Con email.wue/111

Summary

Conchris is asked if he can play the guitar, and if not, will he decide to?

Cast (In order of Appearance): Conchris, Cruroar, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Marshie, Marzipan.

Cast (Easter Egg only): Rather Dashing, Teller

Transcript

{Conchris runs in, wipes the dust off and double-clicks on email.exe}

CONCHRIS: Wow! Only like, 10 seconds or something! Even though I haven't answered emails in a while, let's get to checkin'.

{The assistant pops up saying, "Good Evening, Conchris. You have 2 new e-mails which I shall mangle for you!", the assistant disappears and an email pops up in jumbled words}

subject: gweetarrr

Hye, DD!
Odd sad dont never guitar?
If not, good you? If so, you playing it?
DELETED!

AAA

CONCHRIS: Ha ha ha, very funny... Just give me my real email!

subject: gweetar

Hey, CC!
Do you or have you ever played guitar?
If so, how good are you? If not, have you
ever considered playing it?
Yours truly,

ZPP

{Conchris says "CC" as spelt and ZPP as spelt}

CONCHRIS: Wow! People have forgotten how to type my name in full since I've been gone for so long! Not that I hate it when someone shortens the name... Anyway, {typing} Have I ever played guitar? If you mean it real universe-wise then no. I swear that the real person making me do this doesn't play guitar. If you mean it as in this universe-wise, then no again. I do not guitar and I have played one, disaster. Why me is talking odd all of sudden? Great, the stupid email that the assistant messed up. Anyway, I better find that video Cruroar made for no reason. Oh Cruroar!

{Cruroar walks in}

CRUROAR: Yes? What is it?

CONCHRIS: Do you know that stupid video I threw away?

CRUROAR: Yeah, what about it?

CONCHRIS: Is it still in the bin?

CRUROAR: Nope, some guy that has a "house-mouth" took it and punched me, sending me through the window and landing safely on the floor with little to no injur...

CONCHRIS: Okay thanks, Cruroar, I'll just sneak off to Strong Bad's house, steal it and destroy it. {sneaks off} Sneak...

{Cut to Strong Bad's Basement, Strong Bad is watching T.V, horrible guitar sounds are heard}

STRONG BAD: HA HA HA! Oh man, this idiot really is dumber than I thought!

{Conchris enters from the left}

CONCHRIS: Sneak...

STRONG BAD: Why am I hearing someone saying "Sneak"?

CONCHRIS: {thinking} Crap, he heard me! What do I do now? Let's check the options I have...

{Three options pop up at the bottom of the screen, then disappear after a while}

CONCHRIS: {thinking} Nope, I've got nothing! Wait! I've got an idea! Time to act creepy!

{Conchris sneaks behind the couch and crouches down}

CONCHRIS: {whispering} Strong Bad...

STRONG BAD: WHA! {falls off the couch} What was that?

CONCHRIS: {whispering} Leave now or face the wrath of me.

STRONG BAD: Umm... Okay, I'm going, before I face the wrath of you, nameless person. {leaves}

{Conchris jumps from behind the couch and lands on it}

CONCHRIS: Right time to take the video!

{Fade out to a thing saying "3 minutes later", fade in}

{Strong Bad and Strong Mad comes in from the left}

STRONG BAD: I could've sworn that I... Oh no!

{Close up of T.V with a note saying "I stole your stolen good!"}

STRONG BAD: My stolen video has been video-napped! And it had 5 minutes worth of laughter on it!

STRONG MAD: WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!

STRONG BAD: Let's see, I think we should go and... Nah, I'll leave it.

{Cut to The Field, the video is burning on a fire}

CONCHRIS: Ha ha ha! Now nobody can find out the horrible secrets of the video!

CRUROAR: Geez, why don't you just overwrite it? It's only just...

CONCHRIS: Nobody uses tapes anymore! CDs and DVDs are the way now! Unless you are like old or have like an old TV.

{The screen darkens as Marshie appears on screen}

MARSHIE: That's right! Now you too can own your very own {Cut to a star background with a T.V with a video player on top} Old T.V with a video player on top! Courtesy of Fluffy Puff Marshmallows! All you have to do is guess what happens next and then write it down. And...

{Record scratching}

CONCHRIS: {offscreen} Hey! This is MY e-mail show! I get to decide when all the ads come in and I say there is no when or where. Now get your stupid commerical thing off my Email show! {The screen explodes, revealing the scene before the commerical}

CONCHRIS: Much better. Now all I have to do is wait.

{Cut to a screen saying "5 hours later", cut back}

CONCHRIS: Any minute now...

{Cut to the same scene but in the morning, the fire has burnt out, Conchris is lying down with half of his body offscreen}

CONCHRIS: Ugh... {gets up} Where am I? Ah! The tape! It's burnt to a crisp! Perfect! Now I'm going to...

MARZIPAN: {offscreen} You're going to clean that mess up right now!

CONCHRIS: AH! Broom-thing! I thought you didn't exist!

MARZIPAN: Didn't exist? I didn't get any screen-time! Now you're going to clean this mess up right now, mister!

CONCHRIS: Fine. {Marzipan walks off-screen, Homestar walks on-screen with an Orange Tupperware Bowel on his head while Conchris is dusting the ashes}

HOMESTAR: I say there, my good man! Do you want to join The Homestarmy and take over Strongbadia?

CONCHRIS: Homestar, go away, I haven't the time.

HOMESTAR: Fine! If that's the way you want, I'll just leave! Stand straight! Backwards march! {marches off-screen backwards}

CONCHRIS: Stupid broom-thing, mumble grumble, grumblecakes mumble. {continues mumbling as The Paper comes down}

{The Paper comes down saying "Click here to E-mail Conchris, random word}

Fun Facts

Homestar Runner References

• Conchris sneaks off whilst saying "Sneak" in a similar fashion to Strong Bad saying "Slink" whilst slinking off in the Strong Bad Email: Retirement Part A.

Easter Eggs

• Click on the ashes at the end to see this scene.

Easter Egg Transcript 1

{Cut to inside a cottage, Peasant's Quest style, word boxes pop up as each character speaks}'

TELLER: I am randomly going to guess that you will turn into an assistant in an electronic and you'll mess e-mails up, severly hindering the checker.

RATHER DASHING: Me? An assistant for an Email checker? Hah! You hast to be joking!

TELLER: I'm not joking, and soon, as you leave this here Scalding Lake, you'll find your cottage burnt to a crisp by the one Dragon named: Trogdor!

RATHER DASHING: Oh stop telling me a bunch of lies! If you would excuse me, I'm going to be leaving now...

{Cut to a blank screen with the words "5 hours later", cut back}

RATHER DASHING: {faint shouting} TRRRRROOOOOOGGGGGGGGDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

{Cut back to the end scene}

Author's Comment

4/5 - No comment, seriously.