(even if you aren't vegan)
JCMovies/15
JCM tries to bring the Decemberween spirit back to Wiki City.
Movie
{We start at a black screen. A light flashes on and reveals JCM's face.}
JCM: Where'd you get that flashlight from?
MAN: {offscreen} Does that really matter?
JCM: Yes. It does. That's a cool flashlight. I don't see them in stores.
MAN: It's made especially for us.
JCM: What are you, exactly?
MAN: I work for the police.
JCM: Details, man, details!
MAN: Will you just tell me what happened on the day of the incident?
JCM: Not until you tell me why the people in your group are the only ones that can get such awesome flashlights.
MAN: Do you want to go to jail, little boy?
JCM: No.
MAN: Then I suggest you cooperate.
JCM: Fine.
MAN: Good, then. Now I'll repeat, what happened on the day of the incident?
JCM: Well, you see...
{Cut to the School Student School. A bell is heard and all the students run out the door.}
JCM: It was the last day of school before Decemberween break. As usual, I was still stuffed in my locker.
{Cut to the school's hallway. Banging is heard in a locker with a tag saying "JCM' on it.}
{Cut to inside the locker.}
JCM: I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to-wait.
{JCM feels his pocket and pulls out a miniture rocket.}
JCM: My pocket rocket!
{Zoom into JCM as he looks at the viewer.}
JCM: A rocket...for your pocket.
{The rocket flies out of his hand and causes his locker to blow up.}
JCM: NOO-
{JCM's book bag falls on him. He puts it on and leaves the school.}
{Cut to a road. A drunk driver runs into JCM causing him to fly offscreen.}
{Cut to JCM's house. JCM lands on his feet on the porch and walks in.}
{Cut back to the interrogation room.}
MAN: What the heck are you babbling about? None of this makes any sense!
JCM: Actually, it was a normal day.
MAN: Will you just fast forward?
JCM: OK, fine. But I can assure you that happened about 5 hours before the incident.}
MAN: Tell me what happened four hours before it.
{Cut to JCM's house. He's reading a book titled "Moby Duck" upside down when a phone rings.}
JCM: {picks up the phone} Hello? Oh, happy Decemberween, Homfrog! What? You're planning on coming back to the School Student School?
{Cut to an outside view of Earth.}
JCM: {offscreen} Whoop-
{JCM is seen jumping off of Earth.}
JCM: {gasps} eee
{JCM falls back into Earth with a crash.}
{NachoMan walks next to JCM.}
NACHOMAN: What's your problem?
{JCM is about to say something when NachoMan stops him.}
NACHOMAN: No, wait. What's your latest problem?
JCM: My Decemberween wish has come true!
NACHOMAN: I'm probably going to regret asking this, but what was that?
JCM: For Homfrog to come back to the School Student School, of course. Guess what? I just got a call from him.
NACHOMAN: Oh, no. Don't tell me-
JCM: Yeah! The school has just got one more active student!
NACHOMAN: Crap! The place sucked enough without him!
{JCM's mouth goes sour.}
JCM: W-what?
NACHOMAN: I was right! I was going to regret it! Now I know ahead of time to leave that stupid dump before I get flooded with dirty thirdies.
{JCM's mouth unsours in surprise.}
JCM: Did you just say what I think you said?
NACHOMAN: Yeah, I did! Dir-ty thir-die. What you gonna do? Tell the cops on me?
JCM: I ought to! Maybe they'll put your foul mouth behind bars and we'll all be better off.
{NachoMan takes a swing for JCM and he ducks. JCM does a double pace, kicks NachoMan in the shin, and runs away.}
NACHOMAN: Ugh! I hate this place!
{Cut to a lawn. JCM is still running when he bumps into Dennis Dunjinman.}
DENNIS: Where are you going, blue one?
JCM: Oh, happy Decemberween, Dennis!
DENNIS: Dennis is a holiday atheist. In other words, she spends times in her room playing video games all year long, not letting calendar events challenge them.
JCM: Really?
DENNIS: Yes. So Dennis asks again where the blue one was going.
JCM: Anywhere where NachoMan isn't. I got into a horrible fight with him and almost died! Fortunately, I had a knife with me, and killed him before he had the chance! I'm running from the feds!
DENNIS: If the blue one is really a wanted criminal, why isn't he running to someplace more safer than Dennis's lawn?
JCM: Well, I couldn't think straight. I'm sure you know what that's like.
