Gilligan 'n' Tracy/Ep1.

{The episode starts off with Gilligan's apartment. Gilligan and Tracy are watching TV.}

GILLIGAN: And thats how I saved you from that elephants stomach!

TRACY: Huh. I could have gotten out of the myself, though. {pulls out a machete}

ON TV: Now in theaters! Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 57!

GILLIGAN: Why they decided to devide the seventh movie into 100 parts, I'll never know... Hey, we should go see it!

TRACY: One; Likely to cheat customers out of their money. Two; Sure. I have money to spare. {pulls out a five dollar bill, drops it onto the ground. It explodes a la Aqua Teen Hunger Force}

GILLIGAN: Okay... that doesn't usually happen. {Pulls out ten bucks.} Lets go! {Gets off couch and walks out followed by Tracy.}

TRACY: Say, there's always something I wanted to ask you. Why do you live in an apartment?

GILLIGAN: {Walking down the stairs.} Cause It makes me feel free! Sure the pipes get broken half the time, I have rats crawling through my floorboards, and the landlord keeps barging in EVERY FREAKING DAY!!! But other then that its fine.

TRACY:{follows} I could buy you your own house, you know. {gets out a roll of 1000 dollar bills}

GILLIGAN: Nah, thats okay.

{The landlord appears right in front of Gilligan}

LANDLORD: BLAH BLAH BLAH RENT BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!

GILLIGAN: ...Ya know what, nevermind. Gimme the money.

{A few seconds later...}

GILLIGAN: {Gets in his red ferrari.}

TRACY:{gets in alongside him, hands him a blank check made out to him} It doesn't matter what the price is.

GILLIGAN: Thanks, buddy! {Puts check in pocket. Starts car. Drives off.}

{A half hour later...}

GILLIGAN: I think we're almost to the theater.

TRACY: Good.

GILLIGAN: {Drives into the parking lot.} It shouldn't be too hard to find a parking space.

{One hour later...}

GILLIGAN: We...are going... to die here!!!

TRACY: Um... I can do this. {points upward. a nearby parked van explodes} That help?

GILLIGAN: ...You scare me sometimes. {Parks in the space.}

TRACY: Mwahaha.

GILLIGAN: {Gets out of car.}

TRACY:{gets out of the car and walks up to the from of the theater} Yes, two tickets for the Harry Potter movie, please.

TICKET GUY: Sorry, all sold out.

RICH PERSON:{walks up with small child} Two tickets for the Harry Potter movie, please. {hands the ticket person two hundred dollars} Keep the change.

TICKET PERSON: Yes sir! {hands the rich person two tickets}

TRACY: Hmph.

{cut to the concession stand. Tracy and Gilligan are there. blood is seen splattered on the door exiting the theater. There are policemen outside the door questioning the rich man}

GILLIGAN: {In line with Tracy} Did you see that guys face when we pulled out his spleen? {Laughs} Priceless...

TRACY: Yeah, and I can't believe the police thought the rich guy's kid did it! {laughs}

{Gilligan and Tracy are actually first in line}

CONCESSION STAND GUY: {Staring at Gilligan and Tracy wide eyed}

GILLIGAN: You didn't hear anything......

CONCESSION STAND GUY: But-

TRACY:{sets own hand on fire(black flames} This burning hand says you heard NOTHING.

CONCESSION STAND GUY: O-okay... {Gulps} So... what would you like?

GILLIGAN: One extra-large popcorn, two medium sodas, one 7-up and one Coke, and 3 packs of gummy worms. Oh, and two packs of M&Ms.

TRACY: Erm... a large popcorn with blood and cheese on it, a large soda, and... um... {bends down to look at candies} What the- {stands up} And that box of fried rice down there. Er, and another large drink. Soy sauce.

CONCESSION STAND GUY: I'm sorry, but we don't serve soy sauce as-{looks at Tracy's still-burning hand} Er, right away.

{A few minutes later...}

TRACY: So, where's the movie, Gilligan?

GILLIGAN: Our tickets say the movies playing in gate 16.

TRACY: Okay. {camera shift to doors marked the number Tracy says}{mumbling} One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen... {normal} Six- {camera shift to a tunnel marked "16"}{unenthusiastic} -teen. Why they built a tunnel leading to a theater, I'll never know.

GILLIGAN: {Opens door to tunnel. Walks down stairs into the theater.}

TRACY:{follows Gilligan} Okay, let's find seats. Oh! How about THAT one! {points to two empty seats}

FAT GUY:{is sitting next to the two seats and is surrounded by buckets of popcorn} START THE MOVIE ALREADY! {chugs a bucket of popcorn}

TRACY: Er, nevermind.

GILLIGAN: {Points to two really good seats near the top row.} How about over there?

TRACY: Yeah, that'll work. And, if anyone sits in from of us with really large hair, I've come prepared. {pulls out shears}

GILLIGAN: {Walks to the seats}

TRACY:{follows Gilligan}

GILLIGAN: {Sits down}

TRACY:{does the same}

{trailers start}

NARRATOR: Coming soon to a theater and/or YouTube near you...

