Con email.wue/112

Summary

Conchris answers an email about something, finds out that Frank Benedetto is 'dead' and performs some kind of surgery on it

Cast: Conchris, Frank Benedetto, Homestar Runner, Strong Bad (Off-screen only)

Easter Egg Only Cast: King of Town (No lines), Cooksar Baker, Cruroar

Transcript

CONCHRIS: It's Email Time!

Email Checkzor V1.90909840390434890589

Hello there! Welcome back Conchris! You have 1 unchecked email, which our assistant has muddled up!
Have fun reading it!

CONCHRIS: I swear, if the assistant messed the email up, I'll...

Subject: Surgery

Dear Conchris,
I'm afraid Frank Benedetto's dying.
Could you please proform open Heart Surgery on it
and save its life?
Thank you,
Strong Sader

CONCHRIS: It was not like this when I first read it! Wait, would that mean that it would've been checked already? Nah, must've ran it under the Proof-reader thingy... {typing} Well, Strong Sader, I would 'proform' heart surgery on you but who do you think I am? It's not like Homestar is going to come up to me and say...

HOMESTAR: {yelling, offscreen, muffled} CONCHRIS! YOU GOTTA HELP ME OUT!

CONCHRIS: Yeah, like that. Only it's about...

{Cut to the room, Homestar is standing there}

HOMESTAR: It's Frank Benedetto! He's dying!

CONCHRIS: {mumbling} I should've locked the door. {talking} Of what?

HOMESTAR: Natural causes!

CONCHRIS: Umm, fine, I'll take a look at it... TO THE FIELD!

{cut to a time-card which says 2 hours later then cuts to The Field}

CONCHRIS: We're losing it!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh really? I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! He was a great troop!

STRONG BAD: {off-screen} More like some stupid popcorn maker, if you ask me!

CONCHRIS: Well, nothing can be done now. We might as well asplode it and give it a proper burial.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {crouching down, facing away from Conchris} OH NO! IT'S JUST TO MUCH TO HANDLE! Can I have his orange bowl when he dies?

CONCHRIS: He? HE?! It is an object. Not a living thing!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And now, Mrs. Benedetto still owes me 5 bucks for enrolling him! WHY?!

CONCHRIS: I'll see what I can do!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {gets up, suddenly not crying} Oh gee thanks! Wait'll till I tell Mrs. Benedetto about this! {runs off}

CONCHRIS: {smacks himself on his forehead} I don't know why I bother... Let's see, a bit of re-wiring and...

{Frank Benedetto 'comes' to life and starts spewing out popcorn}

CONCHRIS: AHH! POPCORN ATTACK! AHH! {runs off}

{Cut to a time card which says "1 day later" then cuts back, Frank Benedetto is still spewing out popcorn, Homsar walks in}

HOMSAR: Why hi there Mr. Man! Did you want any toothpaste of gravy mountain?

{Homsar opens his mouth and swallows all the popcorn, and Frank Benedetto, in one gulp and then walks off}

{Conchris walks in}

CONCHRIS: Phew! And I thought we would be ruled by evil popcorn overlords which aren't edible at all... Hey, where's that thing?

{Closeup to where Frank Benedetto was, dramatic music}

CONCHRIS: AHH! It's gone! Oh man! Homestar would cry all night about it if I don't recover it! Oh, I know! I'll make a new one!

{Cut to yet another time-card "1 hour later", then cuts back}

CONCHRIS: I hope it'll fool him...

{Homestar walks in}

CONCHRIS: Why hello there Homestar! Frank's feeling fine! {shudders} {mumbling} I can't believe I called it that...

HOMESTAR: SOLD! {takes the New Frank Benedetto and walks off}

CONCHRIS: Fooled him. I wonder where that thing went?

{Cut to The Cliff, Frank Benedetto is spat out and is near the cliff edge, weird walking noises were heard}

{The Paper comes down saying, "Click here to Email Conchris!"}

Fun Facts

Easter Eggs

• Clicking on Frank Benedetto before it gets eaten by Homsar turns it into The King Of Town's head.
• Clicking on Frank Benedetto at the end of the email will play a short scene.

Easter Egg Transcript

{Cut to Conchris' House}

COOKSAR BAKER: Hey! We weren't featured in this episode! I demand a refund!

CRUROAR: Umm, you can't pay to read or watch an email...

COOKSAR BAKER: Well, I'll be off to do my OWN EMAIL! And it'll be cooler than his! {walks off}

CRUROAR: Horray! I'm finally on my own in an easter egg! Wait, what?

{Cut back to The Cliff}

Conchris' Comment

4/5 - Meh.