Color Printer's E-mails/Pay-per-view

Overview

Oh no! CP's e-mail is a subscription-based...thing!

Cast: CP, Bitmap, Rather Printing

Page 1

The following text is displayed on the SC 10000:

CP's E-mails: Subscription Site!

*Only $13.99 a month!
*Or take the $180.99 yearly package!
*Cool E-mails!
*Fun Games!
*Bitmap Stuff!

CLICK HERE FOR A 7 SECOND TRIAL!

7 Second Trial Transcript

{At the bottom, a timer is displayed.}

Color Printer: 1,2,3,4! {singing like a rock star} E-MAAAAAAAAAAIL!

Dear The Printer,
What you be like in a Videlectrix game?
Sincerely,
Stinkoman

{CP reads halfway through the e-mail before the words "TRIAL OVER" is displayed.}

Page 2

Bitmap is holding a sign with the following text:

BITMAP STUFF!
*Hear Songs
*Watch stuff
*Buy stuff
*AND MORE!

Click here for sample

Bitmap "Sample" Transcript

{Bitmap does a dance like The Homestar Runner's.}

Page 3

A TROGDOR! arcade cabinet displays the following text.

COOL GAMES!!

Such as:
*Printer's Quest (CLICK HERE FOR TRIAL!)
*Bitmap's Algebra
*And 3 more!

Each game only adds $2 for the monthly package and $30 for the yearly package!

Printer's Quest Trial

This is EXACTLY like Peasant's Quest only Printer-ized. Also, you skip the controls screen. If you type anything but "QUIT" or try to leave the area, the following message pops up:

BUY THE FULL VERSION!

*Commands such as "look", "save", and "wear mask"!
*Ability to leave the area!
*Possibility to "win" the game!

If you type QUIT, the game quits.

Page 4

ORDER NOW!
 First Name ________
  Last Name ________
   Nickname ________
Nick's Name ________
      Month ________
      D/O/B ________
Organ Donor ________
   Car Keys ________
   Passcode ________
Credit Card
     Number ________
(M)onthly 
or (Y)early? _
             Submit

Page 5

Thank you. You will recieve your order
in 6 to 8 weeks.

Fun Facts

• With the yearly package, it would cost $13.11 more than 12 months on the montly package.
  • Also, with the games, each game costs $6 more for the yearly package than 12 months for the monthly package.
• The 7 second trial and the Printer's Quest trial are related.
• If you bought the monthly package and all 5 games, it would cost $23.99 a month.
• If you bought the yearly package and all 5 games, it would cost $330.99 a year.
  • It would cost you 43.11 more money if you bought the yearly package.
• This is like the April Fools H*R thing.
• April fools!