(even if you aren't vegan)
Everything You Know Is Wrong/Everything You Know Is Wrong Movie
Contents
Synopsis
Sephiroth directs a movie in which a Troll army rises up and everybody tries to stop them. Idiocy ensues.
Transcript
Intro
{Blackadder theme music is playing.}
"You've seen the show. Now, here's the movie!"
{The Screen pans to different pictures of famous events, with the main cast's heads pasted on the bodies of the people.}
"Moonstar Productions presents: A movie."
Director: Sephiroth .J. Bloo {OOC:Bloo is my real last name. DON'T LAUGH!}
Co-Director: Noxigar
STARRING:
SEPHIROTH, NOXIGAR, COW PUNCHER, SAM THE MAN, CYRUS, NAMINE, ROXAS, and more people!
And Now for the Movie.
{12 Dark Figures are on top of a spire, looking down at the wiki community.}
SHADOW 1: Should we strike now? Or later?
SHADOW 4: CYRUS STOLE MY COW!!312324313424
SHADOW 1: No right now NSMC impostor.
SHADOW 3: I think we should do it now! .....ON WHEELS!!
SHADOW 8: Shut Up.
SHADOW 2: Look at my transformations!!! {Transforms into Chris Griffin}
SHADOW 3: We know of them already Stewie!
SHADOW 1: You know what? Let's strike now.
{Cut to a living room, with Cyrus, Noxigar, and Cow Puncher. They are watching TV.}
COW PUNCHER: I'M BORED!!!
NOXIGAR: At least nothing horrid is going on. I has the Chaos Emeralds stored in my refrigerator so they don't scatter.
CYRUS: Yeah. True.
COW: LETS PLAY VIDEOGAMES!!
CYRUS: Okay! {Plugs PSWii360 into TV.}
{Rumbling is heard.}
CYRUS: What's that?
NOXIGAR: I better check the kitchen.
{Noxigar enters the kitchen to reveal a large pizza growing from the oven.}
NOXIGAR: The Digorino's mutated on me!
{Noxigar sees that a shadowy figure heads for the fridge, opening it.}
NOXIGAR: Hey, get outta there!
CYRUS: I'll stop him!
{Runs towards the Figure, but gets captured by Stewie.}
STEWIE: No way you are gonna win this time!
NOXIGAR: Those are MY Chaos Emeralds. Don't you touch them!
{Noxigar transforms into Darth Vader and uses the Darth Vader choke on Stewie.}
{Stewie turns into a Wasp, and Flies away, turning into Conker the Squirrel.}
CYRUS: We should call up more users.
COW: Agreed.
{Whilst the Users are looking at Stewie, another troll sneaks, and steals one of the Chaos Emeralds, it colored red, and leaves.}
COW: Wait.. {Looks behind.} NOXI!! ONE OF YOUR EMERALDS ARE GONE!!
NOXIGAR: O DER! Wait, the Red one's gone. Perhaps it's in one of those special stages. If it's not in a cold setting and you have 'em for far too long, they go into Special Stages. Now I need to find a Starpost and recover it. That, or trace the location of whoever stole it.
{Sephiroth runs in on fire}
SEPHIROTH: HOLYCRAPNSMCHASHOTLAZERBLASTSMYBUTTISBURNINGBAD!!!
CYRUS: Whoa. Calm down. {Puts the flame out.}
SEPHIROTH: Thanks. {Gets out a bottle of Root Beer.} Oh yeah, Noxi, I got your emerald back. Captain Weirdo had it. {Gives.}
{News report flashes on TV.}
TV: Tonight, with Action News With Sam, We Investigate a troll attack. Here, Homestar Tiger will speak of the attacks. On to you, Tiger.
{Cut to HST, who is now a chair. "OOC: Sorry, but in my continuity HST is a chair. -Noxic Gas"}
HST: Thank you Sam. The Wiki is in crisis, as many trolls from the past have come back for revenge. Reported Trolls seen are:
The Stewie Troll, The NSMC Troll, Willy on Wheels, Captain Weirdo, Shut Up, and many more.
SAM: Thank you Tiger.
{Cut back to the living room}
SEPHIROTH: CHAOS!!!!
CYRUS: Calm Down.
COW: We need some kind of cunning plan...
NOXIGAR: We need toast and paint.
SEPHIROTH: Toast Paint?
COW: Uhh... No. We need to got to Candy Land! Vandals hate candy!
NOXIGAR: I'm bringing my chair, too.
{Noxigar brings the HST chair. Zoom out to realize that they're in a van.}
NOXIGAR: Let's drive this mobile!
