Conshow/harhar

Summary

The new, albeit creepy, mayor of Wikity tells us a Halloween-themed story.

Cast (With costume names): Mayor (No costume, voiceover), Chrionroar (as Error Message Dude #1 from Game Boy Camera), Conchris (as Lemeza from La-Mulana), Cruroar (No costume), Cieeia (as Alyx from Half-Life 2), Forest (No costume), Sirhcnoc (as Dr. Wily from Megaman), Greg (as a human... yeah...), Sarry Bcott (as Jason?), Zombies (as themselves...), Train Driver (as Train Driver)

Transcript

{Fade into a birds-eye view of Wikity at night, the screen slowly scrolls above the buildings}

MAYOR: {v.o} Hello... I'm Missster Spyden... And welcome to my creepy story show. I am also the mayor of Wikity... so I do appreciate it if you would listen...

{Zoom in on Conchris' House, Chrionroar floats by, chomping down some stop signs before hitting a lamp post}

MAYOR: {v.o} It'ssss been a few days since Xavian's defeat... and all was quiet in Wikity... Children were dressing up in crappy costumes in an attempt to get candy from people who do not wish for their houssse to be defaced by eggingsss... We look into our friends' house to see what they get up to at Halloween...

{Cut to Conchris' House - Living Room, Cruroar is watching TV}

ANNOUNCER: We'll be right back after these messages...

CRUROAR: It's kinda scary how watching yourself on TV makes you feel like... an idiot...

{Chrionroar suddenly appears out of nowhere}

CHRIONROAR: {error message music} (WHY?!)

CRUROAR: GAH! {jumps out of his seat and falls over the back of the couch}

CONCHRIS: {off-screen} Ha ha ha! That was hilarious!

CHRIONROAR: {turns towards Conchris suddenly} (YES, I KNOW I'M HILARIOUS...)

CONCHRIS: Stop creeping me out with that music... and that face...

CHRIONROAR: (NO!)

{Cruroar gets up and walks towards Conchris}

CRUROAR: What the hell are you wearing?

CONCHRIS: Oh this? This is an awesome costume. It grants me a +5 in awesomeness.

CRUROAR: It's... stupid looking...

CONCHRIS: Hey! I can solve puzzles and what not! AND TREASURE!

CRUROAR: Yeah... next you're going to say that you can OPEN DOORS by dancing.

CONCHRIS: {angry} WHO TOLD YOU?! {normal} So anyway, I'm off to steal candy from little kids. Lates. {runs off}

CHRIONROAR: {suddenly appears in front of Cruroar} (PRINT ERROR 02)

CRUROAR: Get the hell out.

{Cut to the outside of Sirhcnoc's New Lair on a hill}

MAYOR: {v.o} We now look at our... resident... villainsssss... Sirhcnoc and Greg... as they prepare for a little trickery and treatery of their own...

{Whispering is heard in the background}

MAYOR: {v.o} Treatery isn't a word? How absurd... Now... where was I? Oh yes... Sirhcnoc and Greg are getting ready for their halloween.

{Cut to Sirhcnoc's room in his lair, Greg walks in dressed like a human on stilts}

GREG: Hey! Check out my costume!

{Sirhcnoc turns around and looks at Greg puzzled}

GREG: It's my version of a human! Isn't it great?

SIRHCNOC: Erm... yes. Yes... it... is... Why did you dress up as a human again?

GREG: Well, from my planet, Humans were the scariest creatures of all... we used to tell stories of creepy grinning women who would...

SIRHCNOC: Enough... us humans aren't ugly!

GREG: Well... we didn't know much about humans so we always send out probes one after the other to find intelligent life.

SIRHCNOC: That's funny. We humans were also looking for intelligent life.

GREG: We must be of the same mind then! Wait... what?

{Pause}

MAYOR: {v.o} Err... we're going to leave Sirhcnoc and his furry companion for now. Let's go back to that fellow Conchris' house, to see what is going on...

{Cut to Conchris' House - Living Room, Cruroar is asleep on the couch as Cieeia walks in}

CIEEIA: Hey... have you seen the others?

CRUROAR: {sleepy} Huh? What?

CIEEIA: I said, the others. Where are they? Do I really need to slow it down for you?

CRUROAR: Well, Conches is out with Forest to steal some candy from other people...

{Cut to a place on The Street, Conchris is hiding behind a tree with Forest}

CONCHRIS: Do you still have energy left in that Ghost Chaser?

FOREST: This plan, for once, is actually quite fun, especially since I don't get the blame. Yes. I do.

CONCHRIS: You've said that about 5 minutes ago!

