Everything You Know Is Wrong/Episodes/2

Synopsis

Eric becomes an X-men character of unfathomable awesomeness, Cyrus makes an army of Lucarios and succeeds when Homestar Tiger fuses Charizard DNA alongside it, Sam the Man impersonates Rob Burgundy, and stupidity ensues.

Transcript

{Eric goes to his fridge in the kitchen.}

ERIC: Let's get me some Cheetos.

{Eric opens the fridge to obtain a canister of glowing green Cheetos. He goes to the table and begins eating several Cheetos. After about 15 Cheetos, Eric transforms into the Juggernaut. Eric gets a headache and goes to his bathroom to get some Tylenol when he sees himself in the mirror.}

ERIC: Sweet! I'm the freakin' Juggernaut! Let's go kick some butt.

{Eric walks out of the bathroom offscreen. Cut to Cyrus in his laboratory}

CYRUS: Yes! These lab results will make my army of loyal Lucarios more powerful than any Pokemon. Not even Shedinja will be able to withstand the awesomeness of this army!

{Cyrus triggers several green and blue switches. Homestar Tiger appears}

HST: Hey, Cyrus! You forgot to pull this switch!

{HST pulls an orange switch. Cyrus has an enraged look on his face.}

CYRUS: No, my army of Lucarios is ruined!

{Cut to the bilogical tube containing Lucario's DNA. The orange switch causes Charizard's DNA to also be in the biological tube. The tube starts glowing red and explodes. A crossbreed of Charizard and Lucario appears from the smoke.}

CYRUS: Yes, it's a chemical success!

{Cut to the Charizard-Lucario hybrid hugging its creator. Homestar Tiger blows some tissues, apparently crying.}

HST: Can't you imagine a more beautiful sight?

{Cut to a group of hooded people at a bar. Among them is Clamburger.}

CLAMBURGER: Attention, everyone! This is the anti-Bonus Stage cult! We must demolish Matt Wilson! Anyone care to supply us with weaponry?

{Cut to Cow Puncher in the Thunder Bluff elevator.}

COW PUNCHER: I'm here to punch cows!

{Cow Puncher is impeded by several Bluffwatchers, who try to tear him to pieces using huge axes. Cow Puncher dodges them, punching them back with fist weaponry.}

COW PUNCHER: Ha, ha! I am teh winner! You are teh n00bertz!

{Cut to see that all of that footage was revealed to be in Sephiroth's television}

SEPHIROTH: Wow, and Shadow Scythe thinks he can use Newgrounds? Ha! Newgrounds is a load o' rubbish!

{Shadow Scythe pops up from behind Sephiroth's couch. He carries his tentacles.}

SHADOW SCYTHE: I'll show you a load o' rubbish! Prepare to be destroyed!

{Shadow Scythe's tentacles are about to wrap around Sephiroth. Cut to Sam the Man in his anchorman outfit.}

SAM THE MAN: {impersonating Rob Burgundy} Attention, everyone! This is the Neighborhood Watch Community! This is the Neighborhood Watch Community, reminding everyone that tentacle assault is illegal. Thank you and have a safe day!

{Cut back to Sephiroth, who uses his long blade to cut Shadow Scythe's tentacles}

SHADOW SCYTHE: Darn you, Neighborhood Watch Community!

SEPHIROTH: I should have more lines than this!

{Cloud pops up with his sword}

CLOUD: You rang?

{Sephiroth and Cloud have a long swordfight. Cut to the Broternal Oder of Different Helmets}

HOMESTAR: Owdew! Owdew!

{Cut to Sam the Man, this time dressed up as Rob Burgundy instead of impersonating his voice.}

SAM THE MAN: This is Action News. Today a lot of stupid stuff happened on this wiki. We'd like to apologize for interrupting your program, and we assure you that Shadow Scythe's tentacles will not cause any more technical difficulties.

{Shadow Scythe pops up}

SHADOW SCYTHE: I'll show you technical difficulties!

{Shadow Scythe envelops his tentacles around Sam the Man's neck. Cut to Strong Bad, who has entered the living room}

STRONG BAD: Hey, Homestar, have you seen the XBox?

{Cut to Homestar, sitting on the couch.}

HOMESTAR: It's wight hewe... in my pants...

{Strong Bad shows his left leg and proceeds towards Homestar, ready to kick. Cut to Eric in the same living room. He's still the Juggernaut.}

ERIC: Woohoo! Let's get that XBox!

{Eric heads toward that same couch, where an XBox is behind it. He smells it.}

ERIC: Why do I smell skunk?

{Cut to Shwoo in Bubs' Concession Stand}

SHWOO: Hola, Bubs.

BUBS: Hola, senorita! What can I getcha?

SHWOO: Uh, do you have any 1.6 Rulebreakers?

BUBS: Eh, I'm all out of thems. I can getcha a the Cheat.

{Bubs takes out the Cheat from a cooler}

BUBS: Cold like ice cream!

SHWOO: Uh... no thanks.

{End 'sode.}

Comments

Meh. Comment here.

Comment! Comment comment? Comment comment comment!!1 User:ApocalypX/sig 23:04, 3 October 2007 (UTC)

Uh... translation? Noxigar 17:25, 5 October 2007 (UTC)