DENNIS: Is the blue one saying that Dennis has mind disorders?
JCM: No, of course no-
{Suddenly, The Mu jumps onscreen.}
THE MU: Don't worry, Dennis, the thought police...man is here!
JCM: Uh, I-
THE MU: You be quiet! You are getting a ticket for trespassing and disturbing the peace.
DENNIS: Dennis thanks Mr. Mu.
JCM: Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!
DENNIS: Oh, and Dennis forgot to say that the blue one admitted to murder of the highest degree.
JCM: What? No, I way lying to you to make my kick in NachoMan's shin become more nicer to my ego.
THE MU: So, you admit to assaulting him, though?
JCM: No, he tried to hit me first!
THE MU: Key word: tried! Not only have you shown this beautiful young lady what a horrible wimp you are, but you got two tickets in the process.
JCM: But I-beautiful?
THE MU: You're coming to the big house with me!
JCM: I've got an idea! How about you give me your Decemberween blessing and let me go free? I promise I won't upset Dennis or even come 5 feet near her again.
THE MU: How about no? Decemberween is the worst excuse you can come up with. We don't make exceptions for holidays. The law is the law and-
DENNIS: Mr. Mu!
THE MU: What?
{Zoom out. JCM is nowhere to be found.}
THE MU: Oh. Well, I guess we can make this one exception.
DENNIS: Doesn't Dennis remember Mr. Mu letting the blue one walk in the midst of his rant?
THE MU: No, that was definitely an exception I made.
DENNIS: ...Clunk.
{Cut to a street. JCM is walking down it, thinking.}
JCM: {thinking}Man, first NachoMan, then Dennis, and now The Mu. Why doesn't anyone care about the greatness of Decemberween?
{Music starts playing as JCM.}
JCM: {singing} Each day I walk around mistreated, but stay positive. Decemberween's one reason why I continue to live. It is something that everyone should always hold dear. It is the greatest time of the year!
{Cut to the interrogation room.}
MAN: Stop! What is this? Yesterday: The Musical?
JCM: What? I was just recounting everything that happened yesterday.
MAN: {dry} You're making all of this up, aren't you?
JCM: Of course not! You wanted the truth, I'm giving you the truth! The truth is not always easy to believe!
MAN: OK, so let's recount this. You started out coming out of a locker with a pocket rocket, then a drunk driver knocked you to your house, then you talked to some random guy about a stupid event with a frog, then you talked to who appears to be a female cybergeek, then you were approached by a thought policeman, then you expressed your feelings in song. Correct?
JCM: Yes.
MAN: Get out.
JCM: Wait! Just let em finish! OK?
MAN: Fine, but you have 30 more minutes to recount everything that happened, and if I don't hear anything relating to the incident yourself, I'm arresting you for withholding evidence.
JCM: Now, like I was saying...
{Cut back to the street.}
JCM: It is the greatest...time. Of the yeeeeaaarr!
{A glass bottle is thrown at JCM's head.}
CAR DRIVER: Shut up, kid!
JCM: {offscreen} Ow.
{JCM gets up and walks to his house.}
{Cut to JCM's room.}
JCM: It's time to spread the spirit of Decemberween and bring these Scrooges to the dust!
{JCM then takes off his hat and shakes some pieces of glass out of it.}
JCM: No wonder my head was itchy.
{Cut to Homfrog's house. JCM walks in. A knife is thrown right over his head.}
JCM: My goodness!
{Homfrog walks onscreen.}
HOMFROG: Sorry, one of my fake characters got angry that we didn't like his meal.
JCM: You made a chef character?
HOMFROG: No.
{They both look at each other for a few seconds.}
JCM: So, how was your day, Homfrog?
HOMFROG: Fine, how was yours?
JCM: Normal.
HOMFROG: That's too bad.
JCM: So, I heard you're planning on returning to the School Student School.
HOMFROG: Yep, in the flesh.
JCM: I must warn you, there might be some students not as happy as others about it.
HOMFROG: Oh please, can you think of one person that doesn't like me?
{NachoMan's head appears in a thought bubble.}
NACHOMAN: The place sucked enough without him!
{The thought bubble goes away.}
JCM: You're right. I can't.
HOMFROG: I knew it. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go fix some characters.
{Homfrog and JCM both walk their separate ways.}
{Cut to a forest. JCM walks through it with the same knife that nearly killed him at Homfrog's house.}
JCM: The first thing a great Decemberween needs is a tree!
