Ethan & Dolan/TheCheese

Summary

TheCheese gets himself an all expense paid interview!

Transcript

DOLAN: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. Our next interview is with the lovable, huggable. snuggable, and horribly insane, TheCheese.

ETHAN: Snuggable?

DOLAN: Please welcome him! {applause}

{TheCheese comes out, riding on doggie's back. The music from Scrubs plays. TheCheese dismounts and doggie flies off into the horizon, which is tinted red, white, and blue. TheCheese takes a seat.}

THECHEESE: Hey guys.

ETHAN: Allrighty then.

DOLAN: How are you today, TheCheese?

THECHEESE: I'm wonderful. I sleep well at night, knowing that I am the most loved user over at the WUW.

ETHAN: ...well, whatever makes ya satisfied with yourself.

DOLAN: What's new?

THECHEESE: Well Dolan, I am working in several philanthropic projects around the city. It's like my motto: "A working man is a helping man." I just love helping out, recycling, and reducing carbon emissions. What's new with you gentlemen?

ETHAN: Well I just purchased a new Super Hummer while having a troup of 7 year old children build tiny Ethan action figures and dumping the waste product into the nearby stream which runs down into the rest of the town's water supply. So you know, not much.

DOLAN: TheCheese, did you really do all that enviromental stuff?

THECHEESE: No, I just sit on my computer all day and talk about doggie and heckle other users, except for my friends.

ETHAN: That's the same stuff I do. Minus the doggie part.

DOLAN: Yeah. What was up with all that?

THECHEESE: It all started with an idea for my userpage. I just put "NachoMan is my dog. This is also a dog" and then that picture. Bluebry sort of called it "doggie", and so it was named. I went on to spam pages asking for doggie to have cameos in whatever project they were doing, and now I still reference it, because I'm not funny enough to come up with new jokes. {TheCheese frowns}

ETHAN: Well it's always best when people admit their not funny. That would be the first step.

DOLAN: Hmm. Now, what about your name? Where'd it come from?

THECHEESE: I couldn't tell you, honestly. I was Cheatachu72 on HRWiki back in the day, and when I went to the Fanstuff, it was taken, and I chose TheCheese for some reason. I'm sure there's some all-too-obscure H*R reference that I got it from, but I cannot remember.

DOLAN: I don't think cheese has ever been mentioned on Homestarrunner.com...

ETHAN: In Spain you'd be, "El Queso!"

DOLAN: ...alright then. So what other types of things do you like to do on the wiki?

THECHEESE: Really just random crap. I'm not a "good contributor" as they call it. I just talk to my second gen friends and occasionally make something that I will never update after 24 hours.

ETHAN: And you're STILL one of the best users on the WUW...

DOLAN: So.... what do you like to do outside the wiki?

{Suddenly, Soulja Boy Tell 'Em comes in and knocks the desk over.}

SOULJA BOY: I gotta new dance for ya'll. S'called the Soulja Boy. {begins to dance}

{Ethan, Dolan and TheCheese join in on the dance.}

SOULJA BOY: Soulja Boy off in this OH. Watch me crank it watch me ROLL.

{Soulja Boy leaves and the interview carries on.}

THECHEESE: Well, I like doing normal masculine things, like kissing girls and chopping wood. I like supporting families and doing a good day's work. I also like jumping on my trampoline {makes a ^_^ face}.

ETHAN: Dude you got a trampoline!? Can I come over some time?

THECHEESE: Heck yeah, man. But, um...do you have to bring...that square? {points to Dolan}

ETHAN: Naw man. He's got a power switch on his back, I can ditch him whatever time I want...

DOLAN: Ehem?

ETHAN: Shut up, square! So we're cool, right Cheesy?

THECHEESE: Yeah, man. Well, you were around before NSMC, right?

ETHAN: Well, we've never actually been on the HRFWiki....

DOLAN: Yeah we're strictly WUW. Is that gonna be a problem?

THECHEESE: No, no. That's fine. I just have issues with...certain folk.

ETHAN: Psst. Hey, you know that little green ball over there in the chair? I hear he's what you call a "Dirty Thirdie"...

THECHEESE: WHAT? {rips off shirt revealing a singlet and throws his chair at Will} YOU LIED TO ME! {dusts off his clothes and sits down} But, yes, I do have some distaste for these "Dirty Thirdies", as they are referred to as.

DOLAN: {shocked} Fantastic.

ETHAN: Dude, listen. I got this Foreigner living across from me, and I'd kinda like him gone. Could you like, I dun know, help me out a little bit?