Color Printer's E-mails/Thoraxcorp

Summary

Spam time.

Cast: Color Printer, Bitmap, Homestar (Voice only)

Places: Computer Room, Bitmap's Room

Transcript

Color Printer: It's another e-mail, another e-mail, ooh-aah!

A Public Service Announcement
There is no cure for mnemonics, and foreign milk and salad may be contributing to the 
problem. Everyone should chip in to help us prevent this odd, bee-shaped sausage link.
Prices as low as $245.59 can help save the runaway chocolate truffles. Call, write, or 
email today at 1-800-FISHSTICKS. If you are suffering from acute, obtuse or ungrateful
mnemonics, you can get help from the Thorax Corporation. Look them up in the phone
book, or peruse their floppy green website at www.thoraxcorp.com.

Color Printer: {reads all the way up to "odd, bee-shaped", starts slowing down, and eventually stops at "1-800-FISHSTICKS"} What the CRAP?!? What is this piece of junk? {keeps reading} Well, it seems Thoraxcorp.com is sending out spam junk e-mails. How the crap did I get on that list?

{Cut to a flashback. Bitmap is in his room on his Pixel 386. He is at thoraxcorp.com.}

SIGN UP FOR OUR MAILING LIST

E-mail: ______________

SUBMIT

Bitmap: Heh heh heh! {types "[email protected]"} Sucker!

{Cut back to the computer.}

Color Printer: So what am I supposed to do? Oh, I got it. This is gonna be good. {Rewrites some stuff so it reads the following:}

Dear Mr. Homestar,
There is no cure for mnemonics, and foreign milk and salad may be contributing to the 
problem. You should chip in to help us prevent this odd, bee-shaped sausage link.
Prices as low as $245.59 can help save the runaway chocolate truffles. Just send all donations to Color Printer. If you are suffering from acute, obtuse or ungrateful
mnemonics, you can get help from the Thorax Corporation. Look them up in the phone
book, or peruse their floppy green website at www.thoraxcorp.com.

Color Printer: Time for fun! {types "Forward to Homestar"}

MESSAGE FORWARDED TO:
[email protected]

Color Printer: All right, and now, we wait. {long pause, a message is displayed on the computer afterwards}

New message

Color Printer: All right, let's see here.

Dear Thorax Corporation,
That's funny! You have the same e-mail address as
my good friend, Color What's-his-name. I will send 
10 payments of $245.59 to him today!
Sincerely,
Homestar

Color Printer: {reads e-mail, voice is overlapped with Homestar's} Heh heh heh! Now all I have to do is wait for that sweet $2455.90 to arrive!

{The Printed Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

• Click on "Thorax Corporation" to be taken to the Thorax Corporation website.
• Click on "$245.59" to see a check from Homestar to Color Printer.

Fun Facts

• Seriously, who the crap sent me this e-mail?
  • 'Twas I! I thought it would be funny...--Einoo 18:13, 13 Apr 2005 (MDT)