{JCM finds a tree and shoves his knife into it. He then tries to take it out but it doesn't budge.}
JCM: Oh, dear.
{Suddenly, TreeWithAChainsaw walks onscreen.}
TREEWITHACHAINSAW: What are you doing to that tree?
JCM: Oh no! It's TreeWithAChainsaw, defender of trees, nightmare of lumberjacks!
TREEWITHACHAINSAW: Yeah, it's me, in the living flesh. I wish I could say the same about you in a few seconds!
{TreeWithAChainsaw turns on his chainsaw and JCM cowers in fear.}
JCM: Please spare me! I was just trying to get a Decemberween tree to bring the spirit of Decemberween back to Wiki City!
TREEWITHACHAINSAW: Oh, that's all? Why didn't you just say so?
{TreeWithAChainsaw cuts off his chainsaw and reaches into his leaves. He takes out a piece of paper.}
TREEWITHACHAINSAW: This is a list of stores in Wiki City that sells fake Decemberween trees. You can have it, but I better not see you and that knife in this forest, you hear?
JCM: Yes, I hear! Thanks!
{JCM grabs the list and runs offscreen.}
{Cut to JCM's house. He brings in a small tree with lights on it.}
JCM: Great! Now all I have to do is get my shopping hat! I'm going to the mall!
{Cut to the interrogation room.}
MAN: 15 minutes.
JCM: Don't worry. I'm almost there!
{Cut to outside the mall. JCM walks onscreen with a Santa-like hat.}
JCM: Who would've known that my mom was keeping this under her pillow the entire time? It almost seemed like she was hiding it from me.
{Skullbuggy drives into JCM, knocking him into the snow.}
{JCM gets back up.}
JCM: Whoa, that was a freak accident. Thank goodness I glued this to my head.
SKULLB: Crap, it survived.
{Cut to inside the mall. Everyone looks toward him and laughs.}
JCM: Hey! I'm bringing joy and cheer to everyone already! I didn't even get one present yet!
{JCM skips though the various stores in the mall with a bag that gets bigger every trip.}
JCM: Well, that's more than enough gifts for every person in the city! And people even kept trying to steal my hat! I didn't know it was that cool! But that guy that succeeded then tried to light a match to it was confusing. Must've been a custom in his country.
{JCM is about to walk out of the store when his eye is caught on a chorus.}
SINGERS: Here comes the Decemberween Thnikkaman!
{JCM jumps with joy.}
JCM: Yes! The last ingredient to a perfect Decemberween! And just in the nick of time, too!
{The Thnikkaman walks out of the the mall and JCM runs to him.}
JCM: {quickly} The Thnikkaman, you need to help me! The people of Wiki City are losing their Decemberween spirit and you and I are the only one that can bring it back to them! You have to help me save the holiday, which is exactly tomorrow, please, for the love of Jupiter, please!
{While he talks, a silhouette is walking through the snow with a wagon containing a moving bag in it.}
THE THNIKKAMAN: Yeah. {takes off his sunglasses} Shut up, kid!
JCM: ...Is that a yes?
{The Thnikkaman shakes his head and walks offscreen.}
JCM: No, really!
{JCM runs after The Thnikkaman.}
{Cut to a street. JCM runs down it.}
JCM: The Thnikkaman! The Thnikkaman!
{Zoom out. JCM bumps into the silhouette with the wagon.}
SILHOUETTE: {deep voice} Watch where you're going!
JCM: Sorry, mister. You need help with the bag?
SILHOUETTE: NO! I mean, it's not that much of a problem. Thanks, though.
{JCM backs out the way and the silhouette continues on his way. Zoom back into JCM.}
JCM: Bye!
{Cut to the interrogation room.}
MAN: You let the freaking criminal pass you?
JCM: Uh, yes.
MAN: Are you insane?
JCM: Hey, that's not fair! I didn't know there was a person in that bag!
MAN: Well, you could have looked at the fact that the bag was moving and the man's reaction to your offer and put 2 and 2 together!
JCM: What does the number 5 have to do with this?
{The man facepalms.}
MAN: OK, you told me everything I need to know in detail, and with 7 minutes to spare. You can leave now.
JCM: Do I get a-
MAN: Please. You can have anything you want. Just get the heck out of here.
JCM: I just wanted one of those donuts you police guys eat.
MAN: You can have all of our donuts! Just LEAVE ME ALONE!
JCM: Cool.
{JCM walks out of the room and the man's face falls onto the table.}
{The End}