Gilligan 'n' Tracy/GTChrist

{The episode opens with a snowy sky. The words, "A Gilligan 'n' Tracy Christmas" appear in big red and green letters covered in lights. The camera pans down to Gilligan's house. It zooms inside Gilligan's house. Gilligan is decorating his christmas tree and Tracy is helping}

TRACY: Gilligan, why can't we put a Haruhi figurine on the tree?

GILLIGAN: Got it covered! {Pulls out a large figurine of Haruhi} This goes at the top!

TRACY: ...Oh, I thought you said we couldn't. Okay, hand me it.

GILLIGAN:{Gives Tracy the figurine} I changed my mind. Sure, Skullbuggy will haunt us, but still! NOTHING SHALL STOP OUR FANBOYNESS!

{Pan over to show the window. Outside, SkullB is glaring at the two with a look that could set the very soul on fire.}

TRACY: Even if we lose access to the internet. ...Say, is this figurine breakable?

GILLIGAN: Nope. Go ahead.

TRACY: ...You sure? Okay. {flies up to the ceiling, places the Haruhi figurine on the top of the tree, floats back down}

GILLIGAN: Thats the best tree ever...

TRACY: Yes, yes it is...

GILLIGAN: Well, now we should probably go to the mall and get some christmas shopping done.

TRACY: Okay. Wait, who, besides us, are we buying anything for? I already gave my dad his gift.

{cut to Bell's house, Christmas morning. Bell opens a box, revealing a time bomb}

IM A BELL: What the f-

{cut back to Gilligan & Tracy}

GILLIGAN: Hmmm... well, Forrest. Remember last year when we didn't get him anything?

TRACY: Oh yeah. ...Did we ever get around to fixing that wall?

GILLIGAN: Nope. The hole is still there. He's pretty hard to shop for, too. If he didn't have his mom's physcic powers, we wouldn't have to worry about him destroying my house!

TRACY: Yeah... So, what are we gonna get him?

GILLIGAN: Hmmm... well, he is half pokemon. We should probably get him a Pokemon game.

TRACY: I don't know... It seems kinda cruel to play a game in which you have to capture your own species and fight with them.

GILLIGAN: Gotta agree with ya, there. ...Okay, lets just get him a mug.

TRACY: Okay.

GILLIGAN: TO THE MALL!

TRACY: Ah-ha-haii!!!!

GILLIGAN: ...What the hell, man?

TRACY: Sorry. I do a Mario impression every now and then.

{Cut: Mall}

GILLIGAN: Well, we got Forrest his present. Now lets go but ours. Ready... DIVIDE!

TRACY:{runs off}

GILLIGAN:{Runs off too.} Now lets see... what would Tracy like?

{a file cabinet with a face bounces in}

FILE CABINET: HI! May I interest you in a {voice turns deep and demonic} KILL YOURSELF?

GILLIGAN: No thank you...

{a basketball with a face rolls onscreen. It opens it's mouth as to say something, but Bell walks onscreen, holding an AK-47}

IM A BELL: Nobody is going to get that reference. {shoots the file cabinet and the basketball full of holes}

GILLIGAN: Okay... OOOOOOOOOH!!! {Notices a hardware store. A chainsaw is in the window. Tracy would love that!

{Cut to Tracy}

TRACY: Hmm... I wonder what I could get him... ...Why am I stating my thoughts out loud? ...I'm doing it again. ...FFFFFFFFFFF.

{A large store called the cathuman store appears}

TRACY: ...RANDOMLY APPEARING STUFF? I HAVE TO GO IN HERE. {opens door, runs into the store}

CREEPY GUY BEHIND COUNTER: HelLllLLLLLLLoooOOOOOOOO... WhAt CAn I dO FoR uuuuuuuuu?

TRACY: ...Do you have any housecoats? No, I'm kidding. What-what do you SELL here?

CREEPY GUY: wE HaVE StuFFFFIngs foR kitty people... {Creepy laugh}

TRACY: ...Stuffing? ...Do you mean stuff?

CREEPY GUY: thATS Whaaaat I saIddd!

TRACY: Ah. Okay. {looks to the left} ...Personalized scratching posts? Can you make one of {pulls out a picture of SkullB} This?

CREEPY GUY: OooKaaaaAAAyyyyzzzzzz!

{An hour later...}

CREEPY GUY: I IS DONE

TRACY: THANKS HOW MUCH IS IT

CREEPY GUY: TWO MILLION BILLON TRILLION PLZ

TRACY: OKAY DO YOU ACCEPT VISA

CREEPY GUY: ...Excuse me?

TRACY: Do you accept Visa cards?

CREEPY GUY: ...Visa better be a new word for cash.

