Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Homoon emails/pets

HOMOON: Clickedy clackedy ckickedy!

SKUB: gripping
CHWOKA: C...ckickedy? How would you eve say that

{Homoon types Gmail.EXE}

{Chwoka trembles with rage as his pupils shrink and his nose begins to bleed.}

Dear Homoon,

do you have any pets and if so what kind?

XOXOXOXO, a cat

SKUB: I wonder what the cat looks like

SKUB: No, silly!

HOMOON: {Typing} so you want to know what kind of pet i have, eh? {stops typing}

CHWOKA: "TOO BAD!"
NACHOMAN: friggin canadians

TORONTOOO!!!!

BLUEBRY: MAPLE LEAAAAFS!!!! fuck yeah go leafs!

{A blue the cheat jumps in}

SKUB: Toronto is like The Cheat but blue, also he can go super saiya-jin 4!
CHWOKA: jumps in what

TORONTO: HIII!!!

BLUEBRY: {He said fabulously}

HOMOON: As you have just witnessed,

CHWOKA: oh shit am i legally culpable now

he is capable of human speech.

BLUEBRY: i call shenanigans
SKUB: I call Sue.

TORONTO: Thats right! I can also say Douglas!

SKUB: See? A character that literally never fails at anything it's like this is literary injustice!
CHWOKA: Go, you're just sooo perfect, aren't you?

HOMOON: You sure can..... Toronto is also The Cheat's cousin.

CHWOKA: He's basically Spike.
NACHOMAN: "he also fought against the nazis in world war 2 and can juggle flaming chainsaws"

{The Cheat walks in}

CHWOKA: Does the Cheat really... walk?
NACHOMAN: "slithers" is the more appropriate word

TORONTO: Say Douglas.

CHWOKA: Say, Douglas, do you know where a guy can get a bite to eat 'round here?

THE CHEAT: Meh!

CHWOKA: He just doesn't give a fuck.

TORONTO: eh....good enough

BLUEBRY: you can tell who got the smart genes in the family
SKUB: You can tell who got the paint chips.

HOMOON: I adopted from the pet shelter because i sensed a bond,

SKUB: "mostly because as soon as I stepped in I felt a terrible wave of psychic energy hurtling into my brain, tearing me apart from the inside and making the world around me into an incoherent nightmare of static and screams ok."

and even though he stank,

CHWOKA: SKANK!

i loved him.

NACHOMAN: "he's forcing me to say these things he has a knife oh god please help me"

TORONTO: Its true!

CHWOKA: Really? Show me the proof.

HOMOON: He can also do flash animation!

SKUB: "On his computer, the Orange Hallucinations which is not Tangerine Dreams because that's The Cheat's computer and this is an original work of fiction ok."

{cut to Toronto's computer, which is playing a video}

CHWOKA: of Egyptian riots}

PBT

CHWOKA: Peanut butter and tomato.
{Skub begins salivating}

HOMOON: I LIKE PIE AND TORONTO

BLUEBRY: "AND THAT IS IT, NOTHING ELSE."
SKUB: Hahahaha oh does he like pie? That's a tad........ random.........

{video ends}

CHWOKA: He just doesn't give a fuck.

HOMOON: Good job! {throws Toronto

CHWOKA: into an incinerator, his usefulness expired.

a piece of chocolate}

BLUEBRY: {it had been sitting in the crotch of his pants all day and smelled a bit off.}
SKUB: {But Toronto wasn't one to judge. To him, the smallest bit of sustenance, crotchly or not, was bliss. And like that, Homoon dismissed his slave, sending him to the basement where he spent most, if not all, of his time. Toronto spent the countless hours either sleeping or crying, and tonight, he wasn't tired.}

{the pop-up pops up

NACHOMAN: holy shit

and says "click here to email homoon"}

CHWOKA: Click where? I need to email him RIGHT NOW