Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Space-Aged Stupidity/eps/11

Trranscript

{Open: The cockpit of the ship. Chaos is standing in the middle of a huge pile of mail.}

CHAOS: Sephiroth! Get the hell in here!

{B-621 enters with Sephiroth}

B-621: Wasn't Penny Lane great, captain?

{Chaos walks up to B-621, picks him up, and throws him across the room.}

CHAOS: Seph, you've got some explaining to do.

SEPHIROTH: ...Ugh, I always have to explain everything to you! It's always "SEPH, WHY ARE THERE TOENAIL CLIPPINGS ON MY CHAIR?", "SEPH GODDAMN IT, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT THE LAB IS NOT A KITCHEN?", "SEPH, WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE WIBBLES DOING IN MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER?". I swear, you need to relax.. You're so uptight!

CHAOS: ...I AM NOT UPTIGHT. ...Anyway, what the hell is this?! {points to the huge pile of mail}

SEPHIROTH: I believe it's a big pile of mail.

{UT, THB, and Victor walk in.}

UNHOLY TRACY: Thanks for not letting us back onto the ship yesterday, you assholes.

CHAOS: Well, I would've if there was room. The ship is full of mail from all of the same people-these Beat-Em-Ups, and they're all addressed to SEPHIROTH!

B-621: {Gets up} Not all of them. I think that large pile on the right is mail from them to me too.

CHAOS: {Sarcastically} Oh, and that makes things oh-so-much better.

SEPHIROTH: Well, if you really want to know.. It's their responses.. Their responses to our fanmail. They're so awesome, answering fanmail like that.. {Sighs} fanmail

CHAOS: You wish... Me, having no regard for your privacy, and having nothing else to do either, decided to open up about half of them. Most of them were bills! Who would send someone else their bills! ...Except for me, of course.. Haven't payed mine since... ever.

{K-Bot pokes his head out of the pile, holding a letter labeled "URGENT".}

K-BOT HR'D: Guys, I was looking through some of these letters and I found this one. It says something about the ship being taken away for credit card overuse or something. Is this bad?

{Chaos freezes for a few seconds in the position he's in, gradually turning redder and redder. Sephiroth notices and ducks into the letter pile}

SEPHIROTH: Crap. Guys, I advise you to do the same.. Or run. Either one is good.

B-621: {Looks at Chaos, then hides behind his letter pile} NO ROBOTS HERE EITHER

K-BOT HR'D: {hides with B-621} Yup, no robots.

CHAOS: {Chaos suddenly unfreezes, and lets loose a creepy smile. He pulls K-Bot out of the pile and gives him the letter.} READ IT.

K-BOT HR'D: "Dear Captain and Mrs. Sephiroth-{under his breath} wow, what a lie-We have sent this to inform you that you have run up $4,123,976 in credit card purchases. We have enclosed a statement of all of the objects purchased in the last month. We must also inform you that if you make one more purchase with your credit card, it will be rendered invalid and your ship will be re-possessed! Thank you and have a nice day, The Blue Meanie Retailler Company." ...That's all sir.

{Chaos' smile cracks up, and his face turns back to its shade of red. He suddenly turns around to the pile of letters Sephiroth is hiding in. When fires appear in his eyes, the pile of letters turn into ash, and Sephiroth is lying on the floor with a new change of outfit.}

CHAOS: Sephiroth...I...Am...GOING...TO KILL YOU!

SEPHIROTH: Come now, Chaos.. There might be some solution to this problem.. Like a talk, or a friendly game.. Or a.. PEOPLE IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIVES, I SUGGEST YOU RUN LIKE YOU'VE NEVER {BEEP}ING RAN BEFORE!!! {Sephiroth picks up the two bots and runs off with them. Cut to the other end of the ship. Sephiroth stops and puts the bots down, huffing.} I.. I think we lost him.. Thank god..

B-621: Soo.... I take it now's not the best time to tell him I ordered life-sized Beat-em-up action figurines...

