Fake Character Email Funstar Player/memories

Summary

Homestar gets Funstar to go to a ceremony in memeory of the soldier(s) that lost their lives in the Homestarmy/Strong Badia war.

Cast (in order of appearance): Funstar Player, Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Coach Z(Easter egg)

Places: Funstar Player's Computer Room, The Stick, Race Track(Easter egg)

Date: May 27, 2008

Transcript

FUNSTAR: {singing} Email, email's really fun. Email, and there's more than one.

Please

Come to the memorial ceremony, where we
will remesance the life of those who died in the
battle of Strong Badia

Homestar

FUNSTAR: Uh, what do you mean "those"? The only soldier that lost his life in that "battle" was Frank Bennedetto, and he's an inanimate object! Also, that wasn't even a battle. You guys tried to take over Strong Bad but couldn't because he was playing badmiton. In short, no. Also, you more than anyone should know to put "subject" in the subject bar.

{Homestar Runner walks in.}

HOMESTAR: So, are you coming? I came just in case you didn't get the thing.

FUNSTAR: No. Goodbye.

{Funstar shoves Homestar out the door.}

HOMESTAR: {while the door is closing on him} So, is that a ye-

{Funstar goes back to the computer.}

FUNSTAR: OK, now. Time for a real email!

A Race

Dear Funstar,
Can You Beat Me In A Race?
From,

Micah

FUNSTAR: Great. You again. It's already bad enough that you emailed me again in that horribly written style, but copying your last email and then replacing Homestar's name with yours? That's just downright sad. That proves no originality. Also, you know that I can beat you in a race.

HOMESTAR: {offscreen} Actually, you can't.

FUNSTAR: What do you mean?

HOMESTAR: As much as I don't like saying this, he...beat me in a race before. And if he can beat me, he certainly can beat you.

FUNSTAR: What? You mean he was setting me up for a certain failure? Forget about this thing, then.

HOMESTAR: Well, since you have nothing to do...

FUNSTAR: No. I'm not going to that stupid memorial.

HOMESTAR: But-

FUNSTAR: No.

HOMESTAR: But-

FUNSTAR: NO! Now, go away and leave me alone.

HOMESTAR: {sadly} Well, if that's how you feel, I'll go to the ceremony alone.

FUNSTAR: What about Pom Pom? Or Marzipan?

HOMESTAR: Pom Pom told me he'd rather eat goose organs and Marzipan said that she'll be too busy flowering.

FUNSTAR: OK, well, what about...Strong Sad?! He was on your side in the war. And Homsar.

HOMESTAR: They're going to be playing board games today.

FUNSTAR: {sighs} OK, OK, fine. But only because I'm not good at thinking of excuses.

HOMESTAR: Yay!

FUNSTAR: When will it start.

HOMESTAR: {looks at "watch"} Hmm, a quarter to...now.

FUNSTAR: What?! You're late for a memorial that you set up and was originally going to be the only one at?

HOMESTAR: Well, pretty much, yeah.

FUNSTAR: {sighs} Let's just go before I commit suicide.

HOMESTAR: You got it!

{Cut to a street. Homestar and Funstar are walking down it.}

HOMESTAR: {singing} Come to the place where tropical breezes blow!

FUNSTAR: Homestar, why are you singing the Strong Badia National Anthem if they're the ones who caused Bennedetto to die?

HOMESTAR: It's just a catchy song. {singing} Come to the coolest place I know.

FUNSTAR: Just keep on walking, Funstar. It'll be over before you know it.

{Cut to The Stick.}

HOMESTAR: {singing} Population... Ti-i-i-ire...

FUNSTAR: Thank gosh that's over.

{Homestar takes the soapbox off the ground to reveal a pile of dirt.}

FUNSTAR: You...buried him?

HOMESTAR: Of course. Why wouldn't I?

FUNSTAR: Because that's a POPCORN MACHINE!

HOMESTAR: Hey, don't call Bennedetto those things! His spirit will hear you.

FUNSTAR: Spirit?! That's the stupidest thing I ever-

{Suddenly a giant pile of popcorn falls on Funstar from the sky, knocking him offscreen.}

HOMESTAR: Told you.

