sader is. The "Waiter" cocks his shotgun. Cut to the Mafian HQ, where there's a slightly Italian looking man walking to the entrance.}

DARON "BONES" RECONSTINIO: {quietly} I hope this works, like it did with those guys with Al Capone.

{Bones walks to the door and knocks two times on the door. Another Butcher comes out}

BUTCHER: Hey, who's you? You look sorta familliar...

{Cut to where Nived and Darlon are.}

NIVED: Hmph, this place is musky. I must get a little fresh air.

{Nived gets up. He fiddles with his gravity powers. Suddenly, the trapdoor comes down slowly.}

NIVED: Hm?

{Nived grasps his gun under his sleeve, out of sight, and beckons Darlon. He slowly walks through to a place labeled "Merchandize". There are white powdery substance}

NIVED: Is this... the mafia? Oho, this is too good.

DARLON: The mafia...in Oregon...selling cocaine. Makes perfect sense. Now, let's not publish this, lest we DIE

NIVED: This does not sound like a job for me. My friends maybe. Ekul with his realism, and Kyves with his justice will eat this up.

VOICE: HEY!

{A gun is heard cocking.}

VOICE: Put your-

{Nived reverses the gravitational polarity of the room. That is to say, gravity flips to the ceiling. The man is off-guard and Nived spins around and shoots him through the chest.}

NIVED: We must leave. And cover the evidence.

{Nived picks him up gravitationally}

DARLON: WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH woah. Slow down. Wha-How? Huh?

NIVED: These are drugs. This is the Oregon Mafia, we must leave and hide the body before they catch us and move their hideout.

{Darlon holds his hands up, but not all the way up}

DARLON: Nonononono...

{Darlon points at the floating guy}

DARLON: that.

{Nived creates a purplish orb. Gravity is slightly pulled towards it}

NIVED: I can affect gravity to some extent. As such, I can exercise while laying down. It's quite a time saver.

DARLON:

{Nived exits down the trapdoor with the body, and pushes it under the table.}

DARLON:

NIVED: Get down here. Our food is nearly done.

{Cut back to the Mafian HQ.}

BONES: Who, me? Nah, I just have a common face. This the Mafia HQ?

{OOC: Bones isn't Inspector Z, he's just some other guy from the police force. - Znex}

{Cut to the Butcher's second floor*. Strong Sader is being threatened by the Waiter.}

{*Footnote: The Butchers has five sections: The first floor (Legitimate Butcher's), The basement (Legitimate Butcher's Refrigerator), The second floor (Mafia operations base, planning room and armoury), The third floor (Goon housing) and the Attic (Bald Tommy's 'office')}

WAITER: Okay, I'll make this short. What did you tell that bird about the hat?

STRONG SADER: Nothing.

WAITER: Oh really? Then how does he know it's in Oregon? Did... did he get help from... THEM?

STRONG SADER: Them?

WAITER: The Corporation... Hat distributor. There's... a person who is very dangerous. And he wants it too.

STRONG SADER: So what insidious plans have you got for me?

WAITER: We expect Tommy will be here soon... Then he will "question" you!

{A chilling laugh from all the henchmen. Cut to downstairs. Darlon and Nived can clearly hear the laughter.}

NIVED: What? What is this...? Something must be going on upstairs...

{A thump, followed by sounds of violence are heard.}

STRONG SADER: AGHHHH! MY LEG ISN'T MEANT TO DO THAT!

{Music starts up. Geltoss is in a strange room, and the camera sees only him.}

GELTOSS: The hat... you're telling me it was sold...?

{Geltoss grabs the shoulders of the camera(man?)}

GELTOSS: Tell me you have the information. You have it, right?

YOU?: Look, I've told you all I know!

GELTOSS: Tch tch. That is unacceptable.

{Suddenly, Geltosses pupils dialate. Suddenly, the camera begins shaking, then everything goes staticy. End with another split-screen. Strong Sader is being interrogated, Ekul and Kyves are searching the body of Johnny, Darlon and Nived are waiting, Chwoka is standing on a sidewalk, (any others you want to add, add here) and JCM is outside his house.}