{Chaos suddenly appears in front of them, entering from a corridor of pure darkness.}

CHAOS: WHAT KIND OF AUTHORITY DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE JUST RUNNING AROUND CHARGING THAT MUCH MONEY ON A CREDIT CARD AND THE SAME ONE YOU PAID FOR THE SHIP WITH!! JUST WAIT, ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I WILL RIP THE ORGANS FROM YOUR BODY, ONE BY ONE, TO USE AS ORNAMENTS ON MY MANTLEPIECE!!!

K-BOT HR'D: As if you weren't angry already...

CHAOS: SHUT UP YOU LEMON-DROP RUST BUCKET! YOU AREN'T HELPING ANYMORE!

SEPHIROTH: I learned this trick from a good friend of mine. Let's hope it works.. And if it doesn't, God rest our sorry souls. {Turns around and heads towards Chaos. Sephiroth pokes a certain area near Chaos's neck, temporarily knocking him out.} There, now we can get the problem out of our hair without a half-crazed doctor shouting in our ears.

{Clockswipe, and Sephiroth, Chaos, K-Bot, and B-621 are now in the meeting room, looking over paperwork. Chaos is now awake again, but tied to the chair and struggling.}

CHAOS: Why did you have to tie me up! I want to get to the bottom of this, too!

SEPHIROTH: Because, if we untie you, you would surely tear my guts out! Silly!

CHAOS: Of course I won't! Now, would I do a thing like that?

SEPHIROTH: YES.

CHAOS: True.. But seriously, untie me so I can help you guys!

SEPHIROTH: F-F-ffine. {Unties Chaos, and then promptly hides behind K-Bot.}

{Sirens blare, as the intercom turns on.}

SHIP: {Speaking in a cockney accent} Blimey! There are visitors onboard ov da ship, I repeat, tony blair are visitors onboard da ship! Nuff said, yeah?

SEPHIROTH: ...I'm never gonna get tired of the cockney voicepack for the intercom!

CHAOS: {Sighs} Before I go get the door...

{Chaos Punches Sephiroth in the kidney area.}

CHAOS: That was for tying me up! And...

{Sephiroth pukes up the credit card statement.}

CHAOS: For that. Now, I'll be right back. {Walks to door.}

{The door busts open, and a huge bulky creature bursts through and throws Chaos across the room. Beside him are smaller versions of the same man. They are all blue and fuzzy.}

????: Which one of ya's is called... {Looks at card.} Seppyrof?

SEPHIROTH: Me.. How did you get into this ship?

????: We came in through the bathroom window.

CHAOS: {Gets up and readjusts himself} Oh, that's real practical.

K-BOT HR'D: Why do we even have a window in the bathroom?

????: ...Beats me. Anyway, we are now here to seize your property, right from the clothes on your bodies, to the very ship itself.

SEPHIROTH: What? You can't do that!

????: Sure we can. You should've thought of us before you bought all that phony murchandise from us in the first place. We've never seen a bigger pair of suckers than you pair of walruses!

SEPHIROTH: Hmm.. I should have known better.. Well, can we at least get names? I may be a lot of things.. BUT PROFESSIONAL IS ONE OF THEM!

????: Yeah, sure. My name is Mr. K. I'm the leader of this gang. The big one's Henderson, and my cohort here is Pablo.

K-BOT HR'D: Any relation to Mr. T?

CHAOS: Don't be stupid. They're named after a band that plays Classical music.

PABLO: {falsetto voice} Do you mean Classic Rock?

CHAOS: No. Not at all.

MR. KITE: Guys.. Shut up. Anyway, we're allowing you 25 hours to grab all your personal belongings, back up your files, make a distress call, and evacuate the ship. See, we're nice guys. We don't want to spoil the party. It's just business, you know?

SEPHIROTH: Sure it is.

K-BOT HR'D: I'll go make some copies of the main computer's files and store them on me... very far away. {runs off}

SEPHIROTH: So.. We're bankrupt, shipless, and we have no where to go. Well, on brighter news, I did manage to get us all tickets to the.... BEAT-EM-UPS! {Holds up a huge wad of tickets.}

CHAOS: WHAT THE HELL SEPH. WHAT THE HELL.

SEPHIROTH: Yeah! The Beat-Em-Ups! Awesome, eh?

{K-Bot comes on over the intercom.}

K-BOT HR'D: Please don't tell me that you used the same credit card that's getting our ship repossesed to buy them...