{Noxigar drives, his sleeves "holding" the steering wheel, sitting on the HST chair.}
{Cuts to the boat dock. Everyone gets out of the car. Sam The Man is standing there}
SEPHIROTH: SAM! WATCH OUT!
{A Troll comes charging behind him.}
SAM THE MAN: I have 10 tickets to Candy Island, AKA Candy Land.
{Noxigar holds up his Red Chaos emerald in his hands.}
NOXIGAR: CHAOS CONTROL!
{Noxigar speedily kicks the troll behind Sam the Man into the water}
NOXIGAR: There we go. Now let's place this device on the fridge.
{Noxigar heads back, turns the van into a boat, and places the red Chaos Emerald in the fridge}
SAM THE MAN: Now, let's got to Candy Land!
SEPHIROTH: CANDY ISLAND? No. We need to find an admin.... But where?
CYRUS: THE IRC CHANNEL!
SEPHIROTH: Perfect!
SAM THE MAN: TO THE IRC!!!!!!
SEPHIROTH: But this Car won't get us there. We need a Helicopter!
NOXIGAR: It's a convertible. It can turn into an airplane and a boat.
VOICE: I know where...
SAM THE MAN: Who are you?
VOICE: Me, I'm...
{Drive-Thru Whale emerges}
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Drive-Thru Whale! I have a Helicopter!
SEPHIROTH: But we've got a plane.
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Eat my butt loser.
SEPHIROTH: WHAT!?
{Drive-Thru Whale turns into a Troll}
STEWIE: HA HA HA!! {Shoots Car. It Asplodes.}
SAM THE MAN: Noooooooooooooooooooooo! Go back to Family Guy!
{Sam The Man pulls out a Vaporizing Gun. He vaporizes Stewie}
{Stewie Comes Back.} Only an admin can block me stupid! {Defaces the Docks.}
SAM THE MAN: Oh @#$@!*&%$! I'll do this. With Red Button Power.
{He pushes a red button. Shwoo pops up}
SHWOO: I am Shwoo! On Whe-
SEPHIROTH: Wht was that?
SHWOO: Er... Nothing.
SEPHIROTH: Well, block all these trolls!
SHWOO: I can't! Somehow, the trolls locked into the mainframe and neutralized our powers! ....Yeah. That's the reason!
SEPHIROTH: Are you Ok?
SHWOO: Sure! Not a care in the world! I'm on wheels!
SAM THE MAN: It's Willy On Wheels!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
NOXIGAR: Here. Let me do this.
{Noxigar summons Homestar who makes out with Shwoo}
SAM THE MAN: Eegghhhh. That's weird man. Just weird.
{Marzipan Appears}
MARZIPAN: Homestar Michael Runner! What are you doing.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ohhh, Uhh, It was Shwoo's fualt.
WOW: Eww! Gross! {Runs Away.}
SEPHIROTH: DARN! Now how do we get to the Irc?
VOICE: Maybe I have a way!
{Reveal to see that the user who said that was a new user named Flashheart}
FLASH: I am a skilled pilot!
SEPHIROTH: How can we trust you!
FLASH: Cause' you can! Check out my Machinary! {He Points to a WWI Air Plane.}
{HSR and Marzipan re still arguing.}
COW: I think...he...zapped...me...with...his...VANDAL RAY!!!
{Cow turns into NSMC} doing.
COW: N STOLE MY COW!!!!!!!!!!!325682132
SAM THE MAN: I'll save you Cow Puncher!
{Sam The Man pulls out his De-Vandal Ray. But it's out of batteries}
SEPHIROTH: Sorry bout' this. {Traps cow in a cage.} NOW LETS GO!
{They all hop on Flashheart's Plane}
SAM THE MAN: Uhh, guys.
ALL: What?
SAM THE MAN: They have Flying Motercycles!
COW: Septh locked up my cow! GET HIM!
{Cow goes Super Sayn}
NOT MEANWHILE
FLASH: That's no problem for us! {Activates Shield.}
{The Plane Takes off.}
{Noxigar is on the van-plane, which merges with the flying motorcycles}
NOXIGAR: This van-plane has its own garage! Behold, my Floating Ziggurat!
SAM THE MAN: It's time for Action News. Let's watch my newest production.
FLASH: That's one mighty plane!
SEPHIROTH: Let's interview Flash here!
{Cow is one one of the motercycles}
COW: Thats the guy! Willy, Plan 5.60007
FLASH: Darn! That gal is crazy!
SAM THE MAN: Let's Start. Flash, what's it like being a new user?
FLASH: It's nice, but there's not enough girls! YEAH! {Does Pelvic Thrust.}
COW:HAHA, Invade the TV!
{Haha appiers in the TV. All tv goes dead}
CYRUS: DANGIT! I want more lines!
