(even if you aren't vegan)
Con email.wue/58
Contents
Summary
The Description is still taking a vacation!
Cast in order of appearance: Conchris, Cruril the 3rd, Captain Homestar
Places: Conchris' Room, The Blue Star
Transcript
CONCHRIS: Email?
Dear C. Chris,
H*R 700
What do you think of that Stinkoman game?
CONCHRIS: Yeesh, do people run out of ideas that quick? Do you think what I think of that game? I think it is...{mutters} deleted...
{The Computer changes into a pre square}
DELETED!!!
{The Computer changes back}
CONCHRIS: That was too random, better get an excuse to extend the email.
{cut to The Blue Star}
CRURIL THE 3RD: Yarr! This be another sea mail rap!
Dear Cruril the 3rd,
Do you think our ships should join forces?
My ship: The rusty oester may prove invaluable to you.
List of crew excluding me:
First mate H*R
Limpy Josh
Patch-eyed Dino
Yours, Captain Saderworth
CRURIL THE 3RD: Ya-har! Captain Homestar! Turn this beauty around! We're going fer' The Rust Oyster.
CAPTAIN HOMESTAR: Aye aye, Admiral Cruril! {turns wheel}
{Cut to the TV Room, presumably the same room that is currently used for H*R.com's toons menu}
CONCHRIS: This episode of The Blue Star is going to be cool! It is so awesome!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Go Captain Me!
{Cut to The Blue Star}
CAPTAIN HOMESTAR: Rusty Oyster, ahoy!
CRURIL THE 3RD: Yar! Let's be goings then!
CAPTAIN HOMESTAR: Aye aye!
{the screen gets a black shade over it and a letter comes up}
What happens next? (No longer works)
Choices
1
Summary
Cast in order of appearance: Homestar Runner, Conchris, Captain Homestar, Cruril the 3rd, Some Sailor, Some Other Sailor
Places in order of appearance: Homestar's 'Teebie' room, The Blue Star, The Sea
Transcript
{Homestar Runner comes in with the popcorn}
HOMESTAR: I'm back with the popcorn!
CONCHRIS: Shush! They're restarting!
{Cut to The Blue Star}
{A bang is heard}
CRURIL THE 3RD: YARR! What be that?
CAPTAIN HOMESTAR: We be attacked by coral reefs and icebergs! The wind is pushing us to it!
CRURIL THE 3RD: Shiver me timbers! Some Sailor and Some Other Sailor! Bring ye sails in!
SOME SAILOR: {in a posh british accent} I dare say that this ship is done for!
SOME OTHER SAILOR: Who cares? Do ye want to walk ye plank?
SOME SAILOR: Oh bother! The shi... {ship sinks, Cruril the 3rd and Captain Homestar hold onto the edge of the iceberg}
CRURIL THE 3RD: Ye be an idiot for sailing us through here.
CAPTAIN HOMESTAR: Sorry, captain...
CRURIL THE 3RD: YE ARE DEMOTED TO OFFICER. Any objections and ye will be sleepin' with the fishes.
{Cut to Homestar's TV Room}
CONCHRIS: That's it? That is too crummy...
HOMESTAR: Well, the guy who looks like me got demoted, that's a good thing right?
CONCHRIS: Ugh... I be going... {leaves}
{The Paper comes down}
2
Summary
Cast in order of appearance: Cruril the 3rd, Captain Homestar, Strong Badlackbeard, Captain Strong Mad, Strong Sailor, The Preat
Places: The Blue Star, The Black Ahoy
Transcript
CRURIL THE 3RD: Capin' Homestar, I see The Rusty Oyster ahead!
CAPTAIN HOMESTAR: That's not The Rusty Oyster, That's The Black Ahoy! YARR!
{Cut to The Black Ahoy}
STRONG BADLACKBEARD: Shiver me timbers! I see Captain Homestar and that dumb pirate ahead. STRONG SAILOR! BRING THE SHIP CLOSER OR IT BE THE PLANK FOR YE!
STRONG SAILOR: {sighs} Okay... {spins wheel}
CAPTAIN STRONG MAD: I AM CAPTAIN!
{Cut to The Blue Star}
CRURIL THE 3RD: Yarr! Prepare for ferocious battle men!
{Cut to The Black Ahoy, Cruril the 3rd and Strong Badlackbeard are having a sword fight, words come up}
Control Cruril the 3rd to victory!
- Press W to block High
- Press S to block Middlin'
- Press X to block Low
- Press E to strike High
- Press D to strike Middlin'
- Press C to strike Low
{After you win the fight}
STRONG BADLACKBEARD: Yar-har! {knocks the sword out of Cruril the 3rd's hands} There be no escape for ye!
CRURIL THE 3RD: Ye and what ship?
{The Preat jumps in and barely swipes Cruil the 3rd}
CRURIL THE 3RD: Weaklings... {kicks Strong Badlackbeard and runs off}
STRONG BADLACKBEARD: YE WILL BE BACK! I KNOW YE! YE WILL BE BACK!
{The paper comes down}
3
Summary
Cast in order of appearance: Conchris, Homestar Runner
Places: Homestar's TV Room
Transcript
{The adverts on the TV end and it switches to the Boredem channel, the voices unless stated are monotone}
CONCHRIS: Ugh, this is boring.
HOMESTAR: Yeah, it is.
CONCHRIS: Want to go outside.
HOMESTAR: Okay.
{Conchris and Homestar slowly get up and walk off}
MAN IN TV: No wait! Come back! We're only getting to the best part!
{The Paper comes down}
MAN IN TV: Please don't end the email The Paper! {starts sobbing}
{The Paper comes down an extra line: "Who cares? I signal the end of the email, moron}
MAN IN TV: Don't {sob} you {sob} be {sob} MEAN TO ME! {starts crying}
{The Paper covers the screen}
MAN IN TV: MY LIFE IS A JOKE! {continues crying}
Fun Facts
Explanations
- The Computer changing to a pre square explains that the pre squares are way too overrated.
