Conshow/28rewrite

Summary

Cruroar and Cieeia want to be alone, but for what reason? Conchris is curious. Meanwhile, Sirhcnoc is terrorising Wikity with the heat ray

Transcript

{Open to Conchris' House - Main Hall}

CONCHRIS: Another day, another day, another day.

FOREST: Would you stop repeating the same words over and over again?!

CONCHRIS: No. No. No.

FOREST: SHUT UP! {blasts Conchris' head off, Conchris somehow grows another head}

CONCHRIS: That is why I kept a respawn token to myself.

FOREST: What the?

{Cruroar and Cieeia walk in}

FOREST: How cute. The two of you look like a couple.

CIEEIA: STOP IT!

FOREST: No.

CONCHRIS: Forest is built to pick on anyone with a problem with anything. Try not to let her get to you, she's just jealous that you're capable of emotion and SHE doesn't!

CRUROAR: What about...

CONCHRIS: IT NEVER HAPPENED!

{Cue introduction}

{Open to Sirhcnoc's Lair in a Mountain, Sirhcnoc is wearing a welder's mask and hammering a gun, Greg walks in}

GREG: What the hell are you doing?

SIRHCNOC: Mmph pftargl mms.

GREG: What?

{Sirhcnoc pulls up his welder's mask}

SIRHCNOC: I SAID FIXING THE HEAT RAY!

GREG: Whoa... no need to shout...

SIRHCNOC: Sorry. Anyway, I will be using this to terrorise Wikity.

GREG: How very uninspiring. If you need me, I'll be in the next episode...

{Greg walks off-screen, Sirhcnoc walks off with Greg and pulls him towards the other side of the screen}

SIRHCNOC: No, you're coming with me, AND THAT'S FINAL!

GREG: Aww!

{Cut to The Streets, Cruroar and Cieeia are standing outside Conchris' House}

CRUROAR: Take care you guys. Also, try not to blow up the house while the both of us are gone... okay?

CONCHRIS: You can trussssssssssssssssssssssssss...

{Conchris continues holding the word for five seconds, annoying Cruroar}

CONCHRIS: ...sssssssssst me. Wink.

CIEEIA: Weren't you supposed to actually wink?

CONCHRIS: ACTIONS ARE FOR IDIOTS WITH NO BRAIN CELLS! PUNCH YOU IN FACE! {punches Cieeia in the face, causing her to retaliate with a clonk on the head with the pipe} Peanut butter is a great fertiliser... Fall onto floor... {falls onto the floor}

{Forest steps over Conchris' unconscious body}

FOREST: Have fun, see ya!

{Forest throws Conchris' body into the house and shuts the door, cut to Conchris' House - Main Hall, Conchris gets up}

CONCHRIS: {sleepily} Megaman 2... {snaps out of his sleepy trance} Whoa! What were we about to do again?

FOREST: Thrusting a chainsaw into your head.

CONCHRIS: I know! Blowing up the house! {hands Forest a stick of dynamite} Hold this. {runs off-screen and then later comes back with a plunger} FIRE IN THE HOLE! {pushes down the plunger}

{Cut to the outside of the house, nothing happens, cut back to the main hall}

CONCHRIS: That was funny, I was hoping there wo...

{An explosion engulfs the screen and lasts for three seconds. When it fades, Conchris is severely charred and Forest is unharmed}

FOREST: I was hoping that you'd die in that explosion. Apparently, humans are resistant to explosions.

CONCHRIS: Vision fading... blacking out... fall onto floor again. {falls onto the floor, again}

FOREST: Well, it can't get any worse...

{A red beam of light is fired at Forest, which she dodges, cut to The Streets}

SIRHCNOC: DAMN! I was hoping that'd hit!

{Conchris gets up suddenly}

CONCHRIS: {dazed and confused} Who are you and what are you doing on my lawn?

SIRHCNOC: Er... I'm the delivery boy. I'm here to deliver death... TO YOU ALL! {laughs maniacally as he fires several shots, Conchris sleepily dodges all of them} Well, shoot.

{Conchris snaps out of his sleepy stance and jumps toward Sirhcnoc, they start pulling punches to each other, all of them missing. The two jump back and pulls out their guns}

CONCHRIS: I somehow recovered somehow! Also, eat frost!

{Conchris fires several shots as Sirhcnoc is firing his, they all hit each other and make an explosion}

SIRHCNOC: Let's bring this to the city!

CONCHRIS: Let's do this!

{Cue battle music (Suggestion: Battle for Storm Hill - Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat/Super Smash Bros. Brawl)}

{Conchris and Sirhcnoc run into the city and they begin to fight. Sirhcnoc starts by firing a few shots at Conchris, Conchris dodges them and they hit a traffic light, causing several cars to drive off into each other. Conchris runs close to the cafe and fires a few shots at Sirhcnoc, Sirhcnoc dodges most of them but gets hit by the last one in his right arm, he retaliates by firing off a charged shot at Conchris, who sidesteps out of the way and destroys the cafe's glass.}

CONCHRIS: Wow, you're a clone of me now!