FLASH: Steady Fella! We've reached the IRC!
ALL: YAY!!
{Only vandals are on the IRC}
</Stewie:> Glad you can join us!
</Wow:> We can take all you on!
SEPHIROTH punches Wow.
</Cow Puncher:> LOLOLOLOL U STOLE MAH COW, SEPTH!
</Flashheart<3:> I can take you on Cow Puncher! Hey Beautiful!
</Sephiroth:> Stop Flirting!
</Stewie:> GET A ROOM!
</Cow:> Vandals, get him! {Haha, WOW, Stewie, and SHUT UP! catch Septh}
</Flashheart<3:> Oh No!
FLASHHEART gets Sephiroth and runs.
HAHA uses his powers to make FLASHHEART stop.
SEPHIROTH Beats Flashheart up, then kickbans him.
SEPHIROTH AND FLASHHEART Leave.
{Meanwhile, at the Abandoned FOTW Tower.}
{All the Sysops are tied up}
JOSHUA: You'll never get away with this!
SHADOWY FIGURE: Or will I?
SHWOO: Just give up!
SHADOWY FIGURE: How bout.... No?
{The shadowy figure steps out, only to be a 16 year old boy, with blonde hair, and a keyblade.}
ROXAS: HAHAHAHA!!! Soon, Noxigar, I will have my revenge!
COW: Master, I have Septh you've wanted.
ROXAS: That's a puppet you fool! Sephiroth left with Flash and the others! YOU ARE WORTHLESS AS A MINION! BEGONE!
{He points his keyblade at Cow. She gets tied up, just like the sysops.}
SUPER SAM: I'm thirsty. Good thing I have this Aldi Soda! {Gets one of his arms free and gets out an Aldi Soda.}
SHWOO: YOU'VE HAD DRINK THE WHOLE TIME!?
SUPER SAM: YEP!
JOSHUA: Give us some! We're thirsty too!
SUPER SAM: No! {Makes growling noises, and drinks the soda.}
EKUL: We're DOOMED!!
{Cut back to the studio with Sam The Man and Homestar Tiger.}
STM: Good thing we're safe here!
HST: Yeah! NOW TURN ME BACK!! It's unpleasant having people fart on me.
{Noxigar arrives}
NOXIGAR: Only one vandal left...
{Noxigar is surprised to see Roxas.}
ROXAS: Surprised to see me? I don't just go to Disney Land you know.
NOXIGAR: I didn't think that you of all vandals would survive. You cheaply attack my brethren and slaughtered them one by one. Axel was foolish to have trusted you...
ROXAS: Well, he did. And that's why I'm still alive.
NOXIGAR: And Namine is animating all of this, you know. She could have you killed in a second! I know for a fact that she's indifferent towards you. Namine's our No. 14, because she said so. Now to make a Xakiri and we have 3 actual members.
{Roxas charges, but Noxigar creates mirror images of himself.}
NOXIGAR: Well, traitor... can you identify which one is real, you stupid little pest?
{Cow breaks free of the rope}
COW: HAHA! The vandals are back, BABY! YOU GUYS STOLL MY COW!221144354152645314
{Some of the Noxigar mirror images are beating Cow Puncher up.}
COW: WOW, plan 1.90!
WOW: ON WHEALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! {Runs over mirror images}
{Noxigar is making a De-Vandal Ray that has a Solarbeam effect.}
NOXIGAR: While you were carving Space Tree into a Roxas-shaped statue, I was making a De-Vandal ray. Cow Puncher, kill Roxas... on wheels.
ROXAS: My feet are not on wheels, imbecile.
NOXIGAR: Silence, traitor. Dance water dance!
{Noxigar shoots the De-Vandal Ray at Cow Puncher. Then, several water elementals pop up, and Noxigar is strumming, "Welcome to the Jungle" on Demyx's sitar.}
NOXIGAR: {singing} Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games!
{Sephiroth and Flash come in}
SEPHIROTH: COOL! A battle! Whadduimiss?
ROXAS: Not Much, but you and your friend are about to witness your friends downfall.
SUPER SAM: I GOT AN EXTRA SODA!!
THE REST OF THE ADMINS: GIVE US IT!!
SUPER SAM: No!
{Sephiroth takes the Soda and drinks it.}
SEPHIROTH: Just what I need!
SUPER SAM: Wah!!
ROXAS: Stewie! Seize him!
{Stewie and Sephiroth draw swords.}
SEPHIROTH: Sword match eh?
STEWIE: Looks like it.
{Stewie and Sephiroth's Swords clash, until Stewie Charges at Sephiroth with one. Sephiroth cuts it off.}
SEPHIROTH: Give Up! I cut your arm off!
