Ethan & Dolan/X On Fire

Summary

X On Fire gets an interview

Transcript

DOLAN: Hello everybody! Welcome back to the show, everybody.

ETHAN: Today's show is brought to you by the letter X... on fire!

DOLAN: That's right, Ethan! Please welcome, X on Fire!

X ON FIRE: {floats in, hovers over his chair} Hey, E and D!

ETHAN: Whoa. Flying flaming X man. Sup?

X ON FIRE: Well, I was planning on going back to SSXMails, but I've hit a little snag. I've started answering an email I can't do anything with, and I'm hesitant to replace it with another one I can answer.

DOLAN: Why? What's the question?

X ON FIRE: Well, there wasn't a question, exactly. It's an outdated WUW link to Wikihood that says "IT IS TIME." I considered replacing it with another email, but that doesn't sound right.

ETHAN: Well why would you choose to answer that email? Hear, I gotta better email for ya. "Dear Xman. You Suck. Prove to me that you don't. Your master, Ethan." What'dya think of that?

X ON FIRE: I chose it a while ago, when the link probably worked. And, as for your email, well...I'm on fire. Are you?

ETHAN: Well you got me there.

DOLAN: Now, about your name... where'd it come from?

X ON FIRE: Well, after I got tired of being named after {shudder shudder} Sonic, I took my old name, Super Sonic X, and combined it with another name I use a lot, Rather On Fire.

ETHAN: Sonic sucks.

DOLAN: So what else is new, X?

X ON FIRE: I've gotten into SSBB lately, and I think I'm getting better. And don't worry, Ethan. I play as Luigi.

ETHAN: Luigi!? Man, he sucks. Have you seen his final smash?

DOLAN: I personally prefer ROB myself.

ETHAN: Well you're like, related to him, aren't you?

DOLAN: Distant cousins...

ETHAN: What's so great about Luigi anyway?

X ON FIRE: Everything! But, that's not the point. The real point is that a senior at my school is hosting an SSBB tournament. I've been training for a while, and I'm getting stronger against level 9 CPUs.

ETHAN: You're only good if you hack the game and beat Level 20's...

DOLAN: ...Any other video games you're into?

X ON FIRE: Well, like 99% of the internet, I love Mega Man 2. In fact, I've loved it since my dad played it on our NES back when I wasn't even in preschool.

ETHAN: Megaman!? C'mon! You can't do any better than that?

X ON FIRE: Well, if you say so...

ETHAN: Thank god! I'm glad you at least have some video game brains.

DOLAN: Ah, Duck Tales. Just like mom used to make.

ETHAN: So, is there anything really interesting about you?

X ON FIRE: Well... {X On Fire floats up higher, and begins glowing. Soon, the entire room is covered in a wavy purple haze. X On Fire seems to split into three copies of himself. Lignting bolts begin forming from the center X On Fire, extending to random points. Moments later, there's a bright flash, and the effects stop.} Look outside.

ETHAN: We're underground... in a basement.

X ON FIRE: Oh, are we? {opens up a window, revealing deep space}

DOLAN: Whoa.

ETHAN: Aw crap. {pulls out cellphone} I'll never get good reception out here.

DOLAN: So... I take it you have the ability to send people into deep space?

X ON FIRE: Among other powers. I can also heat cold slices of pizza in seconds!

ETHAN: But can you heat cold pizza... in space?

X ON FIRE: {looks at his fire} Yep.

DOLAN: Um... can you maybe send us back to Earth now? I think the oxygen is starting to give out...

X ON FIRE: Okay. {The house reappears on Earth with an effortless "poof" sound effect.} I guess I went over-budget getting into space.

ETHAN: Yeah. I think you may have fried our sound and light boards too.

DOLAN: Well, no matter. When did you realize you had these... strange powers?

X ON FIRE: I was basically created with them about 10,000 years ago.

ETHAN: Whoa, dude! You are OLD! You're like up their with McCain! How are you still alive?

X ON FIRE: Well, my X provides energy for my fire to keep burning, which gives energy right back. Then, my X sends wireless signals to my eyes and mouth to keep them working.

DOLAN: Interesting.

ETHAN: But what if I dumped a bucket of water on you?

X ON FIRE: This. {dumps a bucket of water on himself, the water evaporates, and the fire doesn't go out} My X already gives it energy, so the water has no effect.

DOLAN: Hmmm. But how does the X create energy?

X ON FIRE: Some science I don't understand. I prefer to call it "magic."

ETHAN: Yeah, he's not gonna settle for that...

DOLAN: But you must know SOMETHING about how you work!