FOREST: It's not my fault that I can loop my last words. This plan, for once, is actually quite fun, especially since I don't get the blame.

CONCHRIS: Whatever. {footsteps are heard} Someone's coming! Quick! Dive behind this hammerspace area I created in the tree!

{Conchris and Forest disappear behind the tree as Aria walks into view with a bag full of candy}

ARIA: Dressing up as an un-noticed character was the best idea I've ever had! Especially since those people give out double the candy to forgotten people!

{A ghost suddenly appears behind Aria}

ARIA: There's a ghost behind me, is there?

{Aria turns around}

ARIA: YIKES! G-G-G-G-GHOST! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! {runs off into the distance, leaving a trail of candy}

{Conchris and Forest jump out of the tree}

CONCHRIS: Ha ha ha! Who knew that stealing candy is so easy?

FOREST: When we get back, how will we split the candy?

CONCHRIS: I've already promised that we both get 50:50.

FOREST: Then it's settled. Now, let's go grab those candies before they disappear into thin air.

{Cut back to Conchris' House - Living Room}

CIEEIA: Oh... So, where did Chrionroar go?

CRUROAR: He probably went to that art museum that they somehow opened on this particular day...

{Cut to the art museum, a boring tour guide is guiding a crowd of people, they walk along and stops at Chrionroar}

TOUR GUIDE: ...which brings us to this next exhibit... This piece of art was painted in 192...

{Chrionroar suddenly pops out of the frame}

CHRIONROAR: (HI! I'M A SCARY PAINTING!)

{The people starts screaming and they all run off, leaving the tour guide behind.}

TOUR GUIDE: ...as you can see this... {looks around} Where did everyone go? {turns around}

CHRIONROAR: (PRINT ERROR 02)

TOUR GUIDE: {suddenly turns into a dog} RIKES! RAGGY! RELLLLPPP! {runs off}

{Cut back to Conchris' House - Living Room}

CIEEIA: Oh... why aren't you going out? You know... somewhere...

CRUROAR: I was posted here to give out candy to the people that knock...

CIEEIA: Candy?! C-C-Can I have some?

CRUROAR: No. Remember the last time that you ate the candy...

CIEEIA: I promise that I won't try to burn down the place... PLEEEEEASSSE?

CRUROAR: No. And I- {notices that Cieeia is gone} Oh great...

{Pan over to reveal Cieeia with a bowl of candy, she takes a few out and shoves it into her mouth}

CRUROAR: NO! DON'T!

{Tension-inducing music starts to play as Cieeia looks around and Cruroar prepares for the worst, but nothing happens}

CIEEIA: Huh, nothing happened.

CRUROAR: Phew! I thought something bad was going to happen... like, you know, zombies rising up from beyond the grave...

CIEEIA: We already did that 40 episodes back!

CRUROAR: Ah, yes we did!

{Cruroar and Cieeia starts laughing but it slowly turns into nervous laughter as a creaking noise is heard}

CIEEIA: C-C-Cruroar? Wh-wh-what was that?

CRUROAR: I don't know...

{Footsteps are also heard as the creaking continues}

CIEEIA: Cruroar... I think something's bad going to happen!

CRUROAR: WHAT?! THIS MUSIC IS GETTING TO TENSION-LIKE!

CIEEIA: I SAID... {turns around and looks at the figure approaching them in shock}

CRUROAR: YOU SAID, wha? {turns around}

{The figure steps out of the shadows to reveal Sarry Bcott with a hockey mask, whilst grinning under it}

CIEEIA: Phew. It's just that crazy salesde-

{Sarry pulls out a knife and starts laughing maniacally}

CIEEIA: EEK!

CRUROAR: RUN!

{Cruroar and Cieeia run out of the house, screaming}

SARRY: You don't like my new Cillit Twang: Knife edition? {starts crying}

{Zoom out of the house and the screen starts to slowly pan over to the city hall}

MAYOR: {v.o} Nothing interesting happened later on in the night... and Cruroar and his girlfriend ran to the City Hall, where I was holding a Halloween party, which had free alcohol and juice...

{Cut to the inside of Wikity City Hall, Cruroar and Cieeia run in, breathless, as Conchris walks out}

FOREST: {low volume} Stupid people and their stupid antics, I just wish that I could go to a better Halloween party.

CIEEIA: Hey! Where are you going?

FOREST: I'm going to another Halloween party that doesn't quite suck as much as this one. Everyone here are like dead weights! Later, idiots... {walks off}

CRUROAR: Phew... I'm surprised that we ran all this way to get here... here of all places

MAYOR: {suddenly appears out of nowhere} So glad that you could... come, Mr. Goodwin and Ms. Goldilin...