STEWIE: I've got another one. {Picks up sword. They fight again. Sephiroth cuts that arm off too.}
SEPHIROTH: Yes! I win! I win! I- {Gets Kicked by Stewie}
STEWIE: Come on!! Have atcha!
SEPHIROTH: You silly jerk! You've got no arms left!
STEWIE: Yes I 'ave. It's just a flesh wound. Now come on! {Starts kicking Sephiroth.} CHICKEN! CHICKEN!! {Sephiroth cuts tht leg off.}
SEPHIROTH: Just give up!
STEWIE: NEVER! I'm invincible! {Sephiroth Cuts Stewie's last leg off.}
STEWIE: We'll call it draw then.
{Sephiroth leaves.}
STEWIE: Come back here! I'll bite you to death!
ROXAS: Typical.
COW PUNCHER: Yay, I'm back to normal!
{Noxigar is still strumming on Demyx's sitar. He strums the background music of Final Rush from Sonic Adventure 2 this time. More water elementals start to appear.}
NOXIGAR: Ensure Roxas' downfall! Then I can use his Keyblades to make a Xakiri Organization XIII member! Then Namine won't have to be alone!
{Cut to Namine, who is drawing Noxigar stomping on Roxas.}
NAMINE: You know I'm being figurative, right viewers? As a matter of fact, I'm turning Roxas and Noxigar's catfight into one of those Chicken versus Peter Griffin style fights for the sake of the silliness of Noxigar's show!
{Sephiroth pokes in and takes the drawing book. He draws a goatee on Roxas, and Also gives him a mono-brow. He gives the Sketchbook back. And Leaves.}
{Cut back to the battle.}
SEPHIROTH: While Roxas and Noxigar are fighting, it's time for a song!
{He grabs a fruit hat and Sitar, and Starts singing.}
SEPHIROTH: They call me Cuban Pete,
I'm the king of the Rumba beat,
When I play the Maracas I go
Chick chicky boom
Chick chicky boom
Yes, sir, I'm Cuban Pete
I'm the craze, of my native street
When I start to dance, everything goes
Chick chicky boom
Chick chicky boom!
{He Bows, and a bunch of roses are thrown at him.}
SEPHIROTH: Thank you! Thank you!
{Cut to Namine, who draws Noxigar doing the same exact thing, singing the exact same lyrics. For some unexplained reason, she places lipstick on the page with Noxigar, and laughs at Sephiroth's page.}
NAMINE: Alright, now for the Family Guy battle to ensure the silliness of the movie.
{Cut to Roxas, who is now wearing a Chicken suit, and Noxigar, who now has lipstick smeared all over him and glasses.}
NOXIGAR: O DER!
{Roxas laughs. Noxigar punches Roxas in the gut and kicks him. Roxas falls and lands on a wall, as Sephiroth activates a gravity switch.}
NOXIGAR: What's the matter Roxas? Chicken? Well Colonel Sanders is waiting for you.
{Sephiroth dresses as a Banana.}
SEPHIROTH: PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!
{Roxas looks at Sephiroth Weirdly. Then Noxigar comes and Kicks him. He gets back up, and they keep fighting. Roxas then uses two keyblades and barrages Noxigar repeatedly.}
ROXAS: Come on, Noxigar. I'm sparing you. You'll be nothing instead of nobody, and this curse will be over for you.
NOXIGAR: {coughing blood in between words} I...refuse...to...surrender... to the likes of... you...
{Noxigar uses his staff to recover a bit of the damage. Cut to Namine again.}
NAMINE: Dang, I forgot Roxas was physically stronger than Noxigar. By the way, I'm always their ticket out of sticky situations.
{Chwoka pops up}
CHWOKA: You mean a deus ex machina?
NAMINE: What you say?
CHWOKA: Are you a "God Out of the Machine"?
NAMINE: If you're referring to what I'm referring to, then yes.
CHWOKA: Wait, I have to go... upgrade the Tasering Gnomes Server for Im a bell.
{Chwoka runs offscreen. Namine runs out of ink as soon as she goes back to sketching.}
NAMINE: Crap, I'm outta ink! Let's see... where do I keep my markers?
{OOC: Namine is out of ink. Don't cut to anyone else.}
GOOFY: You could use a pencil. Hyuk! {Gives Namine a Pencil.}
NAMINE: They get too short too quickly, though! I have to sharpen them constantly.
GOOFY: Well, uh, I don't know what to say, then.
COW: Here, have a VANDAL PEN!
NAMINE: Thanks?
{Namine tries to use the vandal pen on the sketchbook, but the pen is out of ink. She throws the vandal pen in the garbage.}
NAMINE: Let me go get the markers. DiZ keeps an infinite supply for times like this.