TRACY: ...So, you don't accept credit cards?

CREEPY GUY: Nope.

TRACY: Damn. {takes out wallet, takes a large pile of money, sets it on counter. He takes the scratching skullbuggy and walks off}

{As Tracy exits the store, SkullB glares at him from afar.}

TRACY: O HAI SCRAWLBIGGY.

SKULLB: YOU WILL PAY FOR THE INJ

SOULJA BOY: Yo dis is Soulja Boy Tell 'Em and we got a new dance for y'alls. It's called the Soulja Boy.

{Everyone around instinctively does the Soulja Boy dance for about twenty minutes. Soulja Boy then walks off with SkullB.}

SOULJA BOY: Hey, you wanna go back to my place and mess around, if you know what I mean?

SKULLB:'{make a face similar to this: <:3} SURE!

TRACY: ...What a strange person. Well, I better go find Gilligan. {walks off}

{Meanwhile, Gilligan walks out of the burning wreck that used to be the hardware store. Cut to Tracy, in running out of the the food court. He is carrying various foodstuffs along with the scratching skullbuggy. People are chasing after him}

GILLIGAN: {Sees Tracy from afar} Oh, that Tracy! Wait... whats he carry-... oh, its a corndog. ... yep, probably a corndog.

{Tracy runs by Gilligan}

TRACY: HeyGilliganI'llseeyoubackatthehousebye! {runs off}

{the people run past Gilligan}

{Christmas morning...}

{Tracy walk down the stairs, yawning. There is an average family of average humans opening presents. They stare at Tracy, frightened}

TRACY: ...Sorry, wrong house. {opens door, walks out}

{Later at Gilligan's...}

GILLIGAN: PRESENTSPRESENTSPRESENTS. DEAR GOD WHERES TRA-

TRACY:{busts through the window whilst swinging on a vine somehow} Ah-ha-haii!

GILLIGAN: PRESENT TIME GET DOWN HERE

TRACY:{lets go of the vine, drops to the ground} Hey. Oh, by the way, there's a vine nailed to your house.

GILLIGAN: WHO CARES PRESENTS

TRACY: YAY PRESENTS {notices there are only two presents under the tree} ...FFFFFFFFFFFF.

GILLIGAN: DAMNDAMNDAM- {Notices three presents behind the tree} Whaaaaa?

TRACY: ...WHA-HOW DID-WHO-BUT SANTA SAID HE HATED US

GILLIGAN: ...That was the mall Santa. ...When we were 8.

TRACY: ...Oh.

GILLIGAN: {Takes the three presents out from behind the tree.} Okay, so this one is for you... {Hands Tracy a small gift.} and this other one is for me. Okay... we open now! {Rips open present} OH, AWESOME. ITS A HARUHI CHARACTER SONG CD. I got Yuki, who did you get?

TRACY:{opens present} ...ITSUKI. {opens CD case, prepares to smash it, but stops} Oh, wait, it's Kyon. {wellfaces}

GILLIGAN: {Crosses arms} What'choo got against Itsuki?

TRACY: ...I'm not sure. I just don't like him. Maybe it's his perpetual smiling. Reminds me of Gin Ichimaru from Bleach...

GILLIGAN: ...Aaaaaaanyway, this one is for both of us. LETS TAKE A LOOK SEE {Opens third present} O-OH DEAR LORD... ITS BEAUTIFUL

TRACY: WHAT IS IT? I CAN'T SEE IT. ITS AWESOMENESS BLINDED ME.

GILLIGAN: {Holds up... the Haruhi wii game} SANTA LOVES US

TRACY:{rubs eyes} ...YAY SANTA

GILLIGAN: THIS IS THE BEST DECEMBERW- I MEAN CHRISTMAS EVER. Now lets end this thing. Dear god, its march!

TRACY: SHH! Nobody knows that! ...What about those two presents? {points to the two presents he and Gilligan bought for eachother}

GILLIGAN: OH RIGHT. {Opens his present} A scratching post. ...Ummm... no offense, but I find this offensive. I'm only HALF-cat! I'm a person too, ya kno- ...Aw, screw it. {Attacks scratching post} WHEEEEE

TRACY: I would have had it made to look like Haruhi instead of Skullbuggy, but you're not supposed to hump it. {opens present} ...CHAINSAW YAY. ...

{Tracy looks out window at Skullbuggy staring in. Tracy grins, and tries to turn on the chainsaw. Skullbuggy runs off, scared}

GILLIGAN: THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER

TRACY: YES IT IS NOW LET'S END THIS TRAINWRECK OF A SHOW ALREADY

ITS OVER!!! MERRY MARCHMAS EVERYONE