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Everything You Know Is Wrong/Episodes/9

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Noxigar, Cow Puncher, Badstar, and Im a bell team up when Homsar44withpie runs amok in Homestar's universe. Cyrus, Garzel, and Shwoo join the bandwagon as H44WP wreaks more havoc. {NOTE: This is writable by Noxi, Badstar, Cow Puncher, and Im a bell. Otherwise, don't touch the transcript}


H44WP: Hi, cat... bell... thing... Blah-dee-blah! How would you like to be half of a demon?

BLING:{monotone} No comment.

{cut to a computer. Im a bell is downloading something. the computer starts smoking}

BADSTAR: Duuuuuude... Something's seeeeeeriously wrong with your computer.

{the computer inflames}


ALPHA CRAM: Hi guys. Yeah, uhh, your catbell was kidnapped by question marks. Yeah.

IM A BELL: Well... I suppose we should get a bunch of random HSR characters so we don't break rule 1.6!

{cut to Bubs'. A limo appears out of thin air}

HOMESCHOOL: It's done!

{cut to a cliff. The limo is driving off of it. It is pulled back onto ground}

IM A BELL: We're here!

BADSTAR:{voiceover} WRONG'd!

BELLSON: The right cliff's over there!

{a ship appears}

ANTI-BLING:{redneck accent} Yeeehaw! Ya' guys need a lift?

{Cut to Noxigar, who was at Bubs' watching.}

NOXIGAR: Hi, Bellstrom. Anyway, H44WP came here and I've been sent by Shwoo to see that he doesn't ruin the universe.

{Homestar watches all this from his window in his room}

HOMESTAR: Hey, what makes this look weiwd? I'm intwewsted...

IM A BELL:{to Noxigar} Sure. Say, You need a lift from four question marks dash five question marks?

{cut to a warehouse. Ll e bami swallows Bling}

LL: Look, I need to do a bunch of random things to reach a demonic form, so, get me tea, dangit! You can use this BanhammerTM while you wait.

H44WP: Yays. Say hello to Blockination, Homestar Tiger! {walks away}

{Cut back to Noxigar and Im a bell}

NOXIGAR: Uh, sure. I will not let H44WP mess with my furniture.

{Noxigar gets out the HST chair and points at it.}

NOXIGAR: On a half-related note. I'll join your quest.

{Noxigar enters the limo, with the HST chair}

NOXIGAR: We better get going, or else Stephen Colbert is going to kill The Cheat.

IM A BELL: I think he already did. {points to The Cheat chair} Say, you got another of those HST chairs?

NOXIGAR: There's only one HST in existence, if that answers your question.

{Cut to a picture of Stephen Colbert in his office. The "Threat Down" thing pops up and a picture of the Cheat is below.}


{Shwoo pops up behind Stephen Colbert and kills him by thwacking him in the head with a pretzel stick.}

SHWOO: Hmmhmhmmm. Meh THAT!

{Cut back to Noxigar and Im a bell}

IM A BELL: Whoa. Shwoo-

VEGEROT: Unnecessary line!

IM A BELL: -totally reverted him!

NOXIGAR: Hey, where are your other friends?

IM A BELL: Uhh... well... I'm a n00b, so, they're here, but we don't let them talk. I think they're just here for filler.

NOXIGAR: Filler, you say? Reasonable...

{Cut to H44WP, in his office, with the Banhammer}

H44WP: Dang it! HST's now a piece of furniture in Noxic Gas' pile o' stuff! Now I'm getting sick of the entire wiki. The Subpage Deal and everything ruined the usefulness of Rule 1.6! Order must be restored to the throne!

{Cut back to Noxi an Im a bell}

NOXIGAR: Anyway, where are we going? I spot a Burger King nearby. Mind if I get a Bruger King mask?


NOXIGAR: Proper English please?

{Garzel appears, apparently having known HM-02 Fly.}

GARZEL: Methinks she is saying we're going to Candy Land?

{Garzel enters the limo by using Aqua Jet. Noxigar is all wet.}

NOXIGAR: It's a good thing my jacket is hydrophobic.

GARZEL: It's a lipid?

NOXIGAR: Uh... no.

{Cut to Bling, being tied up. Ll e bami grins as he ties up Bling.}

BLING: Why am I always kidnapped?

LL: It's part of a cliche, that's why.

BLING: But I'm not Princess Peach.

LL: So what? Your physique is strikingly similar.

{Cut back to Noxigar and Im a bell}

IM A BELL: ...Is it just me, or did it feel like a lot of the wiki was destroyed? {eats burger} Where are we eating anyway?

{Vegerot points to a sign saying "Candy LandTMA Subsidiary of Burger King"}

IM A BELL: :Weirded Out:... Pathooie!!! {spits out burger}

NOXIGAR: Well I like Burger King! And what's wrong with Candy Land?

IM A BELL: Uhh... Nothing...

NOXIGAR: We better hurry before H44WP becomes as bad as Roxas!

IM A BELL: Right. Everyone! Me, CP, Noxi, Badstar, and Vegerot will find H44WP! Everyone else, go do random stuff. Ebeneezer, go drown!

{Im a bell, Noxigar, CP, Badstar, and Vegerot run off. Cut to Namine.}

NAMINE: Hello. I'm sure you know me from the previous episode, or from the Kingdom Hearts series. I'm Namine. I animate and Shadow Scythe is co-animator. I'm the main wiki admin, with Joey Day being one of my many puppets. I can draw anyone to do what I tell them to. So, I went to talk to H44WP and asked him about Rule 1.6 and if anyone was following it. He went to enforce Rule 1.6, albeit not in the style I had in mind. Thus, I punish him by having his most hated enemies kill him.