SEPHIROTH: Nope. All you need is cash.

K-BOT HR'D: Thank god. Also, I made 10 backups of the ship's data and I'm in the process of storing it on my internal hard drive.

SEPHIROTH: Good. Y'know, we've hit some hard times, but we've pulled through! We're bros, we're banditos, we are the boys from da' X! Da' posse, the-...

CHAOS: Shut up Sephiroth.

SEPHIROTH: The gang, the-...

CHAOS: SHUT UP SEPHIROTH.

SEPHIROTH: The group, the-...

CHAOS: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHUT UP SEPHIROTH OR SO HELP ME I WILL RIP OUT YOUR SPINE AND USE IT AS A TOOTHPICK!!!!

SEPHIROTH: Meep...

{UT, THB, and Victor walk back onscreen}

UNHOLY TRACY: You just HAD to think about that, didn't you?!

THB: Sorry!

SEPHIROTH: Hmm?

{Homestar tiger walks onscreen, holding a bottle and sticking tweezers in it.}

SEPHIROTH: Oh.. Hey guys.. So, did you hear the news?

UNHOLY TRACY: Wait, what news?

SEPHIROTH: ......Yeah.. Anyway, due to a leeeeetle snag in finances, this ship's being taken over.

{Long moment of silence}

B-621: ...Who cares, we're seeing The Beat-em-ups! WHOOOOOO!!!

{Sephiroth and B-621 both high five, and everyone gives them an angry stare.}

B-621: ...Oh, come on! ITS THE BEAT-EM-UPS!

THB: ...Who?

UNHOLY TRACY: I think there some band from the sixties.

THB: Which sixties?

UNHOLY TRACY: Nineteen.

SEPHIROTH: Well anyway, down to business. I still have to make a distress call to any nearby ships. {Walks over to the radio and turns it on.} Help, we need somebody. Not just anybody. Somebody who can pick us up.

VICTOR: Oh, hey, I think I know someone. {pulls out a cellphone, dials a number} Number Nine? Number Nine? Number Nine? Titanian Starship Number Nine? Yeah, it's me Victor. Can I speak to the captain, please? Thanks. ... Ah, hey, Jude! Look, um, the ship I'm on is being repossessed, and I was wondering if there's room on the ship for us to fit. ...No? Okay. {hangs up} Nevermind.

{Homestar Tiger walks in front of everyone, adjusting the bottle.}}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Done! {Holds up bottle} Check it out! It's a yellow submarine in a bottle!

UNHOLY TRACY: Ooh, neat. And you didn't need any help from your friends? ...Oh wait, you don't have any friends.

HOMESTAR TIGER: Oh, be quiet. So.. What's all the commotion about?

SEPHIROTH: Yeah.. Due to a few problems which are definitely not mine nor B-621's fault, we've lost the ship.

HOMESTAR TIGER: That means I'll need to move all my stuff again?

SEPHIROTH: Yep.

HOMESTAR TIGER: Damn it. I just finished moving the rest of my stuff.

{Cut to a montage of everyone packing their stuff away, all of them looking annoyed. Sephiroth is packing the CD's in his suitcase, along with his clothes, Victor, Tracy, and UHB are arguing over what to put in their suitcase, Chaos is using some sort of device that shrinks items and compacts them into tiny capsules. He puts the capsules into his pocket and then he sets his suitcase on fire. Cut to one of the emergency escape pods. Mr. Kite and his gang are shoving the gang inside, one by one.}

MR. KITE: Looks like we'll be taking your ship tonight after all. Ooh, too bad.. Gwahahahahaha!!

{The Blue Meanies all burst into laughter at they close the pods doors.}

MR. KITE: Heh, we'd love to stick around, but we've got some work to do! ...Good luck.. From me to you! Ha!

{Cut to the inside of the pod. It has a round circle of seats, and a flatscreen TV on the wall. Connected to the TV is a Sega Genesis.}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Everything... Everything I owned and had.. Everything I loved.. My room.. It's all gone.. IT'S ALL GONE!! {Sobs} Wait, is that my piggy bank! SQUEE! Seph, hand it over!

SEPHIROTH: Sure.. {Hands the piggy bank over.} I can't help but think this is all my fault.