{Namine heads towards DiZ's office.}
DiZ: Uh... hi?
NAMINE: I ran out of ink.
DiZ: First time, huh? I told you that it's good to keep an infinite supply of markers. {DiZ opens up a desk drawer and takes out a marker}
NAMINE: Thanks.
DiZ: No problem.
NAMINE: I better get to getting to the climax.
{Namine heads over to her room and sits on a sofa. She gets out her sketchbook again and draws in it. Cut to Roxas and Noxigar fighting.}
ROXAS: Darn. Where were we?
NOXIGAR: I was coughing blood.
ROXAS: Oh yeah.
{NSMC Bursts in.}
NSMC: HOLD UP! I'm running the show now! {Pushes Roxas aside.}
ROXAS: You.. Betrayed me!
NSMC: I WAS NEVER ON YOUR SIDE! I DON'T PICK SIDES! I work alone. I am going to rule the wiki now.
SEPHIROTH: Wha?
NSMC: I pretended to be with Roxas, so he would lead me to the Wiki again. I slipped undetected, along with the other trolls. I then planned my takeover. Now, it is time.
ROXAS: SILENCE!! {OOC: You figure out how NSMC Dies, Noxi. I'm outta ideas. Not you CP.}
SHUT UP: Sh//ut /u///p!!!!!!!!
{All the other trolls except Stewie, NSMC, and Roxas surrond Sephiroth.}
SEPHIROTH: QUICK! NOXIGAR! THROW ME THE CHAOS EMERALDS!
{Noxigar throws Sephiroth the Chaos Emeralds one by one in this order: Red, Blue, Green, White, Orange, Light Blue, and Purple. A dinging noise appears and everything freezes. Cut to Namine with her pizza from Pizza Hut. The King of Town pops up.}
KING OF TOWN: How's it goin'? Ooh! Is that a Meat Lover's pizza?
NAMINE: {swallows the pizza whole} Yup. But it's mine.
KING OF TOWN: That's too bad...
{Cut back to the battle}
{Sephiroth Grabs the Emeralds and a White Light Flashes. When the light fades, he looks different, as everything he's wearing turns white. He also has two keyblades of his own, The Dark Ember, and The Light Crystal. He then raises them in the air, and a black and white light engulfs the place.}
SEPHIROTH: FINAL CHAOS!!!!!!!!!
{A Big Explosion rises, and the trolls are all defeated. He then gives the Emeralds to Noxigar.}
ROXAS: I'm not dead yet! I can dance! I can sing!
{Starts to sing in a showtune style.}
ROXAS: I am not dead yet!
I can dance and I can sing
I am not dead yet
I can do the Highland Fling
I am not dead yet
No need to go to bed
No need to call the doctor
Cause I'm not yet dead!
NSMC: Neither am I! Now lets push aside the stupidity and get back to action!
{NSMC looks like he's been scribbled on after 5 seconds. Namine's head appears, as if it were a hologram.}
NAMINE: I am the Grim Reaper! NSMC, it's your time!
{NSMC falls as Namine draws a Dragoon Nobody stabbing him from behind.}
NSMC: {Starts to sing}
NSMC: Now the lights, she fade
And darkness settles in
But I will find strength
will find pride within
Because although I die
You Vermin' better start running...
Even though I die, my power lives on..
Ugh!
{Dies.}
SEPHIROTH: Why is this becoming a musical?
NAMINE: Because I'm bored. I periodically get a Meat Lover's pizza every 4 hours as a result of DiZ's monitoring, to ensure I don't starve. My drawings also keep me from being bored. For example, I could kill you off using Cloud, or I could instead play Shadow the Hedgheog. I has a PS3 you know.
SEPHIROTH: Dang. Cool. Do you have Ratchet and Clank? Oh yeah, tell Sora, I said hi. And tell him he still owes me 5000 Munny I lent him.
NAMINE: Sora's become a Pizza Hut manager. And which game, Seph? Anyways, I see Shadow in a level. Which one is he in?
SEPHIROTH: Rachet and Clank.
ROXAS: COME ON! I'm getting Old here!
SEPHIROTH: Just one sec!
{Namine turns on her PS3 and plays Shadow the Hedgehog, versus Sephiroth. It's a race. Apparently Homestar has joined in as well.}
NAMINE: Anyway, while Noxigar and Roxas attempt to brutally pummel each other, why don't we have a race through all of the levels in Shadow the Hedgehog, starting with Westopolis? Any mission is ours. We have to choose which mission each person does, though. I've fused this game with a bit of Ratchet and Clank, as Clank is the referee.
CLANK: What? Why am I a referee?
NAMINE: You're a secret agent, that's why.