CIEEIA: YIPE! {jumps a few inches before turning around} Oh... it's just you.

MAYOR: Yes... Sorry to scare you, Ms. Goldilin... You're just in time for the zombie outbreak.

CRUROAR: Zombie outbreak?

MAYOR: Yes... It wasn't a planned event, mind you. But some idiot decided to try and raise the dead with jumper cables and pickled fingers...

CRUROAR: I think I know who that is...

CRUROAR and CIEEIA: CONCHES!

{Cut to the back of the City Hall, the graveyard has cables sticking into every grave}

CONCHRIS: This is totally going to be awesome! I don't need that stupid Forest anyway!

{Cruroar and Cieeia run in}

CIEEIA: Stop! We're here to stop you!

CONCHRIS: {about to pull the lever} What?

CRUROAR: She said...

{Sparks of electricity jump out and touches all the cables in the graveyard, zombies start rising from their graves and starts to attack}

CRUROAR: Dear god...

CONCHRIS: Ha ha! This is totally a step forward in science!

CIEEIA: You didn't just try to raise zombies from the grave to command an army of them, right?

CONCHRIS: {eyes Cieeia angrily} You know too much...

MAYOR: {v.o} And so, Conchris, with a smile on his lips tried to command the army... but they struck back and started a civil war. Conchris, Cruroar and Cieeia boarded themselves up in their house in an attempt to flee from the zombies but it seems the zombies were targeting them in particular...

{Cut to Conchris' House - Main Hall, the door is boarded up along with the windows, despite some windows having a few zombie arms poking out}

CONCHRIS: Oh man. I never knew raising the dead can be this bad.

CRUROAR: Yeah, especially since their master is an idiot!

CONCHRIS: I can't be THAT stupid! I mean, I raised the dead!

CIEEIA: {soft voice} Can I have some candy now?

CRUROAR: NO!

CIEEIA: Aww...

CONCHRIS: I was looking for a reason to fight zombies again! {pulls out his laser blade}

CRUROAR: You aren't planning to... fight the army... are you?

CONCHRIS: Yeah!

CRUROAR: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. {pauses to think} You know what, screw it. I might as well help. {pulls out his solar gun} Will you help us, Cieey?

CIEEIA: No.

CONCHRIS: Ha ha ha! Cieey! This is too rich!

CRUROAR: Whatever... let's just go and fight those guys...

{Conchris bursts down the door and several zombies start flowing in, Conchris beats them back with his laser blade, they suddenly multiply in force and they beat him down, Cruroar slowly walks back, pointing the gun at them, but they grab him by the arms and put salt and pepper on him.}

CONCHRIS: Well... that was fast...

ZOMBIE: Mmm... flesh. {begins to bite into Cruroar but is struck down by a fireball}

CRUROAR: What the?

{Quickly pan over to Cieeia, she has a torch in one hand}

CRUROAR: Cieeia?

CIEEIA: HEYGUYSWHYDON'TYOUJUSTDIE! {swings the torch around, setting fire to the zombies}

ZOMBIE #32: ARGH! WE NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING COOL THIS EPISODE! ARRGH! {melts away}

MAYOR: {v.o} As quick as they came, the zombies were all dead... again... Cieeia had to be chained to her seat because of her sugar rush and Forest... well, she went to the train station and got a train... to somewhere...

{Cut to the train station, a train stops and Forest gets on. The driver in the front seat of the train turns around}

TRAIN DRIVER: Hi, I'm a train driver. {grins creepily}

FOREST: You have got to be freaking... kidding me...

{The train rides off at a high speed}

MAYOR: {v.o} That's the end of my story... see you... next time on Uncle Spyden's Creepy Stories...

{Cut to Conchris' House - Living Room, Conchris, Cruroar, Cieeia and Chrionroar are crowded around the T.V, sitting on the couch}

CONCHRIS: That was the worst episode we have ever done, ever!

CRUROAR: That was the first episode we ever did for a holiday!

CIEEIA: I have to agree with Conchris on this one. This episode kind of sucked.

CHRIONROAR: (PRINT ERROR 02)

CONCHRIS: We know!

CRUROAR: So... how are we going to end this episode?

CONCHRIS: I think I know how...

{Cut to The Streets, Greg is tied to a firework}

GREG: Err... why am I strapped to a firework again?

SIRHCNOC: Shut up and let the fireworks do the talking.

{The firework lifts off into the air}

GREG: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! {fades into the distance as the fireworks explode to reveal a message}

Happy Halloween! Or... whatever...

{Cue credits}