Fake Character Email Funstar Player/da trick

Summary

In this extrordinary 10th email, Funstar looks for Da Trick, while The King of Town looks for some cookies.

Cast (in order of appearance): Funstar Player, Da Trick, The King of Town, Pom Pom, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Coach Z, Bubs(Easter egg)

Places: Funstar Player's Computer Room, The King of Town's Castle, Strong Bad's House, The Stone Bridge, Bubs' Concession Stand(Easter egg)

Date: May 17, 2008

Transcript

FUNSTAR: {sighs} I don't feel like checking email today. It's dog day and Da Trick isn't here with me to celebrate it. Oh well.

subject:Your Dog

Dear Funstar,
What ever happened to that dog you used to have? The Cheat-like one.
Ever-lovingly,
Dr. Miles

FUNSTAR: Oh no. Not you. You must be suspicious that Da Trick hasn't come to your appointment. Well, listen here, lady, I don't have Da Trick. No, he didn't run away. Again. He got-dun dun dun-kidnapped!

{Cut to Funstar Player's bathroom in flashback form. Funstar is setting up the bathtub.}

FUNSTAR: {voiceover} It all started 6½ emails ago. Or, as, I like to call it, The Lost Not-Quite-Email. I was getting the bath ready, when suddenly I heard a crash.

{A crash is heard, which startles Funstar so much, he falls into the bathtub.}

FUNSTAR: {voiceover} Oh, I should have taken off that part.

{Funstar run down the stairs wet. He slips and falls offscreen. A crash is heard.}

FUNSTAR: {voiceover} That one, too.

{Funstar looks at Da Trick's usual spot and sees a note instead.}

FUNSTAR: What's this?

{Funstar takes out the note and reads it. It says: "Dear Funster, I has yer dog. Meet me at Stone Bridge @9:00AM on any day you want to get him back."}

FUNSTAR: Geez, whoever wrote this has terrible spelling and grammar. I'm not going to Stone Bridge. That place makes me sick, literally. I'm going to miss Da Trick, though. We've had great times.

{Cut to another flashback scene. Funstar is playing ball with Da Trick. Da Trick catches it with his mouth, popping it. Funstar is silent for a moment, then bursts out laughing. Da Trick joins in.}

FUNSTAR: You have some pretty strong teeth now. I remember when I first met you. You didn't have such strong teeth.

{Cut to another flashback scene. A young Funstar takes Da Trick in as a puppy.}

FUNSTAR: Yay, my own dog! We're going to have so much fun! Just like I did with the bird before that accident.

{Cut to another flashback scene. A younger Funstar is holding a bird in his hand. The bird flies out of his hand the gets electrocuted by the ceiling light.}

FUNSTAR: Oh no! He's dead! I remember when I first met you.

{It's about to cut to another flashback scene when the present-day Funstar interrupts from the computer room.}

FUNSTAR: Oh, will you stop it! Geez, I want a flashback of how Da Trick went missing and then about 5 more sub-flashbacks come. That's why I don't do these things a lot. Anyway, I really miss Da Trick now, so I decided to get him back. Even if it means going to {gulps} Stone Bridge. I can't celebrate dog day without my dog. But who would take him? {thinks} I've got it!

{Cut to The King of Town's Castle. The King is watching a show on television.}

KING OF TOWN: Wow! Who ever knew dogs were eatable? I only thought the hot kind was. Man, these dog day educational specials are great!

{The King of Town starts flipping through various channels. Cut to a view of the TV. Various things pop up until The KoT stops at one channel in which Pom Pom appears with the Trivia Time cookie jar.}

UNSEEN NEWS GUY: And you say this thing used to be a real dog?

POM POM: {bubbles and nods his head}

UNSEEN NEWS GUY: Well, this is a great time to show us this! Who ever knew a jar of cookies was once a real dog!

{Cut back to a view of The King of Town.}

KING OF TOWN: C-cookies? Dog? I'm outta here!

{The King of Town runs offscreen.}

{Cut to Strong Bad's house. He and The Cheat are laying on the couch watching TV.}

STRONG BAD: {sighs} It's all Greek to me.

THE CHEAT: {agreeing Cheat noises}

{Funstar kicks the door open.}

STRONG BAD: Hey, that door cost Strong Sad $180! What are you doing here, anyway?

FUNSTAR: Oh, be quiet! You know why I'm here! I actually care about my pets.

STRONG BAD: What are you talking about? I treat The Cheat great! Right.

THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: What do you mean "Excluding all those times you kicked me, eh"? You love me! Right?