{A baby behind Gilligan and Tracy is crying really loudly.}

TRACY: GRR... {puts muzzle on baby}

MOTHER: HEY! You-

TRACY: Shut up. {puts muzzle on the mother}

{A guy enters the theater and sits down}

GUY: A PREVIEW!?!? I DON'T WANNA SEE A PREVIEW!!!!!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOVIE SCREEN: S is for silence. Please be quiet during the following presentations.

GUY: SILENCE!?!? MORE LIKE "SUCKS"!!!!!! Ooooohhhh....... that burns!!!

TRACY: GRAAAH!!!! {attacks the guy, realizes it's Im a bell} Er... Oh. Um... Hey, dad, there's a corpse outside this theater!

IM A BELL: Hoorah! I was feeling hungry. {runs out}

TRACY: There. He's gone.

MOVIE SCREEN: Now for our feature presentation...

{30 minutes into the movie...}

GILLIGAN: {Squirming in seat} {Whispering to Tracy} Dude, I gotta pee really badly...

TRACY: Right... {pauses time} Okay, the movie's stopped. Now go use the bathroom. {hands Gilligan a gun} Use this if any rats attack you.

GILLIGAN: {Gets up and leaves. Comes back seconds later. Gives Tracy a big dead rat} This attacked me in the bathroom. You can have it. Its a present!

TRACY: Thanks. I was running low on blood for my popcorn. {pours rat's blood onto own popcorn, eats remains, restarts movie}

{An 9 year old boy behind Gilligan dumps soda on Gilligan's head}

GILLIGAN: GAH!!!

BOY: {Laughs}

TRACY: What-{looks behind Gilligan, discovers the kid is the crying baby's brother} Wow. Ma'am, you are a HORRIBLE parent. You have a whining baby, a FRIGGING NINE YEAR OLD DUMPING SODA ON PEOPLE'S HEADS, and a teen who I believe is currently snorting cocaine. ...While smoking a cigarette. ...While drinking vodka.

{the teen Tracy is describing lights himself on fire}

TRACY: Oh. Oh my. Erm... I'll be right back, Gilligan. {gets up, grabs teenager, runs out. a few seconds later, Tracy and the teenager voip into their seats, but the teen looks like he has quit drugs and both are slightly older} There. I made him quit drugs and alcohol. With VIOLENCE. {grins evilly}

GILLIGAN: I said it once, and I say it again... you scare me sometimes.

TRACY: Thank you.

{40 minutes later...}

{All of Tracy and Gilligan's food is gone}

BADSTAR: {Reaches into popcorn bucket} ...Huh? {Realizes bucket is empty} Oh...

TRACY: Crap. Well, let's get more food. It shouldn't take long, considering the concession stand worker is afraid of us.

GILLIGAN: {Exits theater followed by Tracy.} GAH!!! {Falls down on knees covering eyes} MY EYES!!!!

TRACY: What's wrong?

GILLIGAN: MY EYES!!! They must of been getting adjusted to the darkness. Now the light hurts my eyes.......

TRACY: Huh. Mine don't do that. I wonder why... Maybe they aren't working correctly. {pokes left eye, doesn't even flinch}

GILLIGAN: Okay, I think I'm better now... {Gets up and walks to stand. Badstar is behind the concession stand. He looks the same, except his hat and boxing gloves are gone} Dad!? What are you doing here!?

BADSTAR: Making a cameo!

TRACY: Crap. This shall likely take longer than last time to get our food. I can't threaten my best friend's father...

BADSTAR: So, what would you like?

TRACY:{gets out a tape recorder, presses play}

TAPE RECORDER:{Gilligan's voice} One extra-large popcorn, two medium sodas, one 7-up and one Coke, and 3 packs of gummy worms. Oh, and two packs of M&Ms. {pause}{Tracy's voice} Erm... a large popcorn with blood and cheese on it, a large soda, and... um... {pause} What the- {pause} And that box of fried rice down there. Er, and another large drink. Soy sauce.

TRACY:{presses stop, puts away taper recorder}

BADSTAR: Okay! But we don't serve soy sauce as a drink. Sorry.

TRACY: Um, okay then. I'll just get it myself. {summons a cup of soy sauce}

BADSTAR: {Gives Gilligan and Tracy their food} There ya go! Enjoy the movie!

TRACY: Thanks. {walks ovver to theater 16, notices that there's a janitor standing in front of the cave} Um, could you move, please?

JANITOR: ...No.

TRACY: ...{warps the janitor away. The janitor reappears stuckto the ceiling. Tracy walks through the cave}

GILLIGAN: {Follows Tracy. Walks to their seats.}

TRACY:{sits down}

{a naked fat guy runs in and smashes into the movie screen}

GILLIGAN: ...WHAT THE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!????!!!!!!!??????

TRACY: Hmm... {gets up, runs toward the fat guy}

{Im a bell runs toward the fat guy along with Tracy. They both grow large fangs and devour the fat guy. Bell disappears and Tracy warps back to his seat}

GILLIGAN: ... O_o

TRACY: I'm sorry you had to see that. {wipes blood off of his mouth}

GILLIGAN: {Looks at the broken movie screen.} Um... well, I guess the movies over...

TRACY: Considering everyone else ran out in terror, I'd say you're correct.

{an army of naked fat guys run in. Tracy runs to them, and Bell reapears at thm. They both devour the fat guys}

GILLIGAN: ...I'll go start the car. {Runs off}

ITS OVER!!!