CLANK: I'm not truly a secret agent. I just play a fictitious role in-
{Namine draws Clank wearing a dress, and programs Roxas and Noxigar and the rest of the crew in the odd videogame that is meant to be like Shadow the Hedgehog.}
SEPHIROTH: I'm gonna play as Sonic. You play as Shadow. And Homestar.. You play as a whatever you want to be.
HOMESTAR: Uh... I'll be evewyone else. Hooway fow Tails.
{Everyone is set so each person can do whichever mission they want. Cut to the Westopolis screen. The screen duplicates, showing Roxas and Noxigar racing each other while Namine, Sephiroth, and Homestar race.}
HOMESTAR: I get to select which mission we play as I'm a Homestaw Wunnew chawactew.
{Homestar has everyone kill 45 black creatures as their mission. The mission objective chart appears on Roxas and Noxigar's screen as well.}
NOXIGAR: Wait, where did everyone else go?
NAMINE: Don't worry, they've all been evacuated to a colloseum where they all watch!
SEPHIROTH: Wait a minute, you two can do that mission, but my mission is to kill Dr. Robotnik.
NAMINE: Homestar set the parameters. We do each mission he selects. In some levels, like Lethal Highway and Lava Shelter, Homestar won't be able to play in there as only 2 mission characters exist. It's only fair if Homestar chooses the mission.
SEPHIROTH: Fine! But I better be able to kill one major charcter.
NAMINE: After the last level, The Last Way, you can fight Diablon & Sonic, Egg Dealer, or Black Doom. Roxas and Noxigar battle each other in a chosen battlefield.
SEPHIROTH: Can you just mix in a little bit of Lego Star Wars Please too?
NAMINE: I've set the backgrounds of Digital Circuit and Mad Matrix to be lego-shaped. And Darth Vader replaces the Egg Breaker in that level, but Vader does a different, "You know what they say, the more the merrier!" attack.
SEPHIROTH: Ok! Looks like we have a game!
{Cut to the battle between Roxas and Noxigar. Luigi is there too.}
LUIGI: Thats Mama Luigi to you Mario!
{Namine draws Luigi to look like one of the enemies in the game. Roxas immediately attacks it, while Noxigar goes ahead and performs a Homing Attack on several GUN beetles, Chaos Blasting the area.}
{Luigi dodges and jumps on Roxas. He then jumps off a road and dies. Roxas goes to a nearby checkpoint and attempts to catch up with Noxigar.}
NAMINE: Random obstacles approach Roxas and Noxigar's point in the game. Also, in the Stages 1-5 they go through a goal ring, except in Central City, as there's no goal ring, and Roxas and Noxigar choose their mission in Central City. In Stage 6, Roxas does the Dark Mission while Noxigar does the Hero Mission. So, in Cosmic Fall, Noxigar has to find the computer room.
VECTOR: I found the computer room once with Homestar! It took me to the HRWiki!
NAMINE: I like quoting Shadow the Hedgehog, as well! I've downloaded a cutscene, even!
{A cutscene of Shadow and E-123 Omega in Lava Shelter appears."OOC: Quote the pre-Egg Dealer Hero cutscene from Lava Shelter."}
EGGMAN: It's nice to see you, Shadow Android! And you too Omega!
E-123 OMEGA: Dr. Eggman! I will destroy you and reign supreme!
{Cut to Sephiroth}
SEPHIROTH: This ain't really going nowhere. Should we just tarnsport Noxi and Roxas back to normal to avoid confusion?
NAMINE: I guess we can play later.
{Namine draws everyone in IRC, but makes Noxigar quote Shadow the Hedgehog.}
NOXIGAR: Roxas, you're going straight to-
{Namine pops back up again}
NAMINE: I will make Mad Matrix be in this place!
{A lego-shaped Mad Matrix is created to replace IRC.}
{Roxas Bites Noxigar's Arm. Noxigar shakes him off, and punches him in the eye. He then grabs the keyblade, and whacks him with it. Cut to Namine in her living room, placing a red carpet on the table, darkening the place, lighting a few candles inside some pumpkins, and getting out a huge cake. She also brings several pepperoni pizzas.}
NAMINE: God in the Machine trick!
{Cut to Roxas barraging Noxigar, who is severely bruised. Before Roxas can deal the final blow, Noxigar is voiped to Namine's. "OOC: ZOMG plot twist!"}
NOXIGAR: Uh, where am I?
NAMINE: Welcome to me.
NOXIGAR: You're not a location.
NAMINE: Sit down and relax.
{Namine draws a bottle of Henessy and a pit lord and they magically appear.}
PIT LORD: What trickery is this?
NAMINE: You! Get my friend {points at Noxigar} a drink!
NOXIGAR: I'll just have Dr. Pepper. Thanks.