CHAOS: It is all your fault.

SEPHIROTH: I'm the one who started this, I should feel guilty too.

CHAOS: Damn right.

{Cut to the outside of space. A yellow spaceship is floating through space. It's yellow, and resembles a submarine. Cut inside. Everything is all funky, and 4 men are sitting on a shag carpet, holding instruments.}

STARKEY: Hey Paulus, how are you?

PAULUS: I'm fine Rick. You?

STARKEY: Doin' fine.

GEORGIUS: It's good to look out for your friends, you know?

STARKEY AND PAULUS: Yeah..

JOHNNY: So, what do you think would be a good name for our new album?

GEORGIUS: .....Titanium Soul?

PAULUS: ....Abbey Galaxy?

STARKEY: Ooh. I like that one.

{The ships radar goes off.}

PAULUS: Huh? What's that?

STARKEY: I'll go check.

{Starkey gets up and looks through the window. He sees the crew of the LeviathanX in the pod, floating.}

STARKEY: Hey, we got ourselves a bunch of visitors!

JOHNNY: Let em' in then. It would be rude not to.

{Cut back to the pod.}

SEPHIROTH: Wait, is that.. THE SPACEMARINE?

CHAOS: Oh joy.

{The Pod attaches to the doors of the Spacemarine, and the doors open. Johnny enters the pod.}

JOHNNY: Hey, we couldn't help but notice that you were stranded. Being the guys that we are, we never turn down the chance to help another.

SEPHIROTH: ...J..J..J..John..

JOHNNY: Heh. The kid's starstruck.. Come on in then.

{The gang all stand up and walk inside of the Spacemarine, one by one.}

UNHOLY TRACY: Looks nice.

VICTOR: Say, dad, where's the Tardis?

THB: Heh. Right here. {pulls out a small remote control, and presses a button on it}

{the sound of a TARDIS appearing is heard. UT's TARDIS materializes within the Spacemarine}

SEPHIROTH: ...Punch me.

CHAOS: Gladly. {Punches Seph in the nuts.} Hey, you asked for it.

PAULUS: Ouch.. You alright.

SEPHIROTH: PAULUS TALKED TO ME! EEEEEEEEEEEE!!! YOU'RE MY FAVORITE ONE!

PAULUS: ...Wow, didn't that hurt?

SEPHIROTH: Not really. I'm used to pain like that.

STARKEY: Oh my.

THB: Hmm... No, this can't be them. But, they do look similar...

UNHOLY TRACY: Maybe the sixties band we're thinking of are their ancestors or something.

THB: Ah, that's probably it.

B-621: OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!! THE BEAT-EM UPS! ITS THE BEAT-EM-UPS! {Hugs Johhny} You're just as soft as I imagined! Captain, take a picture!

SEPHIROTH: EEE!!! {Takes picture, and then rips it out of the camera, and gets out a pen.} AUTOGRAPH!!!

B-621: OH GOD YES. SIGN JOHHNY SIGN.

JOHNNY: {Laughs nervously.} ....Sure... {Signs photo and gives it to B-621.}

B-621: OH HOLY OCTOPUS'S GARDEN! CAPTAIN LOOK

HOMESTAR TIGER: Right... where can I put my crap, junk, and crappy junk?

STARKEY: {Points to a door leading to the garden.} Just put it in the garden shed. And yes, the garden is being protected by glass.

SEPHIROTH: What kind of garden?

STARKEY: Strawberry Fields.

HOMESTAR TIGER: ...You want me to sleep in a garden shed?

STARKEY: Oh please. Just look inside. It's much more than a shed.

{Homestar tiger looks in the shed}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Woah. It's pretty in here! We have a domed arboretum like this!

UNHOLY TRACY:{looks in} Quite a lot of 'shrooms for a strawberry garden...

THB: Er... I'll go fix up the TARDIS for Victor...

VICTOR: ...I'll help.

UNHOLY TRACY:{sighs} Suit yourselves. {snaps fingers}

{the TARDIS' doors open. Victor and THB enter it and shut the doors behind them}

{Homestar tiger starts unloading his stuff}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Pillow, Slingshot, Photos of friends, Gravity gun, {Pulls out doomsday device} Hey, I've been lookin' for that! {Puts it aside} Minigun blueprints...