SIRHCNOC: Since when?!

{Conchris and Sirhcnoc pull out their laser blades and run the stairs of the cafe to reach the top, they start to have a sword fight. Sirhcnoc swings at Conchris' legs, knocking him off balance, he then tries to stab Conchris but he rolls out of the way. Conchris charges at Sirhcnoc and heavily swings at his right arm, defrosting it. Sirhcnoc, with his new found arm strength, punches Conchris into a restaurant}

CRUROAR: Conches?! What are YOU doing here?

CONCHRIS: No time to explain! I'm having an epic duel with Sirhcnoc!

{Sirhcnoc dives in and grabs Conchris, he then throws Conchris at the table that Cruroar and Cieeia are sitting at. The people in the restaurant get up and run off in random directions.}

CRUROAR: {helps Cieeia up} Are you okay?

CIEEIA: That jerk ruined everything! Let's get him!

CRUROAR: Yeah!

{Cruroar pulls out his solar gun, stands where the hole was made and charges it up. Cieeia grabs the wine bottle and runs up to Sirhcnoc, she whacks him like a baseball, breaking the glass and sending him flying towards Conchris, Conchris gets up and grabs Sirhcnoc and then throws him at Cruroar, Cruroar fires off a charged shot that sends Sirhcnoc flying towards Cieeia again, Cieeia jabs Sirhcnoc with the broken bottle, grabs him, and throws him towards the kitchen}

SIRHCNOC: THAT'S NOT FAIR! Greg... HEEEEEEEAAAAALLLLLPPPP!

{Greg flies in with a robotic suit}

GREG: It's time to fight you fools to music as men in black suits dance in the background!

{Greg picks up Conchris and throws him towards a wall, sending him flying into a bank}

CONCHRIS: {dazed} Withdrawl... I like make... {slumps to the floor}

{Greg picks up Cieeia and starts to choke her, he then throws her towards the entrance of the restaurant, in which she hits the door and slumps down}

CRUROAR: Cieeia! You little...

{Greg walks up to Cruroar}

GREG: What are you going to do without your little friends to help? Cry for mommy?

CRUROAR: No... {grabs a glass bottle beside him} I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

{Cruroar jumps up to the cockpit of the suit and smashes it open, he then grabs Greg and throws him at the wall that leads to the kitchen. Cruroar runs in, smashes the bottle and before he can attack, the scene suddenly flickers, with the bottle being replaced with a rubber chicken}

CRUROAR: What the hell?

GREG: 4Wimps.

{Cut to the outside of the restaurant, a black van rolls up and several men run out of it, they clean up the restaurant and a flash of white light is seen, cut back to the inside}

CRUROAR: What was I doing again?

GREG: I forgot the reason why I was here...

{Sirhcnoc gets up}

SIRHCNOC: Oh crap! They're going to kill us! RUN!

{Sirhcnoc grabs Greg and tries to run off, but they hit a chef}

CHEF: Oh no, you don't! You have many dishes to clean!

{Cut to the kitchen again, Sirhcnoc is washing dishes}

SIRHCNOC: Can I leave now?

CHEF: NO!

{Greg pops his head out of the water to breathe a breath of air}

GREG: Can I stop being the sponge now?

CHEF: NO!

{Cut to the outside of the restaurant}

CRUROAR: That went worse than I expected.

CONCHRIS: Hey! It's not my fault that Sirhcnoc has gone psycho!

{Cut to Conchris' House - Main Hall, the door opens and Cruroar, Cieeia and Conchris walk in, Forest is standing at the door}

FOREST: So, what happened?

CIEEIA: What happened is that the IDIOT {glares at Conchris} here ruined a perfect moment!

FOREST: You're too scared to mention the three words that will drastically change the way that this show operates forever!

CRUROAR: Leave her out of this!

CIEEIA: No, she's right. Cruroar, we've been friends for years now and I've been growing more attached to you each day. I just wanted to say, Cruroar. I love you...

CRUROAR: Wha?

{Cruroar looks around nervously and hugs Cieeia, Conchris pops up in front of them}

CONCHRIS: I had a rather epic fight with Sirhcnoc. He's like a clone of me now!

CRUROAR: Way to ruin the mood, jerk.

CONCHRIS: Hey! This show wasn't made for drama!

FOREST: What about Forum Drama?

CONCHRIS: Maybe those...

CRUROAR: Speaking of Not-Drama, where's Chrionroar? We haven't seen him all episode...

{Cut to a battlefield, Chrionroar is having a picnic whilst several soldiers pass him by, the bullets that fly by miss him, Chrionroar eats a sandwich which somehow kills the soldier behind him}

CHRIONROAR: I ARE BATTLE LUNCH GOD!

{Cue credits}

{Cut to a black screen with the word "END" on it}

WRITER: {voice} Here's hoping I don't drastically change the personalities... or that it will COME BACK to haunt me...

GHOST OF WRITING PAST: {voice} I am the ghost of your writing's past!

WRITER: {voice} Shove off...

GHOST OF WRITING PAST: {voice} Fine!

{A poof noise is heard}