{The Pit Lord serves Namine the Henessy and Namine draws a Dr. Pepper bottle so the Pit Lord and serve Noxigar Dr. Pepper. Cut to Roxas, who is shocked.}
ROXAS: Where did that infidel go?
SEPHIROTH: I have no idea.
SUPER SAM: UNTIE US!!
{Namine draws a tauren with a chainsaw untying the sysops.}
NAMINE: Now with that conflict out of the way, I can pay attention.
NOXIGAR: I've been dragged along onto a quest by some trolls, nearly beaten to a pulp by Roxas and saved by the skin of my teeth by you, what else must I do?
NAMINE: Basically you just have dinner with me.
NOXIGAR: It's like I'm in some warped dream, and I cannot interpret it as a nightmare or a blessing.
{Sam The Man runs in, holding a microphone. 2 camera man follow behind}
SAM THE MAN: As evil rises, how would you guys describe it?
SEPHIROTH: I find it Quite fun.
SUPER SAM: NOW IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO PERSISH ROXAS! BAN HAMMER ATTACK"!!!!111!!! {Attacks Roxas with Banhammmer, but Roxas is immune to its power.}
ROXAS: Only one person can defeat me now. And that man is NOXIGAR!!
CYRUS: I think I has the solution! Percussion!
{Homestar plays the drums.}
CYRUS: Strings!
{Marzipan plays the guitar Carol.}
CYRUS: Winds!
{Garzel is playing a flute, and Aruseus is playing an alto saxophone.}
CYRUS: Words!
{The word "Words" is shown as a caption. "OOC: Oppportunity for your musical?"}
SEPHIROTH: ME!
{60's music starts playing and Sephiroth Starts to sing.}
SEPHIROTH:Good sense, innocence, cripplin' and kind.
Dead kings, many things I can't define.
Oh Cajun spice, sweats and blushers your mind.
Incense and peppermints, the color of thyme.
Who cares what games we choose?
Little to win, but nothing to lose.
Incense and peppermints, meaningless nouns.
Turn on, tune in, turn your eyes around.
Look at yourself, look at yourself,
Yeah, yeah.
Look at yourself, look at yourself,
Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah.
{Cyrus has a shocked look on his face.}
CYRUS: What kind of musical is that?
{A television screen shows Namine's house.}
ROXAS: Do my eyes deceive me?
ARUSEUS: What's it look like, genius?
ROXAS: Noxigar is... having dinner with Namine?! The horror!
GARZEL: Uh... how is it horrorful to have dinner at a friend's place?
ROXAS: Do you not see the red carpet, the candles, and the wine glasses?
SEPHIROTH: Roxas, how did you become a bad guy? This looks like a time for a FLASHBACK!!
ROXAS: There's no need. Noxigar just hates me 'cause I killed the rest of the Organization XIII members along with Riku and the Beast.
SEPHIROTH: But, doesn't he hate Sora too then?
SAM THE MAN: WATCH OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{Homeschool Winner comes flying done on a hoverboard}
ROXAS: Noxigar thinks Sora's a disguise I put on. So... he thinks I'm Sora. Now I'm ticked off at him if you look at the television screen above you.
SEPHIROTH: {Looks up.} They're just having dinner. But I just wanna see you guys beat the snot outta eachother.
{Namine draws several Gambler Nobodies hitting Sephiroth in the face.}
NAMINE: For the duration of the dinner, Noxi will be here. Scram!
GARZEL: Namine's pretty moody right now... I'd listen before getting killed off by some random object.
{Roxas gets a thought from Kairi, who tells him to "use the force"}
SEPHIROTH: ..... That sketchbook is annoying. Screw you guys, I'm going home. Call me when the action turns on again.
SAM THE MAN: JUST KILL ROXAS WILL YOU NOXIGAR!!!!!!!!!!!
VINDICATOR: CAMEO!!!
SEPHIROTH: Acually, I have a cunning plan!
{A strange portal appears and Znex walks out of it.}
ZNEX: What kind of plan? Boy, this must be like my first appearance for the entire movie.
SEPHIROTH: I dress as a WWII Air Pilot, and then kidnap Noxigar, when Namine ain't lookin'.
GARZEL: You know there are candles everywhere, correct? I'd like to blow 'em out to use the element of surprise.
KING OF TOWN: And we must loot the Meat Lover's Pizza Delivery Guy!
{Cut to Noxigar and Namine. She is drawing Sephiroth in a WWII air pilot suit, with Garzel blowing out candles. Roxas is also there with his Keyblades, Vindicator and the Combine also there.}
NOXIGAR: Hey, what are you doing?
NAMINE: Drawing everything that's supposed to happen.