{Pan out to show Bellson standing beside her}

BELLSON: ...Nice monologue.

NAMINE: Uh... thanks?

BELLSON: I'm... gonna leave... because of Im a bell's Shipping-phelia... {runs away}

NAMINE: Shipping-phelia? O DER. Wait, I'm talking like the tentacle guy.

{Shadow Scythe pops up}

SHADOW SCYTHE: These are not tentacles. These are grappling hooks.

{Shadow Scythe runs offscreen}

NAMINE: Let's go help Noxigar again. Hopefully Im a bell's as judgmental as he is a shipping-phile.

BELLON: Right. Fortunately, he only ships Acidgrrl. Sometimes me... {leaves}

{Namine gets a weirded out look on her face.}

NAMINE: Let's hope he doesn't pair Noxigar with Acidgrrl. That'd make me lonelier, as then drawing this would be ruined.

{Goofy pops up}

GOOFY: Hey, how bout I get paired with Acidgrrl instead, hyuk?

NAMINE: {smiles} Yeah, that'd work!

{Im a bell appears}

IM A BELL:{just a translucent head} NO! Look, I'm layin' off the shipping for a while. Unless... With Bling? No, that wouldn't work.

NAMINE: I don't even really care... about you.

{Namine draws Noxigar and Im a bell again}

IM A BELL: Ever have the feeling you have two heads?

NOXIGAR: Not sure. Why?

IM A BELL: I don't know. Does my head look clear?

NOXIGAR: It should be clear.

IM A BELL: It's not? Hmm...

NOXIGAR: There's several blue spots occurring, like little dabs of ink.

IM A BELL: I can see that. Here comes one right now!!! {becomes completely dark blue}

{Cut back to Namine, whose blue pen is bleeding.}

NAMINE: Good thing I have this red marker to replace it.

{Namine throws the bleeding pen into the garbage.}

NAMINE: Let's start over from a new page.

{Namine turns to a brand new page, and draws all the characters from before}

IM A BELL: First I was blue, NOW I'm covered in blood!

NOXIGAR: And most of these characters are dead.

{Noxigar points at Bling, Alpha Cram, Bellson, Acidgrrl, and Ll e bami all dead. Cut to H44WP.}

H44WP: Soon, Rule 1.6 will become a deity and I will be king! Oh, crap. HST's still alive. Banhammer hit!!!

HST: Why you-

{H44WP bans HST chair}

NOXIGAR: You dare bring light to my furniture? You must die!

{Noxigar electrocutes H44WP}

IM A BELL: Nice. {becomes soul reaper} Randim Jibney Death! n00b Torture!!!!

{H44WP is sentenced to be locked in a room, forced to watch every single n00bish thing on the HRFWiki}

{Namine turns to an empty page, and continues from there. Apparently Im a bell and Noxigar locked themselfs in.}

NOXIGAR: Major plot twist!

H44WP: Where there's smoke, they pinch back!

IM A BELL: Hmm... My zanpakuto also acts as a Banhammer... {Banhammers H44WP}

NOXIGAR: Good thing I found a magic balloon!

{Noxigar points up and inflates the balloon to fit two people. The balloon breaks the roof of the imprisonment. Cut to Namine again.}

NAMINE: What's next on my agenda?

{Namine gets out her agenda. "A Meat Lover's pizza arrives in 10 minutes" is written.}

NAMINE: Ah. Good.

{Cut back to the balloon}

IM A BELL: Get in the balloon! I think I can see some sort of sphere heading towards us!!!!

{Cut back to Namine. She is apparently playing Katamari Damacy. Noxigar, Im a bell, and H44WP become a part of the Katamari. Cut to the King Of All Cosmos behind Namine.}

KING OF ALL COSMOS: That's my boy! Turn those meddling fools into stars!

{The sphere heads back to Namine's. Noxigar, Im a bell, and H44WP are thrown off it, landing on Namine's sofa.}

KING OF ALL COSMOS: My boy! This peace is what all true Katamari warriors strive for!

IM A BELL: That... was cool.

{Namine draws a portal, and H44WP runs through it. Before entirely going through, he turns to Im a bell and Noxigar.}

H44WP: I'll be back, and next time you won't be so lucky!

IM A BELL: Shut up.

{H44WP goes through the portal.}

NOXIGAR: Well that was odd... how can a portal just pop up that randomly?

IM A BELL: Uhh... Global Warming?

{End 'sode}

Spot the References

About Bell Quest...

  • ":Weirded out:"; Apparently, Im a bell can speak ASCII emoticons, usually O_o (weirded out).
  • "your catbell was kidnapped by question marks"
    • one; "Catbell" refers to the fact that Cyrus described Bling as "a bell kitty thing".
    • two;"question marks" rfers to the fact that before Anti-Bling's, H44WP's, and Ll's names were revealed, the letters of their names were replaced with "?"s.
  • H44WP being an antagonist is a reference to Bell Quest.

Fun Facts


Yay, a Bell Quest pardorie. User:Cow Puncher/octobersig 00:52, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

You, Bell, and Badstar are allowed to contribute, as this is your fanfiction I'm mocking. Noxigar 00:53, 24 October 2007 (UTC)
Yeah. I think I can point out a LOT of plotholes. BtW, unless you're also mocking Bell Quest II, it's not really CP's. User:Im a bell/hallosig 00:58, 24 October 2007 (UTC)
OMG, I JUST remembered the Threat Down thing! {laughs} User:Im a bell/hallosig 01:02, 24 October 2007 (UTC)
Plotholes... let's fill 'em up! {readies a cement truck} Noxigar 01:06, 24 October 2007 (UTC)
I'll get the forks! Wait... what? User:Im a bell/hallosig 01:13, 24 October 2007 (UTC)