(even if you aren't vegan)
Ethan & Dolan/Telethon
Summary
Ethan is hosting The 1st Annual Raising Money For Kids With Some Disease Telethon when things go astray
Transcript
{open with tv static. Cut to a shot of Ethan standing in front of a generic telethon stage. Various tables are set up on platforms behind him, with a telephones layed out across them. No one is sitting behind them, and none of them are ringing. A counter is hung up behind the tables reading "000,000,000,000,003.57", and above that, a banner reading, "RAISE MONEY FOR KIDS".}
DAVEY: We now return to the 1st Annual Raising Money For Kids With Some Disease Telethon! {the telethon logo appears and fades away} And now, Ethan!
{the camera zooms down to Ethan}
ETHAN: Hello and welcome back. Well, we're 3 hours into our telethon and we've already raised, drumroll please!
WILL: {offscreen, imitates a drum}
ETHAN: 3 dollars and 57 cents!
WILL: {faint, offscreen} Woo..
ETHAN: {belittled} ...towards our estimated goal of 999 trillion, 999 billion, 999 million, 999 thousand, 999 and 99 cents.
WILL: {offscreen} Aww...
ETHAN: But never fear, we've still got all the entertainment for at least another hour! Just don't forget to keep calling in and pledging your money! ...heh. I mean, {lights fade and spotlight appears on Ethan} It's up to us as human beings to help support those poor desperate diseased children of the world by donating at least 100 dollars each. I want you to ask yourself, what would Jesus do? {lights rise back up and spotlight dissapears} Our next act has possibly a few possible fans... possibly. He hails from foreign lands, please welcome, Osvaldo!
WILL: {offscreen} Clap! Clap! Clap! Applause! Hhhhaaaa!
{Ethan walks off and Osvaldo comes on. Poorly synthesized music begins to play a slow and drawn out version of Jarabe De Pelo's Bonito}
OSVALDO: {singing offkey} Bonito. Todo me parece bonito. {continues}
{Cut to Ethan talking to Will in front of the stage, we can see the auditorium seats, all completely empty}
ETHAN: {whispering} Will! This is awful! Is anyone even watching?
WILL: {whispering} Sorry, Ethan. I don't really think so.
ETHAN: How are we supposed to make money, if no one is donating!
WILL: Well we have the four bucks.
ETHAN: ...which was our change from lunch!
WILL: Well... yeah.
ETHAN: Where's Dolan anyway? He supposed to be here for the fwooshy flaming water cooler trick!
WILL: I don't know I haven't seen him yet.
ETHAN: Alright then, that's it!