CHAOS: Guys... You know, We have bigger problems. Before we left, I was able to talk with the Blue Meanies, and they say if we can raise enough money by midnight tonight, we can buy back the ship. But we'll still be in debt until we manage to pay it all off. Problem is, we have no natural income. So, how do we raise money?

UNHOLY TRACY: Hmm... {claps hands. Some small, rectangular sheets of paper appear} ...Damn, just Monopoly money. I guess some of my powers are still locked out.

PAULUS: You guys seem like alright blokes... Seeing as it's a good cause, we could possibly donate some of our concert earnings?

JOHNNY: Even though our concert isn't for another week..

PAULUS: Oh, we can handle them for a little week. They can't be that bad.

CHAOS: They are.

B-621: I'm gonna go check this place out... {Walks over to a dusty looking locker.} Say, what's this?

JOHNNY: Oh, that's our locker. We've never been able to open it though. You could give it a try.

B-621: Hmm.. Okay! {Plays with the dial, trying to get a proper combination.} OH SCREW IT. {Punches one of the doors, knocking it right off its hinge. Inside, it is revealed to be filled with old Beatles albums.}

UNHOLY TRACY: Hmm? {looks at the Beatles stuff} ...OI! THB! VICTOR! COME OUT HERE!

{THB and Victor exit the TARDIS and run up to UT}

VICTOR: Yeah, dad?

UNHOLY TRACY: Is this who we were thinking of?

THB: ...I do believe it is. But, how could all this stuff survive for over 7000 years?

PAULUS: Well see, this ship is time-protected.. As long as anything is in here, it doesn't age one bit. How else do you think that we've been performing for hundreds of years?

K-BOT HR'D: That's... interesting.. So you only age outside the ship?

PAULUS: That's right!

VICTOR:{yawns} ...Look, can I leave now? For the past few days, I've been working like a dog, and now I should be sleeping like a log.

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Sure, go ahead.

{Victor walks off and enters the TARDIS}

B-621: Paulus, dare I ask... can I seriously have some of your hair? Please?

PAULUS: Erm.. No.

JOHNNY: Ooh, looks like you've got yourself a fanatic there!

B-621: ...MUST...HAVE...HAIR {Hand transforms into spinning razor saw}

UNHOLY TRACY:{picks up a magazine} "Paulus is dead"? Oh, I remember that. Heh-{sees B-621} WHOA! {runs over to B-621 and grabs his arm} OH, NO YOU DON'T!

B-621: UNHAND ME! I MUST HAVE PAULUS'S HAIR. I MUST BE ONE WITH THE BEAT-EM-UPS.

{Sephiroth comes back.}

SEPHIROTH: So, I've just been helping Starkey with his items... {Notices B-621 going crazy.} What the hell.

UNHOLY TRACY:{accidentally lets go of B-621's arm} ...Whoops. {his ice-arm's hand is sliced off by B-621's saw} ...You shouldn't have done that. {ice-hand reforms, now missing his glove. A blast of light-blue energy flies out of the hand and hits B-621, freezing him in a block of ice. UT grabs his glove and places it back on his hand} The ice won't hold him long. We need to run.

{Ice starts cracking}

UNHOLY TRACY: YEAH I THINK WE SHOULD RUN.

{Ice shatters}

B-621: {Drinking hot chocolate} Good stuff... oh? Oh yeah. {Tosses hot chocolate over shoulder. Other hand turns into laser blaster} BEAT-EM-UPS!!!

JOHNNY: You know, it usually takes a week to prepare for the concerts. We were decent enough to let you guys join our crew, so can you help us prepare? We'll even allow you to be the opening act if you do.

B-621: {Goes back to normal} Ooh, really? Yay! Wait.. opening act? OH HELL YEAH.

UNHOLY TRACY: Ugh, finally.

PAULUS: I'll go set the co-ordinates! {Leaves.}

UNHOLY TRACY: Say, after the concert, could you give a tour of the place, or something?

THB:{pops up from behind UT} You mean something like a magical mystery tour?

UNHOLY TRACY: ... {slaps THB}

CHAOS: Guys, am I the only one who thinks that this is all pointless? What hope do we actually have of recovering the ship?

