Homestrong Emails/H1

{Open to Homestrong's underground labratory base. Homestrong is sitting in his computer chair, with a rather impatient look on his face}

HOMESTRONG: Samuel! Get over here at once!

{Long pause. Crickets. Homestrong looks to the right. Zoom out to reveal a giant cricket with a briefcase and a hat.}

HOMESTRONG: For the last time, I don't want any!

{Cricket hops away. Samuel finally walks in holding something in his hand}

HOMESTRONG: SAMUEL! Did you not hear me!?

SAMUEL: {Sarcastic} Oh no, I can never hear anybody bellowing to me from 15 feet away...

HOMESTRONG: {Concerned look} ...Do I need to get you checked up or something?

SAMUEL: {Sigh} What do you want...?

HOMESTRONG: I got this computer chair for checking emails!

{Moment of silence}

SAMUEL: ...And?

HOMESTRONG: ...I forgot to buy a computer!

SAMUEL: ...Seriously?

HOMESTRONG: Yes! Thus, we must go shopping! We, as in you! ...And pick me up a Sierra Mist on the way back!

SAMUEL: {Rolls eyes} Alright, alright... {Starts walking away}

HOMESTRONG: ...Wait a second!

SAMUEL: {Turns around} Yeah?

HOMESTRONG: Whats that thing in your hand?

SAMUEL: {Looks at what he is holding} Oh, this. This is just my new "Comportable" I ordered off of my new Compy catalog. I was thinking of buying the "Compey", but I heard it malfunctions ALL the time!

HOMESTRONG: So, wait. Your new Comportable?

SAMUEL: Er, yea-... oh, don't you even-

HOMESTRONG: TOO LATE! {Jumps out of chair, pouncing Samuel offscreen. Come back on screen holding the Comportable. Homestrong holds it in the air, triumphantly}

YOU GOT THE COMPORTABLE! PRESS UPPER Z TO EQUIP IT!

COMPORTABLE: Welcome. I am Comportable, your new-

HOMESTRONG: Yeah, yeah! Just give me an email!

COMPORTABLE: ...Fine... {Quietly, under breath} asshole...

HEY YOU BUTTSNIFFER
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING WITH MY SHTICK
I CALLED IT FIRST
MOM LIKES ME BETTER

- NUMBER @

HOMESTRONG: HIGAWHA- BUGUGAGA- NYEESNE-

{TWO LONG HOURS OF STUTTERING IN DISBELIEF LATER...}

HOMESTRONG: WHATA-... HOW DARE HE! Samuel, do you know who this is from!?

{Samuel looks at the screen}

SAMUEL: ...Hey, I think I do. Its from-

HOMESTRONG: {Dramatic closeup} Badstar...

SAMUEL: Yeah- ...wait, what?

HOMESTRONG: This is from my brother! Badstar! Oh, I hate him so much! ...But the rivalry ends today... it is time to launch my MASTER PLAN!

{Thunder and lightning booms in the background.}

HOMESTRONG: ...What the...? {Looks out window. The sun is shining brightly and no clouds are in the sky} ...That was weird. ...Anyway, time for my MASTER PLAN! To Wiki City! {Homestrong jumps in a rocket and blasts off, out of the base}

{Long moment of silence}

SAMUEL: {Sigh} I can't believe he doesn't know who its from...

COMPORTABLE: I know! Its obviously from-

SAMUEL: My friend in Decentville.

COMPORTABLE: ...Wait, what? ...You actually HAVE one of those?

SAMUEL: Yeah. We actually look a little bit alike. We both have similar proffesions. I work for a villain, he works for a villain...

COMPORTABLE: ...Wait, don't you think that maybe, just maybe, its your friend's BOSS who wrote the email?

SAMUEL: Hey, yeah! Though, still... I should check up just in case.

{Cut to a group of teleportation devices. Samuel walks onscreen}

SAMUEL: Honestly, why did he install teleporters if he didn't even plan on using them?

{Cut: Badstar walking down the sidewalk talking on his cell phone}

BADSTAR: For the last time Kyubii, I'm not picking up 10 sticks of dynamiiiii... oh my. Kyubii, I'll call ya back. {Hangs up. Sighs} Alright, WHAT are you doing this time?

{Zoom out to show Homestrong floating in a large flying machine}

HOMESTRONG: Brother, it is time for to die! BEHOLD! MY NEW ARMY!

BADSTAR: ...Oh. My. God. Its... ITS...

{Pan over to reveal... Storm Eagle, Chill Penguin, Flame Mammoth, Spark Mandrill, Armored Armadillo, Launch Octopus, Boomer Kuwanger, and Sting Chameleon from Megaman X}

BADSTAR: ...The mavericks from Megaman X?

HOMESTRONG: Yes... NOW PREPARE TO SUFFER. Attack! Storm Eagle!

