Con email.wue/117

Summary

Conchris answers three emails, but then he had to go do something, Cruroar then comes in... and stuff happens...

Part of the "Cruroar's Goodbye?" story arc.

Transcript

{Fade into the evil castle throne room again, Mistar Badd Gramma-nd-Spelin is fiddling with his fingers}

SHADOWY FIGURE: So? Did you DESTROY them?!

MISTAR BADD GRAMMA-ND-SPELIN: Umm... not likely... no, bro...

SHADOWY FIGURE: WHAT?! I specifically said to destroy them! If that white Cheat ever spreads the info of my secret weapon, my business is ruined!

MISTAR BADD GRAMMA-ND-SPELIN: So?

SHADOWY FIGURE: That means we'll be caught! You heard of the last time my cousin failed to crush the Cheat Commandos because they knew of his secret weapon?

MISTAR BADD GRAMMA-ND-SPELIN: Aw {bleep} this, I'm going the record studio. {walking towards the door} See ya!

{Mistar Badd Gramma-nd-Spelin walks out of the door, the shadowy figure sighs}

SHADOWY FIGURE: Why do I always hire B-Villains?

{Fade out and then fade into Conchris' Computer room}

CONCHRIS: Hurray for email!

Subject: end of the world!

Dear Conchris,
The World will end soon.
A Friendbert

CONCHRIS: The world will end soon, huh? You remind me of Strong Sad after he took too much of that decaffeinated Coffee.

{Cut to The Field, Strong Sad is on top of the box with eyes very wide open}

STRONG SAD: No, no, no! I mean it! The world will be destroyed by Dinosaurs!

CONCHRIS: Oh really?

STRONG SAD: Yeah!

{Homestar comes in}

HOMESTAR: Hey there, Strong Sad! Do you know where Stong Ba is?

STRONG SAD: The world is- Oh, Homestar, Strong Bad is at his house.

HOMESTAR: Oh, right, right. {walks off}

{Cut back to the computer room}

CONCHRIS: You see, the world ain't going to end soon, Strong Sad. NEXT EMAIL!

Subject: WIN A FREE IPOD!

Friday... mk5dude will return...

CONCHRIS: Who's this mk5dude? He seems like a strange character and besides, it's Saturday! You never returned! DELETED!!!

DELETED!!!

CONCHRIS: Well, I guess that's all the emails, right? I'm sure there isn't a third one!

{Conchris walks off, The Paper comes down saying, "Click here to email Conchris!]]"}

{Wind whistles, after a while, Cruroar comes in}

CRUROAR: Hey, Conchris! I'm going out for a whi- Hey look! An email!

Subject:Curse! Mwha ha ha!

Dear Conchris,
This email is cursed.
So cursed in fact that I had to avert my eyes
while writing it.
Now that you've read it, you're CURSED!
From,
Moo

CRUROAR: {reading the email} Meh, it's for Conchris. {shouting} CONCHRIS! THIS EMAIL'S FOR YOU!

CONCHRIS: {off-screen, shouting} WHAT?! I THOUGHT... YOU READ IT DIDN'T YOU?!

CRUROAR: Read what?

{Conchris walks in}

CONCHRIS: The cursed email! You're not supposed to look at it! {presses the delete button whilst his eyes were averted}

DELETED!!! and... cursed...

CONCHRIS: See? I didn't check that email for obvious reasons.

CRUROAR: How would you know?

{Bubs pokes his head in}

BUBS: He bought my very first actually working software! It's called...

{An orange box pops up with a pix elated picture of Bubs in the corner with the words "Bubs' Anti-Curse Email Checker! V0.33"}

BUBS: Bubs' Anti-Curse Email Checker! It actually works! But I had to sell it {box disappears} at a high price! And it sold like hotcake!

CONCHRIS: I wouldn't trust Bubs much on the price... and the workability. I'm glad it actually worked for me.

BUBS: {pulling fists up} You saying that I'm lying?!

CONCHRIS: No! No! Not at all! Now, get outta here, Bubs.

BUBS: Okay doke! {goes off-screen the same way he entered}

CRUROAR: Anyway, I'm going out for a while. May I have your permission to leave the house?

CONCHRIS: Fine. Just don't die.

CRUROAR: Oh don't worry! I pushed Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A and Start to gain 30 more lives!

{pause}

CONCHRIS: You do know that this ain't a game, right?

CRUROAR: Anything can happen! See ya! {crashes through the window}

CONCHRIS: {sighs} He's a goner...

{The scene grows dark but still visible}

NARRATOR: {voice over} Will Conchris ever negate Cruroar's curse? Will Mistar Badd Gramma-nd-Spelin strike it rich? Will Homestar wear pants? And, why does Cruroar want Conchris' permission to leave the house? Stay tuned, next time on {suspenseful music} Con_email.exe!

{The Paper comes down saying, "To be continued, while you wait, click here to email Conchris!"}

Fun Facts

• There are 53 lines in this email (under the 1440x900 resolution).

www.homestarrunner.com References

• The narrator asks "Will Homestar wear pants?" is a reference to the Homestar Runner's Pants running gag.

Real World References

• The code that Cruroar blurts out is the Konami code which is a cheat code used in several Konami games. (e.g. Contra)