THE CHEAT: {unsure Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: You like Strong Mad better? Why I aughta {raises foot}

FUNSTAR: Oh, will you two stop?! Anyway, Da Trick is missing and I think you two have something to do with it!

STRONG BAD: Us? Steal your dog? Why would we want to do that?

FUNSTAR: Face it. The Cheat hates him and would do anything to get rid of him. I bet you helped him because you were bored!

STRONG BAD: I know I don't care about you or your stupid dog, but I don't want his fleas in my house!

FUNSTAR: But The Cheat is full of fleas!

STRONG BAD: I said I don't want Da Trick's fleas in here.

FUNSTAR: {sighs} Whatever. I'll go look somewhere else for him. I have to find out who wrote that note!

STRONG BAD: What note?

FUNSTAR: This one.

{Funstar takes the note out of his shirt pocket and gives it to Strong Bad. Strong Bad reads over the note and laughs.}

STRONG BAD: You actually thought that a person with spelling and grammar this bad would be me? Having a dog around the house has made you stupid!

{Strong Bad and The Cheat fall on the ground laughing.}

FUNSTAR: Whatever. By the way, why are those people in that show speaking Greek?

STRONG BAD: I played with the language chooser. Get out. Now.

{Funstar leaves and Strong Bad and The Cheat get back on the couch.}

{Cut to The King of Town's castle. The King of Town comes inside with the Trivia Time cookie jar in his hands.}

KING OF TOWN: This is going to be the best dog day ever!

{The King of Town opens the jar and a bunch of foam snakes pops out.}

KING OF TOWN: Oh no! It's actually April Fools day!

{The King of Town falls to the ground, unconscious and with foam snakes all around him. Pom Pom walks inside with the real Trivia Time cookie jar. He bubbles in laughter.}

{Cut to Funstar Player's house. Funstar is on the ground with the note in his hand.}

FUNSTAR: Oh man. I'll never find Da Trick. I might as well give up.

{Suddenly, a miniature Da Trick appears on a cloud next to Funstar.}

FUNSTAR: Da Trick! You're OK.

DA TRICK?: I'm not the real Da Trick. I'm a figment of your imagination.

FUNSTAR: Oh. Stupid imagination.

DA TRICK?: I'm here to tell you that instead of whining, you could be at Stony Bridge with a chance of getting Da Trick back.

FUNSTAR: But it's far away! I'll get sick! I don't know who I'll meet!

DA TRICK?: {angrily} I told you to stop whining!

FUNSTAR: Yes, sir.

DA TRICK?: Now, if you want Da Trick back, go to Stone Bridge. If you don't, stay here and sob. Now, what's your choice.

FUNSTAR: {mumbling} I want Da Trick back.

DA TRICK?: What was that?

FUNSTAR: {normal} I want Da Trick back.

DA TRICK?: Say it again?

FUNSTAR: {yelling} I want Da Trick back!

DA TRICK?: Great. Now, go away. You have only 5 minutes to get there.

FUNSTAR: 5 minutes? Uh, would you mind bringing me their on your cloud?

DA TRICK?: Uh, what part of "figment of your imagination" do you not understand?

FUNSTAR: Darn! I guess I'll be going, then.

DA TRICK?: That's the spirit! {disappears}

{Funstar Player runs out of the house.}

{Cut to The King of Town's castle. Pom Pom is tied up to a chair and The King of Town has the Trivia Time cookie jar in his hand.}

KING OF TOWN: OK, now before I eat this "dog", tell me. Why did you want it so much that you stole it from Marzipan?

POM POM: {angry bubble noises}

KING OF TOWN: I know I did it, too, but I'm the king. I get to do whatever I want. Anyway, how did you know that this was your dog?

POM POM: {annoyed bubble noises}

KING OF TOWN: You saw it yourself? How did he get turned into s cookie jar?

POM POM: {bubble noises}

KING OF TOWN: You forgot?

POM POM: {bubble noises}

KING OF TOWN: You were in a knife fight for Trivia Time, but lost?

POM POM: {bubble noises}

KING OF TOWN: Then you witnessed the making of the cookie jar from Trivia Time at Bubs' Concession Stand? Whoa, you had it hard for this. You deserve it more than I do!

{The Kind of Town unties Pom Pom and gives him back the cookie jar.}

KING OF TOWN: Now, can I have one little cookie as a thanks for unting you?

{Pom Pom gets angry and kicks The King of Town offscreen.}

{Cut to The Stone Bridge. Funstar walks in with Strong Bad and The Cheat.}

FUNSTAR: Thanks for driving me here on your new car!