{Storm Eagle jumps in front of Badstar}

STORM EAGLE: Storm Tornado! {Storm Eagle launches a pink spinning tornado... which blows Badstar a few feet back}

BADSTAR: ... {Walks back to where he was and punches Storm Eagle in the face}

STORM EAGLE: Ow! You little... Storm Tornado! {Launches Storm Tornado once again... which blows Badstar a few feet back again.}

BADSTAR: ... {Walks back to Storm Eagle and punches him in the face... again.}

STORM EAGLE: Grrrr... take this! STORM TO-

BADSTAR: {Punches Storm Eagle in the face, knocking him down. Badstar then starts stomping on him over and over until he explodes}

GET EQUIPPED WITH STORM TORNADO

HOMESTRONG: ...Okay, this could be going better. ...Anyway, Flame Mammoth! Attack!

FLAME MAMMOTH: Lets go! TAKE THIS! {Jumps in the air and flies through the air. Starts coming down, about to crush Badstar}

BADSTAR: Aw, CRAP! Um... er... STORM TORNADO? {Fires the storm tornado upwards, blowing Flame Mammoth up... and up... and up.}

FLAME MAMMOTH: FLAME MAMMOTH IS BLASTING OFF AGAiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn...

{Moment of silence}

YOU GOT FLAME BLASTER I GUESS

CHILL PENGUIN: SQAUWK! I'M CHILL PENGUIN! SQAUWK! {Slides towards Badstar... only to get caught in the Flame Blaster} DEAR GOD THE PAIN {Explosion}

SHOTGUN ICE FOR YOU

SPARK MANDRILL: Ha! You haven't seen anything yet! Now-

{Badstar fires Shotgun Ice at Spark Mandrill, freezing him. Spark Mandrill breaks free after a few seconds}

SPARK MANDRILL: Prepare-

{Shotgun ice'd}

SPARK MANDRILL: To-

{Shotgun ice'd}

SPARK MANDRILL: Meet-

{Shotgun ice'd}

SPARK MANDRILL: Your-

{Shotgun ice'd}

SPARK MANDRILL: Doom-

{Shotgun ice'd}

SPARK MANDRILL: {Pulls back fist}

{Shotgun ice'd. Spark Mandrill explodes}

SHOCK BALL...THINGY. ...HAVE IT

BADSTAR: ...This is getting... sad.

ARMORED ARMADILLO: G'day mate!

BADSTAR: ...Dear god!

ARMORED ARMADILLO: G'day! I'm Armored Armadillo and I'm-

{Badstar fires Spark Mandrill's weapon, destroying his protection}

ARMORED ARMADILLO: ...About to die...

Y'KNOW LETS JUST SPARE ARMORED ARMADILLO THE HUMILATION AND JUST SKIP TO THE WEAPON HAVE A ROLLING SHIELD

LAUNCH OCTOPUS: Prepare to-... oh my god... can't... BREATHE! {Falls to the ground struggling for air}

BADSTAR: ...Y'know, I'd just hate to add insult to injury here, but... {Fires rolling shield at Launch Octopus, destroying him}

BADSTAR YOU JERK HERES HOMING TORPEDO BTW

BOOMER KUWANGER: {Appears out of thin air} Greetings... now prepare to meet your doom!

BADSTAR: {Fires Homing Torpedo at Boomer Kuwanger, but right as the torpedos are about to hit him, he vanishes and appears behind Badstar}

BOOMER KUWANGER: Ahahaha! Badstar, you fool! I have the power to defy physics! To defy law! {Dramatic closeup} I AM the law...

{Moment of silence. The homing torpedos stop in midair... and all fly towards Boomer Kuwanger, all blasting him in the head}

BOOMER KUWANGER: OH JESUS THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN {Head explodes. Body falls over}

BLAH BLAH BOOMERANG CUTTER BLAH

STING CHAMELEON: You may have defeated the others, but you're out of luck! {Vanishes}

BADSTAR: {Sighs} What is up with these Naruto wannabees?

STING CHAMELEON: {Appears in front of Badstar and fires his tongue at him... but Badstar catches the tongue in his hand}

{Moment of silence}

BADSTAR: ... {Mischevious smile. Pulls out Boomerang Cutter}

STING CHAMELEON: Oh no... PLEASE NO

{Cuts offscreen to show Homestrong}

STING CHAMELEON: No... NO... OH SWEET MOTHER OF CRAP

{Sounds of large violence and possible mutilation are heard as Homestrong looks away in fear and disgust}

{Explosion}

HOMESTRONG: Well, Brother... you have defeated my mavericks! But is time for... PLAN B. ....... {Runs away}

{Cut back to Homestrong's Base. Samuel walks in}

COMPORTABLE: Well, did you sort things out with your friend?

SAMUEL: Yeah. His boss meant it for some... blue skull guy.

COMPORTABLE: ...Wha-

SAMUEL: Don't bother asking... just don't.

{Homestrong walks back in}

SAMUEL: So, how did your plan g-

HOMESTRONG: {Obviously humilated} AMAZINGLY NOW WE NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN

SAMUEL: ...Wha-

HOMESTRONG: NEVER AGAIN

'{The Paper of Eternal Suffering {Red paper, black writing} comes down. End of email}