{Funstar gets up from offscreen and spits some popcorn out of his mouth.}

FUNSTAR: Ugh, I hate caramel! Just get on with the memorial, please.

HOMESTAR: OK, then. Ahem. {pauses}

FUNSTAR: {rolls his eyes} Uh, what are you doing?

HOMESTAR: Shhh. I'm meditating.

FUNSTAR: No, you aren't! Now, get on with this so I can feed Da Trick!

HOMESTAR: Fine, then. Rushy. Let's do this. F'real.

FUNSTAR: OK, then.

{Homestar who takes out a blank book.}

HOMESTAR: We are gathered here today to remember the great soldiers that fought in the war of Strong Badia.

FUNSTAR: It wasn't a war.

HOMESTAR: Oh, right! The battle of Strong Badia.

{Funstar sighs.}

HOMESTAR: One of our brave soldiers, however, didn't get to live to tell his family what a good job he did. And that soldier was this guy. {points to the pile of dirt}

FUNSTAR: That's great and all, but does that thing even have a family.

HOMESTAR: Of course he does! Mrs. Bennedetto and the Bennedettets.

FUNSTAR: The Bennedettets?

HOMESTAR: Yeah, these guys. {holds up two bags of popcorn}

FUNSTAR: Of course.

HOMESTAR: Anyway, I just want to say one last thing before we depart from this unforgettable memorial service.

FUNSTAR: Finally.

HOMESTAR: We-

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Are idiots!

HOMESTAR: {surprised} Strong Bad?

FUNSTAR: {embarrassed} Strong Bad?

STRONG BAD: Yeah, it's me. My stupid little brother told me about this memorial service and I couldn't help but come here to laugh in your face!

HOMESTAR: Do that as you must, but remember that Bennedetto is watching.

STRONG BAD: {laughs} Oh, I'll be careful!

{Strong Bad steps on the pile of dirt as hard as he can.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, clumsy me!

HOMESTAR: Strong Bad, watch it.

FUNSTAR: Yeah, so I can get out of here!

STRONG BAD: Oh, you're here, too! How great! {takes out a camera} I can't wait to put this on the internet!

FUNSTAR: Oh, darn it!

{Strong Bad takes a picture of Funstar and Homestar then laughs.}

STRONG BAD: That's what you get for messing with Strong Badia in the first place! Now, for real business.

{Strong Bad takes out his BMW Lighter.}

HOMESTAR: {gasps} You wouldn't!

STRONG BAD: Watch me.

{Strong Bad moves his BMW Lighter closer to the pile of sand.}

HOMESTAR: Don't!

{Strong Bad moves it to right in front of the pile of sand.}

HOMESTAR: Oh no.

{The place starts to shake, causing the BMW Lighter to fall out of Strong Bad's hand. The Stick seems to start to releasing popcorn very quickly.}

STRONG BAD: {screams} I'm outta here!

FUNSTAR: What's happenning?!

HOMESTAR: Bennedetto's spirit is angry and is causing bad things to happen. We will have to leave before Free Country floods with popcorn.

FUNSTAR: What? Oh, great! This is all your fault! If you didn't set up this memorial in the first place, this never would've happened! Now, we have to flee the city!

{Zoom out to show that Homestar is gone. Funstar sighs, then runs offscreen.}

{Cut to Funstar Player's house.}

FUNSTAR: Da Trick! We're leaving!

{Funstar goes to the computer.}

FUNSTAR: Well, person that emailed me before, I'm going away for a while, so I guess I can't race you. Too bad. {smiles}

> Click here to e-mail Funstar Player

funplay12@jcmail.com

Easter Eggs

• Click on "race" to see a scene at the race track.

COACH Z: {on the phone} Sorry that Funstar couldn't race you. But, it's roining popcorns! Maybe next time.

Fun Facts

• The first email is reference to army.
• The second email is a reference to race.
• This email was made around memorial day, so that is why it is centered around a memorial service by Homestar.
• The song Homestar sang is from flag day.
• The spirit of an inanimate object thing is borrowed from ghosts.
• This marks another appearance of the BMW Lighter