STRONG BAD: No problem. I always love a good knife fight.

THE CHEAT: {agreeing Cheat noises}

FUNSTAR: Knife fight? What are you talking about?

{Suddenly, a guy in a trenchcoat comes on the Stone Bridge. His face is hidden. He speaks in a low voice.}

GUY: I see you've made it.

FUNSTAR: {nervous} Y-yeah.

GUY: Well, I guess we can {coughs, then in Coach Z's voice} battle it out!

FUNSTAR AND STRONG BAD: Coach Z. THE CHEAT: {questionable Cheat noises, simultaneously}

COACH Z: {takes off trenchcoat} Yes, I just had a spit bubble stork in my throat. Hate those things.

FUNSTAR: Uh, OK, what the heck are you doing, stealing Da Trick and asking me to come here?

COACH Z: I'm doing the same thing I doird last dog day. Getting a dog for a sale Bubs has.

FUNSTAR: Working for Bubs? I thought he hated your guts.

COACH Z: Whort er you torkin' a-Oh! You mean form the perade. We settled our difforences.

FUNSTAR: OK, but why do you want my dog?

COACH Z: We making cookie jors!

FUNSTAR: Cookie jars? Who would want to make that from a do-Trivia Time.

COACH Z: Yorp, he was our last victorm.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, Coach Z and Pom Pom had that knife fight and Coach Z beat him bad. If he can defeat Pom Pom...you better pray for your life, Funstar.

FUNSTAR: Thanks for the support.

STRONG BAD: I mean, you're going to lose that dog.

FUNSTAR: Oh, will you leave me alone.

COACH Z: I agree with Strong here. You will not win!

FUNSTAR: Will you just tell me where Da Trick is?

COACH Z: Oh, he's at Bubsy's. If you wornt to get dere, though, you'll have to go through me! And you do that, you'll haveta knife fight me!

FUNSTAR: Fine. Give me the knife.

{Coach Z throws Funstar a knife and takes out his own. He starts moving left anf right.}

FUNSTAR: Dude can you stay still. You're making me dizzy.

STRONG BAD: Hit him with the knife!

COACH Z: Or are ya chicken!

FUNSTAR: I'm not joking. Stop!

COACH Z: Not until you fight!

FUNSTAR: {turning green} Oh. Oh. Oh.

{Fade to a screen that says "One disgusting hurl later". Fade back. Coach Z is covered in vomit and he drops the knife.}

FUNSTAR: {soft} I'm just gonna go now.

STRONG BAD: What? Where's the fight? He pukes once and you give up?! You guys stink! Let's go, The Cheat.

THE CHEAT: {Cheat noise, then follows Strong Bad}

{Cut to Funstar's computer room.}

FUNSTAR: Well, Mrs. Miles, I know where Da Trick is, now. About to become a cookie jar. I'll go get him from the concession stand then send him to you.

> Click here to e-mail Funstar Player

funplay12@jcmail.com

Easter Eggs

• Click on "Dr. Miles" in the email to see a picture of her with her signature in the bottom left corner.

• Click on "concession stand" to see a scene at Bubs' Concession Stand.

{Funstar walks to Bubs' Concession Stand.}

FUNSTAR: Alright, Bubs, cough up Da Trick.

BUBS: I have no idea what you're talking about.

FUNSTAR: Cut the act. Coach Z already told me everything.

BUBS: {mumbling} I'm firing that coach.

{Bubs give Funstar Da Trick, who is frozen. The second Funstar touches him, the ice melts.}

DA TRICK: {happy Da Trick noises}

FUNSTAR: It was nice doing business with ya, Bubs.

BUBS: {reluctant} Same here.

Fun Facts

• Funstar talked about a not-quite email in spaceship, but the author didn't have a good idea for it, so decided to scrap the idea.
• Funstar used to have a bird.
• The King of Town also wanted to eat dogs in rated.
• Trivia Time did used to be Pom Pom's dog but then he only appeared in toons as a cookie jar in Marzipan's kitchen, hinting that she bought it from Bubs.
• The Cheat references how Strong Bad sometimes kicks him.
• "The knife fight" which is mentioned throughout the email is from personal favorites.
• Pom Pom kicked Strong Bad offscreen in pom pom.
• Coach Z's voice getting deeper because of a spit bubble in his throat is a reference to Lappynapped.
• The parade Coach Z mentions is from Fall Float Parade.
• Funstar pukes.
• This is the first email to go over 100 lines.