SEPHIROTH: As I said before, we can work it out.

B-621: Yeah! At least we're not going nowhere, man!

SEPHIROTH: Plus, it doesn't matter if we don't get the Leviathan back, we can stay with the Beat-Em-Ups!

CHAOS: NO. DON'T SAY THAT. DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT.

UNHOLY TRACY: What do you mean?

CHAOS: We are NOT staying on this ship forever, even if we don't get the Leviathan back. I'd gladly rig something up, or even just live in the blank void of space.

UNHOLY TRACY: I wouldn't mind living on something you crate Chaos, just as long as you don't mess with my TARDIS.

CHAOS: Oh come on! We could make some sort of resteraunt, or a club for lonely hearts, or how about a space farm?

SEPHIROTH: ...You know, I hold most responsibility for the crew. I think I'm allowed to decide.

CHAOS: But I hold the most responsibility for the CREDIT CARD with MY NAME on it that YOU USED to charge it up and GET the ship taken away!

SEPHIROTH: Well that's your fault as you were the one who signed your name on my credit card in the first place!

CHAOS: ...I HATE YOU.

{Suddenly, a phone goes off. Chaos answers it.}

CHAOS: 'Yello?

WADE: {on phone} Hey! Hey, hello! H-

CHAOS: Wade? Where are you?

WADE: {on phone} A nice man named David Bowie picked me up in his space-a-ma-ship!

CHAOS: David- David Bowie? Really?

WADE: {on phone} Yeah! We're havin' a lot of fun!

CHAOS: How did you get David Bowie and we got The Beat-Em-Ups?

WADE: {on phone} I don't know! {singing can be heard in the background} Oh boy! I'm gonna do a duet!

{Wade hangs up.}

CHAOS: Son of a-

SEPHIROTH: What a space oddity.

CHAOS: More like space stupidity.

{Homestar Tiger walks back in.}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Hey, a lil' Blackbird told me that we're gonna preform for the Beat-Em-Ups! How do I help?

SEPHIROTH: We unpack the accessories and get ready for the concert?

CHAOS: No.

SEPHIROTH: Well, too bad. We're doing it.

CHAOS: {Sighs} I knew my objection wouldn't do much, but frankly I've stopped caring since line 592.

{Everyone looks at him weirdly}

CHAOS: Oh come on! Do you honestly believe me to be the type of person who would adhere to the rules of the fourth wall, let alone reality itself?

HOMESTAR TIGER: Soooo.. What can I do?

SEPHIROTH: I want you to get the equipment from the storage room. I want you, and a few more people to bring it outside onto the stage. We've got plenty of time, so take your time.

HOMESTAR TIGER: I can do it myself. I've been doing things myself for a very long time now. {Grabs dolly and walks to storage room.}

SEPHIROTH: ...That's what she said. {Homestar Tiger comes back to kick him in the nuts. He then leaves again.} Ouch.

---

{Johnny comes in.}

JOHNNY: Come on you lazy people! The show starts in 10 minutes!

SEPHIROTH: You said that it took a week to prepare, and we prepared it in about 10 minutes!

JOHNNY: I do all the calculations. As you see, I'm not the best at maths. I'm a college dropout, you see?

CHAOS: I hate to admit it but we're getting ferociously off-track here.

JOHNNY: Well stop dilly dallying! We need to get on stage! We haven't let anybody in yet, however..

SEPHIROTH: Where are we, anyway?

{Zoom out to reveal the Yellow Spacemarine parked right outside a giant concert hall, surrounded by millions of fans.}

{A few minutes later, the crew is backstage with the Beat-Em-Ups, making the final adjustments.}

GEORGIUS: Right, so you guys know what you're doing, right?

JOHNNY: We can't let them all play...

GEORGIUS: Who'll play then? For the opening act, that is..

SEPHIROTH: I'll be in front... {Picks up B-621 and puts him beside his arm.} Along with B-621. He can play Bass.

JOHNNY: Right.. So who's the lead guitarist...

STARKEY: Don't forget the drummer!

UNHOLY TRACY: So we're the opening act... Hmm... Hey, Chaos! {whispers into Chaos' ear}

CHAOS: You sick bastard! I like the way you think.