{Namine then plays Karaoke Revolution.}
NAMINE: {singing} Never gonna give you up.
- Never gonna let you down
- Never gonna turn around and
- Desert you
- Never gonna make you cry
- Never gonna say goodbye
- Never gonna tell a lie
- Or hurt you
SEPHIROTH: RICKROLL'D!
NOXIGAR: Wha? Wait.. What are you- {Gets grabbed by Sephiroth.}
VINDICATOR: It's been forever since I've been back to this place. {vapourises Combine} You're not needed.
{Vindicator pulls a revolver to his head, shoots, and evokes the Persona known as Eligor.}
ELIGOR: What? Where am I?
NOXIGAR: I don't know...
{Dinoshaur Comes in}
{NEWCOMER: DINOSHAUR}
DINOSHAUR: Showtime!
ZNEX: Okay, we've got Noxigar, now what?
SEPHIROTH: We D-D-D-D-DUEL! {Yugioh Theme Music Plays.} Get your game on!
{Noxigar laughs}
NOXIGAR: No way!
SEPHIROTH: My Boy. First you Scrub all the floors in Hyrule, then we talk about Dinner.
NOXIGAR: Let's find another conflict...
SEPHIROTH: Accually, we should end this movie. Let's do it in a weird and Shocking way. Let's kill everyone off!!
NOXIGAR: We forgot the Denouement!
Denouement
SEPHIROTH: Yay! Now let's kill everyone off! Wait.... Something feels weird. {Reveal to see a dagger in Sephiroth's back. Sephiroth Dies.}
NOXIGAR: Namine, what are you doing?
{Namine draws the scene in her sketchbook.}
NAMINE: Trying an epilogue out.
{Sephiroth get's back up.}
SEPHIROTH: Wha? I'm Poo-Pooing That Statement.
NAMINE: You know, if there's one thing I've learned from being Alive, it's never ignore a poo-poo. I knew a guy. He got poo-pooed. Made the mistake of ignoring the poo-poo. He poo-pooed it. Fatal error, because it turned out all along that the guy who poo-pooed him had been poo-pooing a lot of other people, who poo-pooed their poo-poos. In the end, we had to revert alot of chaos. - morale totally destroyed - by poo-poo.
NOXIGAR: Nice monologue.
NAMINE: Thanks.
{Roxas Bursts in}
ROXAS: TIME TO FINISH!!
SEPHIROTH: Y'now Roxas, you're not very well liked anymore. When people slip in what dogs have left in the streets, they do tend to say, 'Oops, I've trod in an Roxas. And that's all because of your trolling.
{A laughtrack is played by Vanhock.}
VANHOCK: Good joke, mate, good joke.
{Roxas bludgeons Vanhock in the head with both of his keyblades}
ROXAS: Later, losers.
{Roxas warps away.}
NOXIGAR: So much for a finishing blow. His IP address is exposed if you want to get it banned.
{Sephiroth's Eyes Turn Red.}
SEPHIROTH: {In a Sinister Voice} Yes... Do you want ultimate power? I know how to get it.
NOXIGAR: Seph? You ok?
SEPHIROTH: More than ok.... So? Wanna hear the plan?
NOXIGAR: Sure.
SEPHIROTH: We Dress as as Domo-Kun, and Place a hit on the admins. We then usurper the admin spot, and we'll rule the wiki!
NOXIGAR: Thanks, but I'm not sure if we can usurper the wiki. I gotta update my show.
{Noxigar voips to his fanstuff office.}
SEPHIROTH: What a crappy ending. I'll just kill everyone off myself then.
{Credits Start Rolling}
{The End.}
{30 Seconds after the Ending, another scene is shown. It shows, all the characters except Namine and Roxas lying dead, on the ground, with gunshot wounds. And the Screen Pans up to show that the murderer is...}
{After About 15 seconds, Sam The Man pops up}
SAM THE MAN: Is it over? Did I win? Now, go do something fun.
{Sam the Man Notices the Dead Bodies.}
SAM THE MAN: HOLY CRAP!!! Oh whatever, I'm leaving.
{Sam The Man walks away. The Credits still roll down. After about a minute later, everyone is still dead. The Murder is Finally Revealed, being Roxas.}
ROXAS: You idiots forgot to block me. Well anyway..... I HAVE KILLED THE LAST MEMBER OF ORGANIZATION XIII!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
{Sinister Music Plays.}
{Sora Comes in}
SORA: ROXAS!! WHAT THE HECK!?
ROXAS: Gotta Run! {Runs Away.}
SORA: Looks like I gotta revive these people. {Gets out some potions.}
{THE END! TUNE IN FOR THE SEQUEL!!}
RAIKU: hi can i be in this