SEPHIROTH: What did you just say?

CHAOS: Well he said we should-

{Emergency Broadcasting System test. When it returns to normal, Sephiroth is in total shock.}

CHAOS: While they rip off their skins and replace them with hot leather.

HOMESTAR TIGER: I'm going somewhere else. {Walks off}

UNHOLY TRACY:{whispers to Chaos} Good thing you didn't tell them what I really said.

SEPHIROTH: That's it, I am NOT letting any of you enter my room while I'm sleeping.

THB:{pops up from behind UT} What are you talking about? You leave the door wi-

UNHOLY TRACY: SHH!

THB: But I'm just saying-

UNHOLY TRACY:{punches THB in the face} SHUT UP!

SEPHIROTH: {Picks up a guitar.} Guys, Me and B-2 are going to go on stage. Decide between yourselves who's gonna be the main guitarist and who's the drummer, or we're just gonna play it without you. {Picks up B-261 and another guitar and walks out}

B-621: Whoo! I'm gonna rock and roll and roll and rock!

UNHOLY TRACY: Hmm... {to Chaos} So, do you think we should do it?

{Cut to backstage. Sephiroth and B-621 are dressed in Sgt. Pepper costumes.}

SEPHIROTH: What do we play?

JOHNNY: Pick any of these songs... You only have to play 1 if you like. {Gives Sephiroth a list}

{cut back to the Spacemarine}

THB: Say, whatever happened to that Ryan-X guy?

UNHOLY TRACY: Uhh...

{cut to a few days ago, back on the Leviathan. The airlock is open. Ryan is laying on the ground in front of UT.}

RYAN-X: {hoarse} No! Wait! I still function!

UNHOLY TRACY: Wanna bet? {kicks Ryan-X out of the Leviathan, shuts the airlock}

RYAN-X: TRAAACYYY!

{cut back to The Spacemarine}

UNHOLY TRACY: I have no idea.

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Where the hell have you been?

CHAOS: Where the hell has who been?

{All of a sudden, a familar voice comes in}

RYAN-X: .....aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

{Ryan-X crashes into the Yellow SpaceMarine}

RYAN-X: {From outside} Let me in! LET ME IN!

UNHOLY TRACY:{glances out a window and sees Ryan-X} Do you hear something?

CHAOS: Tracy, what the hell? I told you to kill him. Not throw him into the fabric of space to die. Anyways, I'm not going to go out there to play this dumb show. I'm just going to wait it off and then probably go get a low-grade job at McWorld. Maybe Burger Kingdom.

RYAN-X: Help! I need somebody! Help-oh, wait. Jeez, how long has it been...all I remember is Tracy kicking me out of the airlock...someone tell me please what happened to Kaito? I haven't seen him in ages...

CHAOS: Was he one of those Garlic things we ran into earlier in the series? Because I cooked a few of those and made a stew with them.

RYAN-X: Garlics...was I unfrozen after them? Memory's been fuzzy for me...anyway, I must find Kaito...I miss him and I left while he was still young...I'm worried about him...

CHAOS: Well, now that you mention it, I did keep a few of the Neoptrs to throw into the stew. But I'm pretty sure that we threw the most abundant collection of them into the Furnace. Meaning your friend is probably melted to all infernal, holy hell.

RYAN-X: {in shock} What?! Well...he couldn't have been too exotic...he was just a fall-apart-when-squeezed animal, really...Please tell me you didn't cook a red wolf-looking thing...please!

UNHOLY TRACY: No, don't worry. My weird thing devoured them all alive, I think.

RYAN-X: {yelps in fear} Kaito...Well, I'll do anything to get Kaito back!

UNHOLY TRACY: ...What the hell? You were with that thing for like, a couple hours before Chaos destroyed them all! You can't possibly have grown so attached to that thing so quickly!

RYAN-X: I kept Kaito in my room before they were destroyed. All of that flying in space made my memory fuzzy. Anyway, we have to find the LeviathanX quick and find him! I may have only been with him for a few hours...but those were the best damn hours on this blasted ship...

CHAOS: Speaking of that blasted ship...We're probably never gonna get it back, are we?

UNHOLY TRACY: I doubt it.